Autism & why all the repetitive questions? I am going crazy!

Wendy - posted on 08/29/2009 ( 44 moms have responded )

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I have an almost 10 year old daughter diagnosed with autism, pdd-nos, & adhd. It's a struggle each day. Because she gets grounded now, she asks no less than once a minute everyday "am I grounded?" She asks at anytime & wherever we are. Will throw a tantrum if she doesn't get an answer. It is so aggravating! There is always question after question to stuff she knows the answer to. Her therapist says she just needs confirmation & to ignore her. She wont let you ignore her. People stare & look funny at you & I just ignore them but it is so hard. I also have a 3 year old & I think he can also tell she is different. We are also changing her medicine AGAIN due to her reactions. She has scratched her nose til it bled & scared she may end up scarred. The doc's can't figure out why. Does anyone else have these problems? I need some positive advice & help to cope. If you dont have a child whom is different you hust dont understand & they cant advise you.

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Rosie - posted on 03/16/2012

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My daughter does the same thing, asking repetitive questions after you've just answered her. The best thing to do is remind them that they have already asked that specific question. I think what's going on is they get stuck, they want to have a conversation with you about the topic at hand but just don't know how to move on. I found that redirecting the question towards them is useful at times. This helps to think about what they are doing and helps move on.

Judi - posted on 09/06/2009

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My daughter is 11 and has Aspergers and does the repetitive questions too. Same thing,she will know that shes grounded but she will just keep asking over and over again if she's grounded and for how long. I finally have gotten to the point that I try to make my reaction to the questions(not the punishment) funny. When she has finally aggravated me ( and yes it's ok that we get aggravated or frustrated-doesn't mean we love them any less!) I try to make my reaction funny. Ex: She will ask me a question one time too many and I'll be like SHEW! I want you to ask another question! She usually will laugh and USUALLY that will end that question for a little while.

Vicky - posted on 09/06/2009

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Try saying, "Stop. Look in my Eyes. Tell me if you are grounded." Be patient and wait for a reply.

Christina - posted on 09/05/2009

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Our son, who is 9 with Asperger's, asks questions like a little lawyer. Once, he had my mother-in-law at bay for over 2 hours asking questions about Geography. First about flags, then capital cities, then whatever else he could think of. He gets on these kicks where he will ask everyone he meets the same line of questions. And it doesn't matter that he already asked before. He will ask them again the next time he runs into them.

He is on a coin kick right now. He asks so many questions about them. And, he won't leave his coins at home. He has to bring them with him wherever he goes. And line them up, touch them, stare at them, and ask a zillion questions about every country each coin is from.

All to say: it takes patience. And acceptance of your child. It is hard because he doesn't exactly relate normally to other 9-year old boys. I guess that I have just had to get used to the way he is and try to redirect him. Humor works sometimes too.

Whitney - posted on 09/06/2009

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My ( year old son has excatly the same diagnoses and he does the repetative questions too. His is I'm sorry over and over again.he on focalin with helps him focus but your not alone on being frustrated!

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[deleted account]

With my daughter, I just end up re-iterating information, it sounds awful but it works for us. For example, she will ask, " Am I six" over and over again all day, . So I say, you were five, but now its a year on, and you are 6, 6 comes after five, you are 6 years old. This is ongoing, but placates her for a while, can't wait til she is seven for a change of words, lol, u have to laugh or you would pull ya hair out :)

Shawn - posted on 09/04/2009

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Think of it like the toddler who asks "why?" a hundred times, or the elderly person who will forget what they asked you 5 minutes after they ask it . . . that is how they are. I know that does not make it easier, but I sometimes just have to say to myself "that is the way he is" and go off on my own for a while until I am not frustrated with the situation.

Elizabeth - posted on 09/04/2009

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hi wendy my son karl was biting his hand nails right down and they bleed.his therapist said to cut his nails and give him some hand cream and say oh look karl you have nice hands.so every few times a day put cream on and tell him its to make his hands nice. he still bits then .but not to the same extent.and not as much.hope thats of any use to you.liz.x keep in touch

Georgina - posted on 09/04/2009

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Hi Wendy my son is 15 has Adhd,Odd & Austism Spectrum characteristics which in the field means he is a mixture,It is very frustrating for him & everyone concerned & even more so now that puberty has kicked in..Like you we have our good days & our horrid days.But yes I totally know what you & everyone else is saying it aint easy thats for real.Stay positive youre doing a great job, keep on doing what works for you guys Wendy & know that you are not alone.All the best.Georgina

Theresa - posted on 09/03/2009

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Ask her what do you know think? Then say do you know why you are Grounded? dont say yes or no. Let her tell you.So thats why youre grounded . Are you gonna do that again? What will happed if you do? Get her to say I will be grounded. Make her resposible for her actions and make sure she knows why shes grounded. Dont tell her why. Ask her why shes grounded. Hope this helps

Stephanie - posted on 09/03/2009

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I know exactly what you are going through. My children are younger but the problem is similar. I have a 4 year old with PDD and a 5 yearold who is being tested for ADHD and Bi polar. My 4 year old ask the same questions over and over as well. I have 5 children so I have learned to ignore them. When he gets into that mood he will bang his head and hit me until I answer. At that time he goes into a time out. It has ataken some time but he is learning that he needs to stay in time out until he is calm and I will only answer him if he is calm. Constant reassurance and love. Be consistant and what ever you do dont give in.

[deleted account]

Hey Mandy, surprised you didn't come across this during your autism journey. It stands for pervasive developmental delay (disorder) not otherwise specified (eg: doesn't quite fit any other disorder)

Mandy - posted on 09/03/2009

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Hey Wendy, My son is exactly the same. He is 13. with a diagnosis of Autism. The questions he knows the answers to still occur every day. I believe it is his attempt to communicate, even though now, he has good communication. Maybe he asks the questions because the answers will not cause him to stress to think of a reply. When we ask him questions he has 3 or 4 replies. "I don't know, maybe, probably and mmmmmmmm (angree feelings). My son used to also get sores on his face and he would pick them all the time. I has small scars on his face now. I think I remember putting creams on them to stop them from feeling crusty. Your daughter probably likes the feel of the nose scratching. It may be like a noise or movement that makes her feel safe and comfortable. Thats why Autistic kids do repetitive things. The nose scratching could also be because she can predict your reaction. Knowing what will happen makes them feel safe. By the way, what is pdd-nos. I've never heard of it. My son had adhd also but he grew out of it and we stopped his medication. I hope this helps.

Kayrene - posted on 09/02/2009

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Sounds like the scratching is a sensory integration issue. Talk to her occupational therapist.
Make a chart of behaviors that she can get grounded for. Then have her check for herselfwhether she's grounded or not

Betsy - posted on 09/02/2009

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Hi Wendy

I have a five year old son with autism, pdd,ocd,adhd, odd. My son does this all the time with the repeating and asking question after question to things he already knows. He lost his speechat two and did not start talking again til he was four and still has diffuclties with putting some things in sentence or question form our therapist says hes always asking questions to train himself how to talk with others its to get reassurance that he still knows how to do this and when he was taught to talk this is how they taught him by repeating things over and over until he got it so this is how he stays with it and remembers things by asking the questions over and over. I get so frustrated with him but I always remember the day he lost his speech and all the work and time that went in to getting him to talk again and then I try to redirect his questions to asking him things about his day or what he would like to be when he grows up. On the picking at the nose My son is always blowing his nose even when there nothing to blow he does this when he's bord or nervous or even when he doesn't get his way. I guess it would be his tic, so we heard to redirect it with something else so we bought he hand exercise balls ( the dollor store has plenty ) the kind you just squeeze. they have also worked for his foscus skills in school and his tempertantrums. took him off all the meds with risperdal he would bark like a dog and chase his tail all day adderal would make him have severe emotions in short tryed them all everything came with a side effect I didn't want him to have to deal with he has so much to figure out how to manage now. Great book worked for my oldest 11 whos adhd and my five year old autistic son 123 magic. teaches different ways to disipline children that are not typicial worked well for us let me know how this works for you hope it helps. remember we all have one piece and together we can complete the puzzle. hope this helps

Lori - posted on 09/02/2009

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wendy..

Join the club I have a 15 year old step son that has Hyperlexis Autisum.. and he to will ask me the samething over & over & over,first never ignore them no matter hsow bad it gets.. I found out what wroks best is when he always asked .. right mom you love me..ect.. I say yes Alex I love you..I make the answer very fast & move on to differnt cov.I swear it is just his nauter to be resured all is good in his world most Autisum childern don't like change.. and if she gets in your face teach her what is your space & yours or set a time a day to ask all the question she may have.. not sure if there is anyone right answer you have to do waht works for her & you.. good luck & I'm with you on this...

Tami - posted on 09/02/2009

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Quoting carol:

i have 11 yr old son with dyspraxia diagnosed about 4yrs ago and recently diagnosed with asd autistic and adhd tendancies. i thought i was going crazy and it was me that was the problem until there was an incident in company of friends and i was told it was not me but that there was a problem. it took me a further 3 yrs fighting with schools and drs to get initial diagnosis. get in touch with dr or health visitor and tell them you need occupational therapy and you need more support for yourself and your child, occupational therapy taught me how my son felt and what life was like for him, so this gave me more empathy and ways to communicate better with him and to help him communicate with others, and also a way to explain to people his problems without me getting frustrated and angry everytime someone said he was a miserable child or ignorant but without underminding my son's feelings. i am also lucky that i have a very good friend who comes to all the appointments and meetings and she will take my son away for a day just so i can recharge batteries and get ready for next onslaught. if you have a friend or member of family who can take your daughter for a couple of hrs let them but this time is for relaxation and pamper even if it's in front of tv with a cuppa or a good old self indulgent cry in the bath.......not for a catch up on housework! you can't ignore your daughter crouch down to her level and look her in the eye when she wants an answer and put a big smile on your face they can't understand facial expressions so the bigger the smile you give the better hopefully she will relate this to positive answers and the question of being grounded will come up less if she sees a big silly grin on your face if it doesn't work at least you will feel positive as you have a big silly smile on your face that says i love life and nowt can knock me.when she has a tantrum calm her down (i know thats hard !!) find key words for yourself and your daughter and actions,mine is my son's name followed with calm down and my hand holds his wrist and a comforting arm round his shoulder this calms him down before he get's to angry i then send him to his calm down spot and when he is ready he will come down the happy child all anger gone. his calm down spot is a corner of his room where he can make a den so he is hidden from everyone but he can draw pictures or rip paper just something to take his frustration out on it i just check on him every 5 mins askin if he ok or needs a drink or wants to talk. if he wants to talk about it we sit on his bed as that is his safe place where no-one can upset him and we reason it all out. i hope that some of the stategies i have found that help me can help you.
remember we were given special children because we are special people and if we couldn't help them we wouldn't have been given them to begin with. you are doing great but keep knockin on doors of dr's, specialists and school. you have the right to ask for support for you and your child and they have to give it. don't give in.



I'm so glad an occupational therapist was able to help you. I just graduated with my degree in OT and I have a child with PDD-NOS. I only wish more doctors and educators understood what therapy can do with these kids. My son is 9 yrs. old and  I've been fighting with the schools and doctors to get help. I couldn't afford private therapy at the time and my insurance won't cover any therapy unless he has ADD. Since we have gotten my son in special ed. services at school for autism spectrum they have asked me to help them learn what they can do. Please continue to educate people on how OT can help thes kids. Our kids deserve to function in this world like everyone else and parents deserve to know how to work with their kids and all the inteventions out there that can help.  

Katchya - posted on 09/02/2009

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All I could think of when I read your post was. "does she have my child? I'm not alone." Mine is 6 almost 7 with the same things your child has add more and it mine. But man I get SO SICK of him aking where arewe?... Then he says a city. Why are we doing this?.. Man I just wish he would think and he knows the answer. I take a lot of deep breaths. I wish he would stop but I know he will not and I don't want to live with out him. I just want a "normal" child. I think that a lot. But then everyone has problems with there "normal" children. Just think how much she meens to you and what you would do with out her. That helps me get through the day. I just don't want to live with out him.

Jennifer - posted on 09/02/2009

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My son does the exact same thing, as far as asking you questions he already knows. He's also 10. His speech therapists have said to reverse the question back to him (i.e. "What do you think?"), but I'm not certain this is helping. It's hard to ignore your children when all they're doing is seeking confirmation and perhaps even using these questions as means to starting a conversation (which is also what his therapists have said, too). Good luck. I'm right there with you :)

CARRIE - posted on 09/01/2009

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Hi Wendy, my son is 8 & was officially diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome a few months ago. OCD was diagnosed just a few short months before that & ADHD when he was 4. My son has repeatedly asked questions since he could actually ask 3+ word questions. Sometimes I give him the correct answer just something different, like "why is the sky blue? because the grass is green" "why is the sky blue? because the clouds are white." Sometimes this will actually get him thinking about what I've said & will engage him in more dialogue because then he begins to ask different questions about the same topic. Sometimes I will give him the incorrect answer by the 3rd or 4th time. he will call me on it sometimes which allows him to recognize what he's doing. Other times he will simply quit asking. It definitely can be exhausting but he doesn't even realize that's the effect it can have. Sometimes, depending on the circumstances, I"ll point out or remind him that it's annoying me or we need to move on to something else. Sometimes he seems to appreciate my candor, other times it doesn't matter, he HAS to do it. Keep on keepin on! As he's gotten older, I found some of his questions to be quite profund for such a little guy. But to get a glimpse into how he sees the world sometimes is very exciting! That's a great day!

Kendee - posted on 09/01/2009

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Hi Wendy! My son does that all the time! It is almost as though he gets comfort in asking questions that he already knows the answer to. It is predictable and repetetive, which he likes in many aspects of his life. A behavioral therapist that we worked with when he was younger, told us to tell him "we've talked enough about that now". If I use those exact words, he will stop repetitively asking me the same question.

Karen - posted on 09/01/2009

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Oh yeah he also has ADHD and has been on many different meds since age 6. Adderall, Ritalin, Prozac, Zoloft, Risperdal. Now he takes Concerta and Remeron which so far is working well. The adderall caused a lot of tics and the Risperdal caused him to gain about 50 lbs in less than 6 mos., he lost all of that weight after being taken off of medication.

Karen - posted on 09/01/2009

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I have a 14 yr old son with Aspergers, he constantly asks questions over and over and when you answer him he tried to argue what you are saying, in a debate sort of way. At times I ignore him, and he knows it. The only positive thing I can say in may case is as he has gotten older he has gotten better. The only problem now is he is interested in girls and I know that he will have a lot of rejection headed his way, so that ought to be loads of fun. Just keep being patient.

Tami - posted on 09/01/2009

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MY son is 9 and was just placed under the autistic spectrum in school. This was a long time coming. He has PDD-NOS, he has had symptoms since he was one yr. old. It took forever for anyone to do anything. Our doc. just said we wll have to deal with whatever issues come along. I know what your going through, he has very particular behaviors like all these kids do and none of them are the same. I too feel like people are looking at us when a melt down occurs. You can't ignore her when she ask those repetitve questions that is part of the condition. I just recently graduated with my degree in Occupational Therapy. As therapist, we work very closely with these children and if you have questions I would be happy to give some suggestions. I just try different things that I have learned in school with my son and go with what works for him.

Marlene - posted on 09/01/2009

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Carol . I really enjoyed reading that . My adopted son is my one and only child i will have . Even tho he is autistic , I love him to pieces . I'm learning as I go . You seem to have alot of patience . I am getting there . It gets better day by day . I learn more about his wants and what makes him happy and what irratates him . He use to hit himself alot . His legs and tummy . My hubby turned it into a positive . So now when he gets frustrated . He plays the drums easy on his legs and tummy . He actually gets a rythm going . Today was a doctor visit for him . They doctor told me his progress from one year ago since i have had him is remarkable . I took him out of a very bad situation where he was abused . Took him a minute to open up . My son is very very very loving now . He is a big hair smeller !! I would like to chat with you sometime about autism . I found your ways to be very similar to how I am with my son .

Carol - posted on 09/01/2009

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i have 11 yr old son with dyspraxia diagnosed about 4yrs ago and recently diagnosed with asd autistic and adhd tendancies. i thought i was going crazy and it was me that was the problem until there was an incident in company of friends and i was told it was not me but that there was a problem. it took me a further 3 yrs fighting with schools and drs to get initial diagnosis. get in touch with dr or health visitor and tell them you need occupational therapy and you need more support for yourself and your child, occupational therapy taught me how my son felt and what life was like for him, so this gave me more empathy and ways to communicate better with him and to help him communicate with others, and also a way to explain to people his problems without me getting frustrated and angry everytime someone said he was a miserable child or ignorant but without underminding my son's feelings. i am also lucky that i have a very good friend who comes to all the appointments and meetings and she will take my son away for a day just so i can recharge batteries and get ready for next onslaught. if you have a friend or member of family who can take your daughter for a couple of hrs let them but this time is for relaxation and pamper even if it's in front of tv with a cuppa or a good old self indulgent cry in the bath.......not for a catch up on housework! you can't ignore your daughter crouch down to her level and look her in the eye when she wants an answer and put a big smile on your face they can't understand facial expressions so the bigger the smile you give the better hopefully she will relate this to positive answers and the question of being grounded will come up less if she sees a big silly grin on your face if it doesn't work at least you will feel positive as you have a big silly smile on your face that says i love life and nowt can knock me.when she has a tantrum calm her down (i know thats hard !!) find key words for yourself and your daughter and actions,mine is my son's name followed with calm down and my hand holds his wrist and a comforting arm round his shoulder this calms him down before he get's to angry i then send him to his calm down spot and when he is ready he will come down the happy child all anger gone. his calm down spot is a corner of his room where he can make a den so he is hidden from everyone but he can draw pictures or rip paper just something to take his frustration out on it i just check on him every 5 mins askin if he ok or needs a drink or wants to talk. if he wants to talk about it we sit on his bed as that is his safe place where no-one can upset him and we reason it all out. i hope that some of the stategies i have found that help me can help you.

remember we were given special children because we are special people and if we couldn't help them we wouldn't have been given them to begin with. you are doing great but keep knockin on doors of dr's, specialists and school. you have the right to ask for support for you and your child and they have to give it. don't give in.

Marlene - posted on 09/01/2009

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I would give anything . If my son would ask me questions over and over . I have had him for one year . He babbles but does not talk yet . He just turned 7 . I get so excited when he says Ma or Daddy . I would prolly jump over the moon if I heard him ask me a question . I would do my best to do or answer anything he were to ask me . I would be estatic !!

Melanie - posted on 09/01/2009

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It's hard to deal with...my son is 9, and he constantly repeats questions over and over....And if you ignore him it gets worse. I just try and answer the question as calmly as possible (the first 10 times or so!), and then I will try something like, "Didn't we just discuss this? What did mommy say?". He can repeat back to me what I said, and sometimes that defuses the situation.

Melissa - posted on 09/01/2009

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Hi Wendy,

i have 3 children two who have autism! My daughter is 7 years old and she is just staring to talk a little better! But my 3 year old does not speak at all and it is very hard to commiuncate with him! He throws temper trantrams and he crys if he is hungry tired or tristy! My hubby and I struggle alot because we dont know much about autism! We feel very overwhelmed but together we make things easier for them by readin to them and writng with them! i know it is hard but just try to do your best cause thats all u can do! My fear is that our 1 year old will have ausitm as well and we will have our hans full and not know how to deal with it!

[deleted account]

Repetiveness comes with the territory. You are such an awesome Mom! It isn't easy but we do learn ways to cope. My 12 year old is PDD NOS, developmentally delayed and has a host of physical disabilities including visual impariment and hearing impariment. Try developing a behavior management plan. One idea would be that she gets to ask the same question a certain number of times. ( You'll need to record how many she asks naturally first and then set a resonable limit. For example, if she askes 50 times now.. you can't expect her to go to 3 times tomorrow). Have her record how many times she asks. When she gets to her limit, she can't ask any more. Point out that the answer hasn't changed. ( OR has it? is shouldn't). Another idea would be to write the answer on a card. (tricky if your child doesn't read-- red for yes, blue for no will work)... give her the card or show it to her, etc every time she asks. Again, always point out that the answer is the same no matter how many times she asks. Each idea needs to be tailored to your child's cognitive abilities. It ALL takes energy. But I always feel like when I am using a card system, at least I am trying something instead of counting aimlessly in my head so I don't explode!



The cool part about using behavior management plans is that there is a clear plan with clear rules and everyone can use it.. Dad, sitter, grandma. And it can be used on little sibllings if necessary... it isn't limited to the special needs child.



Good luck. Hang in there. You are doing a great job.

Francie - posted on 09/01/2009

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Hi Wendy,
I don't have any tricks for making it stop, but perhaps the best way to keep if from being so frustrating is to understand it for what it is. Our children cannot "read" the emotional states of other people. Perhaps when your daughter continually asks if she is grounded, she is really seeking reassurance that she is not in trouble and that you love her. When my son asks questions repeatedly, I understand that simply getting an answer to the question doesn't give him the level of comfort he is seeking, so he asks repeatedly to get repeated reassurance that he is not in trouble and needn't worry. The process of asking the question (just like the process of repeating facts over and over) may be one of your daughter's coping mechanisms for comforting herself when she is stressed or overstimulated. I know that my son will come and ask me "what are you doing" repeatedly when he is bored.

All the best,
Francie

Lisa - posted on 08/31/2009

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I also have a son that`s autistic.I know what it`s like . He asks the same questions over and over all the time.I`ve also tried to ignore him but he just gets mad a starts screaming at us. He`s got a twin brother and a older brother that is 13. What I`ve tried to do is get him to tell me whats bothering him. Sometimes he will tell me sometimes he want say anything he will just scream. Then at times when he gets mad he wants to be alone until he calms down. I know what you go through I go through it everyday. Hang in there it sounds like you are doing a great job.

Céline - posted on 08/31/2009

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My son is now 12 and as soon as he started talking ( 3 years old)....the questions began and never stopped. Now i just turn the question on him.....i ask the exact same question he is asking me. I have seen a change since i started this ( 4 years ago)...now he knows that when i do not answer and he knows i herd him...he thinks and gets his own answer and he tells me flat out " i know the answer mom "
Alot of people tell me to ignore him but when i do...he turns around and tells me...u r ignoring me ...you do not love me.....breaks my heart but i just tell him i do not answer questions he already has answers to. He is not as aggravating as he was...it is a work in progress but i know it will never disappear....i just wish i was more like him when it comes to having answers...i am usually the shy type and do not want to bother anyone....my son is showing me how it pays off to persist and get what you want or need. I guess that is one of the reason God gave me this child to adopt...i had something to learn from it.

Cherise - posted on 08/31/2009

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My son was diagnosed with autism at 3 1/2 years old...he is 8 now. He is a movie buff. He is not so repetive anymore but u have to entertain them just a little bit. I find that if i remind him that he already knows the answer to it and then answer him, i may get away the next time the urge comes. He can't help himself so i try to be a little more understanding. I know its hard.. believe me.. but you have to work thru it for yourself so u don't go crazy.

[deleted account]

So true. The endless questioning is also her way of engaging you in conversation. I know it is exhaustively tiresome, but this is the best she can do for connecting with you. I often ask my son the question as soon as I have answered it. "Today you are not grounded. Are you grounded today?" Not that he will answer me, but sometimes it slows him down if I pre-empt him. I try to answer fully, "Yes, you are grounded today because..." I don't always have this much patience, but I try. If your three year old is typical, he can take up answering sister's questions too. Find some quiet and rest for yourself from time to time, if possible. Just recharging your own batteries will make you better able to deal with the frustrations that come from special-needs and toddler parenting.

Julie - posted on 08/30/2009

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My 6 year old asks questions all day long and will repeat them even when you have given him the answer. We now repeat what he is saying when he starts repeating and it stops. We figured out that he was repeating the question to make sure we understood the words he was saying, not so much on wanting the answer to the question.

Jade - posted on 08/30/2009

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hi wendy, my son doesnt talk yet so i cant give u advice on that but i noticed u said her brother has noticed she is different there is a book i recently brought for my other son it says "my brother is different" but there is one that says "my sister is different" it is written by the national autistic society and is really good at explaining autism to children and what they can do to help there sibling. x

Wendy - posted on 08/29/2009

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Thank you for your thoughts. Her nose bleeds due to scratching & rubbing it raw & right now it has multiple sore/scabs on it. She has enough problems dealing with other kids who dont understand her but with a messed up face it makes it worse for her. I have posted a note on fridge that states you are not grounded but it only works some. She wants a NO out of me even if the answer is no & demands it. It can work my nerves & I dont really want to ground her for it or punish her but she just pushes & pushes.

Ani - posted on 08/29/2009

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My son, almost 17 has done the same thing with nose bleeds. He has Trichotillomannia which is obsessive hair pulling. I told my son that I wanted him to stop pulling the hair on his body, so he then obsessed on his nose and would have multiple nose bleeds in one day. We've been to the ER with them.

It sounds like she has more compulsive tendencies. You could implement a solution or process that if she needs the reassurance she would non-verbally ask the question or verbally and you could show her an index card that says, "You are grounded." Or you could give her the card and when she internally asks, she looks at the card and has her answer. I would learn more about the obsessive tendencies and work with someone that can help her overcome these. I would advise you to educate yourself on obsessive tendencies and how to counter this behavior. She will need this for her life skills both now and later in life.

Please, feel free to contact me about this. My son has ASD, OCD, and anxiety / depression. You are not alone!

Wendy - posted on 08/29/2009

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Thank you Josie, I am going to try what you & others have responded to try. It is so hard when she presses for the answer anyway, but I have to be positive & work through this. All moms with different children are in my prayers.

Wendy - posted on 08/29/2009

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Thank you Cindy so much. I almost cried when I read your response. I am new to this site & really thought I was the only one. I love the quote if you cant beat them join them so I guess I will try to turn things around. Another favorite quote is look at the abilities not the disabilities.

Josie - posted on 08/29/2009

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My son asks question after question (even when he knows the answer). What we have done is when he asks us a question we will turn the question around to him. For example if he asks "Am I grounded?" We will say, "Do you think you are grounded?" when he answers, we will ask, "Why are you grounded?" then "What did you learn from your mistake?" We have found that when we ask him questions, not only does the bombardment of questions stop but he is able to learn accountability for his actions. For the first time is his life (he is eight) last week he admitted that he was responsible for something.

Wendy - posted on 08/29/2009

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Quoting Cindy:

hi wendy...I have a daughter who is now 15 but was diagnosed with severe autism when she was just 18 months old....the repetiveness doesn't go away...It's one of the main characteristics with autism...My Sherrie has asked over n over n over many times...I know it can be very aggrevating, but one thing you have to understand is they can't help the way they are...and you just have to deal with it the best you can...Sherrie is always making up off the wall words too that dont make any sense...and when i ask her..."sherrie what does that mean?"...she'll say "i dont know...it's just part of being me"..which is so true....we share a lot of laughs, because i found out, if ya can't beat them, join them....good luck wendy...trust me, i know its not easy...ive been a single parent for a long time and have raised her and my other daughter alone...


 

Cindy - posted on 08/29/2009

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hi wendy...I have a daughter who is now 15 but was diagnosed with severe autism when she was just 18 months old....the repetiveness doesn't go away...It's one of the main characteristics with autism...My Sherrie has asked over n over n over many times...I know it can be very aggrevating, but one thing you have to understand is they can't help the way they are...and you just have to deal with it the best you can...Sherrie is always making up off the wall words too that dont make any sense...and when i ask her..."sherrie what does that mean?"...she'll say "i dont know...it's just part of being me"..which is so true....we share a lot of laughs, because i found out, if ya can't beat them, join them....good luck wendy...trust me, i know its not easy...ive been a single parent for a long time and have raised her and my other daughter alone...

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