Peeing in my pants is hilarious!

Julia - posted on 09/21/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Ok.
Here is the story: My son (now 22months old) hasn't pooped in his diapers since he's 5 months old. We did Elimination Communication since that age and it went great. He mostly told us when he needed to pee, too, with ups and downs, depending on which growth spurts he was challenged with or which interesting/fun thing/activity was pushing the elimination need in the background. When he was 18 months we had the big breakthrough. No more accidents no more diapers in the night, just absolutely amazing to see his little butt enjoying total freedom :-)
Now, a week ago, he started peeing in his pants. He does that absolutely consciously, he tells me beforehand with this huge grin on his face that he now is going to pee in his pants. :-)
(which tells me he is still aware of it, that's good...)

Right, what have I done so far. I have stayed pretty cool, my intention with the EC was never to get him out of his diapers as soon as possible but rather to add another little puzzle piece of communication to our relationship. It was a very exciting and enjoyable journey (most of the time ;-) Of course the fact, that he was out his diapers was super cool, relieving, this chapter is checked! Sure I was happy.
I have put diapers on him again, now and then I leave them off, but that just means more laundry....... a lot of laundry, pants after pants after pants....
I have reacted sad/disappointed, and then thought, no, this is not what I want, he cannot disappoint me, no matter what.....
I have reacted like it is the most normal thing in the world to take off his wet pants and put on some new ones....lalalala, did you like your lunch pumpkin?
I have bought him Thomas the Train underwear!!!!
Most of the time now I react with humor, oh goodness another puddle of smelly peepee! But fear that this could encourage him to keep going.... the thing is he really doesn't seem to mind being wet at all, I have left his wet pants on for a bit the other day, he will not ask me to take them off....
Oh man, too many thoughts? Shall I just wait and relax? Is this just the beginning of two-year-olds' independence exploration, a phase that will pass? Will he get used to the convenience of diapers? Now, that I just got used to the convenience of no diapers...

What do you guys think? Any ideas? Is there a nice book that could encourage him? It worked with brushing his teeth, I got a book from the library with a crocodile that's rushing its teeth, he now always wants to be the crocodile :-) Oh and the electric toothbrush with the train on it (named Thomas...) has worked wonders, too (We live very close to a train track, so this is a big thing!)

Anyway, I appreciate any input on that matter!
Thanks guys!

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7 Comments

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Karen - posted on 09/23/2010

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If my daughter (22 months) pees in her clothes I just "oops, pee goes in the toilet. Next time you can put your pee in the toilet.". This is right in line with other things I say like "feet stay on the floor and hands are for the table." I just state a fact without any judgement at all. Then I might talk about all the work it takes to clean up pee and have her help me (put her clothes in the laundry etc) and how easy it is to just flush the pee away.

Julia - posted on 09/22/2010

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Thanks for all your replies. I don't sweat it :-)
I think what also bothers me a bit is that he always seemed so happy to get rid of the pee straight away rather than having this yucky wet feeling in his pants/dipes... i was always kinda proud that I could avoid getting him used to this and to just letting go rather than being aware of his need to go. We never really used diapers in a regular way, most of the time he was in undies...I think it's just me struggling with this change since he seems perfectly happy with diapers, it's like he's experimenting with something new.... today he told almost a little bit proudly that he was peeing in his diapers.....No Lasse! It's supposed to be the other way round! :-D (I didn't say that, just "are you?"
We actually watched some toddlers on youtube today as they were sitting on there potties with their books.... I didn't say anything, we just watched, I just thought if kids are surrounded by older kids or other kids in general, which they naturally should then they pick up these things naturally, my son (and we!) doesn't really have that regular social life (yet, we're working on it, we just moved and our old place in suburbia was very isolated....) so I tried to simulate this experience with the laptop....argh, how sad is that...anyway, after watching,which he didn't really want to stop, I asked him whether he also wanted his little potty next to the big one, like the kids had had and whether we should put some books next to it. He was totally thrilled about this idea and together we gathered all the stuff we needed for a pleasurable toilet experience ;-) I had gotten kinda bad about this, making the toilet a fun place, maybe that's why he got tired of it.... hm.... so yeah, let's see what happens, I am as relaxed as a rock and take it as it comes :-)

April, don't feel sad, if I hadn't done the EC and wouldn't be used to being spoiled with a child who mostly tells me he needs to go (since he was 5 months old!) then I would just take it as it comes, and let the little one tell me when he's ready. That's what I do now that I have digested the shock, haha....

Marcy - posted on 09/22/2010

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my son showed no interest until he turned 3ish. His teacher suggested that I just put him in undies and bring him to school. They do a great job with getting them to use the potty. The one thing that really helped is I made him a "badge" for his shirt (I used an old pin and covered it up) and it said "Big boy potty training". It was in the shape of a star and he loved wearing it to school. It did take us about 4-5 months though and I would say that at about 3 1/2 was when he actually started getting the whole I have to go feeling......

The only reason we pushed was because his school wanted him to move out of the nursery. It was a lot easier to do when he was a little older vs. 2ish. Good luck and don't sweat it...they all get it.

April - posted on 09/22/2010

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now i feel all sad and disappointed too because my son hates the potty. he is 21 months and very afraid of the toilet. it makes me feel bad that all his friends are on the way to being trained (i.e. showing interest) but he does not want to go near the bathroom. he's my first so i have no clue how to proceed. i don't whether to leave it alone and try again in a few months or keep offering him opportunities to use the toilet. I need ideas too!!!

Brenda - posted on 09/21/2010

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I agree. My five year old didn't potty train until 3 1/2 because I let him lead. *shrugs* Just go with the flow. They aren't in diapers in kindergarten..LOL

Julia - posted on 09/21/2010

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Absolutely Marcy :-D As much as I am a little nervous about the whole toddlerhood thing and how I will be able to keep in in some sort of frame I can't wait to see his personality explode! Every day now he comes up with something new and I am just so so so happy that I can be there and experience his path to independence, support him and just be there. It's the most precious thing I have ever experienced in my whole life. So much fun. Fascination. Love.
Thanks for your input, Marcy, I will keep cool and keep the diapers on. And just accept what's happening. Guess that's the smoothest way for all of us.
Btw. Hope you made it to the bathroom ;-)

Marcy - posted on 09/21/2010

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I'm sorry Julia...I can't stop laughing....I might actually pee in my pants (the whole kagle (spelling) thing after giving birth obviously didn't work for me). Thanks for sharing your story. I can just see him telling you that he is going to pee in his pants.

I didn't practice EC with my son but we sure kind of just let him lead the way with learning how to go potty....just to give you some idea he was the oldest one in the nursery at his school for a long time.
Maybe you could pick some fun adventures with him to get the ball rolling again....like find a new park to go to or a trip to the movies and tell him that he needs to stay dry during your fun adventure.

At about 2 years old my son showed no signs of wanting to use the potty but upon going in his pants he would drop his outer wear to show me his full diaper..kind of like "Hey look mom, check out what I did for you." For sure you are starting to get the full blown out version of toddlerhood. I guess from my perspective if he would rather be in a diaper at this point then I just would let him until the "games" subside...

Good luck and thanks again for making my smile...they sure make for loads of entertainment don't they?