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Aspie Tween and Social Skills (or lack of)

Andrea - posted on 09/14/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi, I am in the Cleveland, Ohio area and have a 12 1/2 year old son who has Aspergers. This year at school has already been his hardest. The one friend he always had lunch with is now having lunch at a different time. The first day of school he tried to go sit with some boys he knew and they all got up and left him to sit there alone (my heart broke). One of his teachers called me yesterday and said that on Friday he was writing notes to other boys in school (as an attempt to make friends) and telling them to meet him on corner at 5pm and that they will be in this new group called 'The Creed' and that he would be the leader of group...I just feel sooo bad for him. He doesnt know how to make friends or even just fit in. I am currently unemployed and his dad is not 'on board' with paying money to get him involved in social skills programs that are offered. So i feel like I personally have to teach him how to interact normally with other kids. I am sure many of you other mom's struggle with this too, what have you done or found to help your child? Are there any free support groups in the Cleveland area for aspie kids? Any advice would be

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4 Comments

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Katherine - posted on 09/20/2011

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What about social stories? Also try meetup.com for support in your area.

Carol - posted on 09/20/2011

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I have a lot of the same problems now. It's so horrible to watch! If he's diagnosed (mine isn't officially) then the schools are supposed to offer social training as part of their services. I've been told that it falls under speech therapy. They learn how to speak with people. The school counselor should help you figure out a plan. It is free in a public school. I would continue to personally teach him how to interact normally with other kids. My son just doesn't seem to get "normal" things that we take for granted, but if he's been told to do some things and not do others, he does better. Ask the school counselor or your doctor's office for support groups in your area. If they don't know of any, ask for other parent's with aspie kids. They may not be able to give you names, but they can give your name to them. Hopefully you'll get a call. Start your own group. You don't have to be an expert. I had a neighbor who started her own group. She had about 50 (maybe more) people in the group. She was super organized and made a lot of connections on the internet to get information. She's helped a lot of us and began with nothing. Good luck.

Dawn - posted on 09/19/2011

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My son is now 15 and we had him in sports since he was 4. I think that has made it much easier for him to find common ground with other children. He is also very high functioning ASD. He does dummy himself down to try to fit in but I try to tell him not. What about boy scouts or DeMolay ( a youth group for boys sponsored by the Masons that teaches boys leadership skills and focuses on community service for those in your own community who need help)... I know it is hard and awkward but if he has an interest like anime or chess or reading there may be a group he can join that he will have enough in common with to fit in and begin to learn those social skills.
Good Luck!

Charlene - posted on 09/14/2011

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it is heart breaking when out kids get socially isolated especially when they are trying so hard to fit in. Perhaps you can start be facilitating some social skills with him yourself. you can even get some stories together that portray the social apects relating to his peer group. but keep reminding your son that he is bright and clever ; )

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