weaning my 3 year old

Daniela - posted on 02/26/2012

I'm so delighted things worked out so well for you, Julia! At the moment I'm tackling those last few hours in the morning, so hopefully soon I'll be getting a full nights sleep as well. Like you, both times (when I night-weaned at first and now) I just knew when the time was right and I was ready for the change. I think that makes all the difference and helps you to stick to your guns.



Anyway, thanks for posting in detail - yes I did like reading it! It's nice to know that something you posted made a difference.

Julia - posted on 02/21/2012

Thanks for your help Katherine and Daniela. We have been in the process of night weaning since I posted here. I was torn between going radical (no breast from bringing him to bed to waking up in the morning) and taking it slow by gradually leaving out feedings. The problem is that there were no "feedings" but rather one feeding from when I went to bed until the morning b/c I usually fell asleep before I could detach him from my breast ... well and if I managed to stay awake he immediately woke up and wanted to nurse again after I rolled over...

So I went radical. I prepared him a week or so before I actually started, telling him that soon we would stop the nursing in the night. And then after waking up one morning, feeling dried out and hungry and crabby and tired I decided that this was the last time.

I nursed my son after dinner in the kitchen as long as he liked and then we went to bed. He was very upset for 5mins and then I explained him, that my breasts are super tired, that they need a rest bc they have been giving him good mommy milk for 3 years and that this is a long time, and they need to prepare for the new baby (not pregnant yet, maybe bc of the all night nursing....?) and I love him so much and I will be there for him in his sadness. He had calmed down and not a single tear was flowing that night. (So, yes, it helps so much when you can talk to you child, Daniela!) We chatted (whispering and cuddling) and sang for 3 hours and he wanted me to tell him why he couldn't nurse in the night any more over and over again. Then he went potty and I thought, wow, this will be a long night, and after that he curled up and I sang one song and he had fallen asleep. Oh my god, this is so detailed, not sure if you want to hear it that explicitly! :D

Anyway, I was relieved. The following nights were more complicated, he was very upset and was trying to avoid bedtime. Which has never happened before, usually he tells us he's tired and wants to sleep.

So I do nurse him a little bit in the beginning now and then count to 10 and he stops. This works ok and it's a good solution that keeps both of us happy. Although he still doesn't want to go to bed... :( I'm feeling bad about causing him so much discomfort and pain....

But then I have been feeling so much better when waking up in the morning, it was just a very necessary change. I have the feeling he's sleeping more solid now, also very nice!

And he's nursing a lot during the day. Which I am not going to take away from him too soon. I can handle this, all I wanted back was my night sleep and my energy in the morning :-)

Thank you!

Daniela - posted on 02/16/2012

Oh, Dr. Jay Gordon has a website where he tells you how to gently night-wean your child. It worked well for us with slight modifications. You have to google it, I'm useless with links, sorry.

Daniela - posted on 02/16/2012

Why don't you night-wean him first and see how you feel once you get some more sleep? I did this when my daughter turned 2. It took a bit longer than a months, but she is sleeping sooo much better now. Still terribly restless after 4am, but that's only specific to my kid.



She is almost 2.5 years old now, and at present I'm working on not nursing in public anymore.



By the time she is 3 I'd really like to be down to wake-up and bed-time nursing only. If we manage that I think I'd be happy to let her self-wean.



As much as I like the idea of nursing on demand and letting them self-wean, at some stage it really just started wrecking my head, so I get where you are coming from (and mine is much younger than yours!).



A last word: it's not half as difficult when you can talk to them about it...



Good luck!

Katherine - posted on 02/15/2012

How often are you feeding? Slowly cut down feedings and time. Limit time and make your goal to cut down to one feeding a day. Then one every other, then none.