am i right to chase a diagnosis?

Becky - posted on 03/01/2010

Go with your gut. We didn't need to have a "diagnosis" in order to get services from the early childhood program. However, you're son is 7. ADHD and AS look very similar. You need to have a board certified neuro psychologist do an overall evaluation of him. When we did ours, the bcneuro psy. did a questionnaires for all his teachers, questionaires with us starting back from his infancy, and then did 3 days of testing/observing with our son. When we met back together with her she had a very good idea of who our son was. There were no major red flags based on who we know our son to be vs. what her observations were. We felt assured and comfortable with her diagnosis of mild autism and asperger syndrome. With that diagnosis we were able to have confidence in our next steps in getting him the help he needed. It was a piece of paper that we could show family, friends and most importantly, the school, that this is indeed our child. We didn't see all of the specialists that you are currently seeing, just one. The Board Certified Pediatric Neuro Psychologist. Trust me, everything that you are doing will benefit your son in the long run. Don't let the teachers make you doubt or make you feel less than intelligent! You're his mother not some physco! Persue it because in 20 years from now, you will regret not doing it! BTW, my little guy has the autism phrase in his IEP. Yes, it was hard to swallow the autism word but it's not about my junk it's about getting my son the help he needs to be successful in this world. My son now has a paraprofessional who assists him and the whole class. He is growing in ways he wouldn't have if I didn't push of a diagnosis. He has the right label, Asperger Syndrome, instead of a behavior disorder.
Best wishes to you in you and your family's journey!!

Tasha - posted on 02/28/2010

To add a little to that NO ONE wants their child to have a disability but in the same retrospect if they do they deserve help. So you are just doing your job as a parent to insure that you child gets to lead as much of a normal productive life as they possibly can, this is our job. So to hell with whoever says to drop it, A mothers intuition is an amazing thing and if it comes back after all of the testing that he doesn't have a disability then Thank God and if it comes back that he does then you can smile at your self and know you did the right thing for your child,and that he will get the help he deserves as we have to protect and defend them as they can not do it themselves. Good luck!

Tasha - posted on 02/28/2010

I WOULD NOT DROP IT!!! Here is a little bit of my story.....I have been on the doctors for 4 years and they are just now coming to the conclusion that I had already asked about 4 years ago....My son would not talk, no cooing or babbling as a baby. This concerned me and I would mention it to his doctor all the time. Over the next few years Chadd's vocabulary has grown but he has to go to speech and language as he is very behind for his age.His teacher says what gets him by most of the time is that he has an extraordinary rote memory, but then some of his other skills are that of a 24-36 month old so then it takes his skills that he is strong in down. He just turned 5 I have him potty trained for the 4th time now. After me being so persistent the doctor had said something about a survey of 20 questions and if he scored more than 3 he had to go to an ASD clinic at Easter Seals. My son scored an 8. I just felt like, if they would have listened to me he could have gotten help sooner. I am still waiting on the appointment to be set up by them. He has horrible horrible tantrums, he cusses when he is in his rages, he throws himself to the ground,throws things, screams, kicks, until he comes out of it there is no reasoning with him. People at the stores are so VERY VERY rude! My daughter who is 7 has ADHD, so I have my hands full. I actually had one lady come from several isles over in a grocery store to tell ask me if I knew that the stores had a bathroom....My son had just turned two and was sitting in the cart throwing one of his fits. Kicking me and screaming and I was using a calm voice just telling him it will be okay trying to soothe him. Then over came the lady and that just tripped my trigger like I didn't know he was throwing a fit...ummm...hello I'm being kicked and he is right in front of my face I'm pretty sure I am aware of what he is doing....I told her I am NOT taking my son to the bathroom to beat his butt to make her happy and that she needs to take her ass back over to her cart and finish her shopping and leave us the hell alone. People have no understanding of what it is like to have a child with disabilities if they have never been around or had a child of their own with them. Which is sad for them because then they judge you, your child and your parenting skills. I love my children more than life itself and all I can say is God is the only one who can judge and he gave us our children for a reason. He knows we will take care of them and love them unconditionally no matter what. Best of luck to all of you and your families. I will keep you posted on Chadd's progress as soon as we go to the ASD clinic whenever it is scheduled......~Tasha~

Rebecca - posted on 02/28/2010

First of all listen to yourself! You will know if it is not right. Second Schools dont really help kids learn if they have a behaviour problem where as if they have a diagnosed learning problem then they have to help. (no matter what the schools say in regards to adhd or other behaviour problems the resources are not enough to go round so of course this kids would not be first on the list) And as usual teachers try to fob of questions and to hard basket.



Teachers do not understand any type of learning or behavioural problem they did not get taught what to do or how to handle it at university so they will either say listen to your doctor or do you want your kid to be sick (classic example of not knowing and understanding what asd is and the effects it has not just only on the child but for mum and family and how addressing issues can make such a big change)



As for doctors they cant diagnose so dont bother with them just use them for a referral and take it on the the people that matter



My son screamed for the first year of his like i went from doctor to doctor hospital to hospital noboby would tell me what was wrong. I worked part of it out trial and error at a year old especially when he started getting rash around his mouth. He was lactose intolerent and after a hair sample knowing he is wheat intolerant as well. He was a better in the sense of not sreaming all the time but still unhappy with inconsistant routine (he never had one and i have never been the type to have one) still no social skills behaviour problems and the way we go places and do tasks. I did not really pursue doctors after that until one day at playgroup 2 years later now after nearly 2 years (5 in july) we are still trying to get him all the assistance he needs. He will be a few months away of getting the picture of where they will help him whether a diagnosis or they say borderline (4 years of intense therapy on my behalf) and he will not get all the benefits available to them before they start school which might seem to be a waste of time now but once knowing what each professional in their field and not by any doctor you yourself know the extent of where the problem lies and (although you always knew what his day to day life consisted problems and routines) you get a bigger picture and if speech therapy or any other services are used along the way and they benefit from it is better than nothing. Still at this point to have recomendations from the professional doctor to make the school aware of issues so as they progress through the school especially by middle primary even as they say "normal" kids have trouble by this point so if our children see things differently even seem brighter than "normal" kids but unable to see things the way that "teacher - do you want your kid to be sick" what chance do our children have.



sorry to ramble on but i agree dont drop it unless it is on their heads good luck

Patricia - posted on 02/28/2010

I KNOW EXZACTLY HOW YOU FEEL!!!!!! I hae been right where you are. My 9 year old has classic autistic signs, how ever some feel he is retarted on some level. I went thru all sorts of mayhem with the school last year, due to issues with my son. The guidance councelor suggested that I hae him take a few tests that would help put me in a better direction to gain professional help. He too THEN felt my son was autistic. Well imagine my surprise when the teachers answers to the tests did not match mine, and he called me in to tell me that there WASENT ANYTHING WRONG with my son. According to the test scores from the TEACHERS. Mine, nor my parents, mattered in the equasion aparently. Then my favorite part, he said he felt my son had ADHD and that if I would just medicate him, he would be a better student. FYI he is NOT hyper active. If he dosent under stand what is being taught his attention goes else where. I cant tell you what I said, or I would be reported on here. But I did get up and walk out on him, and he chased me down the hall, and thru the parking lot to my truck. I did tell him thank you for wasting my time, and to get the heck away from me and my truck. At the time, ALL I could invision at THAT moment was him under my back tire. that was basically the door shut in my face, and idk about you, but pediatricians are NO help. He will catch up they say. I gave up on that rout along time ago. I have been fighting the school ever since, and continue to do so. He is 9 and reads at a 1st grade level, they keep him in all general 3rd classes except reaing, he is in special ed. The school has people reading his work to him, as oposed to teaching him to read more proficantly on his own. I want him put in remedial classes ALL the way around, where I feel he will have a better chance of doing the work on his own. They say he understands so he is passing in the classes. UNFORTUNATLEY I dont see it that way. They give him grades that he dosent earn, so when I complain to the board they think I am NUTTS when I tell them he is NOT being taught, and he has A's and B's. They cover their butts I tell you. So at this point I am facing having to take him back out again. And this will be the LAST time. At this point, I really dont see the GOOD in obtaining a official diagnosis for him because I dont see it doing any good, other than labeling him. I KNOW what he is, and if I am going to be on my own with all of this then why should it matter to the out side world? If you ever need an understanding ear, I am here. You can find me at Trisha Dias on FB

Susan - posted on 02/28/2010

Angela, three of my sons have Asperger's. The oldest and the youngest are most severely affected--the oldest (now 18yo) is quite close to classical autism in some ways although his speech has never been delayed. I started mentioning problems to his doctor when he was still a baby and was repeatedly assured that there was nothing to worry about. When he was 5yo (and spending most of his day at kindergarten under the tables, crying) a pediatrician assured me that gifted kids are sometimes immature and related a story about how he started a fire at an airport when he was five--and he went on to become a doctor. Things went downhill for my son in school for the next few years, while we continued to be told that his issues were related to giftedness and then Attention Deficit Disorder. Finally his social behavior was so atypical for his age that the school wanted to send him to a center for emotionally disturbed children. Right about that time we got the autistic spectrum diagnosis. Basically we had a child who was developmentally about 4yo in a third grade gifted classroom. Despite being very intelligent, he was totally overwhelmed--and it showed.

It's quite common for kids with Asperger's not to get a diagnosis until they're 8 or 9yo. Some kids aren't identified until they're in their teens. The lack of many classical symptoms of autism causes people who aren't familiar with the disorder to misdiagnose it. Unfortunately, that includes pediatricians and teachers. They think that all kids with autism look like kids with severe symptoms, and that simply isn't true.

You're doing the right thing to take your son to the specialists who can help you find out whether there's a problem or not. FWIW, the latest guidance for pediatricians is to refer children for evaluation if the parents suspect there might be a problem. The doctor really doesn't have the training or enough time with the child to make an accurate diagnosis--especially if high-functioning autism is in play--whereas parents almost always pick up on the core social deficits.

Here's hoping that your son's issues *aren't* caused by autism, but whatever the problem is, your job as his mother is to help him to the best of your ability. Don't ever let anybody make you feel guilty for doing your job.

Sue

Brenda - posted on 02/28/2010

Follow your instints. There are there for a reason.
My doctor did the same to us. I knew it, she said I was a drama queen (yes her words)
That was when he was 16 months old...gee about 2 weeks after that dam MMR shot. By the way he was 100% fine before that!!! Talking, playing with his twin, engaging with us, 100% eye contact. He is now 11 and was given the label of Serve Austim at 2. We wasted precious time that could have been in therapy. Good luck! And just rememebr no matter what happens, he loves you , needs you just as much as you need and love him.

Alison - posted on 02/28/2010

I think you follow your gut, if you think that there is more going on then continue until you have answers. I don't think anyone wants to go through what you have, but if you are not going to advocate for your own child, than who will? If you are not satisfied with the answers from the doctor, get a second opinion or see a specialist.

Melissa - posted on 02/28/2010

I went through the same thing, he was finally diagnosed when he was almost 6 yrs old. Now he is 11 and we still have problems with his school saying that he is not ASD. Yet all three doc's (all specialist in the field) diagnosed him!! His school wants to label him as ADHD... So I would say no u are not wrong.. It took me many years to get his diagnosis and even though it did not solve the problem. It made it easier to put a name to it. So don't back down if you feel that you are right in your thinking...

Connie - posted on 02/27/2010

My son is almost 16 years old, and he was diagnosed with Aspergers. He was diagnosed at the end of 5th grade, which was late compared to some. Children with Aspergers lack social skills and can exhibit obsessive behaviors. His teachers and I knew that something was wrong. I did take my son to many doctors, but some were too quick to write a prescription. I wish that he had been diagnosed sooner, so that the public school could have made accomidations for him. Now that he has been diagnosed, he is in the special education program at his high school. He has been taking anti-depression medicine for three years now. I have tried many alternative medicines, but they did not work for him.

You should trust your instinct, and find out what is happening to your child. The sooner you know what is going on, the sooner you can get him the services needed.

Lisa - posted on 02/27/2010

hi my name is lisa i have a 5 yr old daughter and ive ben fighting for her since she was 8 months old to cut long story short finally after being told i was over reacting and paranoid i still felt iknew something was wrong at 4 she was diagnosed with ADHD,global developmental delay, socail interaction disorder, oppositional difient disorder, sight and hearing impairment and up until 18/02/10 she wasnt getting any help at school ihad been fighting for a statement so on the 8th of feb i was on itv central and on lincs fm and in our local paper and on 22/02/10 i got a call and now she gets 20 hours a week but yesterday got results of the autuisim test and she has moderate autisim too she is such a complex little girl i knew she was different but if i hadnt of fought and listened to the doctors telling me she was fine she probably would of been blind and nearly death and would only of started to find out now the early years are so important and mum knows best you live with your child dont give up fight good luck take care x

Anna - posted on 02/27/2010

Do NOT drop it! If your instincts are telling you that something is going on, then SOMETHING IS GOING ON! And please don't be intimidated by the 'experts'. They are experts in their field of study, but YOU are an expert on your child. I learned that with my now 17 year old son-- I KNEW it wasn't right that he lost speech, and was withdrawn. After several tests--during which everyone agreed something was happening, but they didn't know what--we got the diagnosis of autism. You do not need to feel ashamed that you are trying to help your child. The teacher has to worry about her students for 8 hours of the day, for one school year. As parents, WE have to worry about our children 24 hours a day for their entire lives. Follow your instincts, please!

Amy - posted on 02/26/2010

You absolutely need a diagnosis! Not to label your child, but to qualify for the services, the support system available, and better meet his needs! And the sooner the better! Fight! It is tough I know, but you have to do it! You will see the light at the end of the tunnel! And there is hope for "healing" Autism and improving other special needs, too, that will make your child and your family find peace! I know! I have been through it!

Nita - posted on 02/26/2010

People say a lot of things with out really knowing whats going on. You don't want there to be anything wrong with your beautiful child but you do want to give him the best life you can. This means exploring all options because if there is something else going on you do not want to rob him of the help he will get by finding out about it. It's your job and do not let others make you feel bad about doing your job and finding out and understanding everything you can about your son no matter what it is.

Sarah Jane - posted on 02/26/2010

not at all, i was told for two years i was a paranoid mum, until my son was 2 yrs and finally diagnosed with cystic Fibrosis. i am now going through the same with my other son, who was born with Down Syndrome and I am seeing signs of Autism now he has reached 3 yrs and i have informed everyone who has dealings with him and I will continue to monitor it. doctors dont see the behaviour/problems or have the intuition as we do, they just go by their medical books!! you hang in there and hope you get a diagnosis soon!!! lol xxx

Dana - posted on 02/26/2010

My oldest son had the same issue and when I talked to his dr, She told me basically the same thing. I took him to a psychologist and we did get the diagnosis of Aspergers syndrome. You have to get the answer. If you dont fight for your child, who will? The good news my son is now almost 18 and he is doing very well and he will graduate high school in 1 and 1/2 years. Be positive the answers are there. I'll pray for you and your family.

Jessica - posted on 02/26/2010

So much good advice and support, I don't feel like mine's worth more than 2 cents! But don't be afraid of a "label"--it's a diagnosis, which is the key to a world of information and resources. With a diagnosis, you can get the special help your child needs from the schools, your insurance company, etc.. ASDs and Asperger's are like a language of their own, and once you know that's the language you have to learn to help your kid, you *can*, instead of just floundering without any idea of what's the matter with your child, or worse, thinking that there's something wrong with you as a parent. There isn't!

My best advice is always to do your homework--read, read, read! First, it'll help you diagnose to your own satisfaction, which will give you the willpower to stand up to those who still think these disorders are "all in overwrought parents' minds". Second, it'll give you a window into your child's mind and thinking process, so you can respond more effectively. And third, it'll equip you with the vocabulary that specialists are using, so nobody can talk circles around you to intimidate, and you can keep up on the developments in treatment. Best of luck!

Mary - posted on 02/25/2010

Please have him checked I thought that my son was autistic for many years I was told things like do you want to add one more thing to his list of disablities, and he can't have autism because he is always hugging people.

Don't believe it I finally got him diagnosed when he was 15 and so many doors have been opened up to him. He is finally getting the help he really needs

Laurie - posted on 02/25/2010

Chase away!!!! My son had a wonderful Pediatrician who wanted him evaluated at 2 years old because he had no speech, didn't respond to his name and he said whats the worst wasting a couple of hours or meeting a problem early head on. The best decision we made otherwise I don't know where he would be today. He is 5 years old now, has PDD and ADHD but is in Kindergarten and learning every day. Not every day is easy, but we must use our judgement regardless of what people say, we are our childrens advocate. We know our children and if we have to fight, we fight for whats best for them. Try a ped neurologist.

Ana - posted on 02/25/2010

hang in there, its hard.. I know it!But you can do it

Johnna - posted on 02/25/2010

I would suggest that you NOT have the school department do the testing. seek an independent psychiatrist to do the evaluation. Remember that we are in a recession and school depts are cut to the bone and with the ever increasing numbers of kids being dxd with an ASD, they are at their max and I feel have a stake in NOT appropriately dxing kids...especially those considered to be mild.

Christine - posted on 02/25/2010

We have gone thru exactly what you describe! Our son is now 11 and his elementary school was never supportive of a diagnosis they would clam up and stop telling us his daily problems.

I believe you....you do not want your son to be "sick" and he isn't sick... not even if he has ASD. But as I teacher I can attest that we are not trained to know what we are looking at with regard to Autism. Therefore please discount the teachers remarks respectively. Besides kids with autism are often healthier overall compared to peers.



What I want you to hold on to is the understanding that your son will keep changing as he grows and his condition will also keep changing in appearance. By treating the ADHD many of the ASD or PDD-NOS earmarks or "symptoms" will abate. Keep a strict eye on your son's "deficets" and keep enriching them. Things will get better! I promise!

I am glad you got a second opinion...they are crucial! So are thirds and fourths if necessary. It is also very good that you are getting a multi-factored evaluation. Don't feel bad about that!! If it shows nothing great!



It may show that he lacks in only one thing and anyway you and your husband will then be better equipped when you head back to school and have a meeting with the counselor, principal and teacher!

You may want to ask for a 504 plan for your son; which will state exactly what the teacher will and will not expect from your son.



Letting it "drop" will not help your son. I have seen it happen. Stay vigilant and remember you are your child's advocate! Be a scientist and see if he is reacting to artificial: colors, sweetners or preservatives (check out the Feingold diet). Many children exhibit ASD behaviours but are really sensitive to artificial things in food.



This is alot of work on your part but I promise you it will pay off. Keep us posted and I will keep supporting you all the way! WE need more mom's like you!



Our son was diagnosed with PDD-NOS and ADHD at age 8. Our 1st, 2nd,3rd, 4th and 5th opinions were by Psychologists and -they varied from Maniac/dep, to OCD,ADD, ODD and one told us he had a personality disorder. They didn't know what they were looking at.

We took our son to a larger town and a Neuro-behaviourist who specialised in Autism for a giant hospital. We got our diagnosis and our son is doing great. Most people never see anything wrong with him and have already forgotten what he was like at 7.

Hang in there!!!

Lisa - posted on 02/25/2010

hi angela... i have a 4 year old son with a diagnosis ... i knew there was something wrong from him being about 2 year old ... what i will say to you is no one knows your son like you do ... if you feel there is something wrong you chase it up luv ... dont fail him because a doctor thinks he knows your son better than you do ....!! xx

Ana - posted on 02/25/2010

I would go to a neurologist who is familiar with that sort of thing. If he does not have it the neuro will just tell you, if he does early intervention is key, either way I would adress it. either way I would follow my instincts, believe in your inner voice, it will never steer you wrong

Jessie - posted on 02/25/2010

don't let it go i was in the same situation for a while and it too my daughter going completely nuts and going into a insaine place for 11 day b4 they gave me something closer to why she does the things she does

Tiffany - posted on 02/25/2010

Keep pursuing it. Our family dr kept saying our son was a little behind and will catch up. The teachers at his preschool said he obviously is behind in his development and needs be assessed. We finally got our dr to refer us to a therapist that works with children and she recomended that he get evaluated. He was dx with pdd-nos two yrs ago and is doing better. So I would start by taking him to a therapist or counselor that works mainly with children.

Kirsten - posted on 02/25/2010

Hi my son is 4yrs old now and he has no diagnosis because the doctors say he is still to young there is a wonderful lady by the name of jenni buckle she runs a programe for kids and if you want real answers I really do recommend you chat to her her no. is : 0832675174

Julie - posted on 02/24/2010

Hi Angela....I can see both sides of the coin from where I'm sitting now. Our household has four children in it. We have an 8 year old and a 5 year old with varying degrees of autism and pervasive developmental delay. In addition, my husband and I took in his niece (now almost 16 years old). She is developmentally typical, except that she has ADHD, OCD, anxiety and seems to lack a governor between her brain and her mouth. Some people might say this is quite typical for a teenager, therefore she gets little understanding from others (especially her teachers). The hardest thing is that she is very smart and does well on her homework, but come test time, she completely bombs. I think the anxiety has a lot to do with it.

I can also tell you that my nephew was just recently diagnosed with Asperger's after a lengthy struggle in school. Again, he has a lot of anxiety, in spite of the fact that he is a brilliant kid. His social skills are VERY delayed as well, and his diagnosis helped him get into some classes that he would not have qualified for otherwise.

Bottom line is....never let anyone tell you that you're doing this for no good reason. I let that happen with my first child and regretted listening to the doctors who told me to wait another six months to pursue a diagnosis.

Theresa - posted on 02/24/2010

My sons doctor always compared my son to his kids and said he was just a boy. As he progressed in age, I saw many things that just weren't right. In talking to the speech pathologist at his school, she said it was just a social disorder and I shouldn't try to label him. I eventually took him to a psychologist for treatment of what I thought was depression. Turned out to be Asperger's, which I had suspected for a long time! I am thankful for the diagnosis. Now, teachers are aware that his meltdowns aren't naughty behavior. His social inadequacies just need a little redirecting. It has been nothing but positive! I still deal with people treating him like he has "special needs" which drives me crazy. Sometimes I feel the disorder is with everyone who doesn't understand Aspergers! Let them whisper! It only shouts their lack of information. My son is a blessing and lights the life of everyone he touches! Get the diagnosis! It isn't a scarlet letter to wear on his forhead... it is a step closer to answers!

Gina - posted on 02/24/2010

You are his mother and know your son more than anyone else. Trust your gut. So many times, children are misdiagnosed because they don't get the real testing. Some professionals say, "They'll grow out of it," or "it's only in your mind," but we have God given instincts, so don't be afraid to use them. These professionals do not have the ability to say whether your son has ASD or not, because they haven't had the training. Don't let their ineptitude make you feel less capable as a mother. We have enough battles to fight as it is, and the battle for your son's care is the greatest one you will probably have, and the most rewarding.
I worked with young children for 20 years, so when my son was 2 1/2, I knew something was not right. It took until he was 4 before I could get any diagnosis...and that is WITH my pediatrician's respect that I knew my child, even though at his 2 year old checkup everything looked normal. He has a current diagnosis of PDD-NOS with a combination of Autism and Asperger Syndrome. He is high functioning, but still has to have speech therapy because his receptive language has not developed and occupational therapy for sensory integration, transitioning, and we are undergoing at home Applied Behavioral Analysis to help everyone in the family learn how to cope with situations that arise.
There comes a point where, in the middle of the diagnosis process, you say, "That's it! It fits!" Until you feel that peace, go with it and keep trying to find answers. Don't let it drop until you are satisfied and feel that peace. It seems now you have a psychologist who is willing to listen and help, so don't doubt yourself :) I know it's hard, but don't be afraid, don't let them bully you. Rest in the knowledge that you want to get your son the best care. People talk about a window of time to get your child the real help he needs, so be encouraged, and go ahead and barge right through it. Break a few windows if they try to slam a few doors :) It's your child's well being at stake. By all means, you are woman, you are mother. Let them hear you roar!

Elizabeth - posted on 02/23/2010

Please trust your instincts. It took me until my son's pediatrician when he was 4 telling me that my son's behavior was not normal even for a boy. As it turned out my son was diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar Disorder NOS. Even with that and almost 5 years later I still knew in my heart that there was more to his story. He was finally diagnosed in Oct. with also have Asperger's. It has been a long road and a long fight to finally get my son the help that he needs. The teachers should not be telling you what they think you should do or even to infer that you just want your child to be sick. I would definitely think about talking with the principal about the new teacher's behavior towards you. I hope and pray that you finally get some answers that you need so that you can help your son succeed in life.

Kathi - posted on 02/23/2010

Angela, Absolutely pursue it!!!!! My son started out with a diagnosis of language disorder, then added fine/gross motor skill delay, then ADHD, then PDD-NOS, then finally High Functioning Autism. Nobody wants their child to have autism, but if you don't pursue for a diagnosis, then your child can't get the services he needs. I had to fight, "shop" for doctors, and practically stand on my head to get my son the services he needed without a diagnosis. To be frank, I think you should start with "shopping" for a new pediatrician. Take your child for an evaluation by a pediatric Neurologist, or Developmental Pediatrician. I don't know where you live, but I have found that the bigger the place you go, the better the doctors and specialists. We go to UPMC in Pittsburgh PA. We have found a wonderful Pediatric Neurologist, and Developmental Pediatrician. My son also has a seizure disorder. I would recommend an evaluation by a Developmental Pediatrician, and finding a new regular Pediatrician.

Ragan - posted on 02/23/2010

The way I thought about it when I was "chasing" my daughter's diagnosis is that I would be cheating my child if I did not pursue this because I knew there was a problem. I knew something wasn't right very early on and I got her into early intervention (prior to age 3). Have seen tons of doctors, etc. Many of them missed the boat. So many people want to push a diagnosis and intervention off because "they'll grow out of it" or they are just too AFRAID to diagnose a child so young, but it only hurts the child in the long run. My daughter has had intensive early intervention both by professionals and by her grandmother and I. My little girl is AMAZING. If it were not for the concentrated, quality intervention she has received, she would not be as successful as she is today. Please, please moms - if you think your child may have an issue DO NOT feel weak, afraid, or intimidated by "professionals" or fear a diagnosis. Remember, YOU know your child better than anyone else does. Become informed, go with your gut, and be ready to be stronger than you ever thought you were. A diagnosis is not a bad thing. The only people who will know about it will be educators, therapists, doctors, and the people YOU choose to tell. I am a HUGE proponent of early intervention. It works! The sooner you can get your child the therapy they need and the sooner you learn how to think of every moment as a therapy moment, the better off your child will be in the long run. Don't wait! Do not be afraid!

Heather - posted on 02/23/2010

YES pursue it!! NO don't let it drop!! God this takes me back!! It sounds like your son's Dr. and my daughters Dr. went to the same school!! He had the same reaction when I was struggling with my daughter. I was told she was spoiled from being an only child and immature. And all she needed was structure and discipline.After 2 years of fighting with him he finally sent me to a neurologist (I would rather have gone to a developmental ped. but the waiting list was 3 YEARS). Within 15-20 minutes of meeting with my daughter the neuro told me that she most likely had Asperger's and ADHD. When My pediatrician got the neuro's report his reply was "At least it's not Autism" Needless to say, we don't see him anymore.
I TOTALLY know what you are going through. If you want "friend" me on facebook and all my contact info is on there. Please feel free to call or e-mail me any time. Good luck and hang tough!! You sound like a wonderful mother who just wants the best for her son.

Angela - posted on 02/23/2010

thank you all so much for your empowering words of support! we have an appointment with the psychologist and psychiatrist today- so hopefully i will get a better indication of where we stand and where to go from here. your advice and empathy mean a lot. thanks!

Davona - posted on 02/23/2010

Follow your instincts. Nobody at the school wanted to listen and my son's doctor thought I was nuts when I used the word Autistic. Right up to the point where I finally got a diagnosis of PDD-NOS.

Dawna - posted on 02/23/2010

Funny the teacher wants you to go get him tested, The school does not have to except the diagnoses... If you want you can ask the school to do an autism testing, they have their own autism teams. I have 4 diagnoses of aspergers for my oldest and the school say he isnt and wont take the paper work. So if it effecting the school, have them do the leg work!

Sheila - posted on 02/23/2010

OH MY GOSH, this makes me ANGRY!!

Angela, I had concerns when my son was eighteen months. I shouldn't say concerns, I KNEW there was something definitely wrong and I knew it was within the autism family. Everyone kept saying that I was comparing him to his older sister, that I was "reading into what I was seeing," that I needed to relax. Honestly, if I think about it now I still get so upset and angry.

That teacher had no right to say that to you. Teachers are not behavioural specialists. His teacher before that one advised you to pursue help. She's the one you should listen to. I still hear teachers talk about kids being "labelled with the latest thing". My son has autism, and it is not a label! It is a diagnosis!

Ask yourself, if there were ine hundred seven year olds in a room, would my son stand out? Why would he stand out? I remember taking my little guy to a mommy and me "gym time" when he was three (and finally on the road to diagnosis) and afterwards I called my best friend (the ONLY person who said trust your instinct!) and cried saying, he is so different from everyone else.

I teach Kindergarten. I have a special ed background, and a son with ASD. If a mom tells me there is something wrong, I go with that. We get second opinions because doctors are NOT gods. My son saw two pediatricians before the third one gave him a diagnosis...she was a developmental pediatrician and the other two were not....but I kept pursuing answers and you should too!

Don't give up Angela!

Regardless of what you find out, your son needs you to advocate for him and give him the best chance you possibly can.

Good luck.
Sheila

Andrea - posted on 02/22/2010

Of course you're right. A mother's intuition is NEVER wrong. You know your son better than anyone in this world, don't let anyone get in your way in finding out if he has a spectrum disorder. You're doing this because you love him and want to help him. As for that ignorant teacher...SHAME ON HER! Autistic children aren't "sick" they are simply autistic. IT'S WHO THEY ARE not what they are. If your heart tells you to persue it, then you persue it. You're being a loving, caring, concerned mother and your son is very fortunate to have someone go through all of this with him to help him. Good luck and God bless.

Jennifer - posted on 02/22/2010

you are not wrong. our son's first grade teacher was sure he was just "testing her" and, even after he had been diagnosed with a neuromuscular disorder by a neuro surgeon, she had the nerve to say, in a condescending tone, "well, he looks fine to me."

on a separate occasion with our older son, his pediatrician thought i was nuts b/c i *knew* something was wrong, but he said our son was fine. i kept a food journal and took his temp every hour for months. poor thing had blood drawn by every specialist under the sun. FINALLY, they found an infection. He had surgery and was fine w/in a week.

bottom line. you know your son better than ANYONE else. if you start to doubt yourself, talking to a psychologist (for you) might be helpful. i know i started to believe i was crazy, too, after a while. but the tests you mention are not strenuous, and your son may even enjoy them (lots of word games and acting, etc.), so you shouldn't feel badly. it's better to know.

Vicky - posted on 02/22/2010

You are his mom, if you feel something is wrong then go with your instincts! You need a developmental evolution., you can get it outside the school. I had the school testing he was classified as non verbal learning disability. After 4 assessments and thousands of dollars he was diagnosed by USC as Autistic and mild M.R. he was 6.
If you feel it, go with your motherly instincts every time!

K. Erin - posted on 02/22/2010

I am in the same boat with my 8 year old...I havent started testing because I don't want him labeled. I don't want ppl to whisper to one another 'He has asperger's'...reply 'Ohhh, that's what's wrong with him' He doesn't even know he is different than other kids...why would I want him to have a label to show him he is different. But I've come to the conclusion that my child's life will not be fulfilled if I am not educated on what may be different about him. And I think you may feel the same. Hang in there and tell the teacher's that you didnt ask for their opinions...this is for your son, not for them. Be strong and don't let them make you feel 1 ft tall anymore. This is for your baby. Remember that. Good luck...I hope you get the answers you are looking for...

Teri - posted on 02/22/2010

Try taking your son to a neurologist. My son (age 3) has been given several different "possible" diagnosis from teachers, pediatricians, and developmental & occupational therapists, but the one that seems to "stand" for everyone, including the school district, is what the neurologist says! I understand your frustration. You are not chasing a diagnosis just trying to get a better understanding of your child to help him right? Good luck. Let me know how it goes!

Diane - posted on 02/22/2010

No one WANTS the autism label. We just want the TRUTH, so that we can get to work to address how to help our children learn and progress. NOT getting an accurate diagnosis helps no one but the funding source (by delaying or denying needed services). Many school professionals will discourage pursuing a diagnosis, because that will add to their SPED roster, and budget. I suggest you visit the TACA website and spend some time in the diagnosis section:

Diagnostic Criteria for Autism: http://www.tacanow.com/autism/diagnostic...

DSM-IV Criteria for Autism:
http://www.tacanow.com/autism/dsm_level_...

Or consider taking the ATEC (Autism Treatment Evaluation Checklist), developed by a panel of doctors to help parents to get an idea of where their child stands developmentally - http://www.autism.com/ari/atec/atec_form... ; General info: http://www.autism.com/ari/atec/atec-onli... (We used it to gauge where our son was developmentally. Helped us get a better idea of where he was compared to typical development.) BTW, his first ATEC score was a 96 (zero is neuro-typical).

Outside Assessments: http://www.tacanow.com/resources/evaluat...

Our son was first diagnosed with Mild to Moderate autism back in 2001, at age 3. SInce then, he has had much intervention, including five years of intensive one-on-one ABA behavioral therapy, GF/CF Diet, biomedical support under the care of a DAN doctor (Defeat Autism Now), years of speech and Occupational therapies, to name a few. He is in typical 5th grade, very strong accademically, and most people cannot pick out the child with an IEP in his classroom. I strongly believe that would not be the case had he not had the intensive intervention and services.

Our goal, of course, is to get him to the point that he no longer needs ANY services. Even now, services have been greatly reduced as he improves, and he now has a teacher's aide only 2 hours per day, with the rest of the day completely on his own. How much better does his future look, instead of a lifetime of special needs care had he been denied that early intervention?

diane in TN

Christina - posted on 02/22/2010

I would definitely NOT drop it. He is your child and you have a mothers instinct for a reason. I was told the same thing w/ my 4 year old who has Tourettes, ADHD, OCD & PDD. Surprise, surprise...the idiots just had not idea what they were dealing with & didn't want to admit it. :)

Keep going for more opinions if you have to :) Do you have a county mental health department? I highly suggest going through them to find an individual who works specifically with these children!!!!

Cynthia - posted on 02/22/2010

No dont drop it unless it is on their heads! If you think something is wrong you are probably right. A diagnoses means a treatment. My son was left untreated and now all the other kids know something is wrong and has alienated him. Dustin is in 5th grade and wants to commit suicide! At eleven! I hope you got your big girl panties on for this, but it will be a fight every step of the way and it will be hard. The school only sees dollar signs and how they will have to spend and will do anything to make YOU feel crazy. I would start by finding a better doctor. You will need one that is behind you.
Take care and Good luck!

Jacqui - posted on 02/22/2010

You need to know what is wrong in order to help you son. I wish that we had been made aware of my son's differences when he was younger. He is very different at home than he is at school. He was dx adhd at 7, then LDs at 10 and now 'complicated adhd' and awaiting an Autism Assessment.... at 15. Go for it now!

Tammy - posted on 02/22/2010

Go with your heart sometimes it seems everyone is an expert yet the dont have any idea what they are talking about. If there is one thing i have learnt is not to listen to every comment i hear i know whats right for my son. If everything comes back ok then at least u know and u can treat adhd but if it is aspergers the quicker he gets treatment the better. You ll know what to do...