help identifying behaviors from my sons diagnosis

Nicole - posted on 11/19/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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hi my boy is nine has severe adhd odd pdd and asd possibly aspergers, he is extremely violent and aggressive and angry at least five times a day i am a b!@#$ a mother fer i get things thrown at me i am yelled at its like he has no feelings of remorse shame or guilt at treating me horrible he reminds me od the desription of a serial killer he has what i call dead eyes when i ask him why he does it he tells me i dont know and he cant remember what he has done.i have done charts rewards spanking yelling lists books therapists meds chores everything you can think of every day i am on the computer finding something new. we go to weekly therapy i adjust my life i have quit my job because my home has become so stressfull. my son was on all the meds they could prescribe for a kid and i found that his behavior was equally yucky without them so i took him off there is no difference in behavior. every night i am crying for my lost life. please tell me what behaviors i am able to help and which ones i need to accept due to his needs i dont know. I treat him like a normal child with normal expectations is that wrong..?

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Denise - posted on 11/21/2009

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I know what you are going through. My son started acting out when he was 1 1/2 years old. The dr told me it was me. I didnt think I was a bad mother. But I didnt give up hope that someone would help us, as you know it affects the whole famliy. Things got much worse before they got better. We did the whole med thing, going to appts with the dr, talk talk talk. By the time he was 14yr old he was placed( by my request) in an rtf (he spent 2 years there) which was about 2 hour drive away. They tested him and said he had pdd. It took a long time for him to get to the point where he is now, at age 23. I know it's hard now because your son is young but it will get better with time. And I agree, yelling and spanking do not help. Talk to him, ask him why he is upset even if he cant tell you why, most important thing..tell him you love him everyday.

Nicole - posted on 11/20/2009

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thank you everyone for your help i really appreciate it i am going to so some research and build a spreadsheet to print out coordinating all the symptoms and behavior modification accordingly so i have a reminder in my pocket at all times thanks

Chris - posted on 11/20/2009

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my son is 6 he had some of the same issues,we were told that acting physical towards him makes it worse,whatever you do stay calm and dont let him resort you to yelling or hitting,making him look you in the eye and talking about his feelings instead of letting him get mad and lash out,no time outs just take him in a room and talk about it,telling him to make the right choice and give him other options instead making a stand or demanding he comply just makes you seem like a dictator,try to put your self in your childs shoes,he has feelings you just have to help him find them.good luck

Kira - posted on 11/19/2009

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Hi Nicole. I hope you are able to find someone to help you. I would try getting him into daily therapy to see if it helps. I don't think that you treating your son like an average child is wrong but you just need to remember that he isn't average. He is above average and needs you a bit more than another child would. You could try talking to the therapist and see how they handle other children with his disabilities. I talk to my son's therapist all the time and she gives me all sorts of info, places to check out, and diff things to try. If something did or didn't work I tell her and we go from there. You can do it so don't give in. Also take a little time for yourself every once in a while so you can collect yourself and de-stress. Good luck.

Jennifer - posted on 11/19/2009

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well i have a son who is 5 and was diagnosed on the autism spectrum. he did alot of the same stuff not to that degree. i feel for you start a journal sometimes it is what they are eating i know it sounds weird or dumb but try gluten free and see if it helps i have heard it does from other moms with the same problem. also try other doctors get other opions see what they say. i know you feel lost but believe me the is light at the end of the tunnel. also try to see what sets him off what times try to get him in a special school if he is not already in one. if you have any more questions you can email me on facebook at jennifer adams or on here or jen1234adams@yahoo.com i have a few freinds that have children with adhd and the problems that you have with your son so if i cant help you they can

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