Grunting, How do you handle this?...Pls help me

Cherish - posted on 07/02/2010

Hi,
I would not be embarrassed by it.
My son rocks,hums,hand flaps and makes ALL kinds of weird noises when we are out,if people look at him,I say something like "it is too bad that people stare at children w/special needs"

I have not tried to make him not make noises,it is part of who he is...no biggie

Eva - posted on 07/01/2010

Hello Summer,

My daughter is now 13 and is still to t his day doing what we call blurting!! I think it is a way for her to release anxiety, but I do understand about other parents and even children making faces and rude comments towards he and it is very embarrassing as a parent. Unfortunately I have been dealing with this particular behavior for her entire life and nothing has helped thus far. She will use random words like MILK and everything that comes out that day or sometimes that week in response to any stimuli is MILK. She used to also have imaginary friends which with the help of meds and psychological therapy has been taken care of but whenever we would go into a public place she would talk to her little friends!! I would get some of the worst looks from parents at those times.

Melanie - posted on 06/29/2010

You could get a shirt from this website. Then when they stare they won't have an excuse. I particularly like the one that gives a spot for a phone number nice and big on the front for nonverbal kids.

http://www.iloveachildwithautism.com/Aut...

Renee - posted on 06/29/2010

Ditto what Sheila said, because she knows what she's talking about. I can say that my nine year old son (with autism) still grunts. He does this little cough cough thing when he is stimming. It has gotten quieter, but it's there and sometimes it does get loud. I guess my take on the grunting thing in public is that my son is my son and I really don't care who hears what and what people say. My child consistently ignores people who stare or make comments which is really effective for him. People get the message when they comment and I give the momma bear stare and make eye contact with them. They fell pretty embarrassed when I give them, "he's living with autism" speech too. I guess my thing is we've been dealing with autism for almost 6 years and there hasn't been one time when I've been the embarrassed person, I simply refuse to be embarrassed. My son is a child like everyone else has a child, he is making his way in the world the best way he can and I can't ask anything more. The faster you get over it the better for you and your child. Good luck to you.

Sheila - posted on 06/19/2010

Hi summer,

Some children flap, or "tick", etc when dealing with their emotions...sounds like you are pretty sure he is vocalizing these grunting sounds when he is upset. This could be his form of self-regulation and might be helping to calm him and to put off a potential meltdown. So, in that light, rather to grunt than to have a complete loss of control.

So, it sounds like you need to try to find a way to help him self-regulate in a way that won't draw negative attention (I get that feeling). So, when he starts to make these noises, clearly ask, Billy what are you feeling? If he can't verbalize the feeling, have picture cards on a ring with faces of happy, sad, angry, excited, etc...have him pick the proper picture. If he is feeling upset, ask do you need a hug, a big squish? He might be needing physical reassurance from you that it will be okay.

It is one thing for little children to be less than sensitive, but if there is an adult being a less than supportive person, it is well within your right as a parent to say, my son is living with autism, and his life would be a whole lot easier if he didn't have to deal with disapproving stares and comments.

I can cope with the kids and their honest questions, but when a "mature" person rolls their eyes, WATCH OUT, Momma Bear has some words for you!!

Good luck,

Sheila