Waking and waking and Waking at night!!!

[deleted account] ( 7 moms have responded )

My 12 month old still does not sleep through the night. I dont know what to do. She cosleeps in the bed with me. I love having her with me, but a year of only a couple hours of straight sleep is wearing on me, and I am afraid may be wearing on her too!! I really am not ready to put her in her own room, but I guess would be ok with putting her in a crib in my room. I don't know if that would even help. I am completely opposed to CIO. Any thoughts or suggestions would be great! I think my little one and I could really use a full nights sleep. ( OH and she is still breastfeeding, and does that everytime she wakes through the night)

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Karen - posted on 09/30/2010

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In my experience that is normal behaviour for a 12 month old. Sorry I don't have better news for you. My daughter is 22 months and wakes between 2-5 times a night to nurse. I'm working on taking her off the boob before she's totally asleep to see if that will change anything... So far she's just slowly moving toward sleeping more all on her own (last night was a good night with only two wakings - of course then she nursed every ten minutes for the hour before we got up).
I think what helped me was just realizing that it was normal and not a problem that needed to be "fixed". Hang in there!

Heather - posted on 10/02/2010

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You know, I agree that "sleeping through the night" is a bit of a myth, but I, too, have been up every couple hours (at least) for a year and am spent. Knowing that others are going through the same thing is a bit of a comfort, but if you're like me and feel like you're just going to "crack" sometimes, it's not enough knowing others are in the same boat. I think that while babies do wake frequently, every couple hours is too much for both mom and babe and there is a better solution.

I think babies sometimes don't know how to go back to sleep on their own, but I also think something is waking them up. So here's what I've tried, and I don't know if it will help or not =) First, it was her tummy trouble, so I went for Vega testing and found out dairy, oats, and a couple other things were no-go's for her (and me, since I'm still nursing). We tried gripe water at the same time (which I used for a couple weeks and still turn to colic tablets occasionally), and this brought down her waking times from between 8-20/night to about 5. Then we added probiotics (I LOVE BioGaia's product for infants), and this brought it down to 3-4 times/night, depending - of course - on whether she was also sick/teething.

Now I figure it's a matter of getter her to get through those waking periods. She's slightly underweight, so I never wanted to deny her milk when she wanted it, and while I don't believe in CIO or some versions of sleep training, I think teaching your baby to go back to sleep when they wake is paramount. "The No Cry Sleep Solution" is helpful (if you're not too tired to read), and I've also heard of a good one called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", which I've ordered and am waiting for. If you don't have it in you to read a book, the main things I got out of "The No Cry Sleep Solution" were: try to let your baby fall asleep on her own whenever you can, and when she wakes in the night, try soothing her with something other than the breast if you're sure she's not really hungry. Rub her tummy, pat her bum, stroke her hair, sing. This worked for my first, but not my second. My first also took a pacifier around 8 or 9 months, which helped get through this stage and she gave it up quickly (I was extremely reluctant at first, but ended up figuring my sleep and state of mind is more important, since it will make me a better mom).

Anyway, my second hasn't gone for any of these tricks, other than falling asleep on her own sometimes. BUT, what I tried the past 2 nights was putting a pillow in between us, so she doesn't smell me so much and last night she finally fell asleep at 8:15, woke at 1:30 to nurse, again at 5:30 and 6:30, then finally at 7:20. Problem was, I was so excited she slept from 1:30 to 5:30, it took me forever to go back to sleep!

So it's too early to tell if the pillow method will work out, but at least it gives me hope! I wish you the best of luck, because I know exactly how terrible you're feeling and something's gotta give!

Amanda - posted on 09/30/2010

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My 11 month old will wake up 2~3 times a night if she is with me in my bed..I have co~sleep every night since she was 3 months old until August. It had become very uncomfortable to me to have her in bed with me and I was not getting enough sleep my self. I was against cio until August. I would only let my lo cry for 10 min at a time or if it was a screaming very upset cry.. I would go and get her comfort her let her nurse and then we would go back into the crib...I did this three times by the third time she would be out and sleeping for 3 to 4 hrs and she would wake back up and of course I would get her and put her in bed with me..Now if she was not out by the third time then it was a night in bed with mommy..as the wks have gone by we are now sleeping through the night most nights...If she does wake up in the middle of the night she is usually crying I will go get her and put her back in bed with me to nurse her and comfort her...Last night she went to bed around 9p cried for about 5~ 10 min and was then out. She didn't wake till 2a I then got her and put her in bed with me so I could nurse her and comfort her. She was out till 6am woke up for a nursing session and then was back a sleep till 750a and only cause I had to take sister to school...So we are not full Co~sleeping or sleeping by herself..This however is what works for me and allows me to get some deep sleep...I dont know the correct way in nursing or getting them to sleep the night through...I really don't think doctors do either only b.c babies cant tell us what they need or want...I believe you need to do what you think is right for you and your baby...All I can do is share my experience with you..Good luck to you and I hope you get a good night sleep and soon!!

Brenda - posted on 09/30/2010

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All I can tell you is that she's normal. The idea of "sleeping through the night" is a created thing and most the time, only formula fed babies do it. Breastmilk is so digestable that they need to feed that often. Remember the breastmilk contains sleep inducing hormones and pain reducing hormones for baby, so it is not all about food. Babies do not need what we consider "a full night's sleep". They do not sleep the same cycles adults do. Our sleep cycles as adults are measured in hours, their's is measured in minutes. My son (17 months) wakes most nights to nurse 4-8 times. Some of these are food others are comfort nursing sessions. He does not take in any cow's milk either.

Babies, even those who "sleep through the night" wake many times, those that are sleep trained (via CIO usually) learn that their needs will not be met at night, so their parents thinkt hey are sleeping all night. If you really need some help, try the No Cry Sleep Solution, I suggest. But honestly, it is really normal for her to wake that often...it is a biological imperitive for our young to do so, so is the frequent nursing. Though their tummies are bigger, Breastmilk still digests in an average of half an hour. Just remember, as long as their total sleep time is enough, when they sleep is no important.

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April - posted on 10/02/2010

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my 21 month old wakes through the night (3 times on a good night, 7 on a difficult night) and i nurse him every time he wakes. i only get an hour here, 2 hours there, 30 minutes here, etc...so i know where you are coming from. he has his crib in our room, near our bed, so I don't know if that would help you get more sleep. even though he isn't actually in our bed, he still wakes and nurses.

Aleks - posted on 09/30/2010

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my 19mth old has only ever slept thru once (and that was a lucky 6 hours straight, nothing more) and I wasnt lucky enough to enjoy it cause I was looking after my 4 yo (at the time) throwing up every 2hrs while going thru a case of gastro!!!!
So I know your pain. I too have not slept thru the night in close to 20-21mths (late pregnancy toilet runs 2 times a night before lo was born...lol)!!!! So yeah.......
She sleeps with me, and does wake at least 2 time at night!!!!! I am also a perenial late night owl, which means I go to bed way too late, so I am totally sleep deprived ALL the time...he hehe.
Anyway, we too breastfeed and that is what I do nearly always to get missy back to sleep. Most of the time it has been comfort nursing, tho I am currently noticing that when she wakes up early in the morning to nurse she is actually quite hungry as she demands both breasts and she "goes for it" pretty full on....LOL I sleep thru most of it tho, just latch her on.
Sleeping with her has been the life saver!! Did not do that with my 1st born (stupid and very naive me).
Anyway, just thought to let you know that you are not the only one :-)

Marcy - posted on 09/30/2010

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I think my kiddo was a little older but we actually put his pack and play right up next to our bed. I would nurse him down at night and then put him in it. This was the only way that I got about 4 or so hours or sleep straight. Then, he would wake up, stand up, make grunting noises for me. I would pick him up, nurse him and he would sleep the rest of the night in our bed. Honestly, it wasn't until he was about 2 1/2 that he started sleeping straight through the night. We never ever did CIO. I used to get up every other hour so when I started being able to get larger chunks of good sleep even though I was still getting up every 3-4 hours I was okay with it. I did go to bed pretty early though (like 8ish) every night so that I knew I had 10 hours of potential sleep with the actual sleep being more like 6-7. My son really enjoyed the all night boob buffet right next to him and he was always a light sleeper (not anymore now I can play in a marching band right next time him with all the lights on and he sleeps straight through). I found that although I wanted him close all the time by moving him away from me a little he wasn't as pron to reach for it all the time. my son stopped nursing when he was 4 years old and has migrated back to our bed. Now I get kicked, nailed in the head with his feet and arms and this morning I woke up and he was actually laying on me with his little hands covering my face. Oh well.....

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