Family complaining about attachment parenting

Camille - posted on 01/15/2009

My daughter never cries unless she is in pain. I don't think there is any reason for that. I hold her or wear her in a sling 24/7. She sleeps in our bed. And breast feeds every 2-5 hours (except breakfast and dinner)
Tell them its your baby and you'll let her know that you love her. Babies don't understand that you'll come back when they can't see you.

I don't understand people that don't want to hold their babies.

Sonja - posted on 01/15/2009

It sounds like you are a great parent. I have three daughters, and the first two are teenager, and one is four months. I attachment parented my first two, much to many family members dismay, and they are so confident and grew up never afraid of anything, I am also attachment parenting my daughter Sophia. I know it's hard to ignore the people around you and how they think they know it all. You can never spoil a baby, the cries as you know are his/her way of telling you she needs something.



When it comes to dealing with people that tell you to just let her cry it out, tell them that you and your husband do not believe in that way of parenting.

Samantha - posted on 01/15/2009

Thanks for all the great advice. I think I'm going to pass on my Dr. Sears book to the really pushy family membersand remind them that Kelsey is a happy healthy baby and it's probably because of the way we've raised her so far.

I'm hoping the "pass the baby" game will disappear once she's more mobile.

Salma - posted on 01/15/2009

I don't have your problem as our son has been very sociable from an early age but he does get upset sometimes when he's surrounded by people - in that case - we just tell people to give him some space.

You will always have people giving you their unsolicited opinions and "advice". At the end of the day you just need to remember that this is your child - not theirs and just ignore it.

I have a very pushy and interfering mother in law and she used to drive me crazy - even before I had the baby - my friend told me that the best way to deal with her was to listen to what she had to say and then do what I wanted regardless!

It is hard to bite your tongue sometimes but just ignore it. It is not a crime to love your child and not want to see them needlessly upset. Each child is an individual and should be treated is such.. just don't let them get to you.  Take care.

Katie - posted on 01/15/2009

I think just telling them that this is what is best for your family so please don't try to change your mind.  I would probably not be so nice.  I would comment and say something like, well, at least my kids will know that no matter what time of day or where we are - I am always there for them. 

At this age it is just not good for kids to CIO.  They don't understand it yet.  Ultimately, when they are CIO and you ignore them and they stop, it isn't because they have changed their mind or "gotten the point".  It is because they have given up and that just breaks my heart.

Good for you for being there for you kiddo!!!  And, my son turned out perfectly.  HE is a cuddlebug but can still play on his own.  AND, he puts himself to sleep and sleeps through the night.  (It only took 16 months for that to happen.)

Whitney - posted on 01/14/2009

well this is the time when stranger anxiety starts. jp has done that twice and it's totally normal. im sure u did it as a baby as well and ur parents prolly forgot LOL

Stephanie - posted on 01/14/2009

Tell them what happens to a child that is forced to CIO.  It raises their stress levels in their body and damages them!  I will often jokingly say, you wanna come over and parent her?  You are raising a child to be healthy and independant.  I promise it is worth whatever they say.  My sister let her daughter CIO and she is very clingy and sensitive.  My DD plays by herself quite often, has an active imagination and loves people ( now, when she was little, not so much.  But we were there to comfort her and she learned that if we were ok with it, everything was ok.) 

Or refer them to Dr. Sears website.  You are doing what works for your family.  My first didn't like to be passed around, and tis the season for sickness, so you can always use that as an excuse as well.  

Kiyomi - posted on 01/14/2009

I do the same thing. I just tell them that, my husband and I are the ones raising her, so don't tell me how I should raise my child and I will refrain on commenting about your parenting! Everyone says I am going to spoil her. Well she is the first grandbaby on both sides (my husbands and mine) so I think a great deal of spoiling is going to happen no matter what, but I am the one that will have to deal with her later if she is, so they shouldn't worry about it. I am a grown married woman and my husbad and I have thought about it and decided this was in the best interest of our baby.



Those are just some types of responses I give. Each situation is a little different so each response is different Hope this helps.