HELP! my son is almost 2 1/2 years old and still not using words, and refuses to say the words he knows!

Randi - posted on 01/31/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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it seems as if it was just a few months ago when he was one years old and then he was walking at 9 months old and starting talking around 14 months old. but all of a sudden he stopped. he is still using baby jargon and says uh uh uh for things he wants and points to it. he has said lots of words but thats only if i make him, i wont give him what he wants until i have him say the word of what he wants, and that worked for a while but now he just gets mad and throws a fit cuz im trying to make him talk, i stayed persistent with it and he started to come around and thats when i noticed he has trouble saying to syllable words. like pancake, or thank you... how he says please is pee. he used to say pees. but now its all screwy. is this normal? i have asked so many people and my pediatrician and the people i asked said words like autism, oh he'll talk when he's ready, and boys usually start talking about three years old. but my pediatrician said that at his two year mark he should have been saying 20-40 words in his vocabulary (meaning all the time and using them in context) so now i am a little worried, i know every kid runs at their own pace and all but i find myself comparing him to other boys his age and they are all talking somewhat now! and i know i shouldnt compare because it is true every kid is different. so i also have been told that boys are slower development wise than girls. girls tend to hit the talking faster and boys tend to hit the walking and physical stuff faster. so if that is true than ok, but why is it that everyone is giving me that unwanted advice that they warn you about when your pregnant.... it just makes it worse for me. so is there something i need to be doing. well what i have been doing is trying to read to him and he gets bored with that with the first page. so everything he was interested in then, he sure isnt anymore, instead he wants to be a wild animal and learning is the last thing on his mind. we have cut he tv out quit a bit and now i just dont know what else to do but to continue to work with him and try to teach him things like hot and cold, in and out, up and down etc.... but he cant hold still long enough to actually learn. it seems as though its not fun for him so he would rather jump on the bed or act like a complete monkey, and i am sure that is normal for a two year old but how can i make learning fun for him..... oh how i need some advice please moms out there i am willing to do anything at this point!
thanks so much
Randi

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Natalie - posted on 02/04/2010

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Hi Randi,

I just had to reply to your message, my son was exactly like yours!! My son started walking at 10 months, but when it came to talking it was a whole other story. Like your son, he started to say small words (like mommy, daddy & apple) but suddenly he just stopped, he would just point at the things he wanted, he just refused to speak, the more we would push him, the more he would refuse to cooperate. Gaby had better things to do than talk. I tried reading books to him, but he would get bored after 1 page. When we refused to give him things unless he spoke the word, he would throw tantrums. I started to worry that maybe he was autistic, friends and family would say boys are slower, he will catch up, bla, bla... We decided to stop pushing him to talk and just let things happen at HIS pace. Well one day instead of saying one word, he said one small sentence "what is it?", we congratulated him for saying those words, he was very proud, but we didn't push. We kept encouraging him to say things but we tried not to get pushy or frustrated with him if he didn't. We would just congratulate him when he did say words with hugs and kisses. He now says about 75-100 words, he's 2-1/2 but he has only been speaking for about 1-1/2 months. If you're worried that your son might be autistic then you should go get him tested, but I think your story sounds a lot like my story. My son is very strong willed, he does not want to be pushed into doing things, we decided to stand back and let him feel like he was in charge and now he's doing great, we can even sit down and read books together, but he has to pick the book! When I started reading to him he wouldn't even listen, he would run around but I just keep reading the book anyway, now he sits and listens to the whole book, he likes rhyming books the best, but he need to hear the book a few times before he decides that he likes it! My advice to you is hang in there, and don't be too hard on yourself or your son, let him be a kid. I'm so tired of hearing about all the things my child SHOULD know at his age, why not let kids be kids? Does my son really have to know 6 languages by the time he's 4? there is so much pressure to make our children into little geniuses, I think it's ridiculous!! Let him act like a monkey if that's what he wants to do, tell him he's a monkey and laugh, ask him what sound a monkey makes and then act like a monkey with him! My son likes to pretend he's a frog, he hops around the house and asks me to join him, i'm a little out of shape but I try to join him, that's what great memories are made of, not how many words he knew when he was 2. Let him watch a little TV, he might learn new words from it, and it might give you some ideas for some games to play with your son.

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Deb - posted on 02/08/2010

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Doug started speaking and then stopped for a while. almost a month ago, he decided to start babbling and now it's almost impossible to stem the tide at times. it may be that your son is being quiet and taking it all in.

Melanie - posted on 02/07/2010

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Emily,

If your son had tubes, then there may have been fluid buildup that caused him to have problems hearing. This is a common cause of delayed language. Once his hearing better and with speech therapy, he should make good progress. Was his hearing ever tested?

Melanie

Emily - posted on 02/05/2010

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My son doesn't talk yet, he had two sets of tubes in his ears. Seeing a speech therapist and had gone to see a specialist for autism. I don't know what else to do either, except keep up the work it will pay off. Thats all we can do.

Melanie - posted on 02/05/2010

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Oh, I forgot to mention - Colleen calls it First Steps, but it is called different things in different states. In my state, it is called Infants and Toddlers. Your local school district should be able to direct you where to go.

Melanie - posted on 02/05/2010

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My advice would be to call your local school district and get him evaluated for speech. This is the most common developmental delay and most kids who get therapy early are fine by the time they really get to the school system.

Who knows about Autism? Autism is only present in some cases of language delay. However, if you take him for testing, speech therapists are pretty good at spotting it so they'll let you know whether he needs to be evaluated for this.

The guidelines for needing testing are 15 words by 18 months and combining words by 2 years. It sounds like your son hasn't reached the combining words yet so he probably is language delayed. It's not a death sentence, but if you ignore it, it could end up causing lots of problems down the road. Sure, he could just start talking on his own, but he might not. Language delays that aren't remediated are related to problems with learning. They can also lead to behavioral problems due to the frustration of not being able to communicate. So, get started with the testing process so you can get your son talking.

Melanie

COLLEEN - posted on 02/03/2010

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Hey there! I'm an ER nurse and have a 2 1/2 year old boy and a 1 year old boy. My 2 1/2 year old had some developmental problems like..not walking until 18 months and delayed speech. Even though he has been developing slow...he IS developing. What is concerning about your post is that your son sounds like he is regressing..which is why Autism was brought up to you. I don't know where you live but if I were in your shoes, I would have him evaluated through your state's First Steps Program. You should be able to get this information from your pediatrician or online. I would talk to them about getting him started on speech therapy and this might sound silly to you...but I would have him evaluated by an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist. Even though he is an active, crazy, 2 1/2 year old, there may be something physically wrong that is delaying his speech. I'm sure you've heard that when kids, who have frequent ear infections, get tubes put in..their speech excels. I'm not saying that's the problem but it is something to consider with an ENT along with the formation of his mouth/palate/tongue etc. Andrew would have ear infections and I wouldn't even know it. No fever, he wasn' t pulling at his ears, no drainage, no fussing...he would go in for his scheduled check-ups and there they would be, so I did have them put in and noticed a big difference. He still doesn't say 20-40 words either though, so don't worry about that. Like I said earlier..he should be making a little progress not going backwards, so you should definitely take this a step further. Let me know what happens or if you have any other questions. I hope this helps...I know this is hard but you will get it figured out.

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