chance's story

Esperanza - posted on 02/19/2012

my state doesnt have as many resources as id like for chance:( i get food stamps you know and i try talking to my case worker about the good and bad things and shes always got negative stuff to say about chance and she doesnt even no him like the last time she told me she was like well hes probably gonna wind up in an institution but at least you got 15 more years to enjoy him for, i cried for months and i called and complained because this last time i was afraid kids in regular school might tease him and she said it was inevitable that i would just have to accept they would and move on with my life.i know one thing and that is i cant lose chance. i wish i had the confidence you guys have. i feel like such a i dunno bad parent i know i dont set enough bounderies or maybe offer enough consistency with dicipline but i dont know where to begin cause i dont know what he will understand and w hat he wont and i hate to see him unhappy yet im realizing i cant give him his own way for everything either. how do you guys keep yourself together?

Sharlene - posted on 02/19/2012

My son was born with autism. We got my son dignoised at a young age as well 1.5 yrs old and the doctors said he had childhood autism and his behavior was beyond believe , Alot of intervention problems then again at 3 yrs old we were told he had Autism spertrum ,still speech theraphy and intervention again and now he is turning 9 yrs old and well behaviored and mannered and interacts perfectly with other people and children and his schooling is perfect , Please dont blame your self ,I say god gave us these children with special needs for a reason and that reason is course god known we are tough and stronge to have these babies or children ,I 've also have two other children with different special needs . If youi get the right connections and support groups ans associations .your little boy will be just fine and the support and conncetions would help you and your family and your son .If you ever want to chat to me please feel free .take care

Adriana - posted on 02/18/2012

I dont think you are a horrible parent!!!!! neither I think that we have done something wrong with them.

I have never be patient my baby plant this patient seed in me and is slowly growing!!!!!!! On the other side he is just 2 and is not agressive at all and I dont really think he make tantrums I try not to expose him to what I know he cant handle like long trips, extended shopping journeys, I try to crate him a routine so he knows what to expect and not get anxious. I have never spank him because I dont want him see that horrible transformation of his MOM and of course I dont want him to give him the idea that spanking is a way to try to solve a problem. Of course ther have been a couple of times that I want to do it but I just move to another room and calm first myself , otherwise I wont be able to calm him. As I said he is just 2 and still have a long journey but I pray and I hope he wont get to an agressive and tantrum point in which I would not know what to do!!!!

Esperanza - posted on 02/18/2012

i feel horrible i just now realized how like a horrible parent i must sound? i dont even no i feel this way until i right my feelings down. i love my son more than anything in the world sometimes its just hard cause hes into everything and breaking things and hurting people so i will find myslef just wonder gosh y cant he be like everyone else. most the time i have patience and dont feel that way gosh im even ashamed of saying it now. my little boy and me we have a thing i tell him mommy and change together forever and he will sometimes smile shyly up at me and say mommy and chance and i will complete the sentence. long ago i figured out that having a child with autisim was in a lot of ways much more rewarding because the things other parents take for granted we get to apreciate. its all the more special to us because were seeing it new and in a fresh light. when it comes down to it i guess you could say i blame myself for his autism. i keep wondering what i couldve done differently. that grey mass thats in his brain they say that was from the way he formed in me so it goes to say that i did this to him if id only known that i would do this to him damn... i love him so much i wouldve had him anyways but it kills me to know i ruined life for my son. to know that he might not be able to graduate have a familly or go to college. my emotions are always in a rollercoaster because in a way im still having a hard time facing this and its hard to face on my own because i dont have many people i can talk to or relate to you know. you seem like a very patient mom does your child get aggressive? what kinds of discipline have you found useful?

Adriana - posted on 02/18/2012

Hi Esperanza, looks like its a long way to go for we all moms whos kid have benn diagnosed with any of the "autistic .....disorders". I have very good days in which I feel positive and some of my kids behaviors will give me hope, but some other days I just want to cry all day long.My baby havent been diagnosed yet we have been in a waiting list for almost 2 months....but I found different things on his behavior and his development so I took him to early interventionprogram and he have been on it for near 6 months... no big results so they suggest the evaluation for autism. At first I started trying to read a lot to find the cause, look backward on what can we have done wrong and others, but at this point I realize theres not such an answer and even if there was one it wont really help us to become what we will call "normal". So at this point what I am trying to do is to accept he is different and that means he will learn in a different way, he will behave in a different way, he will love in a different way and we will have a different life. So that means I will have to enjoy him in a different way and interact with him in a different way, not better not worst but definetly different. I have find very helpful to celebrate ,I mean huge party celabration!!! when he have even a little progress I think this gives him confidence and lets him know that I am here for him no matter what. Here is a link to something that I read and it really makes me keep on, so read it every time you feel like you want to wake up from this bad nightmare. http://momnos.blogspot.com/2010/03/on-be...