my three year old makes huge messes!!!

Lindsey - posted on 10/01/2012

I know this is an old thread but after the morning we've had here....I went looking for some advice and here I am. My daughter is almost 3. She's been acting this way since she was about 18 months. She talked and walked early, and I think she just ended up becoming very bored with things, if that makes sense. Her Daddy was the type to take apart things as well but not this young. She wants to dismantle everything...to see how it works. But she also purposefully does things that we have been over and over and over ---today it was the diaper ointment all over the body that was stored in a bag, in a cabinet with a child lock on it. (my cabinet hardware is odd and no locks were perfectly for me.) I totally get it - everyone is thinking, well how long did you leave her alone to do that. Just a bathroom break...that's all. LOL!



It really doesn't take her long to find something to get into and her little mind never gives red flags. She gets right into trouble despite there being great conversations about WHY we don't do those things. privileges taken away, nap time early, time out, and yes, even yelling and the occasional swat on the behind. I thought for a time that the problem was that I wasn't making my voice firm enough. Nope. I thought we should do rewards, charts, etc. At this point I feel like I have her SO confused on what will happen if she does these things that she does them just to see what will happen!! It's very frustrating but worse, I'm just plain worried! Nothing stops her. I keep our medicines in a very high closet in rubbermaid bins that are difficult to open and I keep a doorknob lock on the handle. She's already figured out how to bust open the doorknob handles...so we are one step away from her getting a chair and reaching the top shelves. ?????I mean.....really!?



And yes, similar to you, she is a sweet girl. She just somehow isn't feeling satisfied. All that despite me having a LOAD of age appropriate toys that I rotate around (so as to create excitement over new stuff - yah!) and lots of guided toys that are put up like Playdoh, paints, puzzles of all kinds, mind stuff, even board games that she enjoys playing with on her own sometimes. Problem is, none of her regular toys phase her anymore. She doesn't want to play in the playroom with all her stuff she doesnt even want to bring it into our family room and play it. And when I pull out one of these guided toys, it lasts for MAYBE half hour of our day. I try hard to just keep those activities rolling during the day so she feels busy, but she eventually just gets sick of it and is ready to quit doing anything independently. She wants to cut up, or hang on my leg and whine.



She does nap - a 2 - 3 hour nap each day. She goes to bed around 8:30 every night. By all accounts her sleep seems fine ...she's just, an active child. She would prefer a daily trip to the park to run for 3 hours...which unfortunately we can't do every day.



The ONLY thing that has EVER worked with her , is to have NEW activities for her. Thank goodness for pinterest. The new activities have to be of a higher level - for example I got a whole 2 hours out of her playing with dry beans and plastic solo cups. It was messy - but I was glad to have some time to get a few things done!! She likes playing in water - so I am going to start letting her play in the laundry room dump sink with some pots of water. She needs like "the next level" thing to do. That's super challenging to keep up with but it does cut down on the crazy messes and broken things. I do also try to leave the house at least once a day for her to "get out" because it seems to help...even if it's not a playground. We do the mall when it rains - she enjoys that little toddler play area or walking trails etc. Anything to burn energy up.

I also have her in a gymnastics class and she will play soccer in the spring so that she can have that time more regularly. She looks forward to those things.



Hope that helps a little to anyone else checking this thread out!



I know this was from almost 2 years ago so I'd love to know how it's going now for you!! haha. Something to look forward to perhaps!?

Kaitlin - posted on 02/18/2011

I understand your frustration. My daughter frustrates me when she makes her messes. And she is also a sweet little girl. If you think it is ADHD, it very well might be. Now that I'm thinking about it, it almost sounds like it. Maybe ask her doctor about it. My kids have screaming compitions to see who can scream the loudest sometimes. Luckily the youngest is only 4 months old so he can't scream quite as loud yet. haha.

Jessica - posted on 02/18/2011

my daughter probably has ADHD. her dad does and so does her older half sister. she is really sweet and sensitive otherwise. i enjoy her a lot other then the messes. she is very sweet and caring and is very nice to her sisters. i don't yell that often, but i have tried it... it didn't work, so i quit doing it. it just is frustrating. sometimes i think the baby and her are in a competition to see how many messes they can make during the day! i timed it once, and usually what ever i clean, they undo in under 20 minutes, no matter what it is.

Kaitlin - posted on 02/17/2011

hmmm...my 3 year old only dumps out her toys and dumps out her cherrios but I make her clean up her messes when she makes them. So you can try making her clean up her mess as well as she can clean it. If you're consitent with it she will learn that if she makes a mess then she has to clean it and wont make as many messes. It will take some time just warning you. Also, I wouldn't yell at her. It wont help any and might make things worse...trust me. Try more of a stern talk and show that you are not angry. Just let her know that you are serious and that the messes she makes is not good. You could also talk to her doctor about it and see what they say. It might be something she can't control. You never know. Well, I hope this helps. Good luck!

Emma - posted on 01/21/2011

Sounds really farmilliar. Only my son doesnt spill he dismantles stuff. I put it down to curuiosity.The funny thing is i dont know what u can do but i used to make him pick up after himself. Clean her mess for herself and then get her busy always doing something. Wont solve much but will slow down on the chaos.
I hope this helps. Crossing my fingers for u.