boasting

Nazima - posted on 01/08/2011 ( 21 moms have responded )

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hi! i just wanna know how do u react when other mothers start boasting about their child/children? would u,
a) tell them back about how great ur own child is
b) just listen and nod your head
c) just let them talk and in ur heart, u know ur child is much better than them but u'd prefer to keep it to urself ;)

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Sheila - posted on 01/08/2011

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Ithink every parent should be boasting about how great our children are. If they are not then that may be a flag that there is something wrong.... post partum, resentment, the list could go on and on. I enjoy hearing about the milestones my freinds children are making. Either my child is ahead of them, or behind them. every child will develope differently, and will reach milestones at different stages. It makes for good conversation, and a healthy friendship. If you are insulted or bothered by their childs achievments, I think you need to take stock of your own situation.

Kelly - posted on 01/23/2011

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I just listen and nod my head to a bragger. I am fiercely proud of my children, and I love to talk to my husband or a grandparent about their achievements because they are as proud as I am, and it comes from the heart, not the need to beat someone. But to say that to a friend who also has children, especially around the same age? That kind of one-upping is not friendship. That's competition. I just dislike bragging in general. It smells like insecurity to me.

Maleah - posted on 01/17/2011

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It depends on the person.. Some people I don't tell them about how wonderful I think my children are because it is pointless..
There are some of my really close friends that I boast right back to about my babies.. But they are the ones that are more like sisters than friends..

Alexis - posted on 01/16/2011

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I am one of those boasting moms. I have noticed it and I try to keep any comment to one sentence and leave it open ended to hear what other parents have to say about their little one too. I don't know how long I did this before I realized I was doing it, but I was doing it out of pure love and admiration of my son. I am a first time mom and just amazed by all that he does and how much love I have for another person that I don't realize that other parents don't want to listen. I know I don't like to listen to it, but now I try to use it as an ice breaker to meet other parents and will comment on how good their kid is at something and let them start the rambles. I do boast a lot to grandparents, dad when he comes home from work and people with a one sided interest in what my son can do. Otherwise I have toned it down.

[deleted account]

I agree that sharing a milestone with another mother can be great. There are moms though that do Brag a LOT about nothing in my opinion. ( I know ALL children are different and progress at different paces) I usually just let them go on and on and on... and when they are done I share what my son can do and he is VERY advanced lol so they usually leave me alone after that. I only do this with moms I consider to be obnoxious or condescending. I have run into that a bit at the story time I take my son to. there are cliques there I am glad he will graduate in 6 weeks :)

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21 Comments

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Tanya - posted on 01/22/2011

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I would probably give an honest update about the same topic they are boasting about. If it happens to be more positive than their child, so be it. If it doesn't so be it. I am not a competitive person, and try to be reassuring that all kids develop differently. If your kid did something first, it's not a big deal to me. If it's constant and really bothering you, maybe that person should make their way off your constant contact list.

Nazima - posted on 01/22/2011

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yup2,... i do agree that we ought to share stories about our child's development so that we can learn from each other..of course each child is different from the other.. me being a doctor, ive seen so many infants/child with various develepmental stage for their respective ages and it never cease to amaze me what one child can do..mine still hasnt start talking yet, not even calling me 'ummi' (arabic word for mother) but my colleagues daughter started saying 'mama' at 10mths of age.. im not worried, cause i know they are all different..

Nicola - posted on 01/21/2011

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b) just listen, I have more class than to boast. I mean, I'm proud of my son, and will brag when the moment is right - for example, when other moms are sharing stories, which is different than boasting. Reason - all kids are different and develop at different rates. Because your child isn't "doing" the same as others, does not mean they are behind, or will be delayed - they will do it eventually - I think boasting can cause other moms to worry, that there child isn't at the same level, which means nothing. Why cause worry, just to make yourself feel good? There are ways to brag, or act proud of your child.

Diane - posted on 01/18/2011

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Does it have to be a competition? Can't we all just say how great our kids are?

Claudia - posted on 01/17/2011

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i love sharing how wonderful my son is..
i don't brag about his milestones though.. i'm proud when he does, but he's a little slow with some things, but i'm happy and pleased nonetheless..
we should all be proud of our babies!
:)

Cassie - posted on 01/17/2011

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I totally agree with Sheila, there is a VERY BIG difference between bragging, and updating on recent achievements, also, some mothers just dont seem to know how to say, my kid just started doing this, is this normal and age appropriate? so when they do say something about what their child is doing, it comes out like boasting.
Im an out of the home Nanny, its a great job, and I get to bring my daughter to work with me, and enjoy being with her. We are lucky enough that the family I work for has a little girl 3 weeks younger than my own, and since they are both just over a year old, they do everything together, Heather (not mine) crawled and walked first, Shiloh (mine) talks and fed herself first, but everything new 1 baby learned the other would pick up in the blink of an eye, and I find myself bragging about the children I take care of as much as I brag aboput my own little girl.
I also agree that if the boasting bothers you so much, its got to either be excessive, or theres something wrong...I admit, when Heather had 5 teeth, and I was still looking for SHilohs first tooth, I went thru tooth envy, but I think bragging as you put it, might just be normal healthy everyday sharing of achievements. Enjoy hearing them, and brag right back, when your child hears it, they will have reassurance that not only does Mommy tell me shes proud of me for what Im doing, but she tells her friends!
If indeed the person is bragging excessively, then maybe they are trying to over compensate for something they arent doing/ having with their own child, or (like I said earlier) the other parent may be looking for a way to confirm that what their child is doing is normal and on target. I guess it depends on the bragger, and what kind of person they are

[deleted account]

At my sons story time you can change the subject 900 times and walk away form certain mothers and they follow you keeping on topic... I am finding a new story time!

Blackwood - posted on 01/14/2011

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Let them talk, if you are annoyed becuz of how much they are "Bragging", then change the subject. Although a mom should be proud, braggin and going on and on is different. Maybe if you just keep changing the subject they might get the hint. Last thing I would do is compete with another mother over a child. You know your child is special and am sure most moms talk about their kids becuz they feel the same way as you do. But braggin or competing is annoying.

[deleted account]

I see your point Nazima! I have run into the mom who wont let you speak more than once!! And I actually started another topic because of this one. A lot of the time I cant get a word in edge wise because people think I am young... My son is awesome and I tell people that but again all children are different and progress at different rates even siblings :)

[deleted account]

I see your point Nazima! I have run into the mom who wont let you speak more than once!! And I actually started another topic because of this one. A lot of the time I cant get a word in edge wise because people think I am young... My son is awesome and I tell people that but again all children are different and progress at different rates even siblings :)

Nazima - posted on 01/13/2011

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i do agree that once a while a mother would 'brag' about they child's milestone.. but occasionally there are those that would continue talking and doesnt give u chance to tell about ur child :P i would just listen and if given chance, would talk abt my daughter..and they wud be surprise with what she can do..but i'd rather not tell everyone about it :)

Marta - posted on 01/13/2011

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I would probably just listen and nod. But I have had a mom or 2 who say things like, "Well little Sara started walking at 6 months and used the potty all by herself by 10 months..." Then I just kind of fake smile while thinking she is lying to my face, lol.

Jamie - posted on 01/11/2011

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i think it is good for parents to boast about their child/children because it shows others that they are proud parents. i love talking about the differents things my daughter does she is 16 months old and is in everything. got to love her though.

[deleted account]

i just listen and nod. i figure every once in a while most moms probably brag about their kids. unless it's someone i know who does it constantly i would just listen politely

Nazima - posted on 01/09/2011

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hi sheila! thank you for giving me a different perscpective on how to look at it :) its just sometimes when they do the talking, they give u no chance to talk ;)

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