Aspergers Child- issues with hurting siblings

Elizabeth - posted on 01/10/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I am sure there are others who deal with Aspergers kids hurting siblings. I have 5 children and my oldest has Aspergers so it can be hard to always see what he is doing. He is very unpredictable. One minute he is down on the floor talking in his baby voice to his little sister, telling her how cute she is. The next minute I turn around and he has hurt her. Does anyone know of something that has helped? How do you handles this?

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Jessica - posted on 07/22/2014

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I too am having this issue with my daughter who is 7 and has BMR and possible autism and her little sister who is 3 she has never done this now all sudden she hitting her I am worried

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Shawnna - posted on 03/27/2010

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My 3 year old is constantly hurting himself and my 2 year old.He is in therapy but he seems to be getting worse as he is getting older not better.I don't know what to do anymore.Please Help.

Jennifer - posted on 03/25/2010

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I have a ten year old son who is hurting our 8 year old daughter daily. This conversation is the first I've found discussing aggressive Asperger siblings. I realize this conversation is more than a year old.. but does anyone have any advice for me?

Jeanette - posted on 01/11/2009

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im sorry i agree with sarahj on this one children with this condition do understand from the younger approach, look on all the asd websites and they will guide you through this difficult time, just remember your child has aspergers a mild form of asd and i do undertstand what you are going through if you need any other support email me or had me has a friend on facebook thanks from jeanette

Kerry - posted on 01/11/2009

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ps I say this to you from another angle, and because usually autistics dont give a hott if you love them or not, you are their toy and will do their bidding.(looking at it from the real world)

Kerry - posted on 01/11/2009

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Hi elizabeth I used the tough love approach, i would take my son away when he hurt his little sister (usually his story was she annoyed him, usually i figured out that she didnt go away after he had finished telling her she was cute), anuyway i would tell him not to bully or hurt people, to keep his hands and feet to himself. then make him play away from the others i would quietly tell him you know one day she wont be the smallest and she WILL hit you back, so that he shouldnt come to me when she decides to do that!



She did. got him a beauty. He wouldnt let her watch her tv show one day and stood in front of her cheeking her, so she kicked him (a beautiful karate kick to the gut), he flew through the room and into the tv.  then he raced stragiht to dad to tell on his sister for using her karate. so dad said to me in his loud voice did you see her use her karate on her brother. mum says oh no she just kicked him for teasing her. dad said ok then son go to your room for being a bully.  LMAO meanwhile i am describing the fantastic kick she laid inot him with and telling dad how good it was and how he had deserved it!  I still laugh about it today.



That soon stoppedc him picking on the kids, he makes threats now and does not follow through with violence, because he knows he will be the one copping the hard end of it if he does!



At a younger age try reminding him that his sister/brother thinks that he is the bees knees and is following his favourite toy around. So that if the others are annoying him he should ask mum to send the others away. so you know the signal if he says mum the kids are annoying me, you know to get them away from him his tolerance level has gone.



work on it. use creative stuff where you can. and if that doesnt work bribery is always a good option.

Sarahj - posted on 01/11/2009

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hi over the years both ov my sons had trouble controlin the tempers... but in time it does get easier.....at times my younger son kept hittin his little sisiter...but now all he does is hug her an kiss her every day.....even crys if she get hurt...just take u son to a quite place an hol an show him how much u love him an talk to him quitely...it has always worked for me....the eldest one is now 17 an in college.....the younger boy is 12 now an in year 7...hope this helps u...sarahj

Jeanette - posted on 01/11/2009

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Hi my son was diagnosed with having severe learning disabilities and we are still awaiting for the results to see if he has aspergers, i understand totally how you feel, i have 5 children and my son his the second eldest and he hurts his younger siblings, it is very hard but what we have done is to try and talk to him and ask him why he felt the need to hurt them, it has worked but not all off the time try and talk to him like he is younger than what he is and try an understand ive realised shouting does not work let me knoe how you get on please thanks from jeanette

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