My baby girl

Amber - posted on 12/21/2009 ( 40 moms have responded )

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My baby girl is now 16 months old and is into everything!!!!!! Her newest thing is hitting us when she is upset. Its cute which makes it hard for us to try and teach her not to do it. Everyday is an adventure with her, she is such a gift from God!

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Megan - posted on 12/28/2009

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Landon has been doing that as well or was anyway. We just take his hands and put them by his side and tell him no thats not nice. It seems to have worked for now anyway!

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Pam - posted on 01/07/2010

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I would put her down on the floor and walk away. The more attention she gets the more she will continue doing the hitting and grabbing of your faces.When my son was my daughter's age if he didn't get what he wanted he would throw himself on the floor and throw tantrums. I would step over him and go onto other things. Once he realized I was not paying attention to him he stopped. Good luck!

Monica - posted on 01/07/2010

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I've tried speaking to her calm and she gets more upset and throws herself on the floor or starts to hit our poor dog, and I get really upset ugh. I feel like i don't know what to do, its hard especially when you don't get any support from your spouse. I'm doing the best that i can to teach her not to hit or scratch etc. I love my baby so much.

Shenae - posted on 01/07/2010

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I'm in the same boat with you, Amber. My 16 month old daughter likes to grab things and when my hubby or I tell her to 'come here', she runs in the opposite direction! Children are a true gift from God.

Alauni - posted on 01/07/2010

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my gal did that just yesterday and in the shopping centre cos the ride had finished, but she didnt want to get out and like u said they will hurt themselves - so i picked her up and held her in my arms and she was trying to push away, hit me, kick, get down all that - i just held her firmly (but not too point u would hurt them) and spoke calmly, slowly and firmly - to stop it, stop that right now - u are only goin to hurt urself and waste ur energy - u are not going to get ur way' and it worked, i repeated that twice and she stopped..... lol i was surprised but yep it worked..... u must stick to wat u have said and just repeat same words.... she will get the jest - its amazing how much they do understand wat u are saying - repetitiion is wat helps toddlers to fully understand wat has been said, or visual...... u can do it :):)

Munizza - posted on 01/06/2010

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My little girl seems to be going through the same phase as many of these little kidos....except along with the hitting she also tries to scratch us by gripping our faces...my husband and I have tried to ask her to stop, or even ignore, but if we ask her firmly then she throws a tantrum by throwing herself back...we then have to stop as we don't want her to hurt her little head...any suggestions???

Alauni - posted on 01/06/2010

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wow so many identical stories - my gal zayda is also 16months old but she is also my 3rd child - older ones being 10 and 8yrs - and she does it all - worst out of them all lol...

Smacking, biting, screaming, kicking etc.... is not what we want our child doing - but ladies this is part of development - because they cannot speak - we need to show them signs (like sign language) until they are able too - i use signs for - hungry, thirsty, sleep - do wat suits u...

....then comes the testing stage where they test u.. because once u teach them that its wrong they will see how far they can get b4 u explode - best way - don't get angry, and because it isn't easy and i too have had times where i just want to scream - turn away take deep breathes and stay calm and in the same tone explain why it is not good and keep repeating same line until it sinks in - and don't give in otherwise child will never stop - time out - not talking or paying attention to child until she/he calms down - it works.....
....saying NO does not usually work - not at this age - cos they will laugh in ur face and only stop when they see u getting angry and that isn't what u want the child to see... wait till they bit older.....
...child will usually always mirror what parent does in handling any given situation....if u get angry at something... they will too.... and if u are not like that, then it wont be hard to teach them right way...but stay firm with ur decision, and don't ever feel guilty....

...otherwise, don't be hard on yourself ladies - especially first time parents - no one has all the answers and like ur child u are both learning - child with development of all aspects of life and parents with having responsibility of raising your child, and all emotions - patience, humility.........u can both enjoy learning 2getha and you will find fulfillment in joys of being a parent....
I am enjoying being a parent at 40 - love spending time with Zayda.... i am more relaxed, better understanding because i have older children and am more patient - GOOD LUCK!! and dont forget - ENJOY UR CHILD :):)

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My 17 month old does the same thing! we call her the "Diva"! And she started the head butting thing! UGH it hurts!

Monica - posted on 01/05/2010

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My daugther is also 16 month an she does the same thing and its driving me crazy. I sometime loose my patient and walk away. She's our first child, we don't spoil her. Well we'll see what happens.

Rikki - posted on 01/05/2010

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My little girl is the same way. I am not sure what to do either because if we try to help her learn to express her anger/frustration in another way and/or put her hands by her side she bites herself.

Amanda - posted on 01/05/2010

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my little girl is 16 months also. she hits and screams and cries when she doesnt get her way. so i either set her in her crib for a time out, ignore it, or try and get her attention on something else. last night she hit me and i set her in time out but only for a minute. and she screamed and then calmed down but only screamed when she saw me looking at her so i think when its ignored she realizes that she needs to calm down and its not going to get her what she wants. of course that is after she threw her cup at her daddy.

Alda - posted on 01/05/2010

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My twins are 16 months (13 corrected). Because they were so premature they're not quite 16 months as far as development goes. They don't hit, but when they want me to read a book to them they'll practically smack me in the face with the book while screaming. When they do that I just tell them that I'll read if they ask me nicely, not when they scream at me. Then I ignore them. After about a minute they usually bring the book back and give it to me with a smile. When they hurt each other I'll just put the culprit with her back to us and make a huge fuss of the victim. The culprit soon realises that lashing out doesn't work for getting attention.

Stephanie - posted on 01/04/2010

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is she only hitting you? my son gets angry and hits everyone or anything when hes not getting his way, but just in a normal day he will hit and smack me for no reason. I'm the only one he does that to?? the no hitting thing and the time out things seem to just make him more mad at me and he lashes out worse ahhh...

Sindus - posted on 01/04/2010

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It's weird how they turn out to be like that on their own. My in laws taught my daughter (17 months) to be that way and they think its funny. I find it cute too but its also unfair for the future.

Sara - posted on 01/03/2010

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I have a 17 month old son. he hits and bites. its cute at first but quickly turns into a really bad habit. We have turned to time outs and spankings, after warnings of course. He usually listens now. Its gotten to where we hardly have to discipline him with that be cause he has learned the consequences. Good luck.

Pam - posted on 01/03/2010

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Thanks for the tip. I guess it truly does make sense. Thanks for the words of wisdom:)

Kelsey - posted on 01/03/2010

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My son Julian does the same.. When he gets angry hes goin straight for the face.. I spat his little hand and say no and he runs off giggly... By the time hes three He'll be able to take me.. lol So I feel like now is the time to let him know I mean NO!!

Anita - posted on 01/02/2010

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Quoting Stina:

well i have a 17 mos old and a 28 mos old. and they hit each other...lol..its REALLY hard to teach them not to hit by maybe smacking their hands. cause it seems hypocritical ya know. i wish there was a solution but after hitting comes biting..and after biting comes scratching. i am dealing with my daughter whos 28 mos old. bite my 17 mos old. and when shes tired of that she will scratch..we arent talking a baby scratch we are talking a gouge in his skin ..and its always his face...

the dr says some things u can ignore and some things u cant. and if theres a resolution id love to know..lol...

my kids dont go to any day cares i have no family. so my kids are always with me and there isnt a single person that takes care of them. my fear is taking them to play at a park or indoor park and they try to bite or hit another kid?....


Hi Stina, It's nice to see another mum on here with children close together in age (mine are 10 months apart... 6 months old and 16 months old). My eldest who is a boy has been hitting his little sister a lot lately and there were times where he had picked up heavy objects ready to whack her one. He is a very aggressive and just full on. I was hoping it gets better but after reading your post I am not so sure lol.



I also don't have daycare where I live (on an Island) and I also don't have any family around so it's just me and them ALL day and all night.



Can I ask you (seeing as you are in the same situation as me..) what do you do to make life easier, even if it's just little tips and hints that get you through the day. Do you have a structured routine? How do you do the housework? Are you kids very demanding (my eldest is..... he is a typical LEO lol)... it will be nice to hear from you.



I am going to be honest by saying that I have had a really hard time lately. and it just helps to talk to someone in the same situation. Thanks STina

Stina - posted on 01/02/2010

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well i have a 17 mos old and a 28 mos old. and they hit each other...lol..its REALLY hard to teach them not to hit by maybe smacking their hands. cause it seems hypocritical ya know. i wish there was a solution but after hitting comes biting..and after biting comes scratching. i am dealing with my daughter whos 28 mos old. bite my 17 mos old. and when shes tired of that she will scratch..we arent talking a baby scratch we are talking a gouge in his skin ..and its always his face...

the dr says some things u can ignore and some things u cant. and if theres a resolution id love to know..lol...

my kids dont go to any day cares i have no family. so my kids are always with me and there isnt a single person that takes care of them. my fear is taking them to play at a park or indoor park and they try to bite or hit another kid?....

Jennifer - posted on 01/02/2010

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My little girl doesn't hit when she is upset,she tries to BITE!! I am not really sure how to stop that one. We kinda just pull her off and tell her "no no bite" or "we only bite food" She really only seems to do it when she is cutting teeth so maybe that's what is going on. I don't know. Otherwise when she gets upset she just cries and throws a mini tatrum (like lays on the floor a second then stops). And so far, thankfully, only ever at home!

Stacy - posted on 01/02/2010

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My son Alisander has started doing that too. We put him down when he does that and tell him no. He usually has a little fit on the floor and then we make him sign sorry and explain why we don't hit. It seems to be working. The number of times he does it has gone down quite a bit.

Anita - posted on 01/02/2010

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My 16 month old little boy also has a hitting problem. He also pulls hair, kicks, throws food etc. We have tried the time out method by putting him in his room for a little while. I HATE doing this so I usually get his Daddy to do it (while I am crying my eyes out in another room lol) but I don't know if it works. He seems to be getting more aggressive, especially towards his 6 month old sister. I have tried saying 'no' over and over, I have tried using a harsh tone of voice, I have smacked a couple of times but instantly regretted it and haven't done that since. I haven't tried putting his hands to his sides so I might try that and see how it works. He usually gets more agressive when he is tired or if he has just got into trouble, and usually then he takes it out on his little sister by hitting her on her head or slapping her face. Because there is only 10 months difference between my son and daughter I am trying realy hard not to ignore each of them, especially Joe as he has become very jealous and I feel like I am letting him down by not being there for him 100% of the time. I mean I am physically here all day but there are times when I need to feed and change Milla or pick her up and my son seems hurt and cannot understand why I can't pick him up, it's becoming a real problem for me lately. Anyways I just wanted to let you all know that I enjoyed reading your posts, it makes me feel like I am not alone on this one.

Chelsy - posted on 01/01/2010

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Quoting Pam:

Sounds like my little girl. I take her hand and tap it saying "No no you don't hit people." She usually gets her feelings hurt and lays on the floor then and pouts.



Hi Pam,



When I read this i smilied cause this is what I used to do to untill one day my old grandma told me to really think hard about that approach. I thought about it for a few days and realised it probly wasnt the best way to deal with it because think of it this way. You are basically teaching that when they are bad they are gunna get smacked. It just teaches them that its ok to hit, because mom and dad do it. Im not accusing you of hitting her or anything but that little slap on her hand teaches her its ok. Because shes so young, she doesnt know the diff between a lite tap and a full on slap.....



 



I dunno, Just something to think about. I love a grandmas oldschool wisdom!

Jen - posted on 01/01/2010

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My son also hates it when I laugh??? I was holding him on day and someone made me laugh kinda hard and he slapped me in the face! and started crying - what is this all about?

Heather - posted on 01/01/2010

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My daughter is also 16 months old and she is hitting a lot! Anytime she doesn't get her way or gets frustrated, mad, you name it. We just keep disciplining her. I've had to pop her behind lightly a few times which she doesn't like, but I've heard this is a phase. I'm hoping so, because I got slapped a few times on the face already!

Jen - posted on 01/01/2010

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We have the same problem. Daddy has taught our little guy to throw balls so he throws everything at us! Hard to teach him not to throw unless Daddy says so, any ideas?

Aleah - posted on 01/01/2010

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My daughter too is 16 months. For discipline, so far I have used planned ignoring, distraction, firmly telling her "no" (over and over), and I have put her in time-out only twice. I used a corner of our living room for a naughty spot which worked well because I could still see her yet was not giving her attention. I put her there for literally like 10 seconds. She cried and definitely understood that she was in trouble. At this age though I would not leave her for longer than that because I don't think she is yet capable of truly comprehending. Also, the only time my daughter acts up is when she is tired, so as soon as she starts getting hyperactive I know it is time for a nap or bed.

Vanessa - posted on 01/01/2010

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My daughter has just recently started hitting as well and we are very upset b/c until now she never even so much as threw a fit. So I looked up ways to handle it and heard that I just have to repeatedly say "no" "thats not nice" It is not working at all. I have also tried to hold her hands. She is also 16 mos old. Do u guys think they understand time out or does it just make them frustrated, cause it looks like that might have to be the next step

Ania - posted on 01/01/2010

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hi, it's really nice to hear that my daughter is not the only one in the whole world with hitting problem, I've tried to ignore it or tell her not to do it but it didn't really work, she still sometimes hits us, but I am worried because she now discovered biting as well, I know she does it when she is being ignored and she wants something her way but still I do get worried that she won't grow out of it.

Nikki - posted on 12/31/2009

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My son has started the hitting thing also, but when he does it, I tell him that if he is mad to clap his hands together, so far it has worked pretty well.

Kate - posted on 12/31/2009

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I am so glad to know we are not the only ones going through this hitting stage. My husband and I, do exactly what Jacqui recommended. When she hits one of us, usually me, I squeeze her hand say no and put her in her cot for 1 minute. We're both teachers, so we've read research that says that time out should be 1 minute for every year of life. It is so funny, because it does seem like she is looking to see what her boundaries are. If I just squeeze her hand and don't put her in time out on the first hit, she'll usually hit me again. Then, I say, okay time out one minute. Not in an angry way, just in a matter- of-a-fact manner. I hope this helps. Cheers! Kate

Pam - posted on 12/30/2009

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Sounds like my little girl. I take her hand and tap it saying "No no you don't hit people." She usually gets her feelings hurt and lays on the floor then and pouts.

Sonja - posted on 12/30/2009

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My daughter is doing the same thing!! She is now going up to the dog and hitting her too which I really don't like. We try to correct her with a straight face, but sometimes its so hard!! We have taught her to be soft and gentle when petting the dog, so we say that to her a lot. Sometimes it helps, but other times she is in a mood and it won't work. I give her a warning that I am going to put her to bed if she doesn't stop and then if it continues, I put her in her room (she is out of a crib already) and get her after 5 minutes to let her know I am serious. I just am scared that she is going to go around hitting other children if we don't address it now.

Jacqui - posted on 12/29/2009

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If the hands to the side doesn't work, tell them firmly "we don't hit" and put them in a time out area (I use Charlie's cot), leave for a minute then come back, pick them up and say again, "we don't hit."
I've been doing this when Charlie throws food (of course saying "we don't throw our food") and as hard as it is to hear her cry, I think it's working. Just don't leave them for too long, they are not old enough to really comprehend time out!

I just want to add that it's so great to see everyone so involved and concerned about your children, I know you're all tired and at times probably close to losing your senses (at least if you're anything like me), but congratulations on being the kind of parents that are honestly doing your best at bringing up your children to be emotionally healthy. Gives me hope that the crazy society we live in has a chance of having decent future generations!

Megan - posted on 12/29/2009

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I hope it works putting there hands to their sides for you all!! and Anita I don't think it is hurting her by ignoring her when she is acting out. Sometimes that is what it takes for Landon to get it so that is what i end up doing as well.

Anita - posted on 12/29/2009

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My daugther likes to hit when she is angry or cant get her way . When I tell hert nicely or put her hands to hersides she becomes more aggresive?..So I ignore for sometime before she turns to do other things...I hope I am doing the right thing

Shawna - posted on 12/29/2009

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I think I am going to try the hands to the side too...can't hurt. Campbell is 16 months, and she hits, especially when she doesn't get her way, or sometimes, when she is hapy, and it's like she doesn't know what to do! Her daddy and I have struggled with a good way to tell her NO for the last few weeks....maybe this will work!

Gemma - posted on 12/29/2009

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my little girl is exactly the same. she hits when she gets upset or cant have her own way. i think i will give the putting her hands to her side ago and see if that helps as she jus laughs when you tell her no. i guess its just somethin they all go through at this age and im sure they will soon grow out of it

Mercedes - posted on 12/27/2009

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My baby is the same way I dont know what to do when she hits because when I try to yell at her she just smiles and so do I...I hope it gets easier b4 it becomes too much of a problem...my baby will be 16 months in 2 days =]

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