Pamela - posted on 11/09/2011 ( 26 moms have responded )
He has been in outpatient counseling since age 4 for behavioral issues. His father was arrested for Domestic Violence and we split, in our case there was difficulty "seeing" and getting the Dx because the clinicians were only seeing that he had been traumatized, which he had.
His dad has Aspergers, Tourettes, Epilepsy. Finally, they began to explore that perhaps there was indeed a neurological thing in addition to the "trauma model" at play here.
My problem is that at school he is mostly doing well. Some problems there: He still cannot tie his shoes and is almost 8. He still cannot swing on a swing set. The kids are beginning to make fun of him. No matter how many times I have tried to teach him he has a poor frustration tolerance and gets impatient if he can't do it correctly the first time.
When he comes home from school he is hair-trigger irritable and becomes VERY agressive towards me if things don't go his way or if there is any deviation from what he thought the routine was going to be or go like. He can hit, throw chairs, bite me, punch me, kick me when he has meltdowns. There is no reasoning with him when he is like this. The more I try and talk with him the more escalated he gets.
I have tried all incentive programs, sticker charts, time-outs and I am not a permissive parent that doesnt follow through. I am just like super nanny, I have put him back into time outs many many many times. But they do not work. It does not extinguish his assaultiveness. Traditional play therapy is not extingishing his meltdowns.
Is this just my child? Please be blunt. What do I do? I am a single mother I am so worn down. I want to help my child but don't even know how to. The therapist don't know how to.
We just got this diagnosis 5 months ago. Get this, the school system has him on a 504 and says since he does "so well" during the school day that they feel he doens't really need the support of a sensory diet, the Wilbarger program that was recommended or anything else anymore!!! They talk about him as if he is neurotypical. And yet everyday in walks to my home a TOTALLY differnt child.
I feel like I am going insane. I have no support, and wouldn't you know it, there are no other special needs kids where I live. I am the only parent (apparently) in this school dealing with this.
I feel so alone.
My child is the only 7 year old that still assaults me and I don't know what to do to help "fix" him? the counselors don't either, I am scared.
The "Tenex" he takes hasn't done anything for him either......