Bedtime problems

Gaynor - posted on 02/05/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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my 17mnth old son will not sleep on a night until he is absolutley exhausted. he wont give up the bedtime bottle which i dont mind too much as its the only time he drinks milk, but i need more sleep and he is starting to look like hes got black eyes constanly and i get funny looks in the street!! iv tried controlled crying and gradual retreat but these only work for a few weeks and then all of a sudden he stops sleeping again and im loath to do either of these again tbh as they just dont work full time. my brother is now living with us part time which doesnt help but i live in a 2 bed house and cant put my brother on the couch as hes too long for it so he has to sleep in my sons room. please help!

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Catheryne - posted on 02/09/2010

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sorry, i didn't read all the way down. You sound like you have a good action plan for bedtime so maybe you need to cut it back a little. Instead of all the stimulation of massage you could just cuddle with a book then say bed time....

Catheryne - posted on 02/09/2010

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The 4 B's *Bath, *Bottle, *Book, *Bed. every night!!!!! It is all about repetition!! Take a breather and step back, you are doing a good job!! But baby needs to know what is going on. If you need to shorten his afternoon sleep if he is still having one and let him wear out a little more but try not to let him over stimulate himself. So a nice walk or a cuddle with teddy and book may help calm him down. Goodluck.

Gaynor - posted on 02/07/2010

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and even with a bad hip i am up and down off the floor all day playing with him and taking him to the park etc. i dont stop unless hes in bed which is the only time i have for cleaning so dont stop then either.

Gaynor - posted on 02/07/2010

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i do have a strict bedtime routine with him. at 6:30pm he has a bath with lavender in, then we rub him down with a bit of lavender scented baby lotion, then lay him down whilst we read a book to him and he drinks his milk. we then leave the room. this usually takes us to around 7pm/ he doesntcry or scream he just plays in his cot, even though we dont give him toys, for hours and hours. he will occasionally sleep through, when hes too exhausted to wake up. i put him down for a nap at 11am and wake him up at 1pm and dont go out until after this time. he has night lights, wev tried holding him gently, rocking, bouncing, stroking his head, and once its 6;30pm we dont play we talk quietly, and hum and sing gentle songs to him. he sometimes goes to sleep staright away to wake up as soon as anyone walks up the stairs which arent noisy or creaky! we dont get him out of his bed when he wakes up either, we go lay him back down, if he has a temp we strip him down and give him a spoon of calpol wait for it to go down and put light clothes on him and leave. sometimes he just wants milk but mostof the times he wants to play with daddy. thats a good idea about the cd to block my brothers noise and i shall try that. im sorry if i sound a bit curt, iv only just got him back to sleep after a dad of crying and temper tantrums due to him teething and not getting his own way.

Dany - posted on 02/06/2010

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I totally had your problem for weeks. I would try to lay my son down and give him a bottle and leave the room, but he ended up crying for hours until finally I let him get out of his crib and held him, but I would start the process at 8pm and he wouldn't go to bed until midnight. He would then promptly wake up at 7am.

Recently what I have noticed is he starts to yawn around 11am. I was putting him to naps at 2pm because I thought that would be a good time. I would lay him down for a nap at 2 and he wouldn't wake up until about 4, and thats why he was having trouble going to sleep at night, because he was sleeping to late in the day.

Try to put your little one down around 11am before they have their lunch, because their blood sugar will be a little low, which will make them feel tired. Always wake them up after an hour and a half to two hours and you should start seeing them go to sleep sooner and easier.

If that doesn't help I would give your baby a bath, make sure they are warm and snuggly, and just lay with them. Sing to them, rock them, my son likes to be bounced for some reason, caress their hair, and eventually you will see them drift to sleep.

Let me know if that helps! Good luck.

Casey - posted on 02/06/2010

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Routine is the best thing you can do and don't forget that sleep promotes sleep so you need to make sure he is sleeping during the day as well as at night becuase if he is not sleeping during the day then you'll have problems at night. My 17 month old son wakes up at 8am goes for a sleep at 12pm wakes at 3pm and goes to bed for the night at 8pm and this works great for us. I'm really firm on Dylans routine and try very very hard not to break it so if I have to go out at all it's always in between his sleeps and while he is up in the morning and afternoon keep him busy and active, make sure he is playing outside or dancing to music or playing with toys, you need to wear him out in between his sleeps, also make sure he is having plenty to eat of a night time (which can be hard as evening times are usually busy times of the day) but if he is full then he won't be waking up cause he is hungry. Try bathing him everynight before bed and put a couple of drops of lavender oil in the bath too, don't let him run around or play to much before bed time as that will just wind him up again and when you put him to bed give him his bottle and then when he is finished it walk out if he keeps getting up then just keep laying him back down but don't talk to him or look at him and if your brother is sleeping in his room this might disturb your son because he knows that someone else is there so to drown out any noises your brother makes during the night buy a cheap small cd player and a cd with lullabies on it and play it softly during the night, we live on a busy road which is quite noisy at night so I let dylans cd play all night and it keeps him asleep cause it blocks out all the other noises. Also keep an eye on your son and watch for him to start rubbing his eyes or yawning if he does this then he is well and truely ready for bed, there is a fine line between tired and over tired and once they are overtired then you have to wait for them to be exhausted before you have any luck getting them to sleep. Goodluck.

Sara - posted on 02/06/2010

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Has he ever slept through the night, or is it just a recent thing? A bedtime routine is really really important with helping them train themselves to got to sleep. Lots of people do bath, bed, book. You could also try massaging your toddler to help him relax.

We only give baths a few times a week, so we set the stage, doing a soft light while we get ready for bed: diaper, jammies, book, turn on fan (for white noise), turn off light, and we rock for a while before putting her in bed. We also found (months ago) we were actually trying to put her to bed too late... and found she slept better when we put her down earlier. She generally now sleeps from 7:30 pm to 6:30 am. We start bedtime at 7.

Whatever you process you choose... stick to it. Toddlers need routine to help them feel secure. Talk him through it if it helps: Mommy's going to change your diaper, then put on your pajamas. Then you can have your milk while we read a book, and then you go to bed!

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