Help deling with a new dignose for Autism

Sonia - posted on 10/12/2009

Hi Susan - I think in time you will feel that a diagnosis is actually a relief - it means a open door to a world of resources that were not there before - It can be quite a lonely time - we went through a very hostile situation at our daycare before we got our diagnosis and felt such relief that we were not the bad parents we had started to believe we were! The best advise to give you - always believe in yourself and your son and go with what feels right - you will learn to ignore what the unsupportive judging people in our communities think. God bless.

Brenda - posted on 10/11/2009

Susan,

I don't think I ever felt scared or worried about the dx of my son at 4yrs, he is now 13, but I do remember feeling relief and I was determined to find out what I could do to help him become a productive adult someday. I have always believed and will always believe my son will be a productive man in society. One thing I have learned is patience and repetitivness works the best for him, even if its not what he wants to do. I read everything, joined a group with kids who had the same diability, took him to a leading reseach Dr. right in my area. (what a blessing), check into the diet, had every test imaginable done, In the end I did what I thought best for my son. Each child will have different parts of the spectrum, so no one approach works, I found what works for my son, but it doesn't mean thats the end of it now we are in the teens and are starting to deal with another whole set of problems, puberty being the main one, but in the end autistic children are really no different then a normal children. We don't know anymore about them and what will make them tick then an autistic one. So what I'm trying to say is your son Chris (which is my sons name too) is a normal child with some areas of challanges. Treat him as normal and he will respond normal. I had two daughters before I had my son and I had to handle each one differently, depending on personallity. Find out as much as you can about your sons challanges and get all the support you can from family, friends and schools. Be your childs advocate. Knowledge is power. Use it to help your son be all that he can be. I know I was overwhelmed in the begining with the dx, but I would not do anything that I wasn't comfortable with for my son. God Bless and Patience, you will perservere. You will find much joy in your son thru the years as I have and he is still making me laugh. I love him with all my heart and I would never ask to miss out on what I have been thru. Remember the Lord only gives us only as much as he knows we can handle and you must be a very special person for the Lord to Bless you with Chris. Thats how I feel about myself and my family. :)

Sheila - posted on 10/10/2009

Get over...that's hard. Accept, adjust but get over is a totally different thing...you have to mourn the dreams of a child who will have an "easy life." I don't think about what he will be like in ten years or even ten months. I take each hurdle as it comes and celebrate EVERY victory. I also remind myself that the future of typical children is not guaranteed, so why should a child with autism have their future written in stone. Who knows where we will be in ten years....any of us, so be in your present. Enjoy your victories and remember how far you have come. If someone had asked me where I would be three years ago, I never would have imagined a funny, verbal little boy who loves to play legoes and go to the library...BUT HERE WE ARE!! A day at a time!

Cynthia - posted on 10/10/2009

It's one of the hardest things a parent will hear in a lifetime, but it gets better with time. You're doing a great thing by getting educated, because you're going to become your child's advocate. Talk to the Special Ed department at school, sometimes they have suggestions about social groups, doctors, meds, etc. Go to your state's Dept of Children and Families as well, they probably have resources there. Talk to family members and friends, in times of need they'll be there for you, specially when you need a break. I have a 14 year old autistic son who was diagnosed when he was 2, and a 7 year old son diagnosed with ADHD a year ago. We have moved a couple of times to find the best resources for them, and they're doing great in school. The 14 year old has been on the principal's honor roll a couple of times! :) If you want to talk, my email is gabytashikevin@yahoo.com .

Robin - posted on 10/09/2009

Sometimes it helps me to just remember that my son is the same child I had before his diagnosis. The diagnosis may aid you in getting help for him, understanding his responses, finding out how to cope with certain behaviors, but the diagnosis is not your child. You are doing the best you can for your family, and you deserve a pat on the back for that. You are learning about your son's condition and how to do all the right things to help him. A support group--or even a group of supportive friends--is a good step toward feeling like you can handle this. Sometimes it takes being with people who are coping with the same feelings and situations to make you realize you aren't alone, and that you CAN deal with this. There will always be times you feel overwhelmed, but you won't always feel like you're drowning!

Letitia - posted on 10/09/2009

when hannah was diagnosed at age 2 with autism i burst into tears as i had no idea what to do how how to help her and yes it was scary... i blamed myself and thought i had failed her during pregnancy or after her birth.

my advice is take all the services offered even if you dont think you need them right now. ask for help if u feel you cant cope dont be ashamed thats what they are there for they arent going to frown upon you. when your ready to talk about it then you will but dont feel pushed into it just take your time processing the information

Sheila - posted on 10/08/2009

Hi Susan...I understand this is a time when you are having a whirlwind of emotions. You will be ok....and you will learn to cope with this. I have an autistic son who was diagnosed at 3 and is now 6. I just wrote an article about hope to cope with this diagnosis that changes your life. I hope this helps and if you have any questions send me a message anytime. Take care...here is the link...http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Cope-When...

Susan - posted on 10/08/2009

Thank You. I know that this will get easyer over time. I need to keep telling myself that Chris is ok and we are so blesed to have such wonderfull people in our lives. I just want to stop crying about this all the time, someone at work will ask me how the kids are and its a 50/50 shot if I can talk about it or just start crying.

Shasta - posted on 10/08/2009

Yes you will. your still in the early stages so it's really normal to be overwhelmed. You may want to look into Targeted Case Managment for your son. This is a person who meets with your family, learns about your needs, and finds local resources for you. They do all the legwork. All you have to do is accept and fill out paperwork. It's reallly a big help. I would also contact your states Autism Society to find a support group in your area. This could really help you to understand and accept a little easier. Also, you can find alot of great ideas to help you and your son. :)

Teresa - posted on 10/08/2009

At first question start to fly out of your head and it seems like the everything is just going so fast. You will be okay though I cant say it gets eaiser, but I think you learn how to handle somethings better than before. Make sure you have Routine, Routine, Routine. Very important. Never give up and be strong. I had a very smart doctor once tell me if you treat your child like he has a disablity he will act like he has one. Something are harder than others but that will come in time, you will begin to understand what the limits are and what is possible for you child to do with out "melt-downs" Just take it a day at a time. If you need anything that I can help with im always a click away. God Bless

Pat - posted on 10/07/2009

Everything seems to be a nightmare at first. You will deny this has happened to your child. Yes it is hard, I have to admit it will always be there, the what if he was normal. My son was diagnosed at the age of 3, he is now 11. What got over many hurdles of autism, we still have many more to go. Just educate yourself and take any support you can. In the long run once you accept the fact of the diagnosies you will be o.k. Just be there for him.