Wanting child number 2 but terrified of giving birth after 1st experience....

Vicki - posted on 02/12/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I would really like to hear from anyone that tore really badly wen giving birth the first time and who has since had child number 2. Tell me was it as bad? Should I opt for a c-section? Anyways to help me feel positive about having a second child? I want another child but am seriously put of by the experience of the first birth..... any tips welcome

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Nicole - posted on 02/22/2009

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I would say to go for it. I have had 4 pregnancies and each one was different. I only tore with the first one and he was my smallest baby at 6lb 13oz. I then went on to have a 7lb 13oz, 8lb 3oz, and 8lb 7oz. All of them were pretty quick when it came to pushing I just think your body is more prepared the 2nd time around.

Kristyna - posted on 02/19/2009

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I am so sorry to hear that you had such a horrible birth experience. I had a horrible pregnancy with my first child and if that wasn't enough, like you during the birth I tore severely almost completely to my rectum. I swore that I would never do it again but I did. Again the pregnacy was horrible but the birth went a lot better and I didn'thave problems even though my second child was larger. I am very happy that i chose do have another baby. I hope it helps ease your mind.

Amanda - posted on 02/19/2009

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I did not have a bad labor with my first child (4 1/2 hrs w/ 40 minutes of pushing) but I had a 3rd degree tear because he came out so fast and he was 9.5 lbs. It was at least 8 weeks after I had him before I felt even remotely normal again. And even once everythink was healed it was still painful to use the bathroom or to have sex!!! With my daughter I was very nervous because I was not looking forward to going through that again. However, it was a breeze.....I went from 6cm to 10 cm in 20 minutes and the dr. barely made it in the room before she came sliding out. I actually laughed and the dr. yelled at me not to because the baby was right there. She had her gown half way on and one glove on before she had catch the baby. I only had 1 or 2 stitches and was feeling great about 3 days after I had her. And now I have no issues with sex or going to the bathroom anymore. Kind of weird how that works out. Sounds like from alot of peoples stories the second time around are  alot better.

Tracie - posted on 02/19/2009

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I had a horrible experience. My daughter was 9lbs 6oz...yeah i know. lol. well i didnt want any kind of drugs so i did it all natural. my labor was 12 hours and i pushed for 2 hours and my daughter got stuck and they actually had to cut me because i would tear anyway so they cut me pretty bad down there which i felt all of considering i didnt get anything for pain. well my daughter was finally pulled out and wasnt breathing and almost died and had to go to the NICU for 4 days and i couldnt hold her. After all of that, I would do it again. The love I have for my baby girl is amazing and she is worth any amount of pain. I would do it all over again, the same way. When I have my second Im still not going to get any pain medication.

Chelsea - posted on 02/14/2009

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My labor was very short (I was induced) and I only pushed for 4 minutes! The doctor was not even ready for her, I was just supposed to be working her down a little lol! So my tear was bad (definitely glad I had an epidural), but my mom told me that you don't really tear like that the second time! I also walked everyday during my pregnancy, even the days after my due date... in August... in Tennessee! It was hot! But everyone told me that all of that walking makes labor easier! I would say the pain of the tearing wasn't so bad compared to the fact I came down with a bladder infection with a fever after I got home from the hospital! I definitely don't think you should worry about the second time around if you're ready for another baby! Good luck!

Shayna - posted on 02/14/2009

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I would recommend searching around for a midwife.  They are SOOOOO good with helping to slowly ease the baby out while applying oil around the site to prevent tearing.  Plus they will recommend things such as primrose oil massage and stretches prior to labor to help with the elasticity.  I did have minor tearing, but it was internally. (in the birth canal) and so stiches were easy and didn't notice any other problem!  PS I also had an extremely fast labor w/my first: 3 hours) and usually your body doesn't have 'time' to prepare and ease into the stretching with such fast labors.  So I"m SO GLAD FOR MY MIDWIFE!!!

Jen - posted on 02/13/2009

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Quoting Heather:

 I had a 3rd (almost 4th) degree tear with a massive amount of brusing. I was in pain for weeks after and couldn't really walk well for days. 


My sister was the same.  She couldn't walk for over a week.  I stayed with her at home and had to bring the baby to her for feedings.  I

Jen - posted on 02/13/2009

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I had an emergency c-section, so I don't have any personal experience. But I was with my sister when she gave birth to my nephew. His head was huge when he was born (he had to wear 6 month clothes because others didn't fit over his head). My sister had 24 internal stitches and 33 external. 2 years later she had my niece and had absolutely no problems. Nothing at all like the first. She has since had 2 more - all were easy births with no pain medications.

Heather - posted on 02/13/2009

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My first birth experience was pretty brutal. Labour was not too long (11 hours from beginning to end) but very painful. I had terrible leg pain that caused me to have an epidural. I was in the pushing stage for over 2 hours and felt the whole thing because the epi had to be turned off for me to feel the urge to push. I had a 3rd (almost 4th) degree tear with a massive amount of brusing. I was in pain for weeks after and couldn't really walk well for days.



My second experience was great! I used no pain medication and once they broke my water I had two or three contractions and then just pushed him out. Minor tearing but was up and about right away. Very little pain or brusing.



Good luck and don't be afraid - I'm sure next time you'll be OK.

Andrea - posted on 02/13/2009

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Haha, I feel the same way. I only had a small tear, but it was painful, and the whole experience was pretty awful for me. But I also think about that moment after she was born and I was so relieved it was over and just in awe at my gorgeous little girl. I'd definitely do it again knowing how much I love her now. The pain only lasts so long, but that love.... man.... there's nothing like it.

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