hi is there any mums out there that have a child or children with a.d.h.d./aspergers ild cerebal palsy (brain damage) heart murme learning difficulties ad behavioural difficulties as i`m loosing my mind i feel like i`m fighting an ongoing battle with my nine yr old son please help
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Kandy - posted on 01/26/2009
Hello, I can relate so much to your frustration. I have a 6 yr old with Aspergers.ADHD and behavior problems...he's gotten kicked out of daycare, off the school bus, out of after school, so it's been tough. All because he is territorial and doesn't like his space invaded or he fights whoever has taken "his" spot. We are working on him using his words more, but when impulses hit, it's very hard to control. He is on medication and it does help soooo much.
Another interesting note is that we found out he had Asperger's in 2005...in 2007 we found out that his dad has it!!!! I was shocked that I didn't see it sooner, but adults who have not been diagnosed have learned to cope with their being different than other adults, so he could adjust his behavior somewhat. Now that he is diagnosed and on meds, our family is TOTALLY different!!!!!! It is soooo exciting to have a "semi-normal" functioning family. He can relate to our youngest son so much and since he can control his own emotions better now can help my son too.
I am also taking meds for anxiety and depression. That really helps me cope...there are days when I want to pull my hair out, but others I just want to last forever. Try to find the things that your son is good at and let him focus on that. Learn to give yourself more breaks and ask for help when you need it...it's not easy, but YOU are the only Mom he will ever have...YOU are the only one that will hold him soooo close to your heart...no one else cares as much as you do, so you HAVE to take care of yourself by getting breaks in when you can...even if they are short ones.
Caroline - posted on 07/04/2012
My daughter was born 9 weeks premmie, weighed 3 pounds & 11 ounces, she had many challenges. She was not able to walk un-assisted, she needed support to sit up, drooled constantly, developmentally delayed, frequent body tremors, some seizure like episodes, kind of in a daze all the time, clenched left hand, choking on her food, speach problems, left side weakness etc. She was elevated on her toes when holding her to walk, she was splinted for a leg brace & they wanted to give her botox, but after researching botox and discovering how it’s made and there were no long term studies I decided against it. Her life was restricted & so was mine ...and it looked this way for the rest of her life ... & mine. I felt hopeless.
We were attending all sorts of treatments and therapies which cost a lot. A friend told me about some special wellness supplements from a particular company, she started taking them in her yogurt, after one week she was up walking un-assisted, it made an immense difference to her brain function, memory, balance, mood & cognition in a short space of time. I was elated!
I am so grateful to the person that told me about this incredible technology. She now has a life now ….. and so do I. It’s now over 14 yrs later and she continues to take these special nutrients, she has attended normal public schools, she is almost 16, in a few weeks she begins driving lessons and has just started an after school casual job in a fast paced food takeaway.
what sort of medication ? my son was diagnosed with a.s.d. when he was 2 he doesnt talk he has a voice he just babbles he can be very hyper and obsessive and repetative but he is also very bright and happy i have really good conection with my son im never short of cuddles but my problem is his erratic sleep pattern has any one ever had this with there children and got the better of the problem if so id love some tips
Kerry - posted on 01/28/2009
Hi claire. Ugh not a nice place to be, and as the others said, its not true. You may think that while you are feeling low, but you are the person most suitable for the job. And it is a hell of a job. (and they dont pay us enough!)
I used to sit and think of all the good things that were happening, look for a few things each day to be happy about, and each day it will get easier to find a few more things, the sunshine, the rain, thepretty birds in the back yard etc. It helps to take your mind away from its negative thoughts. Someone once said to me that "god only gives us what we can handle" and thats why Jenny next door has "normal" children, because god knew she would never be able to deal with it, and I could. ewww yeah i wanted to thump the teacher who told me that one day too, but as the years go on, it has been comfort to know that i will get through this and thigs will be ok.
Visual aids are great as trisha says, and you can choose how graphic you want each one, take a photo, cut something out of a magazine etc. My youngest son had a thing about lighting fires and playing with matches and lighters, NO amount of talking helped, we showed him burns victims and got him to talk to one young boy who had horrific scars from playing with matches, he still could not see the connection to himself. So i called the firefighters they have a program about the dangers of lighting fires and came to do this with my son. For a while i thought it was no hep, but son had started to pick up lighters and matches that were not attended by an adult, and move them to the top of the fridge, to keep them out of his reach he told me.
This made me aware of what i was leaving lying around, then one of the daily tasks was to watch a dvd with the firefighters, they showed housefires going up very quickly and burns victims with newish burns. THEN the switch came on, they showed the same story again in animations little stick figure lounge chair with the fire taking control. That made it click for my son, who has nto played with fire since. The visual catroon helped him to "see"" what would happen.
It took a while to find somethng that worked, but things do woek if you try enough of them. Taake some respite time for yourself each week so your battery isnt too drained, and remember YOU are doing a fabulous job under extreme circumstances. K
Trisha - posted on 01/28/2009
Don't give up, Claire. You'll get there, and it will be soo worth all you went through!
Have you tried visual aids to help your son realize the severity of something like running across the road? Visual is a much better tool with these kiddos, as words don't mean the same to them as they do to us. Perhaps if you had a video or a photo of someone who got hurt by a car (not to grotesque, of course), he would better understand why you don't want him to do it.
Lisa - posted on 01/28/2009
Hey Claire, i think we all feel like that at times, No one can care better than a mum, you know your son, you love your son unconditionally, you know when he is sad or when he is happy, so thats why i personally think their is no better person to care for your son than you, I know i feel like you at times, and the bad days are bad, but occasionaly he will look at me or say something and it makes it all worth while, Please try to keep positive as children can pick up on this, and it makes them uneasy too,
Claire - posted on 01/28/2009
he just dose`nt understand danger he was just told to come in for running across the road backwards and forwards it seems to be a battle getting through the day without incident
sometimes i feel that i cannot make even a small breakthrough maybe i do need to see things from his perspective but i carn`t seem to make a connection with him and i feel that he may need betterthan i can give him
Judie - posted on 01/27/2009
hello!i just wanted to say that i have a 13yr old who has adhd ocd and aspberger and is also learning disable. so i totally know what your going through. i know for us medication is helping but it is still trial and error with the medication.it is nice to know that i'm not alone when it comes to these kind of issues.if you need to talk i'm here feel free to write back.
Trisha - posted on 01/27/2009
Hi, Claire. I'm sorry to hear you're having such trouble; I hope that being able to talk to other moms will help! My son (7) has Asperger's; I was feeling the same way you were right about the time we got his diagnosis. It seemed like nothing I did worked. He would throw fits, he didn't listen, he acted like a child half his age most of the time . . . I thank God that we got the diagnosis, because I was able to find out a lot about my son's disorder and now I know that it was ME that was the problem -- I needed to learn how to deal with him in his world. I'm not trying to say that you're the problem -- just sharing my story.
What kinds of behavioral problems are you having with your son? Maybe a few of us could tell you about what worked for us.
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