biting

Laura - posted on 06/22/2010 ( 20 moms have responded )

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I have a 22 month old who bites, he does so when he is over excited and angry. For the most part he had stopped, but today he bit a little boy at day care, and I am devastated. This is the first time he has ever bit another child, and he left a mark on the little ones back. How do you conquer this aggression. He also like to hit when things aren't going his way. My sitter and I are pretty consistent and tell him "NO, we don't hit/bite! It hurts, and then to time out!" but it doesn't seem to be working. I don't want him doing this, and I don't want him hurting other children. I know that this is completely normal toddler behavior, but I would really like for it to stop. Any suggestions........aside from biting him back! I don't believe in that!

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Jill - posted on 07/10/2010

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I know you may be a little bit frustrated, but my first son use to bite. Has he had an evaluation or assessment. My son had to get speech theraphy, and OT. When my son was born he could hear in his ears well. He had to get the tubes and so forth. It took him some time to stop biting and almost got kicked out of the day care center. lol. I learned from my experiences through my parenting with my young children. This is no quick tactic to stop the biting right away. It is going to take ongoing intervening each time your child bites to let your child know to stop the biting. I hope this sincere parenting skill and experience helps and maybe not because each child is different and parent. This worked for my son and he eventually stop biting.

Laura - posted on 07/10/2010

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Thank you for the very kind reply. I have gotten a few back, and some times I just wonder where some people are? Unfortunately he bit again this week, it just breaks my heart, as I don't want him hurting other children, but yet I feel as though there is little I can do, as he is at the sitters when it happens. He does try when he is mad at home to bite. but he hasn't been successful. I just continue with the "No, we don't bite!" and then time out. But she (my sitter needs to do the same there. The frustrating part is that it happens when she is not in the room, usually when she is preparing lunch for all the children. my little guy is just spent at that time, and really needs to be watched, as he is just barely making it till his afternoon nap. He is tired and done, at this time of day. Hard being a working mom, and having someone else with your child!

Liz - posted on 07/09/2010

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I know this is a bit late, but I just saw your post and really feel for you. As a Preschool/Nursery teacher I have seen this so many times, and it really is devastating for a mum to think that their darling baby is nibbling other children. It truly is a stage, and it is just luck of the draw whether your child will or will not do this, they are not bullies at all. Think about how good biting must feel when you're frustrated! I think you're doing a great job with talking it through with him, although I did find with my toddler when he wanted to hit, I told him that he was allowed to hit the cushion, but not people. That way he was allowed to vent his intense feelings physically (and toddlers HAVE intense feelings!) but in a way that was safe for others. I had to remind him at times because he forgot, but it wasn't banned, it just had some rules that went with it. He quite quickly moved through this stage as his language caught up; it just can be a bit frustrating for them sometimes when they can't express themselves effectively. Hang in there, I'm sure he's a beautiful boy!

Laura - posted on 07/06/2010

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I will not bite back! Just not the right solution as far as I am concerned started using the time out but in the corner, seems to be working........but lord knows, what works today, will not tomorrow. Patience I say......and red wine!lol

Jill - posted on 07/05/2010

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I like your post Pamela it was well said. He bites because he don't know how to solve his problems or don't have the words. You will need to watch him more closely to help give him the words and help him solve his problems so he won't use the biting. I agree with Pamela to not bite him back and use time out versus teaching him a lesson

Tiffany - posted on 07/05/2010

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My daughter has bitten us a couple of times. I just bit hurt back, not hard but so she would know how it felt. She has for the most part stopped. However, sometimes she will bite herself when she doesn't get her way. The other thing is when she occasionally bites me, she does it more to play now and then she puts her finger in my mouth and says No bite. So she knows she isn't supposed to bite. and when she does bite it isnt very hard at all now b/c to her she is playing. I still tell her we don't bite. She does hit though and she gets time out for that. One day she was in time out 3 times within a few hours for hitting. She didn't hit the rest of the day. Now she really only hits when she doesn't get her way and she is either in a bad mood or tired.

Michelle - posted on 07/05/2010

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i have a 23 month old girl...she bites herself and her older brother when things dont go her way....she also likes to bit his toes too for some reason!? she will go up to him and just start bitting...i keep on telling her NO and just reacently i have been putting her in time out...not sure of what else to do!?

Jill - posted on 07/04/2010

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biting usually occurs when a child do not know how to express themselves verbally of course or even at all. As parents we have to teach them techniques to resolve issues in a less aggressive manner.

Grace - posted on 07/04/2010

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Hi Laura, I also have a biting toddler and like you I have tried everything!!! the only thing I can do now is wait until he grows out of it and I have to constantly watch him when he is with other children. He has shown a lot more aggression then his elder brother at the same age, despite being a very calm baby...this beahviour developed around 15mths with him and I am also clueless as to what to do....hope someone can help us...it's a little nerve racking at times!

Pamela - posted on 07/04/2010

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do you think he would bite himself? i've never heard of that, that is an interesting thought.

Meredith - posted on 07/04/2010

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I am having the same problem, although luckily he just bites my husband and I when he doesn't get his way. He hasn't bitten anyone else, but I fear that if I don't correct this problem now, he will. I would also like any advice you can give. I also don't believe in biting him back. However, I did hear that we are supposed to take his hand and have him bite himself using his own teeth--not hard, but just so he will know how it feels. What do you think of that idea??

Emmalee - posted on 07/03/2010

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my daughter has decided to only bite her cousin. She bites so hard that she draws blood and leaves welts. Ive tried to bite back, time out pulling her head back as shes biting but nothing is working. He is the only one she bites but I want it to stop too!! i dont know what else to do!!

Tiffany - posted on 07/02/2010

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I haven't had a problem with my little one bitting..But I've heard that by telling them NO all the time is going to make them think that it's just a "normal" word to say. Trying telling him 'IF you bite me, you'll get a time out"..Try the IF word.. I've tried the IF word with my little girl and she does alot better with it than the NO.. Hopefully everything works out!!

Tamisha - posted on 07/01/2010

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my son does the same thing when he is mad then that is when he starts biting i hope he will get pass that. i really dont want him growing up like that is ok to do that

Angie - posted on 07/01/2010

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you should never bite your child back. Teaching him that violence should be dealt with violence is so wrong!!! come on people, can't you deal with a two year old better than that!!!

Renae - posted on 06/30/2010

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ive had it with both my 2 wif both i bit back but when that didnt work it sounds bad and my doc told me to do it you just push there head 4ward a lil why they are bitting it hurts them a lil and they tend to stop

Nichola - posted on 06/30/2010

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i have a 22months old son who does exactly the same he was forever biting his older brother. i have started putting him on the step for 2minutes with an egg timer and he doesnt come off until the buzzer rings. if he does come off he is straight back in and the timer is reset. he can then only come off if he says sorry if not he has another 2 minutes. it does sound harsh for a youngster i know but it is working really well he has calmed down with his biting alot and if he looks like hes going to bite i say do you want to go on the step and hew quickly stops and goes and does something else. i also carry it out when we go to friends houses and play centers which is awful doing as a mum but they need to get the message it isnt going to be tolerated anywhere.i was abit pesimistic when i first did it thinking he was abit to young to get it but he fully understands i always give him a reason for going on the step aswell just so they know that biting isnt ok and it hurts people and so on and so on.
i hope this helps its worked an absolute treat here just remember to be firm and not back down i know my son even though hes not 2 yet he certainly knows where the cracks are if you let it go once he will certainly push it for a second time

Nichola - posted on 06/30/2010

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i have the same problem with my son who is also 22months he bites his older brother quite alot when he doesnt get his own way or is tired or abit mardy. i have started putting him straight on the step and leaving an egg timer for two minutes so he knows he can come off when it rings IF HE SAYS SORRY if he doesnt he has another 2minutes and so on and so on. it sounds abit harsh but its doing the trick. i walk away and leave him there and if he gets up i sit him back down and restart the timer. it was hard at first but he fully gets it now and the biting is calming down now if he looks like hes going to bite i shout do you want to go on the step and hes straight away from him. i hope this helps.

Pamela - posted on 06/29/2010

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my suggestion is not to bite back, if you are biting him because you are mad that he is biting, you might be more rough then you would be intentionally. I had a friend who's son was a biter, he was vicious. he bit the neighbours daughter one day and left welts on the girls arm, the next time the neighbour was watching him she saw him go to bite his brother and bit him, hard! she left bruises on the two year olds arm. Later it was discovered that he was autistic and the act of biting him back taught him more to dislike the neighbour then not to bite others. you need to be swift in your actions, you see him about to bite or biting, remove him from the situation quickly and swiftly, speak in a firm voice and put him somewhere ALONE and away from the situation. like in his crib (with no toys), stroller facing a wall, or high chair in the corner. make his "world end" when he starts biting, be consistant. reward him when he uses words or gentle hands to solve his problems. he will want the praise and start to associate it with the behaviour.

I hope these suggestions help! he will eventually grow out of this stage! :)

Shelly - posted on 06/23/2010

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My son bit a lot, and really the only way we broke him of it was to bite him back. He didnt understand how it felt till it happened to him. As far as the hitting we put him in time out and he calms down and every once and a while he will hit something and it will hurt him so he wont do it for a while. Why dont you believe in biting him back? See i didnt till my grandma told me thats about the only way to break him of it. He doesn't understand that it hurts other people till it happens to him so....

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