How did you tell people about your child's autism diagnosis?

Anna - posted on 07/12/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My 3 year old son was diagnosed with autism about a year ago. For the first year, we really isolated our family and jumped in beginning early intervention. Now we are all in a good place with his diagnosis and where he is headed. In other words, the sun has come out and the silver lining is showing. But I realize there are still those that don't know of his diagnosis and what we have been through. Now I am wondering how to share this with family and friends, especially after this length of time. How did you tell people?

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Nadine - posted on 07/15/2011

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For my son, it's really difficult because he is so high functioning, and most people don't see any thing "wrong" or different about him, so it seems like I'm being a little intense. At first I was really shy about telling others that he had Asperger's, but after a few meltdowns and uncomfortable situations when friends were visiting our house, I've began a practice of telling everyone I knew. (This also helped with my acceptance of it as well). We recently put him into a program called Brain Balance (www.brainbalancecenters.com), and because people are so interested in it, it usually opens up the door to a good quality conversation around the topic that isn't confined to diagnosis, but more about what he deals with, how he thinks differently than us, and how we're helping him. I've noticed people have responded a lot better when you talk about the action you are taking to help your child and the accomplishments that he has made, rather than just saying that he has this or that diagnosis. Hope this helps a *little* bit. ;)

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Sara - posted on 07/18/2011

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sigh mixed with a hmm,...i have a son whos 10 who also has autism,and we just come out and told our family,friends and especially neighbors,since they would hear him scream,for no reason but his own (thinking that maybe we were in here killing him and call the cops)you just do it,theres just no avoiding it,in public meltdowns come,in stores the stares come,rude comments also come,because its not something thats outwardly shown like different shaped eyes,people assume that your child is a brat when they cant handle stimulation like we can,just let the family know to start,work your way to the friends be prepared to have a lot of questions you dont have the answers to.

Mandy - posted on 07/15/2011

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i think our children go through enoughliving with aspergers, with out the judging from others, i now hold my head high, yes he looks so normal, and being 10 now people think his our of hand, well they dont have any idea how these kids live their life which i will add is different to us,i am very proud of my son for what he is, i have done lots of work with autistic childrem and i think the ones with asperges suffer more as they are aware but see the world different to us, keep fighting all you mums, uless you live in this autism world you dont have any idea. we live in havering and have a fantastic group calles rags romford autistic group support, there you meet other arents who do understand and live the same life. if you are within havering then join. good luck to you all. mandyx

Judi - posted on 07/15/2011

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I was matter a fact with everyone and I think that all my friends knew that he was different. The people that were the hardest were the professionals like his speechie - she told me he didn't have Autism.

But tell them like you've written your question - which thoughtful, caring and real.

Mandy - posted on 07/14/2011

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i said at long last we have our diagnose and then explained to them all about my son his likes and his dislikes and am still doing it today xx

User - posted on 07/13/2011

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Hi Anna,

It was part of the day to day...going to here for his hearing, going here because he's delayed in speech, going here because he seems to have sensory issues. A big net was thrown as we tried to figure out my little guy and his issues. Along the way, I heard a lot of, well...he seems fine to me. Yeah, it's "fine" for a 2 year old to slam his head against the wall...I think I was pretty blunt by the time we were referred for ADOS testing.

He is 7 now, and is a brilliant little guy. I know what you mean about seeing the silver lining. It's a good feeling when the light begins to shine!

Sheila

Lana - posted on 07/13/2011

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I guess that depends on how much contact you have had with these family and friends over the last year. but if not a lot a suggestion i have is on the lines of something like this "sorry we have not had much contact over the last year but we have been busy as we found out that our son has autism and we were focused on getting him all the help we can that he needs." but we will try to keep in touch and keep you informed more if you would like us to. that is about the only way i can think of telling some of these ppl. as i am currently getting my almost 3yo tested at the moment but am keeping my family informed as to the outcomes of the appointments

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