does anyone deal with biting. My son Robert, four, in frustration bites younger brother Michael, two

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Stacey - posted on 12/31/2009

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I have not had this problem with my son, but I saw a little girl in one of my son's speech pathology sessions who wore this thing around her neck, a bit like a necklace but with a round rubber tube around it. She seemed to put things in her mouth a lot, including the neck of her tshirt, so she was encouraged to put this in her mouth instead, if you could find one from an Autism site or something maybe you could encourage your son to bite this instead of his brother, it might work.

User - posted on 01/01/2010

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I am not at all trying to be sarcastic with this comment, so please don't think I am; however, with a lot of children on the spectrum, you can get the reverse you would expect. A bite to a child on the spectrum might actually be "pleasant" as sensory issues are often present. The pressure, the wetness, the whole experience, mightly be oddly "pleasant."

I would not recommend biting a child to stop them from biting. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth (that was meant to be the funny part! LOL)

Sheila

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Rebecca - posted on 01/01/2010

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My son used to bite very bad, to the point he was asked to leave in in-home daycare, and his first large daycare center. It wasn't til the third daycare when they noticed something didn't seem right. Thru a bunch of doctor's visits, we found out he was having a hard time hearing what was happening around him. Finally got tubes in his ears. He can hear very well now but he has a speech delay so he needs speech therapy. And as far as biting back the first daycare the lady bit him(left a bruise on him for awhile) and it still didn't stop.

Lisa - posted on 01/01/2010

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This is my first shot at this but our son is going through speech therapy to work on using words to express frustration. I wouldn't recommend biting back. Our son bites himself so hard that it breaks the skin which possibly means that he tends to do it for sensory issues. We usually give him a chewy toy and encourage him to use words to get to the bottom of why he's frustrated. There will be a time when he may be bigger than you and may just turn the frustration on you. Take care.

Chantelle - posted on 01/01/2010

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Please do not bite your child to teach him a lesson, not only is this cruel but how is that supposed to teach your child not to bite??? For example if your kid stabs you in the back with a knife are you going to stab him with a knife? Just so he knows how it feels and maybe it will stop him from doing it ever again? Sorry people but I totally disagree with this method of biting your child back.

My son went through this problem and we learnt that he was doing it as he was extremely anxious and did not like children being near him. (he has autism)

We found ways to reduce his stress, we learnt the warning signs that he was becoming anxious and then gradually he stopped biting. When he did bite, he was removed from the situation and told off for doing it. (NO BITING) He'd sit in his time out area while we dealt with the victim. We also gave him something he could bite into when he was feeling anxious and stressed.

I know it's stressful but just hang in there because eventually with patience and education (not child abuse) he will stop it.

User - posted on 12/31/2009

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My son bites when over-stimulated....happy, sad, mad...Generally speaking, I can easily anticipate any biting when he is upset, and I grab a towel for him and he clamps down...on my shoulder he will open mouth clamp, but it is not a true bite...hard to explain.

Real bites occur when he is happy....literally, I will be standing there and this happy little guy will suddenly bite my leg/my bottom end, or my hand...whatever is closest....it's like this burst of WOW comes out. He has bit his dad and his sister.....it is very hard not to react because when he is that UP he can crash very quickly into screaming. It is over stimulation and it comes out in one way or another.

I cannot give him chews because he has literally bit the ends off (that's how intense his bite is). Thankfully, at 5.5 we are almost through this stage...

When he would hit/strike out, my son was given an immediate SIT ON THE SPOT command. It was very challenging to implement, and I had to do it regardless of where I was or who was present. He was told no hitting/no kicking..etc BUT only TWO words...no explanation. It is an absolute rule and I didn't want the message confused. Initially, he would sign sorry, but now he speaks. We bought lots of books (Hands are not for hitting series) and as he has gotten older, we speak about being gentle.

Good luck.

Sheila

Nancy - posted on 12/31/2009

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My son is almost 18, but from 4 to 6 he would bite. I would try to let him focus on things he really liked..certain movies etc.. But I would have to many times over n over try to b on constant guard about it.. The school was a big help.. He started it when he was 3 1/2.. It's hard but working out a technique is the only way to go..good luck..

Judi - posted on 12/31/2009

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Have you tried ignoring the biter and lavishing attention on the bitee. Ricky was a hair puller and I found this worked. Also a chewy toy to bite and deep pressure on the chin. Check with your OT about other solutions. favourite toy removal after warning helps too.

LeeAnn - posted on 12/31/2009

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OM GOSH!!! I am going through the EXACT same thing right now!!! I was actually going to start a convo about it! My 3 year old daughter bites my nearly 2 year old daughter ALL THE TIME!! To the point that she leaves bruises, and occasionally breaks the skin! I can't leave her alone with her at all, because as soon as I leave the area, she bites her! I don't know what to do!! They both still have passy's ( the oldest for oral sensory stimulation, and the youngest because she uses it to soothe and sleep) and my oldest has Chewy tubes, because oral sensory input seems to be her most desired form. We have tried scolding, spanking, redirection, giving her the Chewy tube, and seperating them....I don't know what to try!!! I don't want to bite her, because I don't like that idea, and she also has a decreased sense of pain, and used to bite herself to the point of bruises and broken skin. She doesn't do this at school, and it has gotten worse while she is on break, and thus not receiving therapies until Monday when she goes back. She laughs when she bites her sister, and her sister has whelps and bruises and sores all over from it...plus we have to deal with the comments and questions about it!!! I need some serious help with this as well!!!!

Dawn - posted on 12/29/2009

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A child of "normal" would learn quickly that it doesnt feel good when someone bites.. For a child ofr the ASD spectrum might be doing it as a sensory issue..I wouldnt encourage the biting if it is... Try a teething ring or cloth..

Lise - posted on 12/29/2009

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Just keep in mind that if others bite, it is demonstrating for him that biting is ok. I know a lot of moms who have had it work, but I also know some whose children's biting behaviors SEVERELY increased after being bit themselves. We want kids to learn by example, as it's not providing them with the best example. (But, of course, you also have to do what works for you.) I think Tamara's suggestion of the biting cloth and reinforcing that is best. Otherwise, you take away a need without replacing it which often leads to self-injurious behaviors.

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I got my youngest to stop after we began biting him back. He would bite to the bone! It is harsh but effective. I also gave him a cloth diaper to chew on because he needed that type of sensory input. Tell him again and again to bite on the chew cloth instead of people. But the biting back taught him faster than anything!

Tamara - posted on 12/29/2009

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The fastest way it to bite him back. Not hard, because our kiddos are so sensitive, but just enough for them to feel what it's like. OR-- Get him a chewing cloth he can bite in anger instead of his little brother. Set up a reward for everytime he bites the cloth instead of people.

Melanie - posted on 12/29/2009

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i know it sounds harsh but your best bet is for his younger brother to bite back. Our son went through a phase where he would bite his 6yr old sister. One day she bit back and he didn't like it. It sounds cruel but unfortuantely it seems to be the only thing that works. x

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