Does anyone have adult children with Asperger's that still live at home? Ihave a 25 year old son with asperger's and social anxiety and I would love to have conversations with moms in the same boat!

Belkis - posted 6 days ago

Laura,

There is an 800 number where I guess you can order the vitamin regime (I get it directly from the psychiatrist). The number is 855-700-4569. My daughter tried two a day at first, but it was too much (side effect is increased libido), so she now takes one a day. She is also on 1500 mgs of Niacin (taken three times a day). The psychiatrist said if she could tolerate 3,000 mg it would be better, but she has done well with the 1,500 mg.

Happy Mothers day!!!!

Laura - posted on 05/10/2013

I would love to know the vitamins she is taking.

Belkis - posted on 05/08/2013

Laura Argo,


My daughter was first diagnosed with ADD/OCD/Bi-Polar and now at 22 she was diagnosed with Aspergers. . All the other diagnoses were wrong. She dropped out of college because of grades (she does have a math disability) and is now working with vocational rehab to get vocational training. Meanwhile I am helping her apply for disability.

Like your son, she also went through a period of paranoia and is much better with a vitamin regimen her psychiatrist gave her (large doses of Niacin and another vitamin mix that the psychiatrist has marketed). I was skeptical at first, but what a difference the vitamins have made with the paranoia.

I am very frustrated with the psychologists and psychiatrists that she has seen throughout the years. Since she was six I kept saying there is something else. I asked several times if she was on the spectrum. Every time they said no. This is even more difficult since I have a masters in psychology and love the psychology profession.

Btw, if you like to talk privately let me know and I will send my email.

Kathee - posted on 05/06/2013

My son is 31, acts like he is 15. He could read at age 3 and has always had a high IQ. He has absolutely no sense that he should be doing something to further his life. He asks why he just can't live with his dad or me like he always has... It is imperative that they be treated with dignity and not be pushed and prodded like disappointments. No one does that to adults with other mental illnesses. And don't get me wrong, I don't do everything for him. I don't even live with him. I just let him know that I know he is disappointed that he has problems with life.

Kathee - posted on 05/06/2013

I am in the midwest and have a 31 year old son with Aspergers, depression, generalized anxiety and agoraphobia--from the age of about 5. He was only diagnosed with all this about age 24. He was begging for help, begging for answers, and together we finally figured it out, with very little help from the mental health community. He now takes quite a few meds, his depression is controlled, his anxiety is sometimes controlled, but sometimes spirals. We have most recently decided that he needs to be treated for agoraphobia and we are hopeful that this will help what we thought was just generalized anxiety. Now we think the reason he hates to go out is that he is afraid, not just anxious. He will go anywhere with me (they will go out with trusted people), but still refuses to go to groups (Aspergers adult groups). We learn a little more every week and I have come to the conclusion that he may never finish college or be able to work though he is really bright. Now I just want him to be happy and be able to live after I am gone (58).

He is very bright, great looking, never asks for anything, very pleasant, very loving, but filled with anxiety and reclusive. He is Never happy, but always lonesome. Loves music, video games, spelling, grammar...

The reason, I think, that he is so pleasant is that I do not question his illness or push him to be uncomfortable. He has given me his power of attorney so I can do all the paperwork he hates, trying to get him on SS. He has a girlfriend but she is losing patience with always staying in. No job for 6 years.

I am now working on my will, getting a special needs trust in place, and SS benefits to make it possible for him to live safely somewhere. His girlfriend may be a temporary thing. If she dumps him, the meds will keep him from getting too depressed.

I think that the best way to handle our kids is to act as their advocate. They won't see you as the enemy any longer, and you will be able to figure out more ways to both be happy. I must say that even though I dedicate every Thursday to him and his appointments and needs, he really does not ask for anything. He writes me beautiful poetry telling me of his gratitude because I don't make him feel WORSE about something he can't do anything about. Do you ever feel as though you are demanding that someone walk who has no legs? I won't do that to him.

Laura - posted on 02/17/2013

Tried to edit and take out "he sited" for, he said the expense was the issue. The editing program on the site is not functioning.

Laura - posted on 02/17/2013

My son is 27. He went to the Art Institute of Dallas and is one credit, and one half of a portfolio short of a two year degree. The dean at the college would not allow him to work on a mandatory, over crowded resume class at home and then report to his instructor for interviewing skills. The Instructor was more than willing to work with my son but he just had to run it by the dean. She said, "No." That was almost six years ago. My son has rarely left the house since and he is developing paranoia from the isolation. He no longer trusts me to cook his meals and he will not allow me into his room for vacuuming and cleaning. He has started to carry a back pack at night when he goes for a walk with his father. He carries his toothpaste and shampoo and drawings. He thinks I will tamper with his things. He no longer eats a normal diet. The fridge is overflowing with healthy food but he says there is nothing to eat. I am trying to avoid MSG but it seems it is in just about everything. My son's degree plan was 3D computer modelling. He designs figures and rigs them to make them ready for animation. His work was often used as an example for other students. I feel we have lost a lot of ground. We all stopped pushing after he was diagnosed. For over twenty years he was undiagnosed even though over the years we spent a small fortune on psychologists and psychiatrists. Anyway, where to go and what to do now? I am an older parent so we must find him a place in the world soon. I have thought about finding another young person who wants to work on an animation project but given the egocentrism, will two Aspies get along if they both have a rigid view of the finished project. I guess I am putting the cart before the horse as I have to find someone first. Then this morning I looked at group living and career training. I would have opted for life skills but the anxiety over being asked to give up his computer chair in our house to go to a new environment is daunting. We worry he will get into trouble as his brain overloads can be misunderstood by society. Certain programs only accept the calmer individuals. I think he could live at home while taking life skills training. We did get him to interview with The Nonpariel Institute out of SMU Plano but he would not go at this time. I think anxiety was the root reason but he sited the expense as the main issue. I feel for all who have altered life courses but we have become more empathetic and understanding as a result.

Teresa - posted on 02/12/2013

Hello fellow parents of adult aspies living at home,
My son, Nolan is 22, was diagnoised at age 9 with AS. His younger years were fraught with frustration and a constant battle with the school district and teachers, trying to get Nolan the support he desperatley needed. He has always suffered from depression and anxiety - and each year seems to bring new and different behaviors. Nolan also is extremley bright and has a wondorus sense of humor. At 22 I think he must be going thru what a 16 yr old might be - with a very rebellious and poor opinion of everyone and everything. I will write more later - but am reaching out to others who have an adult living at home who seems so totally indifferent and unhappy with everything and everyone around him.

Lori - posted on 02/09/2013

I have a 19 year old with Autism living at home and I'm 100% okay with that. It's my 15 year old that I'd like to post in the "free" catagory of Craigslist.

Kerry - posted on 02/08/2013

Hi Cindy, yes its hard having him live away from home. When he initially left it was very difficult for him, he was diagnosed a year later and only then did I realise the extent of his struggles. He doesn't venture out much, his Counsellor says the city "swallows him up" which is true but he has a girlfriend now and although we talk about it a lot, he is reluctant to move back, he sees it as a step backward. He is not in touch with his school friends so his world is small but he likes it that way. His world is his computer and keyboard, he also plays bass guitar. His sleeping habits are the hardest, we've even tried medication but he is up until all hours and then sleeps until 1-2pm, half the day is over. I don't know how he'll cope if he ever finds a suitable job. I'm glad your son enjoyed the concert and trip in the end. Its the hardest thing to stand by and watch them struggle with their "aspieness". My son has self diagnosed Depersonalisation Disorder as well, something we have explored with many psychologists and psychiatrists over the years. He describes it very well, not feeling connected to the world or time but the conclusion is it comes back to his anxiety and his aspergers, sigh.

Kerry - posted on 02/08/2013

Hi Mariliese, yes it is nice to have contact in Australia. We also went down a long road before we got the correct diagnosis. Starting with his teacher in prep! He was on Ritalin for ADD which didn't fit his profile at all! It started affecting his appetite and sleep patterns so we discontinued it. He has also suffered from depression and is a constant ball of anxiety. He shares a rent house in Melb with a friend he has known for a long time, he could never cope with strangers. He does have a girlfriend and that seems to be going well. In the past, because of his tendency to see only the good in people he is easily taken advantage of. He tried Uni when he finished school but it didn't go well. He spent a year doing not much then tried again in a TAFE course involving video games (his passion??) which was a struggle but he got there and then went on to do an Arts Degree in multimedia. He was registered with the Disability Unit but they were not very helpful. It was up to Lucas to initiate any problems with his Lecturers and of course, that wasn't going to happen! Oral presentations were a nightmare but I don't want to sound negative, he had a great Course Co-Ordinator who is still helping him to try and graduate. The thought of working worries him, he wants to but doesn't know where to start. He has a great Counsellor and applies for jobs online. He is currently registered with a Disability Employment Agency but not much has happened. I find one of the hardest things is knowing when to stand back when you know they need your help so much. He rarely leaves his room ("cave" as we call it) as thats where he feels the safest. He comes home regularly, retreats to his room and recharges his batteries. Like your daughter, he seems oblivious to how much help he requires and gets very frustrated with me. Unfortunately, we are the people they take their frustrations out on, people say - why do you let him talk to you like that but I understand whats going on. He desperately wants a dog but can't in his rent house. He dreams big but his reality is very different. I just support and love him as much as I can. He is a great kid with a sharp sense of humour, quick wit and so smart! I can't imagine him being a parent but it is one of his dearest wishes. Thank you for sharing about your daughter, I would be happy to stay in touch. Good luck!

Terri - posted on 02/08/2013

cindy i also hav a 23 year old and husband of 51 wud luv 2 hear from u my son at home almost never leaves his room only 2 eat i live in n irelandx

Cindy - posted on 02/07/2013

I can relate to you Kerry. My son is now 26 and lives at home. I can't even imagine him being out on his own yet like your son! His social anxiety has paralyzed him to the point that he is perfectly happy never going anywhere. Last month my husband (who also is an Aspie) bought concert tickets after our son assured us that he really wanted to go. It was to be a one day trip--drive to Houston, TX ( we are near New Orleans), see the concert and come home that night. The closer it got to the day to go, the more the anxiety got worse and worse. He did get in the car but wouldn't speak. My husband said for two hours, my son tried to pull out his hair, stayed curled in a fetal position, and talked about suicide. It was scary intense. Then he snapped out of it, maybe because he saw there was no choice, and actually said he had a good time. Like you, I wish I could find a mentor for him and/or a job. He's a great kid, smart, good looking, a talented musician, so many things--I think that's why it's so hard for moms to see our kids crippled by their asperger's. I'll stop for now. Glad you found Marilese in Australia!

Kerry - posted on 02/07/2013

Hi Mariliese, thank you for your reply. I am at work but will reply over the w/e when I can have a "clear head" :) Kerry

Mariliese - posted on 02/06/2013

Hi Kerry, my name is Mariliese Howes and I live in Queensland, its nice to hear from someone else in Australia. I have a 22 year old daughter, she has only been correctly diagnosed 12 months ago. We have had 9 years of misdiagnosis but are finally on the right track. She starts uni in a couple of weeks, she is totally prepared and the uni she is going to USC has an excellent disabilities program with every type of help available to her and us. I really hope she copes there and feels some success. She lives at home as she also sufers from generalised anxiety disorder , ADD and clinical depression. She has a two year old child which I help raise ( well she helps me as she doesnt understand the whole mothering process ) she is also engaged ( loose term ). She luckily sees the importance of looking after her son so has decided to allow us to be fully involved with his care. I have heard that most adults with aspergers arent aware of the level of help they need in daily life, with my daughter she thinks that she doesnt need any help and that she is doing us a favour allowing us to be involved. !!!! Anyway I would love to be in contact as support for us both.

Kerry - posted on 02/05/2013

Hi, yes yes yes. I'm looking for someone to talk to about this. My son is 25 and we are in a holding pattern of NOTHING!! Finally diagnosed when he was 19. Has struggled through some study at Uni, lives in a house in Melbourne (2 hrs away) I'm down there a lot helping him out with the day to day and we help him financially. We thought it best he tries to succeed in the city as there is not much here in his local town, although he is so at home when he returns for "down time" which he does often. His Counsellor told me the city "swallows him up". He is trying to get a job but suffers from social anxiety and the day to day of being an "aspie". I feel helpless being so far away from him. He's a great kid. I just wish I could find him a mentor or a job that is suitable .... anyway, I see the last post was 2012 but I'd love to hear from anyone and flesh out my story!

Ramona - posted on 01/27/2013

Anna,
A waiver is a program where the office of developmental disability puts my sonon a list to be able to live in a supervised community based living situation(homefully an apt.). The waiting list is 10-12 years. My son would never agree to this at the present time . But I fear as my husband & I get older we will need assistance as we get older. There is no guarantee you will get it, depends on funding etc.

Anna - posted on 01/27/2013

Ramona, thanks for your reply. It seems like alot of mental health professionals really do not know what to do with Aspergers. My son's therapist specializes in it and has a nephew with Aspergers so that helps alot. But we still can't get my son to do much to help himself.

Please excuse my ignorance but what is a waiver?

Ramona - posted on 01/27/2013

Annna,
Don't have any advice but I do some real positive items in your post. I too have a son 22 with AS & my husband & I are in our late 50s. My son will also not take antidepressants as it messes up his thinking. He sleeps all day & stays up on computer all night. He now lives in
another state in my deceased father's home & my husband works out of state & is able to check on him ever other week. He has no friends, goes to grocery store at midnight & is pretty much a hermit. He will not go to therapy... we have tried. But it is very difficult in the South to
find a therapist that wants to deak with AS. His personal hygiene is poor.
The positive of your son...goes to therapy...will take some meds. Sorry do not have more
advice, just want to let you know you are not alone.
We have our son place on a list for Waiver which will take approx 10 years, so he will have someone to check on him after we are gone

Anna - posted on 01/27/2013

My son was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome (physical tics), ADHD, OCD when he was four years old. When he was in his 20s, he was given the added diagnosis of Aspergers. He is now 29 and lives at home with his father and I. He is an only child.

He has a few friends but most have outgrown him and have lives. My son sits at home all day looking at you tube or playing video games. He is not violent but he is very lonely. He is unable to drive - his ADHD is too severe. He's done martial arts since he was a boy and still goes to classes 2 nights a week - I drive him back and forth. I enrolled him in a art class one day a week which I also drive him to/from since it's right around the corner from where I work. But I doubt anything will come of that because even though he wants to be an artist he just doesn't have the knack for it. He is a really good writer but doesn't want to do that for a living.

I don't know what else to do with him. He doesn't want to take any anti depressants because they always have side effects. He does take 2 mg. diazepam twice a day for anxiety because that gives him no side effects. He was hospitalized last year for two weeks for depression. But psychiatrists have not really been able to help him to change in any way.

My husband and I are 58 and we are VERY worried what will happen to him when we are not here anymore. My son is on Medicaid and SSI but really doesn't take care of himself. He's a good looking kid but doesn't have good hygene. He eats the same things every day because he says gluten gives him stomach problems although he does not have Celiac (he's been tested). He's very high strung and flies off the handle easily but as I said he's thankfully not violent.

He sees a therapist twice a month who specializes in Aspergers but we don't seem to be making much progress.

Any advice? Thank you very much.

Fiona - posted on 01/20/2013

Hi, my son is nearly seventeen and has epilepsy and aspergers with the same social anxiety which brings on his seizures. He is just finishing a course at college with similar kids and I worry for his future. There are no jobs out there for him and if there. Was, he might not be able to cope. I too, have been looking for someone to chat to and feel depressed with the situation.
Fiona.

Carol - posted on 01/20/2013

Any Moms in the Nebraska area with children in ages 19-25 age range who are struggling with friendships, maybe isolate themselves?

Lisa - posted on 01/16/2013

Well in response to the lies and the denial with your son. I am sorry.. I have recently just decided to live MY life and NOT my sons.. There are things I do on my terms and things I stopped doing! I have found that the things that cause me resentment are the things I stopped doing. Also, my husband and I don't agree with this so he still tries to get me to do co-dependent acts when he won't... I have stated that illness or no illness rude and disrespectful behavior is not acceptable. And when things like jobs, money, school, relationships etc. become important to the boy then and only then will I make it important to me... Don't get me wrong, I'm still a mom. I still buy food I know he will eat and greet him coming and going (even when he doesn't respond) I just stopped setting myself up for him to hurt me.. Btw- I have learned that they don't treat strangers as bad as they treat their parents. My father always told me that you should never treat people worse then you would a stranger.... Hmmm he is right. Funny how we all have manners with strangers in public....

Anne - posted on 01/16/2013

Hello everyone - its such a help to read of other mums in a similar situation as me. My son is 28 but acts like 16 too. He does not like any changes and nothing can be thrown away. It is a nightmare getting him something new. Latest problem - addiction to slot machines and has wasted hundreds of pounds. I could write a book on the problems I had had to deal with. I believe this is how life will always be with him and have to learn to live with the ups and downs.

Lisa - posted on 01/15/2013

Hi there,
Ive not read any of the replies yet, so do excuse me if I have repeated anything!

I am a single parent, my 23 yr old daughter lives with her fiancé and 2 babies and is getting married in september! I also have a 21 yr old son with aspergers, epilepsy and dyspraxia, He was always in his right peer group at school but had daily one to one support, although never placed on the special needs register here in the UK, not for want of trying, for all his school life!

He's had a few 'tries' at college but dropped out after just a couple of months, had a long spell of not doing anything apart from his darn x box but in September 2012, he told me he was going to college to study catering. He changed so much, was really happy, talked non stop about his days in college, what he'd learnt. More recently, I've become suspicious that he's not been attending college although he's said he had and he even has been to lengths telling me what he's been doing each day.

I have to fund all his train fare, he has no income, no financial support and I work all hours to make ends meet. Today, I saw a couple o train tickets lying about in the bathroom, looked at them, ad they were NOT for the stations he has to go to for college. I phoned his head of department to ask if he had been attending and, low and behold, he's not been seen in college since mid November last year.

He leaves the house as though he's goin to college, talks about his college day. I just have absolutely no idea how to go about talking to him. I have a feeling he will feel he's made me disappointed in him for not going, and yes, I am because he was doing so very well. I know he will cry, he will throw things, he will stomp about and I know shouting and making a scene isn't goin to work. I have to do things gently with my son.

Does anyone have any ideas,suggestions or advice they can give me as to where I go from here please? Oh, forgot to say, he has always been in denial that he has any problems.

Thanks,

One really concerned mother of a 21 yr old in a 16 yr olds body and mentality! x

Carol - posted on 01/05/2013

This was such a relief to find this. I have a 19 year that was diagnosed when he was younger. The challenges can sometimes be overwhelming. I love him dearly and others can be so cruel. He spends so much time alone. It makes me very sad. His father is not in his life. It appears that he has more let downs in life then successes. I won't give up being there for him. I just need some words of encouragement because its hard to emotionally deal with.

H - posted on 01/04/2013

Hi Anne, I'm in the UK, you can message me if you like. H

DCareaMOM - posted on 01/04/2013

Telling the story out loud is important. I'm not there yet.

Lisa - posted on 12/26/2012

I have a son who is going to be 21 in march. We have had doctors tell us schizophrenia and then aspergers. We have experienced everything. He refused all diagnoses and or meds. As a teen drugs came on the scene. Drop out of all schools.. We tried several variations. He would go missing for weeks. People we know in other states would randomly call us that they found him living in a car or pan handling or living in the mountains. I even tried "way out" methods like ibugain (a high dollar herb from Africa) I flew to find my son in the depths of the Colorado mountains and flew him out of the country for this....I think I was out of my mind! I was so desperate to fix this child... So thousands of dollars and several spontaniuos days off its a wonder I didn't lose my job while losing my mind and still accomplished nothing! He then came home and enrolled in a yoga teacher training cert course.. He fit in with a group that just let him be who he was. He took his training on the road and would fast for days and go on peace walks with monks for weeks. It's harmless and peace driven so I supported it. He then ended up in Peru?... He backpacked thru this country for a month when I received a phone call to please get him out of Peru ASAP... He was feeling evil presence everywhere and needed to go to see a guru in Miami.... Turns out I'm a great travel agent and negotiator... That's code for ridicules co dependent. Now he lives back home. We refused another car for him because he has totaled 7. I felt so much guilt for the others on the road that I knew I couldn't live with myself if he had another car. So he bikes everywhere... And won't sleep in side our home. He sleeps outside with a sleeping bag and no tent... Now he is apparently practicing both Kriah yoga and messianic Jewish. He is very rude and disrespectful to us. I have boundaries in place so he is not so rude. I do 1load of laundry a week for him ( only because it smells so bad) my life is ridicules. I give him small amounts of cash at a time because if he has too much he gives it to the homeless people on the streets. i'm not a week women. Just for the record... I run a car dealership..... I manage men all day. This child apparently manages me. I am at a loss. I don't know what to do. I cry every night even my husband wants nothing to do with him because of how rude he is to him.. Okay I'm done with some off the top of my head stuff.. I feel like there is no one out there that can relate. This is my first time telling my story out loud to the public... Very scary :)

Ann - posted on 12/20/2012

Elizabeth take care of yourself, I feel the same sometimes,life is not always fair

Ann - posted on 12/20/2012

Dear Jamie, when everything clicks, when you read about aspergers since early childhood, then doctors opinion it just an extra, for confirmation. The problem is knowing about this condition in the first place.My son was diagnosed in one visit by highly qualified psychiatrist who saw many cases and by asking us relevant questions.like when he started to talk, how he is socially, when he started to sit or walk. how he behave in kindergarten.One cannot ignore obvious signs, There is a big difference between your child being unique and having aspergers. when your child experience meltdown its not the same as regular , unique kid and also his problems are not the same.

Andrea - posted on 12/19/2012

I have a 17 year old son with aspergers but he now lives with his grandmother. Has done so for the last 15 months. He wasn't attending school and isolating himself further and further. There was nothing else I could do I had tried everything. He has been attending school whilst staying with his grandmother and much happier. But we have since been told that he will not be doing his vcal as he will be studying year 12 (special school) so now we are stuck as to what to do and where to go to from here. Can anyone help me please?

Jamie - posted on 12/18/2012

I am new here and dont want to come off as rude so please forgive me if I offend in any way... That being said, I wonder if many people realize how highly misdiagnosed Asperger's is? I have a son with Asperger's diagnosed by child psychologists with 35+ years experience dealing with Autism and Asperger's so I am confident of the accuarcy in his diagnosis.. Anyway my point is though I realize every child is unique I think that SOME of the behavior mentioned here seems to be just individual behaviors and entirely unrelated to their Asperger's struggles. Now don't get me wrong I realize that every step and thought is affected however an Aspie knows right from wrong. They know the importance of hygiene, or why they need to dress before leaving the house, etc... (just some examples for the sake of the point). Even if the diagnosis is accurate not every action is a result of their diagnosis and remembering this aspect of things in the parental struggles is going to be our biggest ally in being able to help our children function outside... Children as well as adults trying to cope with the challenges of their differences will be at higher risk of depression and anxiety disorders which will in themselves lead to a lot of the things im reading about in these posts. Our children's struggles will always be heavier than that of most so depression and anxiety are far more prevalant. If we can learn to address those issues more effectively I think tackling the day for them can be a lot less scary.

Elizabeth - posted on 12/18/2012

i also have a son with aspergers.... he was 23 when diagnosed...he is very ill at the moment with multi disabilities...i don't like life at the moment

Ann - posted on 12/18/2012

my son is 19 years old, was just diagnosed, He was in youth group for 2 years and was doing great, but they told us that he is cured, funny right. They knew that he had aspergers but did not tell us, just to get rid of him.as soon as he came home all his anxiety came back and eventually he dropped school,Now he sits in his room and afraid to go out. He cannot get even to the treatment for anxiety that we been waiting for half a year. He thinks that he can do it himself..His so called friends only used him. At least we know whats going on and will help him as much as we can.Pushing him to get treatment don't help. when he is not in stress we can negotiate with him and at least he agreed to take medication. We love him lots. He is wonderful and talented in music and drama and math.In youth group, they told us that he has low IQ, but we did not believe it, how come he plays chess with low IQ and wins all around.Plays Guitar doing math. So we pushed for diagnosis with different doctor and in one visit he was diagnosed as aspergers, what a terrible doctors that could not diagnose him in 2 years and tried to make out of him retarded.When he was young I been told that he have sparks of genus, and could not believe this faulty assessment, .Our luck that we had previous assesment that was telling something else completely.We know that we still have long way ahead to make him better, but our love to him sustains us, When he is good, he is wonderful, when he have attacks of stress, we decided not to push him anymore . life is short and we decided just take one day at a time.

Cindy - posted on 12/17/2012

I posted this question last April, at a time when I felt pretty much alone. I had just stumbled upon Circle of Moms and I decided to throw my situation out there, not really realizing lots of us are in the same boat--I guess it's more like a cruise ship than a canoe! I don't remember if I mentioned this before, and I'm too lazy to check back, but my husband also is an Aspie. I almost feel like an expert, but of course, I'm not even close. I have knocked around the idea of beginning a blog and sharing my crazy life with others who may have the same crazy lives, but things (you know, work, dinner, laundry, etc., etc.) kept getting in the way, so my New Year's resolution is to finally just do it! I'll post all the details here in January if any of you would like to grab an oar and start rowing with me. Have a wonderful Christmas :)

Elizabeth - posted on 12/17/2012

yes i do

Marga - posted on 12/11/2012

Hi I have suspected all along that my husband was different but in the past few years I have researched aspergers and he def has it and also our son who is 27. It can be very lonely not having someone "normal" to chat to and sometimes I cry with frustration. My husband does not think he has any problems and just goes blank when I bring up things like not taking care of himself i.e personal care, eating healthily, exercising etc. He says he never thinks about these things! I wonder am I putting too much emphasis on this as he is a good provider, kind and gentle but some days I feel like screaming but he just stays quiet and never reacts!

Lee - posted on 11/11/2012

Mary,

There is nothing "normal" about autism. It is entirely different from what the rest of the world experiences. My son is 28, is high functioning (IQ of 144), has Aspergers Syndrome (AS), lives at home, and he also keeps to himself most of the time in his room. However, unlike your grandson my son is a slob (sorry just the truth), has poor personal hygiene, cannot cope with college (he tried), and sometimes sleeps 18 of 24 hours. He suffers from chronic migraines and depression that medicine just does not seem to help. All-in-all I would say your grandson is coping with his autism quite well. Many individuals with autism need solitude and extra sleep because they are depleted by their contact with people and the "real world". The more intense their interaction with the "real world" such as college, the more depleted they become. It is a little like a battery being run down and recharging it again.

Lee - posted on 11/11/2012

Advice on SSI: Pull together ALL the documentation you can get your hands on. I got copies of all my son's doctor appointments (psychiatrists, psychologist, and MD) when it involved his meds, therapy, followup for meds,etc. Get a written diagnosis from the doctor of your child's diagnosis if more than one have them state which is the primary diagnosis. Get a copy of the most recent IEP and any copy of standardized testing done by child's school(s) over the years. Our school did many tests including IQ test. In all I provided approx. 75 pages of information. It was never even contested. They interviewed my son with me in the room and that was it, he was approved. Good luck.

Rosemary - posted on 11/05/2012

My son is 18.....Ontario

Hm - posted on 11/01/2012

I don't have older kids yet but I was that kid 15 yrs ago. My relatives all looked down on me because I lived with my Dad and couldn't get a job. It was because I had trouble leaving the house. The more I research ASD, the more I wonder if I had it. Be patient and inform yourself and your son. Don't make him feel like s**t like my family did but help him learn life skills and accomplish goals. There's nothing wrong with him still living at home.

Terri - posted on 10/31/2012

yes cindy my son is 23 also husband just diagnosed this year at 51 so i am on same boat always here 2 help u can get a bad day but stay strong u must be a special person get a outlet 4 urself u will need itx

Anne - posted on 10/28/2012

Hi my son is 28 and was described by a "professional" as an odd-bod when he was at school. He has aspergers and I have had alot of problems with him which his Father has never really understood so I feel very alone at times. At the moment I am trying to cope with my son's gambling addiction. He wastes money, feels depressed and disgusted with himself and goes awol, which usually involves drinking. It is affecting his job. He does not cope with confrontation and has walked out on numerous occasions. He does not cope with change, he is a nightmare to go on holiday with, seemingly uncaring about anyone else almost to the point of selfishness, suffers with social anxiety and has not had a girlfriend which I know bothers him.My life is spent just wondering what is going to go wrong next BUT I love him, I just wish he has some nice friends and could find a nice girl who would be take him as he is. Just reading about all you other Mums with adult children like me helps immensely, thanks. Anne

Terri - posted on 10/23/2012

yes hav son at home with asd aspergers also husband 51 just diagnosed this year can be tough on most days all services for children but children become adults worst accempting hubby being diagnosedx

Mary - posted on 10/22/2012

Hi,

New to this, have custody of my 2 grandsons, had them 12 yrs, the eldest now 18 , has slight autism but I feel like I am going mad, he never ever goes out , he is happy in his room 24/7, goes to a college 3 days a week , but the other 4 days, he stays in his room (happy) but i feel He is wasting he life away, I do get so frustrated with this, his bedroom is immaculate, he loves the telly and will not get ot of bed until lunch time, is this normal, or is it me at 63 being to old now to cope.

any help is useful, thank you

Ramona - posted on 10/21/2012

Cindy,

Did you ever start a blog on adult children with AS?

Cindy - posted on 10/21/2012

I'm not sure, Anne. I'm in the U.S.

Anne - posted on 10/21/2012

Hi is this a UK site?

Melissa - posted on 08/07/2012

Hi Cindy,
I would so love to get advice from you as I think my 20 year old step son has Asperger's. I am in Australia but if you had time I would love to chat as am going out of my head re all this. I have only known Louis and his dad for 2 years and always thought that something was not quite right and want to help him. Regards Melissa