Is anyone else's child going through terriable two's already??

Nadine - posted on 04/09/2009 ( 29 moms have responded )

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My little girl has already started tantrums and whining when she doesn't get her way. She doesn't respond to time outs and I don't know what to do ?

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Nichole - posted on 11/25/2011

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You are doing a great job. I teach Sunday school to 35 3-5 yr olds, and have a 20 month old. Best advice I can give is if the tantrum is at home get on his level. Actually always when communicating with your child get on their level. Don't yell it won't get you anywhere ask in a very soft voice bc they want to hear what you are saying but they can't when they are screaming. So again talk calmly and softly. Ask him what it is he really wants, "I can't understand you when you cry/wine use your words" if he still continues to scream ask him if he wants to go to timeout. After a few timeouts they will understand but keep in mind time outs are in their room for their age times two. So 6 min is the longest he should be in his room. Any longer they won't understand why they are being punished. When the 6 min is over open the door get on his level and ask him nicely "do you know why you were in time out" if he says yes ask him why. Always have them explain it back to you. Punishment should be a lesson learned, not embarrassment or torture. They are little ppl and pick up on everything and all behaviors around him. If you are out in public and it happens get on his level ask why are you crying mommy wants to make you happy but we can not get a toy right now. Still crying/tantrum don't say a word put your cart down an aisle you'll be back. Scoop him up take him to the car and have a one on one talk with him. Let him know it hurts your feelings when he acts like that. And when he behaves like that the behavior is not rewarded. Wait til he is calm and ready to try it again tell him if he really wants a toy then if he can go the rest of the week getting all stars then he can get a toy. But yellin and screaming won't do anything but makes things worse. I try to explain to parents that their little ppl are brand new and just imagine being them and having to learn a whole language in such a short amount of time. The majority of tantrums are bc they can't communicate to you what they want and they don't understand why. Always always discpline with love its the only way they can grow and understand. Good luck to you and hope this helps :)

Leana - posted on 05/20/2009

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my son does the same things and I find that when we are at home I will sorta ignore him, but still watch very closly (he is a dare devil as well). But if we are out in public and he starts to throw a fit (it is usually at the grocery store), I look straight at him and very firmly tell him that "We do NOT yell in public." The first time i did it I really didn't expect it to work as well as it did, but he just looked at me like 'wow she means business' and the tantrum stops before it even really starts.

Michele - posted on 05/19/2009

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Omg. Yes my daughter does tantrums and throws herself on the floor and then when I try to pick her up she fights with me lol. She does the whining too. It is embarassing when she did it to me at the store. I had to leave the store I was so stressed out.

Mene - posted on 05/17/2009

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Oh same with my daughter and she isn't even 2 yet. Its crazy. She always tells us no and tries to hit people. I have 2 older boys and they were never like that at her age. It drives me nuts!!!! Girls are worse than boys in this area I think.

Skye - posted on 05/14/2009

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my daughter is also the same. She yells back when I tell her off even though its not in english haha, she also likes to climb on everything and chucks a wammy when I dont give her what she wants when she wants it. I find when she is doing something naughty If I ask her nicely and tell her that she will fall or hurt herself she listens. and I distract her when she wants something with something else. Like where is the cat or whats on tv. It just gives me some time to finish wht I'm doing and then get to her.

I find yelling only gets you both frustrated but you just have to ty and see what works for you.

User - posted on 05/13/2009

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The hardest time we have with my daughter is transitions; leaving the park today was a nightmare, with her screaming and crying all the way to the car, even arching her back and refusing to be buckled into the carseat! I just try to remain calm, trying to put her emotion into words, such as "I know you want to stay and play, but it's time to go." I've tried giving her a count down, but she doesn't seem to understand passage of time, like a minute.

Erica - posted on 05/08/2009

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My son is 21 mos. whining crying when he dosn't get his way. He will look at you and act lilke he dosn't hear you. It just started about two weeks ago. Still trying to find something that works for him. I can't walk away from most of it because I think he may get hurt. Jumping on the couch, hitting the dog, dumping out the dog food and water. We found our small dog sitting in the corner the other day just taking the beatting. It was sad I felt bad for the dog, Thank God we have a good dog. He has never tryed to bite.

I have found most of the time he is tired when he has his meltdowns. A good nap or just some time in his crib will (most of the time) make him feel better.

But my sister had him last Friday and not one problem he was the perfect child. (whatever)

GOOD LUCK TO ALL!!!!!!

Kate - posted on 05/08/2009

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My little girl is also going through this stage. feel she is a bit young to get the whole concept of time out but do find giving a firm "no" and withdrawing all attention will eventually bring her out of it. Not easy I know. Just keep telling myself it will pass and some fighting spirit will do her good in the future!

Natalia - posted on 04/30/2009

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My daughter is exactly the same if not worse. She stomps her feet, yells, and grizzles and has recently taken to squealing. It drives me crazy. Time out doesn't seem to phase her but it's more that it gives me a chance to calm down and work out how to deal with it. She gets a minute in her bedroom and when she comes out I give her a cuddle and explain why I put her in there and that if she does it again she will need to go back.

She seems to understand and sometimes if she's doing something she's not allowed to do I'll say "do you want to go to your bedroom" and she'll turn around and say no and find something else to do.

The chair never worked because it became an even bigger argument to get her to stay there.

I don't know if this is at all what you wanted to know.

Shayla is a very strong-willed and determined child and I have a feeling it's not going to get any easier but the best thing I've found is to talk to her, when she's calmed down obviously, and don't treat her like she's to young to know any better.

Stephanie - posted on 04/25/2009

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My son is the same way. Along with all the yelling and screaming i'm getting No Mommy! I'm amazed at only 20 months he know how to push every button I have. We have been trying very hard to do the time-out thing. That is a hit or miss.

Alana - posted on 04/24/2009

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yes my son is the exact same tell him no and hell just keep doing it but i have found ignoring him works but u have to have a llot of patence to listen to the screaming lol

Diane - posted on 04/23/2009

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Oh yes, both my girls went through their terrible two's during their second year of life..I believe this is the hardest stage..Don't worry, once they turn two, they get so much better! I think it's because they start to communicate better.

Bronwyn - posted on 04/23/2009

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Yep we are there!

I have found "go to your room" quite effective, as by the time she gets there she forgets the whole tantrum. However once the time out is over so is the discussion, infact it is not talked about after time out even if she wants to.

Removing the reason for the tantrum may make it worse but she is learning that when she starts the tantrum the object or situation is removed and all tantrums are ignored.

Carra - posted on 04/22/2009

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Oh boy do I know how hard this is!! Thankfully I am not alone. LOL. Hoping this will just be a phase, but I try not to get angry or let him see that it is bothering me. I remain firm in my demands like saying "I'm sorry I cannot let you do that" or "I don't want to see you do that" Most of the time I realize it's a plea for attention so I tell him that he needs to calm down and once he's done with his tantrum that we can go play blocks or something. On more than one day I have asked God to give me strength!!

Beverly - posted on 04/22/2009

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Yes, my son has started already too!! Try compromising...get her attention focused on something else that she can have or do...but the important thing is not to let it get to you when she pitches those fits...just be stern and tell her No....I tell my son..I'm sorry that makes you unhappy but moma says no...then I just turn my attention to something else and try not to focus on his tantrum....he is now much better and the fits are fewer and far between...Good Luck and I hope I helped.

Jamie - posted on 04/22/2009

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yup my little boy is the same way!! he stomps his feet and yells NO NO NO when he doesn't get his way!

Teresa - posted on 04/21/2009

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Dont my son is just terrible he screams throws himself around doesnt listen to anything at the end of my teather

Kimberley - posted on 04/20/2009

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Our son is 20 months old.. and he's starting the "terrible two" attributes already...

he has also the "no fear" side of it - meaning if I say to "sit on your butt" - he'll stand up and still attempt to jump off of things and my heart just jumps and thankfully I've caught him but it scares the life out of me!!!

Claire - posted on 04/17/2009

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karren is right my son is 19 mths and he tantrums when he don't get his own way head butting furneture floor and smacking throwing his dummy etc i walk away and it seems to work

Alaina Ganote - posted on 04/17/2009

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This is always a hard thing to figure out. My three year old could care less about spankings and timeouts... My 20 month old is very sensative to spankings and time outs. The best advice I can give you is just to hang in there and pick your battles wisely! Every child is different and it's just figuring out what's best for that child in that situation. My daughter recently started telling me "NO" to everything and when she doesn't get her way she frowns, crosses her arms and walks off! I find it hard at times to not burst into laughter (at times it can be pretty funny!) but I've found being constant with my rules are the best thing for her.

Randi - posted on 04/16/2009

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Oh I can relate alswell. My daughter hit the tantrum stage about a month and half ago, if she doesn't get to do what she wants its a throw herself back and hit the floor screaming and freaking out. I have tried time outs, and I think they are slowly working, but she sits there eventually but once she is off she goes and does it again. theres biting, pushing, hitting, squealing...its crazy, my hope is that is passes eventually.

Letitia - posted on 04/14/2009

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my son connor has hit terrible two's about 3 weeks ago and i can sympathise. he pushes other kids down, hangs of my legs all the time and has this whingy sort of laugh cry till you give him what he wants. i have also tried time out to no avail. if i say connor no he puts his head on the floor giving me a foul stare.

Heather - posted on 04/13/2009

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my son is the same throwing more and more tantrums, more screaming and crying and throughing himself on the ground. He is such a dare devil climbing on everything he falls and gets back up and does it again!

Delia - posted on 04/13/2009

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My daughter is the same. I just thought that it was because she was jealous of her little brother, but I dont think so anymore. It drives me crazy when she whines or squeels because she's not getting her way or doesnt like what i say. Her new thing is now when she gets mad she starts screaming LOUD and throws herself to the floor HARD. She is also starting to point her finger at us and whatever it is that shes saying, I dont think its anything nice, lol.

Natasha - posted on 04/11/2009

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throw one back! or toatally ignore her. just try a few things until you get it right. it took me about 3 weeks and time outs lasting about 20 minutes each to get him to sit in one spot. he even tried covering his eyes with his hands like he was playin boo and walking away with his face covered!!!!! oooorrrr take something else away if time out isnt appropriate at the time. they are not to young for that!!!

Jessica - posted on 04/09/2009

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LOL. My son is the same way. I am glad to know I am not the only one with a child who does not care about time outs and being yelled at. He is not scared of anything and he does things on purpose even when i tell him no he will look at me and still do it.

[deleted account]

My son is the same way. A lot of yelling, stomping of feet, etc when he doesn't get his way. I found that ignoring him used to work and now it's a plea for attention. If I focus more on him then it happens less. I still have to say no and he doesn't like it, but the tantrums have subsided a bit. Hope this passes soon!

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