Does anyone else have a child with Aspergers that has violent tantrums?

Carol - posted on 04/25/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I have a 12yr old son that up until about two months ago wasn't really violent. He has always had tantrums, but in the last few years that have been less and less until recently. I believe the big reason may be puberty and the change in hormones but I don't know what to do. He is almost 5'4" already; as tall as me so when he gets in a rage its real hard for me to control him. It has got so bad at school that they suspended him for 1 day at the beginning of the month and they suspended him again today for 3 days. The school is trying to change his IEP to homebound him for the rest of the year, but this would affect next school year to. I understand the suspension because of his behavior, but according to the guidelines "a child's placement can't be changed if the behavior is due to the disability". Am I wrong in thinking that the violent tantrums are a part of his disability, Aspergers thus his behavior is due to this? The school doesn't believe so. They are trying to tell me that he can control his behavior, but I don't agree. When he gets in a rage, he has tunnel vision and only sees what he is focused on. Has anyone else had a child like this? Just wondering because the school is also telling me that they have never saw a child with Aspergers act this way. Thanks for any help.

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Ann - posted on 04/25/2012

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My son always had tantrums at

home with us. Mostly my son only had tantrums

when he is going through transitions or over

stimulated in some way. As you probably know

already there is sometimes just no ryme or reason

to tantrums sometimes. My son is now 18 and

he told me that when he gets like that, it's like

he wants to do and say the right thing but he can't.

We try to avoid situations that will cause

these incidents. If we talk about how things are

going to go ahead of time, it helps him to prepare.

When he was younger I used to sit in the same

room and just be there with him and wait for him

to tell me what the problem was. Of course, it wasn't

that he really knew what the problem was or that

It was even a problem, he just sometimes knew

he didn't want to deal with that again.

It took awhile to get to this point. Sometimes

I would scratch his back. Helps with his sensory

Issues. I also used what ever I could to bribe

him into telling me. Most kids get the reward

after but with him he has to get it first. I came

to find out that some of the things he wants don't

cost me anything. So how do you explain to people

Who aren't in our position that our world isn't

Ordered like theirs. I always do what's best

for my son, for me and for my family. Sometimes

It doesn't make any sense to anyone but us!!

I hope this helps! I just want to end by saying that

When my son hit 6th grade, the Christian school

He went to couldn't accommodate him anymore.

So we homeschooled. It was an awesome time for us.

We really bonded and I got to find out what he

Really needed. Oh one other thing that was

helpful was meds. Zoloft and Ritalin.

That part was hard for me. I hated it. He does

Withhout them now. Hang in there and God Bless.

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