everyone thinks im weird ..am i

Tania - posted on 10/03/2011 ( 21 moms have responded )

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well i have two boys one with aspergers and one with tourettes and lots of sensory issue .
i have changed as a mother i suppose , well everyone thinks they get it from me . my mother in law has said to me well your a little weird so they must get it from you .
i had a great childhood never had any social problems or really any issues so why does everyone judge me ?

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Tania - posted on 10/27/2011

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omg lisa you just decribed me all over i buy ham and will only eat it that day ...wont eat food thats out of date the following day and yes i get a little upset when my routine gets messed up ..dont drink and am so anti drug its not funny lol yep im weird or maybe everyone else is lol

Lisa - posted on 10/27/2011

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and i get told im weird all the time lol i dont drink n dont like going out because drunk people make me nervous, im not very good with change and secretly i have kids in good strict routine cos i like it too when it gets messed up i dont like it lol im very funny about sell by dates wont eat anything that is gunna go off tomora even tho it would still be in date today!! hahaha i dont care i am weird but thats me and to be honest being this way helps me to relate tomy son (not always tho lol ) :D dont b ashamed relish init! cos with weirdness comes fun and bubbely people ;D

Lisa - posted on 10/26/2011

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hahaha thats ok :) im 23 with 3 kids so i get o ur a young mum with a child who is difficult!!! grrr makes me mad but believe it or not i c a lot of autistic traits in myself so if they ever did find it was genetic my son probably gets it from me but stuff em ur kids r the way they supposed to be wether people can understand it or not :) thats how i try look at it any way :)

Lisa - posted on 10/24/2011

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ok so u look young i bet its that!!! hahaha no people try blame things on something like asperges or any kind of condition has to be some ones faulty! my son is bein assessed for autism and my nan keeps saying so how do they 'get' it!! ghahaha bless dont takle it as judging just come to the understanding that some people actually dont get it :/

Anke - posted on 10/23/2011

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It seems your MIL needs to to be educated a bit more about autism and related conditions. She should know it has nothing to do with your parenting. If indeed the genes responsible come from your side of the family (and chances are that both sides are involved to some degree), then how ridiculous to blame you. It's not your fault, same as it isn't your parents' fault who passed them on to you. Thankfully these days, we are learning so much more about these disorders/conditions, so we can help affected people much more. Our parents and ourselves and people before us had to struggle a lot more with just being called 'weird'. People with autism aren't weird, they are different, interesting, special and often simply amazing. They add to our world with their special talents and quirks, and that must be a good thing. It makes our job as parent's harder, but it teaches us so much as well. Try not to let them judge you, but educate them, and know that you are not alone in your struggle, and everyone is a bit weird anyway. I hope things get better for you! As your children get older and learn to cope better, hopefully your MIL can see how special and wonderful they are, despite, or because of, their particular challenges.

Tania - posted on 10/23/2011

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christina that made me laugh ....i think all mums with children go nutty every now and then ...still laughing in a good way

Christina - posted on 10/22/2011

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Of course you are a little weird! You have two special needs children! As mothers, we adapt to meet our children's needs. That probably means that you go a little nutty subconsciously to make your children feel like they fit in.
It is not your fault at all. While I personally believe autism is a genetic disorder that is passed down, I also believe it is a random disorder as well (like Downs). Even if your children did get it from you, that is not a bad thing. Your children are absolutely perfect, regardless of their medical disabilities.

Marissa - posted on 10/22/2011

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My mother in law told me I was to blame for my children's autism. I have 2 children on the spectrum and one who is autistic-like. She told me I was to blame and I should have forced myself to eat while I was pregnant. I had severe morning sickness called HEG and had iv's and a zofram pump. She may have hurt my feelings but I know she's blowing steam.

Tania - posted on 10/19/2011

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thanks she has stopped a little ...but they still think im weird..lol im living in the country and i come from the city so maybe thats why im so weird down here.

Lana - posted on 10/19/2011

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I know how you feel about the blaming I have one child with ASD and another with possible AS and my other inlaw either says there is nothing wrong with them, or that it is a lack of discipline and to smack them or discipline stronger. When on occassions she accepts the situation she says well it must come from you or your side as you have relations with AS already. there is nothing of that sort on my side of the family. My husband used to argue with her about this then we just printed of the information from the internet and gave her and stopped talking about the problems. the kids still see her and the situation is slowly getting better. been nearly a year but she has not said it for about 2 months now. Hope things can improve you to.

Lee Etta - posted on 10/11/2011

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When I had my son tested the clinician asked if I thought he got it from their father. I said no, I think they got it from me. I tend to believe what Baron-Cohen(researcher) does and that you must have two parents that are wired a certain way to have a child with a neurological disorder. I also focus on my son's strengths and what makes him unique. I tell both of my children that different is good;)

Rossi - posted on 10/10/2011

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It may be more from your Irish roots than from your personality! I have these disorders in my family history. All I can say is that it does get better. My children are doing better today and one has PDD NOS and one has Tourette Syndrome. It may be that I also have these, but it lessons with age and many not us were not properly diagnosed.

Rebecca - posted on 10/04/2011

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Everyone is different...AND THAT'S A GOOD THING! Sounds like people are uneasy because you think outside the box. That's their problem, you are doing what's best for your kids. As long as your kids are happy and not in any danger...tell everyone else to take a long walk off a short pier!

Katherine - posted on 10/03/2011

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Then I think it's her problem not yours. I wouldn't even listen to her anymore, maybe even cut ties. You feel bad enough, you don't need that.

Tania - posted on 10/03/2011

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i have tried to educate her , i do live life differently now as i have changed the way i live to cater for my children , for eg when im buying clothes for my son i let him pick them out so there are no issues as he has lots of sensory issues , and i do talk litrialy to my eldest only because he has aspergers and it helps him understand , i suppose its hard to get out of mum mode and being this way

Katherine - posted on 10/03/2011

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That's really comforting to know. What a rude thing to say. So they are blaming you for your children's disabilities? Don't they know it has to do with the brain? Maybe you need to educate them more, because obviously they're not very educated.
I would not even buy into what she says. That's an awful thing to say. They are just looking for someone to blame and using you as the target.

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