Asperger's and school

Kristel - posted on 02/05/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )

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my 8 year old son has asperger's, ADHD and dyspraxia and has just been sent home from school for bad behavior again, I have run out of ideas for trying to deal with his temper and constant bad behavior, and dont know what to do about it anymore. if anyone has any tips for dealing with this sort of thing i would be greatful. Thanks x

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Jennifer - posted on 02/06/2009

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My little guy is already seeing a psychiatrist and is on Risperdal for sleeping issues and Aderol for the ADHD. We have our next med check on Monday so we'll see what adjustements they can do then.



 



The school, in our case, has already taken away recess. This did not work.



We have a strict structure at home and have taken away priveledges etc....not changing anything. Today, his first day of out of school suspension he had 4 aggressive incidents and was in a rest period/time out most of the day.



We have services at home, at his dad's, at school etc so that everyone is on the same page. Everything is being put into place consistently at both homes, but school is a work in progress.



Just takes time I think... I don't know....long road ahead!

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Laura - posted on 05/01/2014

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So an update, I still haven't heard from the school about the incident. I did talk to the teacher and I don't think ALL the blame is being put on my child, just most of it. My son has a habit of changing the story, its like he doesn't remember all the details or details get fuzzy does anyone else have that problem? Because he changes his story it makes it look like he is the problem.

Laura - posted on 05/01/2014

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I am so glad I read this, my son who is 9 and is aspie and ad/hd is also having many social issues and is now being suspended for the second time because he is punching the boys in his class who are being "mean and threatening him". I feel because he is high functioning the school and the teacher are putting all the blame on him and not considering that the other kids are picking on him. We are asking for another IEP meeting to try to prove that some of this behavior is due to his "disability." This is the first year my child has ever been in trouble and it started only a month ago. We only have a month left of school and we just don't know what to do anymore.

Ami - posted on 02/24/2014

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Kristol my 10 yr old aspie is extremely high functioning only part aspergers affects is his social issues mostly and he is a severe adhd and PDD. Meds have seem to stop working. No medication at all will keep him focused in his behavorial special ed class. They evwn put kids in cubicals for class work. We have tried it all. He has chatter box issues and now has started pooping his pants and bad gas. He is getting bullied in class and with 5 other boys in class and one teacher and one aid him and another boy seems to argue somehow. Now he is tired of being bullied and has started fighting or starting fights to get sent home. These kids tell him daily he is wierd n they dont like him and his feelings get hurt and then its a fight. He refuses to take responsibility for his bad behavior and he argues everything about everything. His interpretation of events seems to be different than others on every situation. He is testing at genius level and now school is keeping him homebound till we get his problems under control. Counselors here are over worked and he can only be seen once a month by them or a psychatrist...HELP!! I dont regularly check this site so feel free to email me at amicook1978@gmail.com or text me ar 3049102204 if u have any ideas

Betty - posted on 06/29/2011

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Typically we see behaviors equal communication. What kind of communication system does he have in place for his dyspraxia? Does he take medication? When my son was very young medication was like a miracle. What type of program is he in. Is he hurting other students/staff? Have you tried changing his diet? Does he have sensory issues? Do you have the same problems at home? If you don't have the same problems at home perhaps he needs more frequent breaks such as walking around the building with someone, wtd. blanket or vest or even a swing. It sounds like he could use a behavior modification system. In any event you need to work with your school and make sure that whatever they do there you carry over. Are there picture schedules at school that he can use for transitions. These students are very visual and do not like change..

Kristel - posted on 02/08/2009

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Thanks for all your replys and advise i really appreciate it. I have felt so alone and isolated for so long, in the playground none of the other mums talk to me them seem to think i must just be a bad mum and cant look at the bigger picture. I moved my son to a smaller school 5 months ago and at first he was doing great but now the other kids know his triggers things are going down hill fast. I am still on waiting lists for help with him and the school cant put in for a statment till he has been there 6 months it seems like every day is a battle that i am not winning. I know one day things will get better but that day seems so far away.

Thanks again and good luck to you all xxx

Amy - posted on 02/07/2009

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I know it's expensive... but private school or Montessori may help. With a lower ratio of children -  teacher... they tend to do better. Sam is almost 5 and attends a Montessori. If he gets in a class with too many kids he becomes over stimulated and acts out. Also tends to Stim more. If you can swing it.. I would try that. Also some intensive ABA therapy.. that made a world of difference in Sam.

Jodi - posted on 02/06/2009

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Hello, my son is now 6. I have struggled with the school's "system" since my son was 4. He has asperger's and didn't speak until he was almost 5. I have moved school disticts to put my son in a smaller school. I have found that the larger schools "looked over" my son instead of helping him adjust. I know not everyone can do this, but I have been to school board meeting and teacher conferences fighting for the rights on my son to be treated fairly in school. Instead of just dealing with children who have "issues". I now work one on one with my son's first grade teacher. We talk each morining and afternoon and work on the topics at hand. For my son his daily struggles vary from day to day. I have a stool in his classroom that is his "calm down" area. At first it was hard, but now he when he gets upset, angry, feels out of place, or just need time to his self, he can get up and sit on the stool. This has become his way of dealing with his everyday situations he couldn't handle before. Instead of acting out he calms himself down using techniques we practice at home. I know each child is different, but i hope this may help out.

Jennifer - posted on 02/06/2009

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My son started out with behavior problems in Kindergarten, was diagnosed with anxiety and some mood instability in 1st/2nd grade, and finally we identified Asperger's in 5th grade. He's been on meds for the anxiety and mood problems and they've made a huge difference in his behavior.

K-5th grade, he had an aide in class at all times who could help him identify when he was loosing control and take him from the room to cool off. Now he can usually advocate for himself that he's getting upset and needs a break, though he still does best in classes with an aide.

When his tantrums were at their worst, we pushed for in-school suspensions rather than sending him home. He's much more responsive to that. We also set up a program where his teachers reported daily whether he had a "good" day, "some problems" day, or a "bad" day. If he had a bad day, he would loose a privilege at home (TV, computer games, Lego playtime). His behavior the next day would determine whether he earned back that privilege, there was no change, or he lost an additional privilege. I think we only took away all 3 privileges once, and he earned them back pretty quickly, 1 privilege at a time. Today, he's nearly 14 and will voluntarily give up TV or computer games (or ask us which he's lost) after a bad day. He has, however, watched TV until we found out about the tantrum ;-) He's not stupid.

My suggestions in summary:
1) Get him checked out by a child psychiatrist for something treatable with meds.
2) See if the school will work with you on consequences that occur at school. No recess is a good one. Not going with the class on an outing. Things like that.
3) Work out privileges and consequences at home.
4) Always be consistent and follow-through.

Michaeline - posted on 02/06/2009

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Hi all,



Just wondering if any of you have your children treated for anxiety?  We tryed all kinds of meds for the behavior and it only made it worse.  When we realized he was having anxiety attacks not the so called behavioral problems the school was calling home about , we went with an anti- anxiety.  He is on Abilify and he is doing so great!  It has even helped some with his focus!

Jennifer - posted on 02/05/2009

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Before I even got to send you this message I got a call from the school today that my son had been involved in another incident. My punched a little girl in the back of the head and in the face all over a misunderstanding over her cutting in line. He was SUSPENDED for 2 days...he's 5. Trust me I fell your pain!



 



Hi Kristel,



My son is 5 1/2 and was diagnosed in October 2008 with Aspergers, ADHD, and Developmental Coordination Disorder (fine motor etc). We've been having a really horrible time with aggressive, violent, behaviors at school and at home. My son is having problems with all of the following: Punching, Kicking, Biting, Spiting, Swearing, Scratching, Pulling Hair, Pushing, Choking, Disrespect, Throwing Things (chairs, laptops, etc), Breaking Things (snapped his glasses in half the other day), etc. He has done this to his teachers, the principal, other students, his cousins, and to Mommy, Daddy, and his Step Dad. I hold my breath everyday when I take him to school (most days he's so uncooperative we miss the bus). I have been fighting hard since we got the diagnosis to get accommodations in place for him.



I requested a formal Special Education Evaluation and while they were completing that eval I asked that we get started using a 504 Plan (not as detailed or enforcable as an IEP). In Pennsylvania the school has 60 calendar days to complete the evaluation. The school finished his Special Ed Eval in December and we've been meeting roughly every two weeks to work on his IEP. Behaviors are our biggest hurdle as I mentioned. I have wrap services in place at home and at school, so Chris has had a Theraputic Support Staff person with him for two hours everyday since November. It is definitely NOT enough!!!



 



Wrap Services are paid for through his Medical Assistance, which in the state of PA, he gets due to the Aspergers diagnosis. I don't know where you're at or if the rules are different in other places, etc. Our wrap team consists of a Behavioral Specialist, Mobile Therapist, and a few TSS' to accommodate the schedule/hours needed. All in all we have 22 hours of services per week on top of OT and other services. Our wrap team has been extremely helpful and has put many different strategies in place like Theraputic Rest Periods, 1-2-3 Magic Discipline system, visual schedule, DRO (at school), fidget box, planned ignoring, etc... the list goes on and on and on. Like I said we just got our diagnosis in October and we're still going through daily violent and aggressive behavior, but we see progress in some areas. Our team is also doing frustration tolerance tests with him to see how much help he needs. Without one on one attention he has behaviors.



 



One on one attention has been my one biggest hurdle with the school. They do not believe he needs an aide while everyone else (Psychologist included) is telling me that he does and showing me the proof. We go back and forth every two weeks....I have another meeting next Friday which I'm taking my team to so they can directly address the issue. The school is responsible for making any accommodations he needs and must pay for an aide if he needs one. Right now they want his TSS hours increased instead of giving him an aide.



Along the lines of the school, do you have an IEP? What accommodations or behavior plan have they put in place at school? They can't just keep sending him home. They need to figure out why he's having behaviors and try to address the cause rather than just punish him. Our school did a Functional Behavior Analysis. They didn't a formal full blown analysis but they did a watered down version. They came up with a plan that is in place now which consists of a visual aid with reminders from Chris' teacher when he starts to get out of line. He's still having significant behaviors, so like I said we'll continue to push for what he needs till we get it.  Is he having problems with frustration, socializing, etc? They also put Chris in a "social group" for a half hour a day with the Special Ed Teacher. This is the only time he's outside of the regular classroom for now.



I read a great book about Aspergers and school take a look maybe some of it will help you. It's "School Success For Kids With Asperger's Syndrome" by Stephan M. Silverman, PhD and Rich Weinfeld. Someone also recommended "Parenting A Child With Asperger Syndrome, 200 Tips And Strategies" by Brenda Boyd, but I haven't gotten a chance to read it yet. I bought it though. LOL



 



Hope this helps!



Jennifer

Deb - posted on 02/05/2009

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I know how you feel.  Our seven year old son also has Asperger's and id being sent home about 4 out of 5 daysa week from school also for bad behavior.  I don't know what it is but school is a huge trigger for him.  We have requested and attented so many meetings with school for almost four years now.  It's a very long and frustrating process.  I'm not sure that they know how to handle that diagnosis.  Our son is moving to a different schhol on Monday where they have a self-contained class with a pretty good program but it did take us so long to get here. We recently got an advocate and taht really seem to speed up the procees a bit. I wish you all the luck.  What type of bad behaviors is your son having??

Kristel - posted on 02/05/2009

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Thanks for the advice i,am from England. I just feel my son is lost in the system and i just go round in circles. He has so many problems socialising and being around groups of kids that school is a nightmare for him and he just ends up lashing out.

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As Connie says I don't know where you are in Canada. I work in a junior high with an autistic child as an educational assistant, in our school district we do training with a centre in BC who specialise in Autism etc training www.autismoutreach.ca had lots of info including classroom strategies this may help you. Also ask your school about classroom help and what training the educational assistants have, maybe even suggest this website - they do visit school districts to do training thats how we did it.

Connie - posted on 02/05/2009

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My son who will be 8 just got dianosed with AS gifted/LD and has been diagnose with ADHD since he was 4. I have been fighting hard with this school system and finally got somewhere it took me 3 years of pushing and being in thier faces all the time to get some results. Im not sure where you live Im in Canada. Make sure you get on thier butt's ask them what the next step is ask whats avalible and find out what his rights are and yours. Ask them what "we can do together" to help your son. Has he been identified in the school system? Is thier a specialized team for Autism spectrum avalible in your school district? When all else fails and if you do not get the answers that you need from your sons school don't be afraid to go over thier heads and talk to the school board youself. Remember that your son has a right to education as much as any other child. Dont give up it's a long and hard and frustrating road but it's so worth it!

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