How do I get my oldest to clean her room??

Anita - posted on 09/02/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My daughter is almost 9 years old and she still won't clean up after herself. Her room is a mess and I'm getting really tired of having to clean it up everyday. What can I say to get her to clean up??

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Della - posted on 09/11/2010

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I gave my youngest son the room of his dreams and now he keeps it clean. It's been a few months and he is still doing it. If I knew a trip to IKEA worked this miricle I'd have done it sooner...go figure?

Della - posted on 09/11/2010

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My son does the samething. I usually get a clean room when HE wants something. He always has preset chores cleaning his room and helping with, yard, kitchen and bath. Yesterdy he wanted to go out with friends (code for needed a ride and some cash). Said I love to help if he had done his chores. Very soon afterward room, bath clean. I don't always give in but I find the incentive base works far better than ranting and raving. And I feel much better and we have a better relationship. His freinds are even on my side. They are like keep your room clean so you won't be grouned this weekend. Good luck!

Betty - posted on 09/10/2010

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At that age, you may be surprised at her ability to value a dollar, so to speak. Assign a value to each chore. For example, for making sure her floor is clean before bedtime, she earns a quarter. If the problem is toys being flung around, offer a reward for each day that she makes them 'neat', according to what you know are her capabilities. Other rewards might be an afternoon picnic at the park or eating out at her favorite place. Every child is motivated by something- you just gotta figure out her desire. And most important, don't give in to the temptation to "pay" her anyway....make sure the job is done. You may have to oversee her work- maybe she just needs your company while she is working.

Erin - posted on 09/10/2010

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OK--I think I can help with this one!! Mine are 9, 11, 13 & 18, and we took some great nuggets from the book "Parenting with Love and Logic." It's all about choices. So when she says, "May I go to 'Ashlyn's' house, Mom?" Your reply is--"I would love for you to spend time with Ashlyn! So when your room is cleaned, you are welcome to." or "I would love for you to take you to purchase the new belt you want, so when you choose to clean your room, I'll choose to take you!" It's a non-emotional, non-nagging way, and it really works around here. Hope that helps!! Erin

Vicki - posted on 09/09/2010

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I told my 9 year old I was tired of always fighting with her about this. That it was making me sad. If she didn't want to clean it, I was okay with that. But if it was messy, I couldn't wash the sheets or dust or vacuum, so she would have to. I gave her the choice. The room gets picked up by her on my schedule, and I do the other stuff, or she does it all on her own time. She tested me the first time I asked her to clean up, so she didn't get her room cleaned. From then on, she did it without an argument. I was seriously shocked that it worked!

Christy - posted on 09/09/2010

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I have a 10 year old girl. I also use the same strategy as Annette. I set a time limit and whatever isn't picked up goes in my box. She can pay to get it out with a different chore, but the items are mine for quite awhile. As a teacher, Ialso know that sometimes it is overwhelming for a child. Break it into small tasks for her. I will go into her room and tell her to pick up allt he clothes. Then go by again and say now it's time for books. Then pick another item. It breaks it down into steps for them that they might not be able to think of.

Annette - posted on 09/08/2010

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When my daughter was a little younger than yours I told her that whatever she didn't pick up and I had to would go into the trash...After going into her room a few times with a trash bag and her seeing me throw things away she started cleaning her room. (You don't have to actually throw the things away...just put them away somewhere for a while). Might work.

Carol - posted on 09/02/2010

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One word: bribery. Find out her price, and then pay it. Is it an mp3 player? An activity w/a friend? A special pair of shoes? (Wait, that's my price.) LOL. She cleans her room, then gets paid.

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