Shasta - posted on 01/25/2011 ( 31 moms have responded )
My 8 year old son was diagnosed as ADHD when he was 6. Just a short while ago, he was finally diagnosed with Asperger's which I had known all along by researching it, but finally received the official diagnosis.
My son is ALWAYS in trouble in school. He gets next to no class time at all and is taught mainly one on one by a resource teacher, intervention worker or teachers aid. I have had to leave work so many times to pick him up because the school says he is out of control. He takes off and hides in school, he speaks out and disrupts the entire class, he crawls under the desks during class time, rolls himself up in the mat in the classroom and just flat out refuses to work sometimes. He is in grade 3 and can only read at a grade 1 level. I have him on medication for ADHD and have tried many variations and dosages. This one we are on works the best now, but it isn't fool proof. I know they are using the resources they have, but can't help but feel like they somehow blame me for his actions at school because of the upset phone calls I receive. I have explained to them about his diagnosis and keep being told "We have had autistic children here before and they never acted like this." I am at a loss. I deal with his melt downs and defiance etc at home too. I know it is happening and I know why. But I still feel like the staff at the school somehow blame me. I see so much potential in him. Aside from his reading deficiency, he is very smart and advanced in math and sciences. Is there something I should be doing with him to help him with his behavior at school? Is there anyone else going through this too? I feel so helpless.
To add on what I have been going through with his school, on the 2nd I got extremely upset at them for how they treated him. When he got home, he was upset because he had gotten on trouble in school. I asked him what had happened. He said they got mad because he refused to go to the classroom and do his work. I asked him why not and he said he didn't want to because he was so upset. I asked him what had made him so upset. He said that his teacher told him to hurry up with his lunch so he could get ready and go outside to play. (You have to understand that we are in Canada and have a TON of snow and it is cold....my son is like his dad in the sense that in the summer, you have to force him into the house and in the winter, you have to pry his clutching fingers off the door frame just to get him to go out.) The school was upset by his obvious "defiance" to not hurry and go outside because it took away from the teacher's lunch break. He was then told he would need to "make up" the outdoor time. When the bell rang and all the children came in, my son was made to stay outside an additional 10 minutes with the T.A. to teach him a lesson. I was outraged. All the children were brought inside and here is my poor son being made to stand outside the school doors and being told that he may not enter as he stands there and cries. I told the school that it was their own fault that he didn't want to go to class afterwards and that I had better not EVER hear of them doing something like that again. I don't think I was really that nice when I said it. I was pretty upset. They just seemed indignant like I was over reacting. OMG. People who claim to be professionals make me so angry when they show absolutely no common sense. This is a child with ASD. You can't try and "teach him a lesson" with negative re-enforcement. He will just become even more defiant and stubborn. The behavior will be far worse than what he was being punished for in the first place. Kids with ASD need positive re-enforcement. Their brains don't work the same as ours do. Why can't these self proclaimed "highly trained professionals" understand that small fact?