Are there any Aspies who don't throw tantrums?

Shasta - posted on 07/16/2010

my son has the meltdowns but he doesnt seem to care abt sound and texture like alot of kids do...or sensory his is him being aggressive and he obsesses over a few things..so they r all different good luck

Tricia - posted on 07/06/2010

I have twins (boy and girl) who will also be 6 in September. Our son has severe tantrums and aggression issues. The psychologist states the aggression is a reaction to sensory issues. He wants to be social, but doesn't know how to handle himself with others. Our daughter has no major tantrums, but she doesn't have the extreme sensory problems either. She is on the other side of Aspergers, and doesn't want to be social at all. We have to bribe her to get her to leave the house at all.

Marie - posted on 07/05/2010

My husband and my oldest son have never had "meltdowns". My younger son had only a period of them. My older son was confirmed Asperger before his more severe younger brother. :) My number is 360-753-2271

Anne - posted on 07/04/2010

Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences with me. Since posting my original message, my son has had 3 major meldowns one of them was last week. I told my son that he couldn't give a sweetie to one of his friends. I wasn't being mean, his friend was quite a distance from us and walking in the opposite direction, my son started off by using my butt as a punchbag and then a collapsing full sobbing into my arms. I just cradled him like a baby, holding him tightly until he was calm enough to carry on our walk home.

My brother witnessed another meltdown this weekend and was really shocked at the intensity of it as he has never seen it before.

Nancy - posted on 07/04/2010

I think there are, my son type of meltdown is not the tantrum type nor the meltdown drama type. Mine is the qiute, I don't hear you type or the I'm so tire type (being lazy) and he's 13.That also camn be challenging. We have to keep at him until he realy gets it and does it. Some times it ends up, that he realizes that it wasn't so bad after all and he does it the next it with out any reprocussions

Kathy - posted on 07/03/2010

The problem here is that the hallmark of Autism Spectrum Disorders is an expressive and receptive language problem. While Aspies usually have a very well developed vocabulary, and usually good articulation, they still are not able to fully express themselves.

When an Aspie has a meltdown or shut down, they are usually trying their best to communicate something that is bothering them. They just can't express it. It is why speech therapy (by a competent speech therapist) in pragmatic language is so important for our kids.

Jennifer - posted on 07/03/2010

My daughter who is 12 now goes through phases where she will have meltdowns frquently and then we will go a couple off months without meltdowns. I think it depends on what is going on in their life at that time. If things are calm and on routine she usually does very well. When she has stuff going on at school or with her other activities she is agitated more easily into a meltdown. And then, of course she sometimes meltsdown for no reason or when something we think will send her into one she will remain calm. Hopefully your son and you already have ways of coping that you don't even realize and thats why he's isn't having meltdowns. Each child on the spectrum is different and unique in their way of coping with things. They all enrich our lives in so many ways and tend to give us a different way of looking at the world.

Kathy - posted on 07/03/2010

Absolutely! My son has Aspergers, and never had a tantrum in his life.

Kate - posted on 07/02/2010

Kids on the spectrum are basically like the general population.
It all depends on the child... and their unique personality.
I'm a family daycarer/foster mom, and with the 13 children in my care who have been assessed or diagnosed as ASD, 5 have never shown any signs of meltdowns or tantrums.

Anja - posted on 07/02/2010

my son - now 10, diagnosed with Asperger's doesn't throw tantrums either - or at least not yet. Kinda worried with Erin's reply with puperty coming arround.

Alyson - posted on 07/01/2010

Hi Anne
My son used to have meltdowns when it came to things like having his haircut...sensory, lots of hands on with him helped ! He still dislikes being hugged etc and he`s 17 now but he can tolerate if need be. If he is upset he tends to withdraw, it doesn`t happen very often now, but i just allow him his space if it does.

Lana - posted on 07/01/2010

My daughter has has Tizzy fits but she goes to her quiet place and clams down. BUT she did have a full blown tantrum at the age of 18 at college. She tried to get away but people kept following her until she had to lock herself in closet luckily some one hid her until the people went away. She was very embarrassed and posted her rant on her facebook page. She threatened to go home and never come back to college again.

My son hasn't had a 'fit' since 2nd grade, But he has always had a "safe" place to go if needed. But he has done quite well for now. Fingers crossed he is way bigger than me these days!!

Melanie - posted on 06/30/2010

Just because you don't see or hear the meltdown doesn't mean that he isn't having one.
Most of the time my son has meltdowns that are very quiet. However, if we pay attention to them he then gets more upset becomes vocal and has a tantrum. If we ignore his "silent" meltdowns he will self regulate.
He rarely has verbalized (ie screaming, crying, physically abusive) meltdowns and those he is usually so upset that he knows he needs help to calm down. For us, because he loves touch, that means pulling his back to my front, grabbing each wrist and crossing our arms over his chest and trapping his legs with mine and squeezing just a little until the meltdown has stopped.

So it is entirley dependant upon the child. Mine is so independant that he would rather control himself when he can.

Melissa - posted on 06/23/2010

Amanda, I'm glad mine aren't the only ones who do that! I had never heard of it happening so I didn't recognize what it was until about 18 months after I had first noticed the behavior. Then of course I felt bad!

Amanda - posted on 06/21/2010

My 5 year old, just recently diagnosied with Aspergers, doesn't have tantrums, but he emotionally 'shuts down'. He closes his eyes, becomes limp when you try to pick him up and just collaspes in a heap on the ground like he has fallen asleep. He will stay there for as long as he needs to (normally no longer than 5 minutes), then he gets up like nothing has happened. Good luck with your daughters assessment :)

Melissa - posted on 06/20/2010

Hey, that's okay! At least now you don't have that question floating around in your mind anymore. :D

Anne - posted on 06/20/2010

Oh no!!!! I think I may have spoken too soon and put a hex on my beautiful son's temperament, since posing this question, my son has had a few tantrums and been really angry and he's started to get really upset over the most minor things. Ahh well, just have to get on with it and deal with situations as they arise.

Melissa - posted on 06/19/2010

I very strongly suspect that my daughter has AS (after researching son's classic autism) and she does not have meltdowns (son does). Both of them tend to do what I would label "shutting down." Instead of externalizing all of that frustration, anxiety, or sensory overload, they close themselves off. For my son (4), that means crawling into my arms and falling asleep. For my daughter (7), that means crawling under a table and hiding until the moment has resolved itself.

Anne - posted on 06/19/2010

Thanks for your input Erin and Sheila, this has answered my question. Erin, on reflection, I think you are probably right that I might be catching them before they get out of control.

Sheila - posted on 06/19/2010

Hi Anne,

My husband often asks of our son, is that typical for a child with autism? Well, it's typical for our son.

That's the thing with spectrum disorders and their impact. Every single child is unique unto themselves. Some behaviours might be more common than others...but that doesn't mean you will see it in your child.

Good luck with your assessment.

Sheila

Erin - posted on 06/19/2010

My son doesn;t have many tantrums. Before he turned 12 he hardly ever had a tantrum, maybe once in a while like a neurotypical child. Now that he's 12 and going through puberty, he's beginning to have them. I can usually "catch" them before they get out of control, and that may be what you're doing without even realizing it. Or, your son just isn't having meltdowns, which is great for all involved!!