13 month old with an attitude??? Anymore out there?

ShaeLee - posted on 09/17/2010

you can't really discipline at this age, but rather teach them the opposite of hitting and scratching...which is being soft. As soon as the hit or scratch firmly tell them NO and show them how to be soft.

Niki - posted on 09/17/2010

Ok yea i got a daughter that just turned 1 in aug and she has an attitude also. Sometimes as soon as I say no she stops and turns around but when she is mad at me for saying no she crawls over to me reaches for me to pick her up and hits me in the face the second i do. What I do about this is put her in her play pen for a simple small time out. No toys just her sitting in there they cry for a couple of minutes but once you get them out they usally don't do it again

Rachel - posted on 09/17/2010

My twin 13 month old boys "test" us as well. They want to climb almost on everything (highchairs, tv stand, dining room table), but since it's obvious they are testing us we firmly say their name and we tend to get at least a reaction from them (turn toward us, makes a sound) and 9 times out of ten that's all it takes from us, but sometimes they are subborn and want to see how far they can take it. At that point we simply walk them away from whatever they are getting themselves into and indulge them with a new activity.. a new toy... a book, maybe our cats, something to take their mind off of what they were just doing.
Not to say it harshly, but babies to me are almost like gold fish. The moment they set their minds on something else, instantly they forget how cool the last thing was.
Therefore, I am for NO disipline. I have heard from my father in law that "if they do something they shouldn't, just smack their arm or bum" and I always stand up for what I believe in to him (which angers him, because he thinks I am saying he was a bad parent). I can't stand spanking, hitting, grabbing really mean, or any of that...
I stick to the basics. Distract them and you won't no any different. There is always something more exciting in the room.
Good Luck Girly!

Toria - posted on 09/16/2010

Time outs :) it works with my son. They say 1 minute for 1 year olds, but if they are still throwing a fit after that 1 minute, lengthen the time another minute. It will calm both your nerves and her tantrum. she might even tire herself out enough and take a nap...which tiredness may be the cause of her acting out anyways.

Srujana - posted on 09/16/2010

I experience the same with my 13th month old , he is into a lot of scratching and biting , oh my , it hurts really bad some times , because he gets me off guard. I try telling him NO and he understands it , because the minute i change my voice , he starts making faces as if he is about to cry ( sometimes i end up smiling which wont work )But normally i try to ignore him for a while , say No with a different tone . I tried putting him in the crib , some times it works , and sometimes it wont. May be this time i shall try grabbing his toys .Good luck :)
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Corie - posted on 09/14/2010

Bethany doesn't scratch but she hits and will be defiant when we say no. (Especially when it comes to the dog food). We simply make her get up and walk her over to another part of the house and tell her "No No No". She will throw a fit and we walk away from her. She calms down after a few seconds of not getting what she wants.

Kimberly - posted on 09/10/2010

JD is 13 months as well. If I tell him no he screams. He will throw a tamtrum every now and again. If he continues to do what I tell him not to his punishment is being taken away from what he is doing and being sat on the floor. I dont want to start any kind of hitting, because I dont want him to hit. I agree with not putting him in the crib. He has always been a great sleeper, 10 hours a night since he was 10 weeks old. If you want to take her away from the situation put her in her highchair turned away from anything. This way she cant get hurt and there is a consiquesnce.

Gemma - posted on 09/09/2010

My 13 month old is exactly the same, knows exactly what he's doing and that he's wrong, today i even had the lying down on the floor in the shopping centre and refusing to move, he's walking and does not want to be in his push chair at all now!
I work with children with special needs and so know Makaton (simplified sign language), when he does something i dont want him to do i make him say (sign) sorry and he knows when he does this that im not happy with him, sometimes he refuses to do it for ages but i dont let him go until he's done it. as soon as he does we have a kiss and a cuddle and its forgotten.
I don't know if he fully understands what he is saying but it really seems to work, he used to bite, once drew blood through jeans! we made him say sorry everytime, and most time had big battles over it, but he seemed to realise quite quickly that it was just easier to not bite than say sorry!
Dont know if this helps but it worked for us!

Viola-Michele - posted on 09/09/2010

MY 12 MONTH OLD FALLS OUT ALL OVA DA FLOOR ALREADY...HE NOE WHEN HE IS DOIN BAD 2 ND U CAN TELL HIM OVA ND OVA AGAIN 2 STOP BUT HE STILL DOES IT ND WEN I PULL HIM AWAY HE GOES RITE BAK 2 IT HE DONT HAVE A SHORT ATTENTION SPAN...I NEED HELP WIT HIM 2!!!

Stephanie - posted on 09/08/2010

Im having the exact same problem with my almost 13 month. She likes to throw things when shes mad and sometimes even when shes not. Example last night my husband was laying on the floor and she walked up to him and threw her wipey box at his head. She bites and throws tantrums and Im almost at my wits end. I seriously dont know what her deal is and it really upsets me because this is not what I wanted for her. I dont want to put her in her crib when she is in trouble because she associates that with a bad thing and then wont want to go to sleep because she will think she is in trouble. Ive tried redirecting, telling her no, tapping her hand, ignoring her tantrums and still nothing works.

Angie - posted on 09/07/2010

I'm not really sure 'discipline' is the right word at this age. I think how can you 'correct' the behavior is better. Right now they are just testing their limits and exerting their independence. You don't necessarily want to deter them from that because it is a good thing, but they also need to learn rules.

Be consistent. If you say no and she keeps doing it, show her there is a consequence. Move her away from the object (example: outlet she is trying to stick her finger in) or take away the item (shoe is is eating) and say 'no' firmly. If she goes right back to doing it, then consider something more drastic like moving her to a different room away from the temptation. You could even do a watered-down version of time-out by sticking her in a pack-in-play or crib with no toys. Some people may even condone a soft smack on the hands, but I guess I don't really see the need for that. It's all up to what you feel comfortable with as a parent.

If she throws a tantrum, don't give her the attention she wants. Ignore her (but make sure she's safe, of course). If the tantrum continues on for an extended length of time, you might consider holding her against you with her facing out until she calms down.

Of course all of this is easier said than done, especially if you are in public and all you want to do is prevent an embarassing moment!!! Remember, 1 year olds are little people with BIG personalities. That little tidbit might not solve anything, but it's so very true!

Jennifer - posted on 09/07/2010

I wish I could call her daddy in, but he works out of town during the week, so its just me. I try to redirect her to other things, but she sure doesn't forget what she was doing, and the minute I turn my head, she goes back to it. I don't like putting her in her crib for punishment, because right now we are having a hard enough time going to sleep, so I don't want to cause more issues with that!
Thanks for your advice, I'll def. give it a try, and I'm sure it will be before bedtime! (which is later tonight b/c the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse special comes on!)

Amber - posted on 09/07/2010

My son is 12 months and he tries to do the same thing sometimes..i have learned that it is a cause and effect ordeal with them. they do things to "test" you and see how far they can get with it or to find out the reaction. (ex. like wen they throw a ball and watch until it stops). I have learned to pick and choose what to respond to and what to shrug off..sometimes it's just for attention and if you entertain it then they will continue to do it. Another thing I do is wen he does something i will look him in the eyes, no matter if im in his face or a few feet away on the couch, and firmly tell him no while saying his name, if he persists I will raise my voice slightly, keeping it stern, and repeat it. after the third time I will then get up and thump his hand. he has the same little grin during the incident. if the thump does not work..then I will bring in his father and he repeats the process, with less patients, lol. The main thing we have learned is to not let the behavior frustrate you, you have to keep your cool to let the child know that you are in control of the situation. Antoher importance is to follow through with the discipline. A simpler way is to redirect her attention to something enjoyable and maybe she will forget about putting on the attitude, bribing sometimes works as long as it doesn't turn into an "all the time" thing, they will soon pick up on the bribing and act out to get something. Last but not least, if nothing works and he continues to be honery, then we put him in his crib for maybe 10 mins or so, he doesnt like it and screams like it's the end of the world, but he comes out calm and relaxed when we take him out of the crib. he may want us to hold him for a short period but the disobedience stops. I hope my advice is helpful!



Good Luck!

Amber