Hmmmmm......aspergers or just adhd

Samantha - posted on 12/14/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My son is 10 he had a hard time in school making friends, he was pretty much labeled in kindergarden and it just got worse. some kids have come to really like him, otheres are just bullies. when Deveon gets upset or embarressed he acts out(he put clay in a kids hair when the kid called him retarded) and he gets bothered by this kid all the time. the thing is deveon has a big heart and if this kid were to "befriend" him again, i think deveon wld give him another chance! the principle says he eats really bad(with his fingers) at lunch and thats why he don't have friends....really??? Anyway just needed to vent but if anyone has any input please share...thx

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Carrie - posted on 12/17/2010

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Hello Samantha, my son is 14 and he has Asperger's Syndrome. He too has had troubles with making friends as well. He is in 8th grade but still is in special education and is only at about a 6th grade level. He does not comprehend when people are getting annoyed or angry with him because he can't read body language or facial language.

Stacey - posted on 12/17/2010

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My 6 year old son was diagnosed as ADHD in April, and now that has been changed to Aspbergers. He is also diagnosed with low muscle tone, which is the reason for his eating habits. He is in kindergarten, as a repeat, and he has an excellent paraprofessional. She just told me that I am now able to get a little more help through the school district. Oh if your school can't provide the help your child needs, there is an outside agency from the state that you can call. They are child advocates and will help you in any way possible. Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 12/17/2010

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There is always a chance of Aspergers or PDD-NOS where there is a social component to the behaviors. My son had issues from Kindergarten on, but was not diagnosed as Aspergers until the second half of 5th grade. Under IDEA (here in the US), the school is obligated to do an MFE to rule out certain things. My son's school was probably better at working towards his Aspergers diagnosis than the psychiatrist we went to see. The school had their psychologist go into the classroom and observe my son with his peers several times, and pulled him out of class for other tests. The psychiatrist flipped through 20 pages of papers she asked me to fill out...

my son has issues with eating too. I can't watch him eat, and he is 15!! He has to be told what to hold with two hands ( sandwich) and what to hold with one (crackers, cereal bars, etc). He looks like a cartoon character when he eats--he will put the food up to his mouth and take like 20 tiny bites in a row ( chewing the whole time) OR he takes a bite so big that you wonder how he doesn't dislocate his jaw.

Honestly, having been through it myself, I think you might be onto something. Spectrum kids tend to resort to violence when they get so worked up that they cannot verbally express themselves. It might be worth it to have an outside agency diagnose him, then the school just has to write the stuff into his IEP. Once my son was *known* to be violent when provoked, we wrote into his IEP that he was allowed to just get up and leave the classroom ( for the guidance office or the principal's office) if he felt the situation was too much. He also had an aide in some classes to "help with frustration and focus" and truthfully, it was a benefit to all kids in the class. She told me that although my son was her first priority, she didn't sit right next to him, waiting for him to need her--she helped other kids too.

Theresa - posted on 12/16/2010

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If it is in his IEP that he go to the spec ed tacher 2x a day, then legally they HAVE to get him there. They HAVE to provide whatever is set up in his IEP including a paraprofessional. I would make a meeting with the person in charge of his IEP and let them know if things aren't being followed like they should. As far as the video games Yes they would love to play as much as possible. i also limit to 1 hour. Homework has to be done first and grades have to be at an acceptable level for them to get their time. I keep the cord to the games system upstairs by me. They have to "rent" it from me. They come get the cords and a timer is set for 70 minutes. The extra 10 minutes gives them plenty of time to hook the cords up and take them back off afterward. They have to have the cord back in my hand before the timer rings or they lose their time for the next day. So far tat has worked well. As far as sugar, that has never really been much of a problem. Each kid has a bucket on top of the fridge that all their candy goes into. They get one thing out of it afterschool, and one thing as dessert. That's really the only time they have sweets. Sometimes a pop with pizza of as atreat if we're watching a movie. That's the way I've done candy with them since they first started getting candy, so it's not really been a problem. I do knoe caffine was something I always had to watch. They were only allowed caffine free pops. My oldest, now 14, has been able to have caffine for about a year or so now, but my younger, 11, still has to have caffine free. But definately take things up with the school and make sure that IEP is being followed. With the no child left behind act usually spec ed is the last to be cut. Plus spec ed is state funded, so they don't have to use local money for it. I don't know if you have it where you're at, but there is an organization called PACER. You can look it up, I think it's just www.pacer.org They provide FREE legal help to people whose spec ed kids aren't getting the services they need through the school. My dad is a retired principal. He said as a school they hated PACER, because of course it's basically a law suit, but that Pacer was the best if a parent really needed it. We had some issues with our school system putting our kids in spec ed (that's a whole long story). That was when my dad told me about PACER. He said to use it as a LAST resort, but to simply mention that maybe I should contact PACER to help me out. I never had to get to that point. My dad said that using PACER puts you on an oposite side, if you will, with the school. Of course that's not what you want, you want to be a team with the school. However if they refuse to hold up their end you need to do what's best for your child, even if it upsets the school. If your principal won't listen you can also make an appt with the superintendant and see if that gets you anywhere. Good luck.

Samantha - posted on 12/15/2010

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thank you for your reply, yes he does have a IEP, he is supposed to go to a Special Ed teacher twice a day to do work and take tests, but because of understaffing deveon does not get the attention he needs. he rushes through things. Does your boys play video games alot? do you watch their sugar intake? did it make a difference? Devon try to eat a lot of sugar and i try to manage it but hes sneaky..lol..and the video games i try to lower it to 1 hr, but that don't always work either.

I did email his previous counselor and she is currently trying to get some info also

thank you!

Theresa - posted on 12/15/2010

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Is he on an IEP in school? If not you should try to get him on one. If he is ask his Spec Ed teacher about social skills classes. My two oldest boys, both diagnosed ADHD and the younger of the two also has an Autism Spectrum diagnosis (PDD-NOS) bot hdid social skills calsses with their EBD (spec ed) teacher. It made a world of difference. Kids with these disorders simply don't socialize the same way a "normal" child does. It helped teach my kids the appropriate response in different socal situations. You can also ask his doc about social skills therapy. In my sons' school they were allowed to bring one friend to help them practice. They were incouraged to bring different kids. It also helped the kids to get to know and understand my sons' better. The other thing my school did was have something called lunch bunch. Onmce a week a certain group of kids would eat lunch in the EBD teacher's classroom with the teacher. Each child was allowed to invite one friend. It was also another way for kids to get to know eachother better. My younger son had some "manner issues" when it comes to eating like your son does. The lunch bunch thing helped so thatthe teacher could remind him how to eat properly. Hope some of these things help. I know how tough it can be when your child is the "odd" one. My youngest sounds a lot like yours. He has a very kind heart, but when pushed can become very angry. When Michael was being bullied on the bus I started by calling the principal. When it continued I went in to talk to her. There is no excuse for bullying and regardless of what the child does to "deserve" it (being different) the school has a legal right to not tolerate it and to protect the child. I also informed the principal about my sons tendancy to extreme anger if provoked too much. I explained that though he hadn't acted out to these bullies yet he may someday snap. My son is also very strong for his age. i explained that he may seriously hurt someone and if that happened that it would be the principal's fault for not taking care of the situation sooner. Something in all of that seemed to work because they got tougher on the bullies and he didn't have any problems through all or 5th grade and even the last half of 4th grade. Good luck and make sure you fight as hard as you can for your child. You are his best advocate.

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