Help with Asperger's son

Abigayle - posted on 05/17/2012

I went through the same thing, I was at a loss when he got too big to affectively restrain. I found the best combo of medications that didn't make his violence worse but eliminated it. Abillify and Chlondine...the chlonidine is only at night. Both are small doses. NO stimulants and NO anti-psychotics like Risperdol. Than keep him in a play therapy once every two weeks at least and make sure he has an aide assigned to him at school. Create a quite safe spot at home for him when he gets upset. Also, give the night med at the same time every night so his sleep cycle regulates because that also helps with behavior.

Crystal - posted on 05/12/2012

Ask your dr to try clonidine it helps with aggression and also helps with any adhd symptoms. We have used this 3 different times with my 17 year old son and it has helped. Another medication we have used is abilify and it has worked wonders. Yes I have been through that you need to have an eval done also and get a medication change done.

Lisa - posted on 05/12/2012

I have been through it marcy and it is absolutely awful......My son is nearly 19 now and I still struggle but it is basically just a case of riding with it. I sent my son to his room soooo many times because he was putting fear into the whole house and I would often challenge him about his disrespect and abusive chatter. No one understood what I was going through and still dont but it has got slightly easier, I say slightly because we are still battling with the nasty things he says to memebers of the family but inside he is so lovely and hurting All I can sa
y is try to ignore his outbursts unless of course he is hurting his siblings, in this instance just explain that you will have to take away one of his pleasures, it will take a long time but eventually they understand. I feel for you x

Christina - posted on 06/04/2011

Does Aspergers syndrome affect a child's sleep?

Aimee - posted on 09/11/2010

I also have a 9 year old with Asperger's, ADHD, Tic Disorder and possible mood disorder. He takes Straterra and Zoloft which do seem to help with aggression. They tried him on Aderall and it made his aggression much worse, as did Lithium. We do have sleep issues also. He takes Melatonin at bedtime and it works wonders. My older son was on Clonidine at one time and it did not help. He was also on Abilify which made his aggression worse, plus the side effects can be awful. Good luck, I hope it works out.

Kathy - posted on 09/11/2010

when my son is on a small dose of Abilify, he is not violent. if my son is on a slighly higher dose, he is VIOLENT, physically abusive towards us. Try less Ability or related mood stabilizer ASAP

RENEA - posted on 09/04/2010

Also Yall be careful many Doctors try to change the diagnosed condition to Bi-Polar because the symptoms many are the same. Stand firm on what you know. You live with your children everyday you see where a doctor only gets 30 min to 1 1/2 hour to learn the lifetime of our children. Take notes about everything

Carol - posted on 09/04/2010

My 10 yr old grandson was taking adderal and zoloft at the same time too. What a nightmare! He was taking these at 8 and became so aggressive he was nearly thrown out of school! He beat the daylights out of one child for no reason and threatened to stab another child! I talked to his dr. who immediately took him off the adderal and put him on reperidol which made the aggression even worse! He then put him on Intuniv and the aggressive behavior stopped very quickly. What a blessing. There are no stimulants in it. He was still taking the zoloft for a while after he started the intuniv but the aggression was still gone. He also has sleep problems so he takes a melatonin at bedtime. He now gets a restful nights sleep which also helps with his attitude. Have you tried a gluten free diet? There are a lot of foods out that are labeled organic that still have gluten in them. This seems to help for a lot of people, not just kids. If you have told your dr. the meds are not helping, I have to ask, why isn't he/she changing the meds? Maybe you need to find a different dr. if the one you are seeing is not listening to your concerns.

Teresa - posted on 09/03/2010

your story has bought tears to my eyes as we have experienced similar and i empathise with you. we got through this with alot of support from family and friends. we basically had time out from matt ( 2 other sons would sleep over at friends often, matt stay with family over night and even though he did not like this it gave my husband and i a break and time to reflect and plan what we would do in certain situations. when things became very violent i would ensure safety of others...this sometimes meant sending other sons to neighbours or friends (matt would hurt others but not self) we also removed dangerous items out of easy reach so it would be more difficult for matt to get them when in a rage ( no knives, i also hid spare key out side as matt would often lock us out of house so we could enter when he seemed calmer). now this may sound weird, but we got a labrador puppy and matt bonded amazingly and over time his behaviour eased as he seemed too buisy with puppy to worry about us! i dont know how you can stop things , but look after self and have a break if can

Tamara - posted on 09/02/2010

Marcie, my AS son is 10 and we went through this when he was 3-7. Thankfully he wasn't big enough to do TOO MUCH damage! In my dealings with it, I have found that when S had a meltdown like that it normally meant he was stressed out about something. Since you can see everything going on at home, then I would check the school. Make a list of when his biggest outbursts are (timewise) I bet you will see a pattern. Counseling doesn't tend to help these guys because they do not know how to express their feelings. You would think counseling would help that, but mine attended counseling for over 2 years and nothing changed. It was when I finally started looking into his school that things started changing. In the long run, I had to pull him from his local elementary school and put him in a public online school (completely free). I don't know if that would be an option for you. Check out k12.com/ whatever your state initials are. I will tell you my child has NOT had a major meltdown in over a year. Mini ones (crying over loosing a video game or some such thing) but nothing we couldn't handle. I was TERRIFIED I would hurt his social skills by doing this, but it seems to have gone the other direction. Due to the outings with the "Cyber Academy" he has figured out, own his own terms, how to make friends and now has a handful of "true" friends as he calls them. He had his biggest birthday party ever this year and was BEAMING from it! I hope this helps. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I have 2 AS boys (16yo and 10yo) and have been dealing with AS for 8 years.

Tamee

RENEA - posted on 09/01/2010

I hear you. Brace your self. My son was born 3 1/2 months premature due to a drunk driver hitting me in my car when I was 6 mo preg that was 20 years ago. From about age 9 until about 16 all hell broke loose. I wasa told it was due to pubarty. My husband and I ave been married for the past 23 years and our mariage was almost destroyed. I tell you this not to cause fear but to prepare you. Sit down with your husband and make an agreement that no matter what you two will stand strong TOGETHER. That is the only way you as a man and wife will make it. In one year alone our son was in more then 15 psyc hospitals. Some were helpful but most just made our son a zombie with drug after drug. There are helpful areas you can search I do not know what state you are in but We are willing to help. Sometimes you will just need to vent to someone who dosent know you and someone who has been there and that knows that things you might feel are not the same things as things you are or will do. Your son will get back to a place that can be managed I promise but things will get better only with time. Please remember you are not alone. My son is 6 foot 4 I am only 5 foot 1 I have been pushed and hit and thrown over furniture but once the hormones became stable our son did to. Our son never ment to hurt me or his dad We know that and even knew it a few years ago. OUR Aspergers children are cought between two worlds the world of the autism that is dark and alone and the world of the here and now that is light where things are seen the problem is our aspergers children cant stay in one of these places if they could they would choose us believe it no matter what is said or done your child loves you and his family but also remember you MUST protect the others or they will feel punished and alone in a strange way brothers and sisters become aspergers victims. They cant play or go places because of the behavior of someone other then them. Keep the other kids into anything even if it is just 15 min a day make sure they know you are so proud of them. here is my direct email any time you feel like talking or if you just want to vent you are not alone.

Mr & Mrs Ruben and Renea Lopez
Trinity, Texas
COOKIES4RENEA@WINDSTREAM.NET

Anke - posted on 09/01/2010

Hi, I hope things have got a bit better for you since your son has been taken to the hospital- have you had any results from the evaluation yet? And what about the detoxing and re-evaluation of his meds? I feel for you in this difficult time and wish you all the best.
My son is only 4 1/2 and being diagnosed at the mo, probably ADHD, possibly Aspergers or PDD NOs...he's also got violent temper tantrums and I do worry about what's in store for us as he gets older! So it's incredibly useful for me to read other peoples advice and experience, and I am very grateful for all your input.
I have no experience with meds and am hoping to keep my son off it, I realise that s.t. it might be the best or only possible option, but I do hope you might be able to down regulate your son's meds, it can't be the best long-term solution.
With my son (i know, much younger and all, but still) I find that physical exercise does so much for him- taking him out on his bike, swimming, football, whatever it tires him out, calms him down, helps him sleep and makes him a much happier boy! He also does Tak Kwon Do and it is amazing how well behaved he is and responsive to instructions! I would just like to suggest that maybe you think about involving him more in physical exercises and experiences, esp. also with your other kids, also to help create some happy occasions for the whole family, do as much outdoor, exercise, nature stuff as you can- it might help you all calm down, bond, and soothe the stress and pain!
Good luck and I'd be really interested to hear how you and your son, and rest of family, are getting on.

Abigayle - posted on 09/01/2010

Kerry I totally agree with you. I have worked for three to four years with an Autistic son who was so violent that he had to be put in a classroom by himself with one teacher and nothing he could use as ammunition. He banged his head so violently into the wall that he would start to bleed and it would take two grown adults to hold him down when he had been only three years old. I had been married to someone that refused to medicate and at first because I was the one left home on deployments I was begging to medicate. I am lucky that not one psychologist, psychiatrist, or pediatrician was a quick medicator. My son was barely grade level and there was not way to really accurately see how his academics were due to the fact his behavior was so bad. Then after he started first grade in Germany and was there for the second year...it was all of our delight that we had all learned, parents, neighbors, teachers staff...how to finally piece our puzzle of Andrew together. That school in Germany hadn't had that severe of a case before. I worked hand in hand with them and we put everything into place at school and same at home. His routine was so rigid it was minute by mintue not joking...pants on at five after ten after he got drug out of the bed etc. We forced him to walk instead of hide in the stroller at six years old...we refused to let him throw any sort of fir that he got to go home. Half of the day sometimes he sat in with social stories with the guidance couensolor. After all the hard work, the personal sacrifices that school made for my son; with yes, a little insistence and persistence but in the end the pride in my son's eyes was remarkable. He transitioned only after six weeks from start of first grade to Ft Stewart Georgia to a horrible spec ed program but I believe its just not understanding the children; a doctor on post diagnosing and perscribing all sorts of drugs and same diagnosis when its apparent the child is not thriving; worse these children wouldn't have all satisfied the necessary criteria under the DSM 4 even.

After a whole year of no tantrums, no violent outbursts, finally doing chores, homework, had a best friend for the first time, had his first sleep over, wanted to go to school....finally being right at grade level and so happy. He started finally verbalizing with the emotion how he felt...a huge step for him because he feels he would be violent. The day his teacher wasn't there and only this one day; today of all days...after heck a year and a half now...through a process of divorce, a father he really hasn't seen in two years, a brother in a year, new grade, new teacher with no bff in class...he was playing with a child and it was oh save me patrcik oh yes spongebob stuff and he grabbed the kid by the wrist to pull him out so he would live...lol...but the person that was in charge of them didn't know Andrew. He worked with schizophrenic children. Had the nerve to, and four of these staff members mind you asking did he take his medication. I really barely made it without blowing a gasket. I had to keep saying I was sorry and holding my breath. I said he hasn't ever been on medication I have kept him off and when the asst principal tried to insinuate I was being neglectful (not that maybe I just dedicate every moment of every day with little to now sleep and three other children and a military wife...) because he should be medicated for ADHD...WTH...so I went to the EFMP doctor who is a little more knowledgeable and educated in at least ADHD and she refused to medicate him because of his violent behavior it would make it worse; as Kerry mentioned. ADHD children have different motivations for what seems the same behavior. My god, my godbaby is nine dianosed with Aspergers, ADHD, OCD and on a higher dose of Adderrall a day than I am plus takes an anti psychotic so why is it that he is in a regular class, getting frustrated, afraid, nervous, no friends, and being unable to go to a quiet zone for his sensory breaks...fully loaded on this stuff that is supposed to help him and yet his mother is still called all the time.

My son is in a special education class with an aide that they are trying to take away slowely to see how well he can do in the normal class. This just depends on his moods, the sensory overload issues. He is a year younger than his godbrother, a year behind grade level, was delayed in speech three years after him, had almost ODD or Bipolar Like violent issues, and is a at a six year old mentality and the other maybe the same. Yet my son isn't medicated and he is. My son is the one excelling in spec ed off meds and my god baby I and his mother are doing everything we can to make sure to do a total reassessment and second opinion.

I asked him if he wanted to try to work with me and hang out with me all weekend and not takes his meds. He ran to his mom sooo excited, his eyes bright and saying can i can i. I asked him a few times to make sure and I get the biggest hugs. I asked if he was in a classroom like
Andrew where everyone understood him, where they had comfort and safe zones, where none of the other kids ignored him or laughed at him...would he be able to do a good job in a class like that and be like Andrew who works really really hard everyday to remember the techniques we used and not take that stuff and he said yes...I think its the best decesion I made with my son. Mine can now down the road take meds and know he can do it as well without and my godson has no idea how its going to feel.

Crystal - posted on 09/01/2010

Clonidine works well for aggressiveness.Also bipolar and other things go along with asperger's believe me. The other thing is sometimes at 9 boys start on puberty and aspie children it changes them. I have a soon to be 16 year old.

Sarah - posted on 09/01/2010

it sounds to me like he has a mood disorder along with the aspergers. My son is almost 15, and he has been having rages since he was about 2. By 10, he was assaulting teachers at school. Since 11 he has been on medications to *try* to control his aggression. He barely weighs 90 pounds, but until a year ago, he was on enough Risperdal to make him fall asleep after dinner. He is currently on 7.5 mg abilify, 1 mg tenex, and 20mg prozac every morning. IN the evening he takes another 5mg of abilify and 1mg of tenex. We have our fingers crossed that this will finally work--he hasn't had a rage since memorial day.

It is easy to say "remove them from the situation", but in some kiddos, you honestly cannot remove them. My son literally HAS to be taken down to the floor to minimize injury. The last year or so I have literally taken pictures of injuries I have sustained in the first 30 seconds of attacks.

Susie - posted on 08/31/2010

Was he like this before the medication? Maybe the medication has something to do with it. My son who is 8 also has Asperger's. He is the opposite of your son. He is very gentle and sensitive (sometimes too much). He helps with my younger son who is 17 months and gets upset with me if I don't get him right away when the younger one is crying or when I tell the older one he cannot go check on Bradley because he is still sleeping. I am prying for you and your family. Susie Baker.

Angela - posted on 08/31/2010

Hi Marcy, The same thig happened with my son. He is 10 now but a year ad a half ago I had to make thededcision to put him on medication for his agression issues. I told myself it would be short term while I could deal with him better and help teach him appropriate behavior. That did work and i am happy to say that he is off that particular med now. He does take other medication and I fought that for a long time but realized I was simply doing a diservice to him, our family and even his school. We have a great psychiatrist now who has really helped us - along with the last oe. We go to a teaching hospital and the first Dr. we only had for 6 months but he was great and now I know we will change Dr.'s pretty much every two years but this team of Dr.'s are so great. It has made all the difference in the world in helping my son. He rarely hits any more - can't rememmber the last time. A good Dr. and even short term meds can really help. we also used Applied behavioral Therapy which did wonders and we still use that today.

Michelle - posted on 08/31/2010

Hi Marcy! My son is almost 11 and has bi polar disorder as well as aspergers. When he was 3, he almost broke my arm, tried to jump out of a moving car, tried to climb out of a 2nd story window, and slammed a door on a kitten. My 3 other kids (2 are older) are always having to adjust to whatever mood we are dealing with. He is on meds for the bi polar disorder and it has taken a long time to get the dosage right, and we still have these issues a lot. What we did was make his room as safe as possible - no glass in the pictures, no trophies or lamps or heavy objects, painted it a soothing color and gave him an ipod filled with the music he likes....he loves music and it calms him right down. Rather than sending him to his room as a punishment, it is more like a retreat and he doesn't have to join us until he feels better. Def. go see his doctor and check on his meds, though.

Rebecca - posted on 08/31/2010

I sure have been. Two sons with ASD...one with Aspergers and one with autism. The 19 yo with Aspergers has been a tough one, but each year gets easier than the previous one. We found that when we did the counseling (which he still does), at that age it wasn't advantageous to discuss "why" as much as it was to talk about appropriate behaviors. The last year he has been delving into the "whys". They usually do not read their own emotions well, and everything around them is only important as far as how it relates to THEM! It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Is is doctor a psychiatrist, a developmental pediatrician, general practioner...? We found things improved DRAMATICALLY when we finally got a doctor that was well versed in medications and the combinations often needed to control the aggression. The aggressions were severe and other children in family were scared. We still have occasional outbursts (couple times a year) but mostly things are great! Our son is on 4 medications....we wish it were none. He wouldn't change it at all because he is pleased that it works so well, as we are. Hang in there!

Josie - posted on 08/31/2010

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I have the opposite problem. My son is 9 years old and severe Asperger's. He is so sweet and well behaved at home, but has so many problems at school. I feel like I am at the end of my rope on a daily basis. I wish I knew what to say to help you, but it is unfamiliar territory for me. I wish you the best sweetheart!!

Shelly - posted on 08/31/2010

As a child with Asperger's, I became violent out of frustration. I couldn't express what I was feeling, and my feelings were so overwhelming I couldn't keep them bottled up.
What helped me may/may not help your child: physical pressure. You know, being squeezed or weighed down. Not to the point where it hurts or anything, but very heavy blankets or being squeezed through a heavy comforter - not directly - calmed me down - and still does.
Now I only get violent when badly startled, and it lasts just a second, more of a self-defense thing. Oh, that poor kid at the House of the Seven Gables who jumped out at me ten years ago!

Lauren - posted on 08/31/2010

I forgot to mention that Lexi also has Epilepsy (her autistic tendencies are caused by seizure damage) and ADD wich makes things challenging the homefront is now under control for the most part but we are now fighting with the school for services that she needs but they seem quite content just being a babysitting service rather than giving her an education

Lauren - posted on 08/31/2010

My daughter has autistic spectrum disorder wihich presents itself like asperger's the best 2 thing I ever did was get her enrolled in a theraputic horse back riding program and take her to an occupational therapist 2x a week 1x a week was not enough both need only a note from the Dr. and insurance covers most of these for us you may have a different plan plus surprisingly martial arts did wonders because it gave her focus and discipline to her anger now she hits a punching bag not anything alive (we have pets)

Melissa - posted on 08/30/2010

I have an 8 yr old son that is autistic and he acts that way towards hs brother I too would like to know how to stop this behavior

Belinda - posted on 08/30/2010

I've got a 13 yr old son with AS too, has at times had the aggressive behaviour and on meds. Try going back to your paediatrician, either change the meds or change the dosage to see if that helps. Occupational Therapy, is a great help. My son did the sound therapy through Occupational Therapy. It has calmed him heaps. They work with their individual needs. Speech pathologist has helped too. Alot of their aggression is from not being able to express themselves properly. And recently we're seeing a physiologist too, helping with behaviour change. I have found with the combination of all the different therapist, has helped heaps. I hope this helps you and your family. Good Luck!!

Belinda

Melissa - posted on 08/30/2010

I just wanted to share that I am an RN and have seen this autism spectrum affect so many people in so many ways. It is truly a technique for the physicians who manage these meds. I want to so that I too had a child that before the age of 3 only had 1 word in his vocabulary. We had intensive behavior modification with him early and have him in a great school district. He started out in early childhood classes. I use to have to sit on the floor wrap my arms around my sons body, hold his head (it is the most dangerous flailing part of him at the time) and wrap my legs around him until he quit. He has always been impulsive, but now it is 90 % better at the age of 11 than at 3 yrs old. Their are so many programs out there for these children. You do need to live "near" a good size city to have access to these programs. Look up "Eva's Hero's" and "the Gordan Hartman foundation" for reference's. Did you know that in 2006 there were only about 200 Behavior Modification Psychiatrist in the U.S.? My son has occasionally seen Chris Plauche- Johnson to help manage his meds. He is also ADD and on Adderall. Without Adderall his days are horrible. He was on Paxil and I absolutely hated it. He was withdrawn and not himself. This is a lifelong diagnosis that once you find medication's that work you stick with them until they no longer work. One the person's "receptor sites" are saturated you will have to change meds. But only 1 thing at a time. We do a lot of preparing for what's to come with our son. Telling him, "In 15 minuntes we are going to start getting ready for bed." Then, "it's time to go change clothes, it's time to take your medicine, it's time to brush your teeth." Now he can do 3 task all by himself. If he forget's he comes back and say's, Mom I forgott he 3rd thing. You must have patience. Every person is different and I truly think some of the autism children will never be able to live alone and fully take care of themselves. But then again, in 1 year my son had a vocabulary jump of 21 months. That is nearly 2 years in 1. He makes me laugh, he makes me cry, he is 1 in a million to me. Did you know 99% of MIT (massachusetts institute of technology) students are autistic. They are the "Bill Gates" of the world. God Bless and I hope you find an answer and some peace. May God walk with anyone who has an Autistic child, it is the most challenging and yet rewarding of lives.

Nickie - posted on 08/30/2010

Also look on amazon for some books on Aspergers survial and there is a book called "The explosive Child " that is suppose to be really good.

Good luck!

Nickie - posted on 08/30/2010

I also agree that with alot of kids with Aspergers nothing works. But that is like with anything. If YOU know it's not working and the dr. isn't working with you get a new one. Same for therapy. Support groups will help you and the kids out as well. A safe way to vent with others who understand what you are going through.

Nickie

Nickie - posted on 08/30/2010

My oldest has aspergers ( he is 17) and has been hospitalized several times now. 4-5 times. He isn't as bad as he was but he did still punch me in the eye a few weeks ago and he is having to go in front of a review board for his punishment (military system different if one lives on post).

Honestly I haven't figured it out. But go online to Amazon and put in Aspergers syndrome survival guide and they have alot of books there that may help you.
There is a book that I hear is good called "The Explosive Child" look for it on amazon as well.


I can tell you it will take time and patience.

Nickie

Abigayle - posted on 08/30/2010

My son has High Functioning Autism and Sensory Integration disorder. He had extreme violent tantrums that didn't stop until a year ago. I would recommend a BIP for school..a Behavioral Intervention Plan..my son got so bad that they had to put him in a classroom by himself with one teacher and remove everything he could use against someone violently. I have had to bear hug him and burrito wrap him and rock him for six hours on end. I was told that medication would make it worse and the doctor decided against medication. My child is eight and a half right now.
From my understanding, and please check on this it may help in medication treatment, Aspergers overlaps in Autism and schizoid personality disorders. I found on my own research recently for behavior and my son...that they use antipsychotic medications in autism spectrum disorders.

Violent behaviors are seen in both Aspergers and Autistic children; the theory being that there is violence in Asperger patients because of social cognition and they can't "appreciate" difference in their mental states.

Some strategies that may help are:
1: Eliminate shouting/yelling: I did this myself. It takes patience and a strong back bone but I would get eye level and calmly but loud enough for him to hear me "I want to help and mommy always wants to make you feel better but until you calm down I can't understand what you want"...sometimes its while two of us at seven years old; had to keep him restrained. When this was the case a friend or other parent would bear hug and say things like "We know you love us...we don't hurt people we love right?" After he would relax we would tentatively release him and if he started scratchin, kicking biting..whatever he was doing we would re-restrain him. Repeating as many times as we had to. It did take a huge effort but we were able to eventually do this strategy when he was not at restraining moment and now we don't have to do anything but be firm and no violence.

2: "Safe Spot": My son's school introduced this not only for his violent behavior but also for this habit of running away. We utilize on special spot in his classroom, in our house it is his walk in closet in his room where he can turn off the light (this helps for sensory tantrums that are a lot of the time...it causes a lot of anxiety). He has a blanket and pillow as well; also a bottle of water, some books and stuffed animals...only plastic hangers and nothing that he could really hurt himself with. If he is acting out and seems to be on the verge of a meltdown I go to eye level, use two fingers and point from his eyes to mine and calmly ask if he needs his safe spot. He will normally say yes right away and waits for permission (one of his oddities) and then retreats. We point out where a safe spot will be in every person's home we go to right when we get there. I know this works for Aspergers as well because my god daughter and god son both have the disorder.

3: Elminate Spanking: This is something I did because my second husband does not believe in this form of punishment. He also had been through anger management and didn't want to hurt our kids if one day he lost it so I tried it as well and not only did it really work wonders with all the kids; Andrew's behavior also got better. One it was very un-nerving for him to hear us yell at his siblings or dad at me...he is protective of his mommy especially and it would immediately cause a meltdown. If it was him that got a spanking his behavior got out of control and he would do things like bang his head on the wall and if you didn't stop him he would even do it after he started bleeding. My kids stepmom used a belt on him and I found out and stopped it right away because it sent him regressing the time we were visiting their home for Xmas. He becomes almost zombie like as well and has no personality retreating further into his own world.

4: Keep what you are telling him simple and leave out un-necessary words.

5: Keep your movements purposeful and slow them down.

6: If its something "senosry"...too much light, too many people, too much noise...remove him from the enviornment...there was a fire bell at school that set my son off and I was restraining him in the hallway..nurse unlocked the door and we turned off the light and he let me rock him until he could walk home.

It is very frustrating as a parent to not understand what is always or anytime, going on in their head. This of course makes it difficult to understand the reasons and triggers for their behaviors. I have read and starting using this technique...identify the triggers for the child's meltdowns. If you have other children...educate and teach them about his disorder and it helps with their interactions. I did this as well. His older brother was always berating his brother's behavior and saying he was stupid. Andrew couldn't verbalize at the time emotions so acted out when his feelings got hurt. We found that to be a trigger, discussed why he does that to his brother and their relationship got better. My daughter is twenty months younger then Andrew and because she knows he is mentally the same age as her she became the teacher with tying shoes, washing his own hair, picking out his clothes. Even though she has to help him he now can proudly come to me and say he did it without my help.

This was hard for me to do because I was really all he had as an advocate of his Autism even within family. But try not to coddle and baby him because of his disorder. It can build resentment in the other kids in your home and create other avenues for meltdowns...once I started giving him small chores like the other kids he feels proud and no longer had meltdowns when asked to do something.

A trigger for us was the classroom...we recently asked to switch him back the previous year spec ed teacher because his best friend wasmoved back and his new teacher he can't bond with...we had difficulties before school and doing homework again and he started regressing...behavioral issues being a concern. We have demanded in a nice way and he is being moved. I don't use medication for my child myself...I have done every research, every strategy, and seen as many doctors as I could to help him learn to progress and understand and work within his disorder so he knows how to function off the medication. If it doesn't seem to be working take him off and use stratiegies you put in place or maybe with strategy and routine and comfort zones he will progress and you can get it under control. Don't get me wrong I will medicate if he needs it eventually but I was not medicated until adulthood raising a child with Autism. I know how to function on and off the meds. I found for me it was a huge plus for me just in case I didn't have them or couldn't afford them. I know that they won't ever NOT have a spectrum disorder but my son acts more "normal" than before and he is in our world more and more. Just try and reach into his and help him figure out what his triggers are and once you know them he feels understood. Even if he can talk like I said mine didn't know how to verbalize emotions and with a sensory disorder he laughs when supposed to cry...its not easy for him. You will find a way eventually don't ever give up and if you need anything else just ask.

Pennie - posted on 08/30/2010

You might supplement his medical care with holistic approaches, such as visualization and acupressure. I have seen remarkable successes with aspberger's syndrome with children and adults using jin shin jyutsu (energy medicine). Locate a practitioner near you at www.jsj.com. I offer health tips on my free weekly health/happiness blog at penniesempell.wordpress.com.

Kristine - posted on 08/30/2010

I dont norm post onthis site.. but I will weigh in ever so slightly... I have 2 kids on the asd (spectrum) not aspies... pddnos.. but my 11 yr old started out burst and hitting us adults around 9 yrs old... bullying was the prob at school and medication was the other- not to mention changing in their body chemestry as well... they are changing into young adults- many factors can effect these kids in ways that an average child would not seem so drastic.. they cope in so many diff ways... and we as parents must as well... we uped his therapy- we uped his counseling sessions and changed his medications (now on respidone and guanifacine ea night) both of mine does not sleep well... getting up at 6am for school didnt help either... we eventually pulled them and are not homeschooling.. stopped the bullying prob and gives the freedom to let them sleep a little longer- and stop mid day and hlp them cope w/ issues the teachers were not willing or able to help them with...
just my experience- thought I would share w/ you-
will be praying for answers for you as your family goes through this.. God bless u all... Kristine A

Leticia - posted on 08/30/2010

My son is 10 going on 11 and I am too going through the same. We have seen many DR. and Phsyciatrist and have tried pretty much everything out there as far as medication goes and nothing seems to work. My son goes to a private school for kids with Autism and behavioral issues through the school district/IEP. We live in Northern CA and my son qualified for Regional service a center for people with disabilites and they have been helping us get set up with Specialist who deal with these disabilities Neurologits/Phsyciatrist, they also set us up with a behavior specialist and he has had great. Ideas, I am currently looking into DAN "Defeat Autism NOW" and the Handle Program. I took my son off all medications and it backfired on me. Respirdal work some with his agression and until I can figure out other approaches in dealing with his disability I have no choice but to put him back on. My other 3 boys have become very resentful towards him and we are all in family counseling. also got assistance with Respid Care so I am able to go to school functions and activities with my other boys. This has been a great service to us. Hang in there be strong there is help out there.

Laurie - posted on 08/30/2010

Has your son entered puberty? I know my son was an agressive aspie but not to the level he is now that he has entered puberty.

Sarah - posted on 08/30/2010

I would highly recommend finding a developmental pediatrician or other specialist and alter his meds. Obviously they are not working. It took us about a year to find the right meds for my stepson. He is now 12 and is being mainstreamed for a couple of classes at school. Also, see if you have any social therapy groups in your area. Group therapy is very expensive but we've found it to help a lot. Good luck :(

Kerry - posted on 08/30/2010

I would ( and have) gone back to the paed and demanded that they help me get the child OFF the meds because if they dont make a dramatic difference for the better, then it isnt working or helping the child. They can communicate what is going on so we need to do it for them. There was a stage when my worst behaved of the 3, i would happily have let them inject bright green stuff if they could have promised me a less aggressive child.
I found over the years that the meds sometimes made things worse and the frustration was the trigger for the violence. My Autistic son likes to take hot showers when his agression is happening, he soon taught himself to go take a hot shower to help himself calm, and if it didnt work at least 20 mins had gone by and the situation didnt seem so drastic. I would calmly tell son to go into his room if he could not deal with a situation, or if he was not going to be calm. He soon was happy to do that as that was probably what he wanted to do (get away from the annoying people * his siblings) and didnt have the words to tell us.
OUr Paed was great and she always took my word for the meds and any side effects, Zoloft was a nasty reaction in that it removed some of sons inhibitions and he became a runaway when he couldnt deal with things. Ritalin really bought out the autism and others would make comments about son being a "re***"which caused sone to be violent. Keep a diary of actions and reactions to all meds, sometimes medication is NOT the way to go, the autism is a part of the child NOT a symptom and wont go away, try to teach your child how to deal with the way he is, such as if he doesnt want to be around people tell him he is allowed to go to his room on his own (this prevents him punching others to make them go away or take focus off himself).
Its a long road, but if you can stay calm and remember that your child is not doing these things on purpose ( he just doesnt know a better way), show him other ways to deal with his issues, and he will happily leave the room or find something to do other than hitting.
Here in Australia as Skye says, we try not to medicate. My son had become a test dummy for a lot of medications which only held short term promise and kept my sanity, by 13 he was refusing to take any meds he thought he had enough of an idea of what he was like, and he could deal with situations by leaving the room.
Take him off meds apart form a sleep helper, when they have had enough sleep the temper and tolerance is much better for them, life is not so frustrating. :) good luck i hope you find a solution that works for you :)

Deanna - posted on 08/30/2010

The Adderall XR causes agression in most kids My son has ADHD and Aspergers and we had to take him off the Adderall the agression was really bad , ask your doc to switch to a different ADHD med. My son is taking Focalin XR now and it is working well he is also on Abilify. He has a hard time with sleep and his doctor prescribed clonidine it's a Blood pressure med but the side effect if your blood pressure is fine is sleepiness. We finally found the combination that allowe dhim to be the caring child I knew and not like a zombie

Valerie - posted on 08/30/2010

We've tried Tenax, but it technically just a blood pressure medicine to lower it. He became too lethargic...even on a low dose. Did nothing for behavior.

Keri - posted on 08/30/2010

I really feel for you. My Son has started to become more aggressive towards his brothers and im at my wits end and we dont get any help at all. I have been advised about respite care and im looking into this, perhaps this might give you and your family the break you need until you can figure out your next step. Surely there is something out there for Mums like us and our boys. Also I dont know if you get this where you are but sometimes there are support groups for siblings of children with ASD, Its where children get together and are able to talk openly about there fears etc with other children who are going through the same thing. I do hope you get to see the light at the end of the tunnel soon.
Sending loads of Love and Warm Fuzzies to you XOXO

Christi - posted on 08/29/2010

My younger sister has Asperger's and it took a few different variations of medicine to find which ones worked. I believe she is on two different kinds and takes them both daily. She is a completely different littler girl. If his doc is unwilling to change his medication or increase the dosage, find yourself a new doctor that is willing to help your child. My son is autistic, but he is only 20 months, so we are not treating the behavior parts with medication just yet.

Debra Marie - posted on 08/29/2010

Try to get an order for tensix. My son has Asperger's also. It is a mood stabilizer and he has calm down 100%. No more aggressive behavior.

Valerie - posted on 08/29/2010

I'm working through a similar situation with the same age child! I can say that we discovered that his brain is not producing enough meletonin (something we all should naturally be producing), so we give him a supplement 3 mg. about 1/2 hour before bed. It has worked wonders to help him relax and fall asleep. I feel good about this decision b/c it is something natural and you don't need a prescription to test it out. Good luck!

Elizabethe - posted on 08/29/2010

I agree with Melissa I moved out of the city too and moved to a smaller town and joined a church that was very helpful. and...lol... the paster we have is A.D.D. and is so short that all the kids just love him because he is on their level. it is kinda funny but it helps alot to be apart of a small community and a church that is so understanding.

Elizabethe - posted on 08/29/2010

While I agree with Brandi on the coping skills on how to manage his behavior on your part but for him to learn to manage his behavior as well. I have my son on medication it was alot of trial and error but finally he has some way to control himself I noticed a huge change when he was changed to certain medications and placed on others that made him less agressive. my son was on vyvanse and clonidine as well as few others that seem to make him off the wall aggressive we were able to find another that helped now he is on Adderall and tenex and geodon. this combo seem to help him the most at this time as for the mental evaluation this help to access the state he is in while on certain medications that way they can keep an eye on changes that are happening as they go. We all change on a daily basis.

Michelle - posted on 08/29/2010

Yes I have done this before. The docs have a great plan. I know plenty of others children who got detox and then they start over with an evaluation and one med. Then they work until they get it right. Usually they have a solid plan that is working before they release him. I am praying for you and your family. poohbair23@hotmail.com

Melissa - posted on 08/29/2010

taking him off all is meds can be dangerous and lead to seizures. This is not a safe thing. Removing 1 med at a time to see if there is a difference is one thing, but not all at one time.

Brandi - posted on 08/29/2010

Your son is one too much medicine.. my son was put on the long acting ritalin..and Omg it made him worse..he had so bad ticks from it..he pulled out his own hair and ended up with bald spots on his head.. I took him off of them and he got so much better.. I do have him on 25mg of sertraline for his anxiety. Sometimes alot of children with aspergers problem is anxiety.

Melissa - posted on 08/29/2010

Marcy- We have seen a difference in our son with Medications to help control their impulsive behavior. I also have a 46 yr old brother with autism. I do not know where you are in the country but it helps to have a behavior specialist and to be out of the city. Children do better who have autism with a more quiet, less stressful atmosphere. Not to alienate them, but I do not believe that my older brother would still be here if we still lived in a big city. The outskirts are just so much better. Look for a specialist in Behavior modification, you will see a difference..Hugs~ praying for you..

Brandi - posted on 08/29/2010

It was probley the meds they have him on.. your son doesn't need a mental evaluation.. he needs to learn coping skill on how to manage his behavior.

Elizabethe - posted on 08/29/2010

Yes I have I had to do this to my son over the summer. He had to stay at a mental health facility. You are doing the right thing. Just make sure you keep all the records for all this because in the long run this will help him in the future to help him get better services and prevent him from being treated as a criminal when he becomes and adult. I know that it is hard to do I was so very distraught to have him commited but it helped get us back into focus and learn new things to help. email me anytime you want. elizabethedell@ymail.com