Behaviour problems

Bethany - posted on 06/24/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My 8 yr old has yet to receive a diagnosis of asd. Her anger is getting worse she is up and down all the time one min happy happy next min screeching and screaming at me. She screams at me alot and gets angry so easily, also her table manners have got worse she used to eat so well at the dinner table and had great manners. She now stuffs her face and eats off her fork and burps out loud..without a care in the world. If she gets hurt she will just flip out and screech and shout at me she goes bright red and just gets so wound up. She finds it hard to even follow instructions and is always asking me what I said even when i've said it 5 times clearly. She can't find any urgency in anything and will still wet her pants to avoid going to the toilet. She will lie about needing the toilet but fight me tooth and nail that she isn't lying and then wets herself even with proof that she lied she will still insist she hasn't lied. She manages just about to hold herself together during school time and which means nbody really sees what I see. Her teacher told me last week that my daughter had infact shouted at her teacher when she had asked to her to stop doing something and tidy up! this is quite new for my daughter to lash out like that with anyone else. I am a single parent and I am finding it increasingly upsetting that the doctors here seem to think this is not asd. I am at my wits end :-(

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8 Comments

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Deb - posted on 06/26/2012

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Bethany~

School doctor??? You need to take her to a Pediatric Neurologist and/or a Pediatric Neuropsychiatrist.

This behavior will only get worse if you don't address it correctly (ie get the correct diagnosis and meds or therapy)

This is not something that will change by sitting and talking with her! I wish you good luck. Don't stop until you get some answers. BTW, the bedwetting and the behavior can be completely unrelated as well.

Let us know how you fair

Lisa - posted on 06/25/2012

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Okay - I did just see your reply. I have 2 boys. My 10 year old has ASD and SPD. My teenager has Tourette's Syndrome, OCD and bipolar disorder. What you are describing does not sound like ASD. I agree with some of the others that it sounds like bipolar. I'm no expert either, but since I parent children with each of these disorders, I think it gives me a wee bit of insight. There are lots of other possibilities, too. ASD children mostly have social, sensory and motor issues. Only my bipolar son has the mood swings like what you describe. He would hold it in all day at school like your daughter, then lash out at everyone as soon as he got in the car after school. Keep going until you find the answer. Don't give up, but don't assume it's this or that. The ASD diagnosis seems to be very popular right now. I'm not sure why, but explore the other possibilities, too. I would recommend starting with a pediatric psychiatrist or neurologist.

Lisa - posted on 06/25/2012

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Why do you think this is ASD? From reading just your post, I would have the same opinion as the doctor.

Cherish - posted on 06/25/2012

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I was thinking that is sounds more like bi-polar too,or maybe anxiety and/or depression,if she never has a "good cycle".
If she has ADHD and anxiety they can feed into each other...like the ADHD makes it hard for her to pay attention and then maybe she gets anxious and "blows up" when somebody asks her something.
have you read "the explosive child"?
That book is SO helpful re ADHD and behaviors

Sharlene - posted on 06/25/2012

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Its sound like she might be going through puberty, early stages, My son is 9 yrs old and has autism spetrum and his going through it now. Its true alot of children with special needs go through puberty. Maybe take for a check up. Is she on any meds? Or has something new like change routine or something at school. Is she also in a special autism unit or does she go to mainstrem school.sorry Im reading the last post

Bethany - posted on 06/25/2012

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Thank you for your replies x :-)

she has always been what we call stubborn but always in the past you have been able to reason with her, we have just moved house but this all started way before that happened..it was a quick move and its a much better place with her own play room etc. I am more concerned at the fact that she doesn't seem to care or even attempt to change the way she speaks to me or what she does. There are alot of other things that go on:

she collects money in socks everywhere even though i bought her a cash box to put her money in

she often doesn't want to leave the house

she will start a craft project and within 3 minutes she's screeching at me because she can't find something or can't do it.

She is constantly struggling with friendships because she doesn;t understand her friends and they don't understand her, she's had 5 differetn children sat next to her in class this year because she can't cope.

She can tell you in great detail what every child is doing in that class when the teacher leaves the room.

she can't ever see a positive everything is doomed there is never any "thats ok maybe i can do it this way"

she is obbsessive about colours being in rainbow order

I could go on... I have sat her down on so many occassions to talk about her behaviour we've spent hours talking it through but she just has a blank expression and gets really really emotionally teary and upset but she reverts straight back to it. I have tried reward systems but to be honest she really doesn't care about anything that much. She is a year ahead intellectually at school her reading age is 10+ and she is very good at maths, she hates sport with a vengence except cycling. She seems to be terrified of eveything.

I have an appointment 4th july with our school doctor but she doesn't seem to think anything is wrong.
My daughter has been incontinent for 4 years at school and has been on medication to help relax her bladder she is nearly there now and is not taking the meds anymore...she would refuse to get up in class to go to the toilet because her friends would see her.

Anaquita - posted on 06/24/2012

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Honestly? This kind of sounds more like bipolar disorder, than an ASD. I could be wrong though as I'm not a psychologist or a neurologist. However the mood swings are far more indicative of that. Are there any other things you see that you didn't list here...?

Cherish - posted on 06/24/2012

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Hi,
Little girls are a trip :) they do get moody(think PMS w/out the actual period).
Have you read "the explosive child" or "the out of sync child",they are both wonderful books for sensory and how they relate to behaviors."the explosive child" is wonderful as it talks about ADHD/ADD and lying...
Can she explain what is wrong?I wonder if something happened at school,if her behaviors are new?
My daughter has CAPD and often when I ask her something she looks at me like I am speaking another language,so I use different words until she gets it.

Has she started or stopped any new meds or has a dose changed?Has her sleeping changed?Has there been any major life changes in the last 6 months(like a move,a new baby..etc)?


Kids w/ sensory issues often "hold it together" at school but then "loose it" at home.