How do you get an asperger's child motivated to do physical work?

Brenda - posted on 07/10/2010

The key is to use a reward system.
I know it breaks our hearts to tell our child that he/she can't play video games, computer, etc, but we do them a disservice by not enforcing some time limits. They will become more anti-social and hermit like if we don't get them to interact in and out of the home.
Instead of telling my son he has been on the comp too long I tell him its time to shut it down (in 5 min), that its time to do chores or play with something else. I use the computer time as rewards for him riding his bike, going swimming or going for a walk with us.
Start out with baby steps and build on them each day or week. Don't go full out or it won't work. Instead of putting them into a activity that they have to do everyweek. Change it up each week until you find what works. Ex. Bowling, rock climb, ice or roller skating, etc.
My son right now doesn't want to go swimming, so it the bike then. He has a choice. If he refuses he doesn't get to do the computer. He is 13 and understands. I make him come with us to eat out sometimes. Sometimes we give him the choice, but we know he would rather stay home instead, so I have to make him go with us.
If I really want him to go and he is being real stubborn about it, I will offer a treat of getting a sunday from mcd's or he can buy a movie or something else that I know will motivate him. Sometimes it just comes down to it that he just has to go, period. Stay firm but loving and give plenty of time for it to sink in. Then work him to the door and car with, put your shoes on, bring something to read or play with etc. Transistion works wonders. :)_
Hope this helps. I know not all kids respond the same, but they do like consistancy.
Brenda

Sandy - posted on 07/09/2010

This isn't going to help you at all, but this thread has helped me so much to know that I'm not alone! I have watched as my son has gained so much weight and I can't get him to do ANYTHING! I have friends and family who are always offering advice like "get him into sports", "make him get out and play", "keep him off his video games". I feel horrible b/c I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. I try to get him to do things and he just does not have an interest in anything other than video games and making things out of clay! We started going to karate and that lasted for about a month before he got tired of it and didn't want to go anymore.
I want to find something to help him, but I don't know what. He just has no desire to do anything physical.

Brenda - posted on 07/08/2010

I agree with Kristen. I find when I tell my 13 yr old son that he has to do this before he can do that, it works most of the time. He used to be real active, swimming, biking, etc. Now he just wants to play on the computer. We use it as a reward when he has done all his chores and rode his bike or went swimming. I do give him choices, you have to do this or that to be able to go on the computer. Summer is the worst, on the days he is home alone, he will stay on the computer all day, so we put limits on it. Then when we get home it activity time. :) Be firm and stick to the plan, he will come around. I know I find myself giving in at times instead of being firm, this just makes it harder to keep him active.
Good luck and God Bless :)

Alison - posted on 07/05/2010

hi im new to this .im a mum of four and the oldest boy is 15 he was told he had aspergers in december.i never thought it would be so hard .we are with different groups and cant get him to go to any all he wants to do is play on his games .he is godd with hi brothers and sisters most of the time but his downers are bad.he is so lazy and doesnt want to do any think .he says he is happy doing what he is doing.he also suffers form social anx i dont no what to do .all the autisim groups seem to do is push him witch makes him worse.can any help with any ideas please

Kristen - posted on 10/23/2009

My stepson, Austin, is the same way. There are times when we can get him to do things without asking, but that is rare. With the support groups and meetings that his grandparents have been attending to assist with his condition, they state that you have to not ask them, they have to be told what to do at all times. At least that is the way it is with Austin. The only time that he wants to do anything on his own is video games.



From what my father-in-law has noticed, Austin may have to be told to do things all the time, but once he begins doing it, he will eventually enjoy doing it. There has to be a set routine with Asperger's kids. They don't like change of routine or anything. Even rewarding them in some way helps. Not necessarily with a treat or anything like that; but try a toy or letting them pick the next meal or movie. Little things like that seem to help a lot with Austin.

Rachel - posted on 10/23/2009

Similar situation here... my 9 yo would play video games all day long if I let him.
Scheduling works well for us. Every day after school he goes outside to play. His choice - ride bikes, play 'war' with the neighbor kids, shoot hoops, something...
After he plays, he does homework. only after his chores and physical activity are done can he play video games. it's his daily reward. When we ground him, it's for the rest of the day - no video games. If he violates that, he loses another day. Very effective!
On non school days, we set a timer. One hour video games, then he has to do something else. It was hard at first but now that it's his routine, it's great.

Marianne - posted on 10/23/2009

I feel for you. My son with AS is 15. In my experience a lot of kids AS do not like to do activities unless they feel they know what they doing or are good at it. They want to do what they like. What they do well. I would watch him. Allow him to try different things as they come up. Let things go that do not interest him. When you find things that he does show an interest in embrace them even if to you they may not be exactly what you were hoping he would like. Mine went through a chubby stage. He was into video games and working on the computer doing animations and such. Then all the sudden around 12 he started to be aware of him self. We had started talking about health and diet with him. Showing him books about eating right and exercise. Talking about being healthy. It does seem to have sunk in with him. He still does not like group sports but does go for runs and exercise regularly. He is even getting into caring about what he wears. Im truly amazed at how far he has come in the past few years. Good luck to you and yours. :)

Lisa - posted on 10/22/2009

I wish I knew. I have a 15 yr old couch potato, who last winter gained 70 pounds due to medication and won't do anything about it. 'well he is now back in martial arts and once a week comes home drenched in sweat and worn out. He has a membership to the Y including the SMB room (equipment room) which he is supposed to go use three days a week but only wants to play pool when he gets there. He does walk dogs for the Humane Society 2 days a week (10-15 dogs each time) We're working on it slowly so as not to cause his to shut down completely

Kelly - posted on 10/22/2009

My son is also 10 and has Aspergers and doesn't want to do anything except play video games. You just can't force the issue. When it comes to doing chores or interacting with the family, I try to keep his mind engaged in things he's interested in. Keep a conversation going or play word games with him while he is doing repeitive work. If he is anything like my son, when his mind is active, then the physical work will not overburden him.

Gina - posted on 10/22/2009

We have the same problem, to a similar degree. If I ask my son if he wants to play chess with me, do a puzzle, etc. he almost always says no. I've found that if I accept his 'no' as if its no big deal, then engage myself in that activity anyway, he tends to join me pretty shortly - and only because he truly wants to. We end up having a great time. Play around with this and see what works for your son, hopefully this idea will help you.