Autism

Sheryl - posted on 04/12/2009

Quoting Eva:

Hi Alexandra,

You have just described my son to a T. He is three years old. Has been educationally diagnosed with autism and medically diagnosed as "delayed in speech and social skills". He has a speech therapist that he has been working with for about 8 months now, but has still not said a word. He also has an ocupational therapist and special ed teacher to assist him. These all being provided by the school board. Our problem is his frustration. We can't communicate so he feels like I don't understand what he wants or needs when I tell him no and gets angry. Public places are hard since he does not like to transition from one activity to another. He has lots and lots of energy. Let me know what's going on with your daugther and see if we can possibly help each other. Have a good one.

Our son, who is now 7 1/2, was just they way your children sound.  He also went to school, had his own aide, and saw specialists on a regular basis.  He had seen the speech therapist for almost 2 years before he started talking.  And, now, we can't keep him quiet, which is great!  I just wanted to suggest maybe a little sign language to help with the frustration.  Maybe you are already doing it, but it really helped Ben when he couldn't communicate any other way.  We didn't learn alot, maybe only 20 - 25 signs, but they helped tremendously!  His favorite was "more" and "milk"!  He also had a book with pictures that he could point to.  One might be tired, take a break, eat, etc.  It really seemed to help with frustration, since he could give us clues as to what he needed or wanted.  We did a lot of rides when Ben was little - and we eventually found a couple places to stop (a county park and a playground.)  After stopping a couple of times, we would get out and maybe walk around.  The more we stopped, the further he would go and the more he would do.  Eventually we added more places, and ones that had people and were busy, like the library (he still loves books!) and any store.  It worked for us - I hope it works for others!

Kimberly - posted on 04/09/2009

Our daughter is now over 5, but was diagnosed as HFA at 4.5. We knew she had a speech delay earlier (age 3) but the social difficulties didn't appear until later, and in her case appeared as "aggression" that no one could understand. My best advice is to take your child to famililar places - develop routines for each place - and try a new place every once in a while when you are both in a good frame of mind so that you can help make it a positive experience. The more comfortable she is with different places the less restricted you will feel in where you can go. It can help to look at pictures of the place ahead of time, investigate anything that your child might be concerned about (for my daughter restroom issues are a big deal, e.g.) and talk to her about the new place before you go - even if you don't think she's understanding all of it she will get more than you think. It takes a little advanced planning and extra preparation, but in the long run it is worth it.

As for all the looky-loos, two things: 1) Realize that this is a normal human reaction on their part. We don't like to admit it, but we are hard-wired to look at anything that is "out of the ordinary"...think car accident on the side of the road. Part of you doesn't want to look, but you will anyway. It's instinct and part of our self-preservation modes. 2) Get a thick skin, and focus on your child regardless of what other people are doing around you. If she is enjoying the experience, share her joy; if she is anxious, help her calm down; etc. The truth is that autism is becoming so common that the world is going to have to get used to these kids, and we can help them do that by supporting our children and educating others. If they are so rude as to say something negative (hasn't happened to me, but it has to some friends of mine) my new favorite response is to hold up a hand toward them and say, "I've got it." It means I know you don't understand what's happening here, but I do, and I'm with my child, so back off, yet it does not come across as "rude", so much as "in control".

 Hope this helps. I remember the initial diagnosis made me feel like I was living in a whole new world, with a new kid that I didn't know, but as we go along I realize that she's still my daughter that I have nurtured from the day we knew we were expecting, and I can keep learning more about how to support her. So I would say it doesn't necessarily get easier, but you will learn new ways to support your child as you go along. There are a ton of resources out there, read everything you can.

Leona - posted on 03/10/2009

I remember those days.  When my son was very young autisim was pretty darn rare, and boy did we get looks, EVERYWHERE!  Luckily I have other children and funny as it may sound they took greater offense than I did and would often just say...Stop staring!  was pretty funny looking back now.  It never really bothered me often.  Maybe they will learn something if they look hard enough!  You know you have the best kid on earth and don't let others stop you from going ANYWHERE you want to go!  

Kelly - posted on 03/02/2009

Hello, my son was diagnosed mildly autistic with speech problems when he was 2 years old. He seen a speech pathologist and had people come into our home 2 times a week to work on his speech and also his frustration. I'm writing this to let everyone know that sometimes there is a light at the end of this scary tunnel. My son is now 6 and a half and after only 2 years of speech therapy and early childhood special eduacation, he is a whole new boy. Or maybe I'll say the boy who left us. He has made a complete turnaround and while they won't change the diagnosis, he in my mind has made leaps and bounds with his speech and learning as is right where he is supposed to be. I just wanted to share this info about getting help as soon as you see that something may not be just right with your child. Because the sooner the better! Good Luck to everyone!

Maureen - posted on 02/05/2009

Hi, I'm new here. I have two boys, one of 17 and Archie who is 5 and has autism with global delay. He was diagnosed early, due to the fact that he couldn't walk until he was around 18 months old, had to wear special boots, and was late reaching all his other milestones. He was very closed off to everything around him from a young age, and as he got older, was quite challenging, as a result, people around me gradually stopped visiting, no-one would babysit... it was hard, especially being on my own with him (his dad left when he was a few weeks old - probably to get some sleep!!). He now goes to a special school and has come on leaps and bounds. His speech is a lot better and he can make himself understood - which is less frustrating for him. Things do get better. Honest. I wish you and everyone else here all the very best. xx

Melanie - posted on 01/28/2009

Hello,  I am a mother of a near 3 year old son, Chase who has only last month been diagnoses with the exact same condition as your daughter. He also has some speech delays and has trouble interacting with other children. He also has obsessions that consume his daily routine. At the moment it is tools, gloves and ladders! This is all he wants to play with!! He has such a collection! Does your daughter have any such obsessions?

I would love to chat more in the future. Mel

Melanie - posted on 01/28/2009

Hello,  I am a mother of a near 3 year old son, Chase who has only last month been diagnoses with the exact same condition as your daughter. He also has some speech delays and has trouble interacting with other children. He also has obsessions that consume his daily routine. At the moment it is tools, gloves and ladders! This is all he wants to play with!! He has such a collection! Does your daughter have any such obsessions?

I would love to chat more in the future. Mel

Julie - posted on 01/27/2009

hi everyone.I to have a daughter diagnosed at 4 and a half with high functioning autism,exactly as you described.She just recently turned five, very happy and always on the go.Very tiring but I'm sure you know how that feels nice to hear I'm not the only busy one.lol

Eva - posted on 01/20/2009

Also, starting the potty training process. Is your daughter potty trained? If so, any helpful hints?

Eva - posted on 01/20/2009

Hi Alexandra,



You have just described my son to a T. He is three years old. Has been educationally diagnosed with autism and medically diagnosed as "delayed in speech and social skills". He has a speech therapist that he has been working with for about 8 months now, but has still not said a word. He also has an ocupational therapist and special ed teacher to assist him. These all being provided by the school board. Our problem is his frustration. We can't communicate so he feels like I don't understand what he wants or needs when I tell him no and gets angry. Public places are hard since he does not like to transition from one activity to another. He has lots and lots of energy. Let me know what's going on with your daugther and see if we can possibly help each other. Have a good one.