How do you deal with 1 more min??? continuously given and the whiney's from almost 3 year olds?

Amanda - posted on 07/21/2010

I pretend i cant understand what she is saying, and ask her to use her normal voice. i think it becomes a habit when it works faster than asking. Its like customer service reps giving the yellers deals faster than the customers patiently waiting in line to calmly give a complaint. Answer the normal voice and request it when he uses the whiney one, and he should stop when it doesnt work anymore. Do you give him warnings when its time for something? Like ten minutes till bed time, five minutes, one minute etc. Try acknowledging how he feels "I know your disappointed, it hard to stop playing isnt it?" and it may help ease the "one more minute". Top it with a choice regarding what you need him to do "do you want me to put your shoes on, or do you want to do it by yourself, You choose!" and he may be more willing to go along. Kids this age like to feel in control of their situations, and alot of the time whine or fight because they dont feel understood, hope that helps!

Meghan - posted on 07/19/2010

Many parents wish kids would stop whining or at least not whine as much. Often parents only deal with whiny behavior by telling kids to simply "stop whining". After parents understand the reasons behind whining, they can take appropriate action steps to reduce a child's whining.



Whining is a Symptom:

Treating misbehavior symptoms is a short-term fix that doesn’t last because it doesn’t address the root cause of the whining. To discipline for whining and complaining, parents must first do some detective work and determine why a child is whining. Kids whine for a variety of reasons:



* Whining Works – Some kids whine because they don’t have a reason not to. Children will not stop whining if parents continue to allow it. Do you answer your child’s questions or requests then they whine? If so, you’re sending your kids the message that whining is an acceptable way to communicate with you.



* Whining Manipulates the Parents Emotions – Many kids learn that using strong emotions motivates their parents’ decisions. Kids whine and groan to get parents to take pity on them or to evoke parental guilt. Do you often feel sorry for your kids when they whine? Of perhaps do you feel parental guilt when your children whine about certain issues? You may be buying into your own kids’ whining without realizing it if you allow your kids’ whining to push your pity or guilt buttons.



* Poor Adult Role Modeling – Kids can’t learn to speak assertively and clearly if they don’t know what it looks like. Do you and other adults in your home model speaking to others, (including speaking to children) in ways that don’t include whining and irritating tones? If parents set a poor example for verbal communication, where will children see appropriate communication skills modeled?



* Lack of Sleep – Our culture is severely sleep deprived. Are your children getting enough rest to keep their brains alert and learning new skills? Sleep deprivation puts children’s brains in a stress mode that creates a constant state of irritability. Parents usually underestimate the amount of sleep their child requires to function at their best. Remember that 1-3 Year Olds need 12 - 14 hours per day...As your child moves past the first year toward 18-21 months of age he will likely lose his morning nap and nap only once a day. While toddlers need up to 14 hours a day of sleep, they typically get only about 10.

Most children from about 21 to 36 months of age still need one nap a day, which may range from one to three and a half hours long. They typically go to bed between 7 and 9 p.m. and wake up between 6 and 8 a.m.



If you’re not sure about the reason your own kids whine, do some silent research in the near future. Become aware of the moments when your kids whine and make some guesses as to the reasons your kids whine.



Parenting Tips to Reduce Whining



* Make a Simple Statement – When kids whine, say, “I’ll listen when you talk in a calm voice”. The most important part of this solution is follow through. Take the time to wait until you child uses a calm voice. This may take lots of repetition and practice at first.



* Help Kids Practice – Choose a time when kids aren’t whining and are calm. Have kids choose one thing they have whined about recently, then practice new calm ways to verbalize what they want to say.



* Be a Role Model – If your kids have learned whiny behavior from you, then you’ve got some practicing of your own to do. Stop and breathe before you speak or count to ten before letting words fly out in a bad tone.



* Improve Sleep Habits – Many things affect a family’s sleep habits. Determine what needs to change in your home so that everyone can get plenty of rest. Are too many children’s activities getting in the way of your family getting proper rest? Is television, video game and computer time a priority over sleep for your family? Are you overworked and don’t have the energy to follow through to enforce bedtimes and bedtime routines?



Many parents don’t realize they are actually creating or perpetuating their child’s whiny behavior. Determine the reason behind a child’s whining, then decide steps to set limits or teach new communication skills to your child. It takes at least a month to change any habit, so be patient with yourself and with your children while your work on these parenting tips to change whiny behavior.

Donna - posted on 07/16/2010

Ahhhh whining - I hate it! My first son was a master at it. I've tried a variety of things, but I think the most helpful was telling him that I couldn't hear him when he whined, only when he talked nicely. So whenever he started whining, I'd say 'what's that nasty noise I can hear?' and refuse to answer until he asked nicely. If you can be consistent with it, it does work. As for the 'one more minute', if you're willing to let him have another minute, try saying 'ok then, I'm setting the timer', set the timer for a minute and when it buzzes say 'time's up!' grab his hand and take him to whatever/wherever you wanted him to do.