anyone else have trouble with there 20 month old not sleeping in there own bed?

Melissa - posted on 04/19/2010 ( 67 moms have responded )

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im having trouble with my 20 month old daughter...she wont sleep in her own bed!!! when she falls asleep we put her in it and as soon as she gets in it sahe wakes up and starts screaaming until we put her in with us

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Eva - posted on 04/24/2010

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we bed-share so we don't have to worry about that. Both kids ( and hubby of course) sleep with me. we are in no rush to get them out of our bed.

Stephanie - posted on 04/24/2010

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i had trouble with my 20month old son , he was waking up everytime i put him down but i started puting him in bed early an doing the same things b4 i put him to bed like giving a bath saying bedtime now give kiss then puting him down an leaving a little light on , i hope it helps an you get ur own bed back

Andrea - posted on 04/24/2010

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i have 20 month old twins. my boys sleep in there cots and go to bed every night at between 8-8:30 and are fantastic sleepers. its all about routine. if they wake up in the middle of the night, let them go for a little while. yelling is not always a bad thing, it teaches them to self settle and you will find after a while it will become less and less... another thing to remember is that when us mums have had a good nights sleep we are better mums the next day too so your kids benefit from that also.

Crystal - posted on 04/23/2010

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I co-slept with my daughter until she was 18 months. Is wasn't planned but ended up working that way. Finally one night I was tired of fighting her for 45 minutes to go to sleep in our bed. I ended up bringing up the pack n play and putting in there since she crawled out of the crib once. It took literally 3 nights to cry it out and now she goes to sleep on her own. The first night is was about an hour of going in and checking on her and then by the 3rd night she just whined. If I try to put her in her crib she would cry and asks for the pack n play now. Not the ideal play to sleep but she still fights and loves it so we dont complain. You might want to cry the cry it out one night. But you have to put her in there before she's a sleep. Do a bed time routine and try it. Worked for us.

Cheryl - posted on 04/23/2010

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It's not a big deal in my family. We believe in having the children sleep with us for the first years until they are comfortable in their own beds. Actually crying it out has shown to increase stress hormones in children and their neurological development is strengthened by having proprioceptive feed back from mommies or daddies body in the middle of the night. I wouldn't do it any other way. My 5 1/2 year old sleeps through the night and mostly in his own bed...soon they will be on their own. Cherish the time.

Alison - posted on 04/23/2010

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when this topic came up I am in same way as some of ur children r my daughter will fall asleep but half way though the nite she awakes up screaming and my husband brings her to our bed the last few nites she has getting up 1am and at 4am my husband and I r lacking in sleep we have tried a few things like pretend that we r sleeping on her floor it works sometimes ( thanks to supernanny on this one ) my oldest was never like this at all there is a huge difference between them. A friend of mine told me that could be nite terrors I am hope tonight is better than last nite .

Theresa - posted on 04/22/2010

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I completely understand also my 20 month old daughter will not stay asleep in her bed.... i get her to sleep put her in it and 2 hrs later she is screaming her head off... she will not fall asleep on her own in her bed.... i completely understand not being able to handle the screaming cause i cant either.... i also have a 4 month old son so that makes it a little harder cause when she screams he wakes up... but i completely understand i need advice too....

Kasandra - posted on 04/22/2010

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I can't offer any help bc I need the advice too! My son is also 20 months and he will go to sleep in his bed but he wakes up 1-3 times a night. Some nights I can rock him back to sleep then put him in his bed, But most nights he just will not go back to sleep unless he is with me on the couch and if I get him asleep after a few hrs, I try to put him back in bed and he starts screaming and absolutely WILL NOT stop! I just don't know what to do either! Please help all of us sleep deprived mothers if you can!

Tina - posted on 04/22/2010

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Melissa- It's time to "man" up! (For lack of better words)

When you say she starts screaming and won't give up until you take her to your bed...are you afraid she will throw up? Are you afraid she will wake the neighbors or do you secretly like having her in bed with you? (As a working mom I often wish my LO would actually sleep and cuddle with me :) )



Your path forward: Talk to her- get her excited about sleeping in her own bed...maybe let he pick out fuzzy sheets that keep the warmth AND tell her that she is a big girl and YOU KNOW she can do it! (When my daughter slept through the night - after poor training on my part- I told her how proud she was making me...and guess what- she now only wakes for a very stuffy nose or bad toothache....)



Get her involved...make the process fun- nobody wants to sleep in a cold bed...make it comfy and cozy for her...bubbles...books whatever it takes. She's a big girl and you should foster her independence. Good Luck to you- I KNOW BOTH OF YOU CAN DO IT...(and yes the first night will likely suck- so get an egg timer and force yourself to let her cry for 10 minutes before you go in and re-inforce that she is a big girl and it's time to sleep- alone...or with a Teddy...Tell her you love her and will see her int he morning...leave the room...set the timer and sit on the front steps if needed ( i spent a bit of time there :( )

- Oh and after the first night she never cried longer than 7 minutes...after 4 nights she just talked herself to sleep-

Heather - posted on 04/22/2010

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I'm having the same issue and we've tried a bedtime routine which isn't working. My son goes to bed anywhere from 8 to 10 at night. I can't stand his screaming which is why I normally give in and pick him up. He's still in his crib with his blanket and has a music box. Can anyone offer any advice. I can't handle the screaming.

Gillian - posted on 04/22/2010

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my son goes to sleep in his own bed, but 9 times out of 10 he ends up in my bed sometime in the early hours. i do leave him there only for the simple fact if i put him back into his own bed he will get up and come back into mine or wake his brother up which is not a good combination at that time of the morning. i feel that he just needs that little more reassurance and that in time he will stay in his own bed, i just think there is more to life than fighting a losing battle and being tired the next day

Aundria - posted on 04/22/2010

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I found you just have to be firm, put him/her to bed and and tell them its bedtime and let her/him fall asleep on there own, it will take some time but it does work, and a routine on this does help for sure, My 20 mth old has a bed time of 8pm and i keep it that way she may cry at times but she has a great rountine and sleeps well

Amanda - posted on 04/22/2010

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im having the same problem with my 20 mo old son! since like 12 months old, :(

Megan - posted on 04/21/2010

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I have the same problem with my 18 month old. I usually lay with him in his room until he falls asleep, but he usually makes his way back to our room in the early morning, so I'm probably not much help, but just wanted to let you know, i feel your pain!!

Patrice - posted on 04/19/2010

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You could try putting her in her bed before she goes to sleep, with a favorite toy/stuffed animal. She will most likely cry but let her cry for a few minutes then pick her up. You may go through this cycle for some time because if you are like me, hearing your child cry is unnerving. I also put a toy that plays "night time" music in her bed. It will take time, but you have to wait it out. It took my daughter about a 2 weeks to get out of my bed. It took even longer to get her to fall asleep on her own :( Honestly having a solid bedtime routine helped.

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