Four years old and still in nappies!!

Kisayne - posted on 11/15/2009 ( 19 moms have responded )

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My little boy who will be 4 in January. Been trying for a year now and still no luck. He has autism and does not communicate very well, so can't tell me when he needs to go. It is so frustrating.
Anyone out there have any ideas for me, I am at a loss at what to do, and it is so expensive nappies!
Thanks

19 Comments

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Adrian - posted on 09/06/2017

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My grandson who is 4 and half as autism non verbal still wears a nappy and will not go near the toilet don't no how were going to overcome this challenge any help anyone

Tanya - posted on 11/24/2009

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My 4yr old is in pullups most of the time. At kindy they manage to get him to go but not here at home. someone suggested to me to get a "Potty Watch" which will remind him every 30mins to go. Haven't had a chance to get it yet, but everyone swears that they work!

He suprised me the other day in a shopping centre by telling me he wanted to go!! i think it was a routine thing because his 6yr old sister always goes when we go shopping.

Sarah - posted on 11/22/2009

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Our son nearly 3.5 has just started to train. At first he would refuse to wear jocks. I spent a fortune buying one with his favorite characters on them, but he wouldn't put them on. In the end i bought plain coloured ones. Now every night after his bath he will put on the same colour as his dad is wearing. He will aslo pee on the potty. However, he still refuses to wear the jocks or go to the potty during the day.

Rachel - posted on 11/22/2009

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My son is 3 and still training.. What has worked for him so far is.. When he gets up we take a trip to the bathroom with him.. Pee and brush our teeth.. I even put our 1 yr old daughter on too just so maybe they can train together.. I have a brother with Down syndrome who is 14 months older than I and thats how my mom trained us.. Anyways I'm pregnant so I have to pee often so whenever I have to I bring him too.. Whenever he goes to take a bath he must pee or at least try before the bath.. Of course before bed.. He has yet to go poop cause he tends to hide out really quietly when doing that and hates to be around anyone so I'm trying to conquer peeing! GOOD LUCK!!!

Cristina - posted on 11/22/2009

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Autism is hard. There is a website made up of mothers with children who have autism. I don't remember the name.

Milli - posted on 11/21/2009

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With my son i think it was more seeing is believing. Despite the fact that he had no language skills until almost 5 he was fully toilet trained by 2 and a half. I think that using cloth nappies/diapers accelerates a childs desire to learn to use the toilet. Make sure that they see the process first hand. Dads take your sons out into the back yard and pee on a tree, once they get the hang of it there then move onto the toilet but i think the important thing for ASD/Aspergers kids is that they SEE you doing it too. Don't close the door when you use the bathroom let them see you using the toilet. As parents we sometimes forget just how hard toilet is for little ones, disability's aside it a difficult thing for most children so just let them see that there is nothing to be afraid of lead by example and try the cloth nappies/diapers as the disposables keep them to dry and most times they won't even realize they have pee'd. As for night time I found the biggest help there was just limiting what my son had to drink after 5pm. That way by the time they go to sleep most of what they've had throughout the day has already passed through their system. It may not work for everyone but if it works for you then your life is a little easier. :) Good Luck

Petra - posted on 11/21/2009

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my son was 4 when he get dry at day, here in belgium we use drawnings to let them understand that they have to go on toilet, now he's 6 but still wears diapers at night,he sleeps so deeply that I can't wake him ,it needs time.drawn a picture from a toilet try to stick his picture on it to,and show it to him.maybe it sounds stupid but my son learn to speak with these drawnings good luck and sorry for my poor english i'm from belgium and it's a while ago i wrote it

Abby-lee - posted on 11/20/2009

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This was a major issue for my eldest whose ASD is very mild. He wasn't properly dry all day until 4 1/2 and wasn't properly clean all day until about 7 and nighttime was round about 10 1/2. My youngest whose ASD is moderate cracked the whole thing at 2 1/2 with out me doing any thing. After what I went through with the 1st I nearly died of the shock! They're all different and do things when they're ready.

Carolyn - posted on 11/19/2009

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Its tough mine is 5 and just got out of them this year! I never felt so good when he finally did it on his own. Just make it a part of his routine, make sure you use a PECS icon or whatever communication you use, so he has a way to let you know hes gotta go. get rid of the pullups and stick to the underware, it can be confusing for it to be okay to go in your pants one time but not the other. When I gave up the pullups then he made sure it made to the bathroom. maybe hes just not ready yet, be patient. It will happen.

Sharina - posted on 11/19/2009

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I'm guessing nappies are diapers? There are potty training techniques for special needs kids. try your local autism society for help.

[deleted account]

it will happen when he is ready. my son was still in nappies at four, then he learned to do a wee on the toilet. he goes without a nappy during the day but still wears them at night and to do a poo in as he can not yet do poos on the toilet, he is 6 now. it will happen but be patient as you can not rush these kids.

Sherry - posted on 11/18/2009

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My daughter is 12 almost 13 and has not been able to be trained. Talk to your doctor about any programs that can help you pay for diapers.

Brandy - posted on 11/18/2009

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My son was almost 5 before he used the potty. We used m&m candies for rewards. When he first started training you got and m&m for just sitting on the potty, after a few times you had to do "something" to get the candy. Good luck!

Kisayne - posted on 11/18/2009

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Thanks for all your replies. I am going to try some of your ideas, I bought him Batman underwear the other day.....he loves batman. So I am hoping he will try Big boy underwear, see how we go!

LINDY - posted on 11/17/2009

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my son is nearly four and a half and still in nappies but i got this dvd from our OT its called Are You Ready Yet you can get it at gpo box 1707 adelaide south australia or phone 132324 inside australia or +61884633500 international or email services@saugov.sa.gov.au or web site www.service.sa.gov.au there is a little cartoon at the end of dvd with a little boy going to toilet doing poos and wees and ethan my son loved it he laughs every time he watches it and now will sit on toilet (wont poo yet)but atleast he is sittin there and he does wee in toilet and washes his hand and drys them which is huge and i also have a social story about it and cards on the wall and i hope one it will just click wish you heaps of luck and hope it goes well for you :)

Julie - posted on 11/16/2009

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I have 3 children with Autism and sensory integration disorder and my oldest is almost 7 and still in diapers. I wish I could tell you something that would work but I have tried everything there is to try and still no luck.

[deleted account]

It took 6 different trial runs to train my son. His communication was low at best 3 words and was starting school soon. He did not train till 5 1/2.

Ideas we used
Our son was also too big for little potty. We set up a little folding table with stuff to do and had him sit on it regularly. Helps to also have a little study step stool.

To encourage him to do so ...
My mom, being an artist, painted him a cartoonish picture of him sitting on the toilet with a big old grin. Yep we even colored infront of him pee and little poop so that he would understand what was supposed to be in the toilet.

Tons of encouragement for him just going near the potty, sitting on the potty, pulling down pants, then underware/pull up. Even if it was for 2 min Done!

Also his preschool teacher told us about another child that was training who was given a train box car for each time he tried. They just drew it on a sheet of paper. My son didn't want a train but he loved the fact that I would draw a star for him. He loves lines and following my hands so the act of drawing for him was a big deal. Eventually it became stickers and him picking out which color.

Somethings my son picks up at amazing speed others are like potty training and were an extreme amount of work. I looked at it this way, it may take a long while slowly working on it but it is better than changing diapers forever. My son finally trained took 3 solid months the last run but it worked. /cheer Stars and mom's picture

Oh and I made sure his preschool was doing as close as possible as to what we were doing.

Now... staying dry overnight that's a whole other enchilada. Two sets of bedding, two or more mattress pads/covers, and lots of PJs. I got up twice a night for 2 years after he potty trained to train him how to be dry through the night.

Good luck :)

Renee - posted on 11/15/2009

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It sounds likie you need a picture exchange communiation system. They are pictures depicting actions with the word or words underneath the picture. They have them for everything. Including like pull down pants, sit on toilet, wait for pee or poop to come out, wipe, pull up underwear, pull up pants, wash hands, etc. etc. Once my son saw the order of things he sat on the toilet and had one of those aha moments like okay now I know what to do in here. The rest just fell into place after that. It sounds like catching him when he has to go is half the battle so after every meal or snack and drink take him eventually you will catch him show him the pictures of what to do and a connection should be made eventually. Good luck ! Oh you will find the picture exchange communication system online look under PECS.

User - posted on 11/15/2009

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My little guy was over 3.5 when he was essentially almost trained. Some would have said he wasn't trained because he still went through three or four pairs of underpants a day (drips and dribbles). Being dry at night just happened this summer (5.5)



I realized that my son didn't actually know what his potty was for because he would sit on it and pop up and say done, done! and then clap!



We skipped from potties to the toilet (he was really too big for any potty...a lady asked today if he was eight! I had a little bench so his feet touched the floor. Turned the water on, and waited...NOTHING. Then one day, quite by accident, he was on the toilet and a little dribble came out and he was already popping up yelling, DONE! Then I responded with shhhhhh, you might scare the pee! I want to hear the pee dance in the water (I know,sounds a little wacky!) anyways, he became excited that his pee was going to dance in the water (I have always sat him on the toilet and he still sits) we waited until we heard the dancing....The drips and dribbles didn't stop until this past summer.



So, after that, when he had that little dribble he would run to the toilet so his pee could dance in the water.



BMs came a little later, but he didn't want to ruin his Buzz Lightyear underpants.



I really tried not to stress with it (though I was) because I wanted him to be trained when he began school.



Sometimes it is just timing that makes everything work....I really don't have a magic answer other than to hope that the timing will work out for you and your little guy!



Put a picture of the toilet on the fridge, and everytime you take him, grab the picture, hand it to him and say, let's see if it's time to pee...do you feel a little tickle tickle telling you it's time to pee? Also, use the sign for toilet. It is the right thumb between placed between the index finger and the middle finger (the sign for t) and then a little shake of your hand. See if you can get your little guy to make this sign.



And remember to make a big deal over those little drips that make it into the potty!



If you are in Ontario, if your child is not trained, I believe it is Easter Seals that provides monetary respite for the cost of children's diapers. I could be wrong, but I am pretty sure...however, you said nappie...so UK?



Good Luck!



Sheila

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