You play too much with our son...

Geralyn - posted on 08/19/2010

April, that's hilarious. My son counts 1 - 3 - 2 - 3 - 2.... Its too cute for words...

April - posted on 08/19/2010

my son zach is like serenity...he's 19 months and can say some numbers and letters (not in order either, i.e., 2...3..2!!!) and i agree with kayla that it is because of nursing and co-sleeping and just generally being there when he needs me!

Kayla - posted on 08/17/2010

MY first daughter serenity got my attention all the time. I played with her constantly co slept and breastfed her for a year. I now have a 2 year old who counts to 12 by her self knows her letters (not the order but hey what ever) :) and plays on her own when she wishes. She is THE most loving little girl I know - Im constantly getting complements on how loving/caring she is and I REALLY believe this is all a result of playing with her, showing her I care about how she feels too, and letting her know her opinion counts as well. :)

Taralee - posted on 08/17/2010

Breanne you are so right to embrace this time in his life and play with him. Because soon enough (too soon) it will be gone, and you will remember all the fun you had playing with him.....not how spotless your floors were, and how independant he played while you cleaned them :)

Brenda - posted on 07/21/2010

Playing with a child does not in any way cause them to be dependent, dunno what happened with previous poster, but it wasn't from being "played" with.

Children always act different when both parents are present, and often play the "want the other parent game". This is communication. They want to see that their needs and desires are important to the caregivers, and want to know that their emotional needs are validated and met by those caregivers.

I'll never understand the "play by themselves" crap. We want kids to be soo independent that we forget that somewhere they have to learn to be social creatures and learn caring, sharing and love.

Breanne - posted on 07/21/2010

My son will play on his own. Usually not when my husband is around. It's odd because when he's with me alone he's golden, my hubby alone golden, but hubby and I together, he's usually whinny and clingy (which doesn't bother me).
My son is good, when I make dinner he usually plays in his cupboard or his toys in the other room or brings his toys in the kitchen and plays on the floor. I am with Geralyn where I believe he will develop his independence when he's ready, just like weaning or sleeping in his own bed. I just feel if I don't play with him or read to him or practice our colours or numbers how is he going to learn?
Thank you for all your advice.

Karen - posted on 07/21/2010

With my 20 month old I try to have her play on her own for a couple of minutes (10mins maybe) once or twice a day. Some days she happily comes up with her own play (of course, she always wants to "show mama" - and I'm always interested in what she needs to show me), and somedays it doesn't happen. Whatever - I just follow her cues and encourage her.

Geralyn - posted on 07/21/2010

I would say that it is hard to isolate playing with your little one as the cause for why an older child cannot play or does not tlike to play independently. There could be a number of reasons or causes for this. For most children, a level of independence develops over time, as they are ready, and it could be that they are ready at different times....Little ones need stimulation - when you are "playing" with your little one, so many areas of development are being worked on - cognitive, language and communication, social skills, motor skills, etc.

My son is 27 mos., and he has times where he will play independently, but a majority of the time, he still wants me or his daddy to play with him. I would say much less to entertain him, but more for communicating with us, sharing experiences, problem-solving, mostly directed by him. I do not have any concerns about him being independent as he grows.

Cecily - posted on 07/20/2010

wow.... thats all i can say

Schmoopy - posted on 07/20/2010

Maybe your husband is a little over the top, but he has a point.

Children do need to learn to play independently. I used to play on the floor constantly with my daughter when she was a baby/toddler. Today she's 7 years old and has a very hard time playing on her own. As a result, I try to give my 14-month-old time every day to play on the floor by himself. I go about my business - folding laundry or checking email - while he plays. We each do our own "work." I hope my efforts will produce a more independent child in the long run.

Brenda - posted on 07/20/2010

My husband has gone through that crap. The machismo stuff. "Rub some dirt in it" when they get hurt....