Social issues with my toddler

Stefie - posted on 10/22/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I am wondering if I should worry about my 2 year old and her social skills. I admit I am not great in group situations. I want her to have an easier time than I did. She seems to be a lot like me and just shy away from the group. She does great one on one play. I want to try and help her but I don't really know where to start. I am not trying to label her or anything, I just know that I had issues with groups and I want her to not deal with some of the heart aches I had.

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Nikki - posted on 10/24/2010

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Hi Stefie,
I wouldn't worry right yet. At this stage, they tend to have attachment issues along with anxiety in groups. Normally, children do not truly start to play with others until the age of three or four

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Sara - posted on 11/10/2010

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It's pretty common for children at this age to play 'next' to each other rather than 'with' each other at this age. Watching is a way of participating too. She's taking in all that she is seeing. You said she interacts well with one peer and I think that's wonderful. I wouldn't push her too much. When she's ready she'll join in.

Maggie - posted on 11/04/2010

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If she's more comfortable in one-on-one situations then why force her to play in large groups? She'll have plenty of time to "socialize" when she gets into school. In the meantime let her play with one child at a time or a small group.
Sounds like you are projecting your issues onto her. She's TWO - an age where kids are still very egocentric. Playing in groups doesn't really start until they are older. Take it easy!

Tammy - posted on 11/04/2010

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There are lots of play centers you can take your daughter to, where she can learn to socialize with others. Mine goes to a place called My Gym and also to Elite Kids. Being an only child, with no cousins, or opportunity to play with other kids in the neighborhood, these places have really helped teach my daughter how to behave around other kids and adults. It's so amazing see her run and climb and just generally play with the other kids.

Tanya-Lynn - posted on 10/28/2010

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my son shys away too hes only good in groups if his big sister is around he tends to play on his own but they are too young to understand they just want to play on their own thats all give her time she will be a social butterfly by the time u know it good luck

Evelyn - posted on 10/27/2010

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More often than not children will learn from what they see, so if you want to make a difference in her future behavior, you yourself will need to set an example. That goes with interaction with others, be it in a group or a one on one basis. Perhaps if you join a mothers group or try more exposure to other parents with children of similar age?

Loni - posted on 10/27/2010

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The only thing you can do is encourage the group play. The more she is exposed to other children the easier it will be for her later on when facing social engagements like school and making friends at the playground. She may be shy like you one day if thats her personality and IF thats the case at least she won't be deathly scared of being in those situations, she'll just deal with it. Don't forget that kids this age start learning about strangers versus people she knows which will flip flop her shyness and being outgoing.

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