adhd/aspergers/bipolar

Sue - posted on 09/26/2009

Huh. Been a member here for a while but never actually read nor participated...after a tough week, here you are all talking about my issue! Thanks.

My son is 13. ADHD/anxiety/some LDs. Attends therapeutic day schools because the public schools couldn't manage him. Been told he is NOT bipolar but spent years treating the symptoms with seroquel, then abilify, then risperdahl, nothing seemed to help though we did have a sweet spot for a while on the seroquel while coming down from a dosage. Now he takes no ADHD (stimulants) and we just finished with zoloft, gone to lexapro (in addition to tenex and welbutrin).

Last hospitalization (this comes about after he gets so out of control that he breaks things, is violent, disrespectful etc. and everyone from the school social worker to the doctors tell me to call the police who then send him to the hospital which has NEVER actually had a positive impact) they tell me it is PDD/NOS. After years and years of asking if it is a spectrum disorder.

Anyway, now I'm at a total loss at what to do because hormonally he's a teenager but emotionally he's like, 8 years old. He talks crudely to everyone at home and school, is obsessed with the spontaneous erections he gets but can't ignore them so he talks about them creeping everyone out. Wants to cut off his penis because it bugs him. Exposes himself to "raise the bar" with me and his sister.

Honestly, I'm at my wits' end. He's supposed to graduate this year but is so clearly not ready for high school. I sort of can't stand him half the time but still want to protect him and just want to rip my hair out.

OH boy I feel a little better for venting. Thanks a bunch, hope to become part of your group here.

Julia - posted on 09/25/2009

I really feel for you. My twin identical boys are now 17 yrs. old and I have struggled for many years to get correct diagnoses on them. Finally, I have found a psy that seems to know what he is doing. We have known since the boys were 4 that they were ADHD. At 5 1/2 we were sent to specialist at Duke University Children's Hospital because the boys have a rare brain disorder known as Arnold Chairi Malformation. Then when they hit around 11 we were told they were also bipolar, ok, I am bipolar, but I did not buy it with both of them. They are identical in just about all aspects, but there are differences and the one didn't quite meet the criteria and the other one questionable. However, like you I could not get docs to diagnosis this because of their age. Beware, when they hit the teenage yrs., around 14 they really started showing the mood disorders. One has alot of social problems. One has been hospitalized twice, the other one once. We just had them tested again this past summer, because I have been really concerned. One of them likes to talk alot of hurting himself. The other talks of running away. One always is depressed and the other has real anger issues. The first son is officially diagnosed as Asperger's/ADHD/Bipolar. The second son is officially diagnosed with ADHD/mulitple mood disorders/anger management. They do have the brain disorder and because it is so rare they are not sure if it is an affect from it or not. There are alot of unanswered questions still. Here are a few suggestions. First, have the school themselves test him academically. This can help get him an IEP (Individual Education Plan). Now, you may have to fight for this!! I sure did. Second, see if the psy will do the battery of tests on him for mood disorders. Again, because of his age, this will probably be a fight! Third, do not give up. Education wise this is going to be a struggle. There are milestones in school that he will probably struggle. The twins it was 3rd grade, especially 6th grade, and now 9th grade. The boys had to repeat 6th and 9th grade. Although they are 17, they are currently in the 9th grade until the second semester, then they will have enough credits to be sophomores. The first son is in special vocational courses. The second son, we are trying to mainstream him with alot of modifications. I am not really satisfied that it is the right route for him yet. Third, I would hold alot of parent/teacher/principal conferences. Let them know that you are not going to give up. I have a friend whose son is now 19 and graduated this past summer. He has asperger's and she had to fight also. Unfortunately, the boys regular physician actually told me that the reason they do not like to diagnose so early is because of insuranc companies and labeling. I know this is a long response, but I hope that it helps some. I intend to keep up the fight and it sounds like you are too!!

Heather - posted on 09/25/2009

i am bipolar, and with a strong family link, i watch my oldest child very carefully...she has been diagnosed with ADD, however she also has bipolar attributes. the two can be very easy to mix up because the manic phase of bipolar looks an acts very much like ADD/ADHD. I do know that our dr has said it is rare for bipolar to appear in someone so young, and you mentioned St. John's Wart...being a herbal anti-depressant I would strongly suspect that it would cause manic symptoms if given to a true bipolar. take heart, if it is bipolar, the disorder is extremely treatable with the right meds, everyone is different. Has he ever had periods of extreme depression lasting 2 weeks or more, followed by a marked hightened mood lasting 2 weeks or more in 3 months? that's textbook bipolar, now i know we are not all textbook cases, i'm certainly not, but keep pushing, and let me know how it goes, like i said my 14 year old struggles with (supposedly ADD and Depression also....awfully fishy smelling to me, but we'll see)

good luck and God bless

lol..i scrolled down before posting this and read something that i wanted to quickly encourage you on...i know as parents we like to shy away from meds..i know i have..however as a bipolar young mom myself, i know how HORRIBLE it feels inside me when i am not managed with medication...when put on meds i felt like a normal human being again, this could be what your son is feeling, and causing the depression, i agree that if bipolar does run inthe family, that it's very likely the actual diagnosis. it's scary to put our kids on meds, but believe me, do it for them. hope that helps a little

Sharlene - posted on 09/24/2009

well i thank you for your advise i am glad i am not the only one out there that feels like oh i cant even think of a word to describe how i feel sometimes with these doctors. our physc says there has to be bipolar in the family before we can look down this road, i do know depression runs in both sides of the family and i do know that my son is a very kind soul and gets hurt by comments from people easily. he does not make freinds easily either. . i just wish some days that a hug and kiss would make everything go away. i dont want to put him on medication, but we cant have this time bomb clicking away. he can be fine and happy, then bang he becomes angry and then very depressed and he wont talk to anybody, i know that the next few years are going to get worse and will be very volitatle as the hormones etc kick in. it is just nice to know that you have someone to talk to who understands thanks for your input

Suzanne - posted on 09/23/2009

Reading your post was like reliving the past 15 yrs with my son, who is now 18 yrs old. After numerous treatments/drugs/hospitalizations/schools, he responded to Lamictal and a very structured small group setting school with special ed. teacher who had specialized in psychiatric training. He is extremely bright and needed academic stimulation/ed. but can't to this day handle groups of more than 4/5. Our experience has been to stay away from anti anxiety or ADHD meds. It only caused the root dx: bipolar disorder 1 symptons to become unmgable. Often Bipolar is misdx as ADHD and depression. The so called experts don't like to dx Bipolar in kids but the disorder affects children too. Also, the age period of 8 til 15/16 was the toughest because of hormones/puberty. Now, we are dealing with how to mge and live with it than killing himself. Trust your gut feelings. remember(with pics/videos the peaceful and loving times together in order to get thru the ugly hours/days even wks. But those too will pass. Trust me I lived thru it all with my boy. sorry I am not much of a writer but hope this helps in some way.