Help my 2 1/2 son is playing favorites. My son only wants daddy all the time now and I feel sad.

Maritza - posted on 09/07/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Now my 2 and half year old son only wants to be with his dad and I feel hurt by this. I know he doesnt know any better but I cant help but feel hurt. I dont even want to go to friends and family functions becuase my son always misbehaves and cuases and scene when its me and his dad that take him some where. His dad spoils him more. Help !

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Stacey - posted on 09/07/2009

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For starters, have you spoken to your partner, he needs to know how you feel. Am I right in assuming that your partner works and gets to spend less time with your son, so the time he does spend with him is about having fun and getting spoiled etc? Whereas you are the one who stays at home with your son more, and has to do more of the boring stuff (housework, cooking, bathing etc) and do more of the discipline etc? Maybe your partner needs to help you out with discipline more so it seems more even from your son's point of view. Also, have you tried taking him to do fun stuff, just you and him, if you can, maybe you could set a day every week where you do something together that he will really enjoy, quality time. Maybe you could find something special that just the 2 of you can do at home together, let him help you do some basic cooking/ baking with you in the kitchen, or get him some special paints or craft stuff that is just for the 2 of you. Just some ideas, hope it helps.

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Emily - posted on 09/08/2009

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My son did the same thing from about 1 year to 3 years, he switched over to wanting me all the time just in the last few months. Now I'm the only one he'll let give him a bath, put him in bed, the only one he wants if he wakes up in the night. I felt like you did for awhile now I am on the flip side. It would be nice if either mom or dad would do equally. Good luck with everything.

Alicia - posted on 09/07/2009

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Ouch, my son did the same thing for a while. He is still a daddy's boy but is much more attached to me now than he used to be. It sucked going out because it was so obvious he prefered his dad that I felt like a bad mom. I felt like I was failing our relationship in some way. My husband is laid off so has been a stay at home parent for almost a year now. He was actually laid off one week after we found out Liam was autistic. Crappy month..... Anyway I also had some resentment because I felt like it should have been me at home with him. It suprised me how much this past year has challenged all of my feminist principles. I think it's a lot harder for moms to be the lesser parent in their childrens eyes than it is for dads. We all grow up with the opposite as an ideal. I tried to remind myself frequently that atleast he was connecting with us even if it was dad heavy. Some autistic kids don't know how to express that connection. Stacey made some great suggestions. I tried taking quality time and doing things only we did and that really helped us.

Theresa - posted on 09/07/2009

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I know how you are feeling.I also felt that way when my boys were that young.I didn't understand as to why they didn't want me but soon came to find out it was a developmental milestone.After a while both of my boys came running back to me and didn't want there father as much.I hope thisd helps in easing your hurt.

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