having hard time toilet trainning my autistic son

Laura - posted on 01/30/2009

i had such a battle trying to get my son toilet trained. i was trying for weeks to get tommy to use the loo. he was about to start school and one day he was sitting on the floor( he had a fondness for being nude..all but his feet which must be clothed at all times) i saw he was about to wee as he was watching and i said firmley "Thomas go to the toilet!" and he looked at me and ran to the loo and didn't have an accident since. his peadiatrician shook my hand and was shocked as he thought he'd never be trained. he still soiled himself up untill last year but i think sometimes things just click into place when the child is ready. i suggest taking the child to the toilet every half hour just for a few minutes as i know someone this worked for. good luck x x

Sasha - posted on 01/27/2009

All in all I think what comes accross here is no one way to do this. Lost of people use lots of different methods, and if they are lucky they find the one that works for their family and their child. On the whole AS kids are amazingly good at reacting to their parents stress. Alot of the time, it feels to me personaly that that the more stressed I get, the worse he behaves and the more he pokes and prods and does the behaviour that winds me up the most. The potty training seemed to work with my son when It became a non-issue and I stopped reacting to the whole thing. I do wish you luck, and hope you find your solution. The isues we have to face rasing these kids does shift over the years, but each time we find a way to handle a problem we get more insight into how our kids tick.

Marisa - posted on 01/27/2009

I've had some problems as well.  My son is almost 8 and at school he is completely potty trained, but at home is not. I've tried doing what his teacher said to do, but to no avail. We've tried pictures, schedules, positive reinforcement..

Angela - posted on 01/26/2009

I wish I had the answer for you, but I'm afraid this is just a battle that many of us have faced. social stories can help, but in the end, the only thing that did it for us was just biting the bullet and taking away the diapers. My son was almost 6 and refused to toilet train. He would hold it the entire day if he had to, only to soil his pullups as soon as we got him ready for bed. We finally threw out the diapers, but him in underwear, and then made him clean himself up when he wet or soiled himself. In just a few days, he started using the toilet and has never had an accident since. obviously the age that this might be successful will be greatly determined by how functional your child is. Sadly, I've know some families that are still diapering the children with autism during their teen years.

If nothing else, no that you are not alone. I truly sympathize.

Sasha - posted on 01/26/2009

I went through a gradual process. Once we got him to go on the potty, we created a flushing ceremony, where we would go and put it down the toilet together. He always saw where it went and we let him see us using the toilet, which felt odd at the time, but it did work. My son is 16 now, and even though he was was not young when we went through this, he has memory of it. It did work for us. It took a long time, but was worth it.

Deanna - posted on 01/26/2009

Thanks Sasha for your post it is definately helpful. I have been told not to use the potty because when it comes time to start using the toilet it is to confusing for them. Have you had success with your child using the potty 1st?

Sasha - posted on 01/26/2009

I'd sugest starting with edible rewards for sitting on the potty. Exagerate all your responses so he knows why he is getting rewarded and gradualy increase the time required for a reward. He wil always have good days and bad days, so it's a matter of judgment what to accept on a daily basis, and you can't say 'do it for 30 secons for the first few days then a min... ' If he sit's down for long enough to eat his meals, put a table over his potty and feed him on the potty. You need to catch enough 'accidents' for him see that this is what you want him to do. Always have the reward ready. It needs to be instant for him to understand what he's getting rewarded for. As with most of the problems that you will face, remember that you in a marathon not a sprint. Protect your own mental health. As with all AS disorders, you are in for an amazing journey, one with rewards and battles that are innumerable. Let yourself realy feel the joy of every breakthrough. Enjoy seeing the world in a way you never imagined it could be, and somhow find a way to have a life beyond being a parent of a child who needs you as much as he will.