Hello from a Mom in Ontario

Cheryl Anne - posted on 11/13/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Looking for lots of informatin & support - we are in the "Denial" phase - which means - that others in our family are contributing to our "Denial" which is to say - this is going to be so very challenging - although no formal diagnosis as yet - Nick is 4.5 years old - & has not had any formal childcare or school until this past September - which is where the assessment process began >>>
we were aware that Nick was a handful - & my words at our Family Doc.'s visits before school started - were "Dynamo" - Strong willed - unique learning style - um-might I say "Little Lawyer" - > - have only been on Circle of Mom`s for about 1 week - looking forward to reading tons & to asking lots too!

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Nicola - posted on 07/19/2012

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I think denial is quite a normal reaction. My 3 year old son was diagnosed April 2011 and we are set for a re-assessment in a few months. His speech is coming along nicely but he still has habits, behaviours, speech patterns, coordination and sensory issues that are all aspects of the autism spectrum disorder. But I know that some close family members and even his daycare teachers and even one of his speech therapist aren't sure he's on the spectrum anymore. This can be very good news but I am cautious as I don't want them to make a decision on his ASD; only to find out that the issues resurface/worsen later and then we have to start the process of diagnosis, wait lists etc all over again. Part of the denial is having to come to the realization that our plans and hopes for our kids have to change. We are also usually hard on ourselves too - thinking perhaps we caused the ASD. But generally, I have found that moms usually spot things in their kids before everyone else and are usually the warriors who act on their gut first and get the support they need for themselves and their kids.

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My hubby is still in the denial phase he knows somethings wrong but he just keeps saying there's nothing wrong with him he's just strong-willed, tempermental, etc. know he's just adjusting in his own way to the diagnosis, my mum is as of right now blaming herself (last week it was my 'fault') and we aren't even addressing it with the rest of the family yet because we just can't handle anything extra right now. My 3 year old son was diagnosed last week, the process started about a year ago. It started with our PHN saying he was a high-needs newborn, then with the old daycare claiming he was ADD with him only being 9-12 months old which I didn't accept (My hubby is ADD and I know my son is not) and then we had to start up some speech therapy because they were noticing a delay at his new daycare. Speech did not go well they thought the delay was a symptom caused by his behaviour which led to the question what is causing his um, different behaviour. Then it got to the point he wasn't safe at daycare and the staff coordinated and got him a resource teacher (special helper) for at daycare and then after doing some assessments and he had some more issues at daycare and he got an occupational therapist for at daycare and an appointment with a behvioural specialist. The behavioural specialist is the one who diagnosed him after about a year of observation. During this whole process he's had to be moved twice to a bigger room because he is too advanced and gets bored in some areas, and too intense for the kids his age. The biggest problem with that is just that the speech, social, and behavioural delays are holding him back from moving any further right now. Not that I want him to he's already the smallest kiddo in his class and they're moving him again to the preschool room soon and those kids are huge. Anyway it's been a very confusing process they haven't even said where he is on the spectrum yet and we're waiting for the program and services they've signed us up with so everything is kind of up in the air right now. Even though the word autism got thrown into the mix a year ago I'm still not processing it very well, I've read a little but it's hard to find consistant reliable information on it, his OT is bringing me some reading material tomorrow. Anyway I'm in Ontario as well nice to meet you ladies.

Natasha - posted on 01/12/2011

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Hi Cheryl!
Both of my sons have autism, though it took abou 2 years a piece for the school board to get any formal diagnosis. I'm just glad that their school has been very cooperative through the years while we waited for their diagnosis.
My oldest son Raine, was diagnosed in 2008 with ASD, PDD-NOS, LD and ADHD. My youngest son was just diagnosed this past November with ASD, Asperger's, ADHD and a Developmental Coordination Disorder.
I can also understand your "Denial", my parents aren't the greatest supporters, they just don't seem to get it. But I've always been the individual who sticks to her guns, so whatever comments they have, I ignore. But my biggest supporter is my husband. Not only did he move from the U.S, to marry me and live here, but he took on te role as father to my two sons that have special needs.
Well, if you need anymore support and/or info, please feel free to message me!

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