Do any moms have children that have little or no sense of male and female?

Lisa - posted on 07/27/2012

The you and I thing is something my son does also. He's five and when he wants to do something, he'll say, "You want to go for a walk." I'm not sure if he's just projecting his desire onto me so I'll want to do what he does or if he is talking about himself. We just keep saying, "Say I want to go for a walk." Then, he repeats it and over time, we hope he'll internalize the change.

Erin - posted on 07/26/2012

My son pdd-nos used to do this at around your son's age. Our children develope differently so I think it just takes them longer to relize gender different toys. My son got a my little pony in his Eastor basket this year. A little girl at his school had one and he wanted one too. I don't think they care as much. Just recently I've heard him say "that's for girls." He also plays with toys different too. He'd rather line his toys up and obsearve them.

He also used to call himself you instead of I. Your son is probably doing the same thing with the he and the she.

Dawn - posted on 07/19/2012

My son doesnt role play or "play much with toys" he builds and plays computer games. However as a preK teacher I can tell you 3yr olds often mix up he/she me/you not as common in the 4s and generally gone in the 5s. As to toys and colors many at this age play with everything, they are trying to learn "their role" so they try it all. They also do what they see. If moomy wears makeup and we are around mommy most then we want make up (boy or girl) If daddy freaks when his boy picks up a baby doll---guess who will not pick up a doll? Maybe not even their own baby later if it was instilled as a girl thing. Little ones explore they want to know what it feels like or looks like and want to see what reaction they will get. So smile hand you little boy the pink fairy wand and your little girl the toy drill and enjoy. Soon enough they will be told "what are boys/girls things" Besides think of all the future date/misbehaving photo bribes you will have!

Sarah - posted on 07/14/2012

Yes, my son just turned 7, but figured out this year solidly the male and female plus pronouns. "He" and "She" he mixed up for a long time even after he figured out the male and female. He still when tired will mix up he or she. We just practiced a lot in his ABA sessions and got it straightened out after a couple of years.

Katrina - posted on 07/13/2012

I'm so pleased to hear someone else's child does that. I repeat what he says (with correction) "yes, that's right, she is" and have been trying for so very long but he won't budge. My 11 year old neurotypical child never did that. Owen's favourite colour is pink and he LOVES the girl stuff, but just for the record, "it's for boys mummy". Oh and he's decided that when he's a mummy he will like coffee too" LOL Oh and my son has been diagnosed with Aspergers (evolving). Sounds like it affects alot of different kids, but all the same, I think it's cute-funny.

Lisa - posted on 07/12/2012

I think it's wonderful that yesterday, my 5 year old told me, "I'm a beautiful princess." He loves being a princess sometimes. And he loves to have tea parties with his pink and purple tea set.


Recently, he was mad at me and said, "Mommy, you go back to sleep." I had just woken from a nap and my husband said, "Why do you want Mommy to go back to sleep?" Lyric replied, "Because I don't like him." (He often tells me this or "This is just Daddy time" because he wants his Daddy all to himself and he knows once I'm awake, Daddy talks to me as much as to him so I don't take it personally.)

We've actually been working really hard to help him get the gender references correct as he's now 5 and he's getting better at it.

Anaquita - posted on 07/12/2012

That's normal for any kid of that age. They usually only pick gender specific stuff if they're really pushed upon by parents, or older siblings. And honestly? I never bothered pushing it with my kid.

Denikka - posted on 07/11/2012

My son does not have autism, but he also doesn't have much of a sense of boy/girl. He frequently says *he* when referring to his sister and while he prefers trains and dinosaurs, he also plays with stuffed animals, baby dolls and cars. And he also likes bright colours and doesn't really discriminate between pink or blue (boy/girl colours)
He's 3yrs 4mo by the way.
I don't know if, in your sons case, it has anything to do with autism. I personally don't really think so. I think it's just the age. Whenever my son gets a gender thing wrong (like calling his sister *good boy* or referring to her as *he* or *him*) I just correct him and move on. It's no big deal and I think they'll grow out of it eventually.
I think it's great that you encourage his imaginative play in all its forms though :) It can get pretty boring just playing one role all of the time. Imagination is for being something that, normally, you aren't :)

Jenn - posted on 07/11/2012

thanks for your reply. it doesnt bother me either, i enjoy him love for bright colors (incl pink :)) i was just curious if it stems from his autism. i figured it did but ive never read anything about it.

Lisa - posted on 07/11/2012

My five year old is like that. He has Asperger's Syndrome (soon to be called high functioning autism in the new DSM-5) and he still has a hard time using personal pronouns. He does know the difference between males and females but seems not to notice sometimes unless I point it out to him.

He also loves boy and girl toys equally. He loves princesses and has a princess costume but he also loves knights and has a knight costume. I have NO problem with him liking these things and encourage his imaginative play in whatever form it takes.