Confirmation email resent to

how to see the signs of aspergers!!!!!!!!!!!

Janice - posted on 04/15/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )




my girlfriends son may have aspergers the school says he does what are the signs!!!!!

thanks janice


[deleted account]

Around 7 years old, the aspie child begins to stand out. If he/she plays with other children, he is often rejected from the group either from being too passive, too aggressive or too rude. There may be signs of extremes in the class room, too "stuck in his own world," too talkative, too untalkative...he may be shy, he may be overly outgoing. He is often beginning to feel bullied, rejected and teased. He may have friends but he may not get along well. He may be left to play alone all together.

This is coming from a mom who has asperger's. When I was 7 the children at school avoided me completely because they said I was too rude. There was one girl who wanted to be my friend, but I wasn't good at sharing her with other girls, so she started to avoid me as well, telling me that her parents said I was not a good friend. I was teased frequently, specifically by one boy. I didn't pay attention in class because I didn't realize the reason I was there. I was an advanced reader and speller but placed in the beginning group due to too much talking. I didn't talk to people much out of conversation, I just sang, quoted and echoed stuff all the time. On the play ground I played alone because people didn't want to play with me. Sometimes I would cry and a girl would feel sorry for me and play with me. Don't let anyone tell you that if he is interested in sports, he doesn't have asperger's syndrome. I played softball for years. Deep down, I didn't want to play it with the other children, but there was something I liked about pitching the ball and hitting it. Eventually I dropped out of it. I also became the type to stay in the lunch room or head to the library, so that my brother wouldn't tease me after school about not having any friends.

Aimey - posted on 04/20/2009




dear ladies,

my son is undiagnosed but i am fairly certain that he is an example of at least a moderate or mild case of asperger's syndrome.

i have always , from the time he was very young, maybe 2 , known that he was unique.

he knew exactly when it was time for a nap and would get his blanky and stand at the base of the stairs and wait for me to notice him there so i would put him to bed. he was very sensitive toward me and wanted the same things to happen each day; read the same book every time i rocked him, sing the same songs etc.

if i said we were going to the church, and i had to stop at the store, he would begin to panic when i turned down a different road than the one which he knew led to the church.

he would even work himself into tears as he argued that we had to go to the church!

he does have friends but most of his best friends are much younger than he is. the kids he plays with who are his own age tell him he is wierd, stupid and retarded. sometimes when they call him names like "newb" he thinks they are just being friendly and he laughs and keeps playing with them. he doesnt understand that hostile behavior from other boys his age means they dont want to play with him and sometimes he thinks that they are just playing with him. once, a boy punched him in the face and though it upset him very much at the time and he didnt understand why the boy did it, he later said that the boy was his friend and he still wanted to play with him. he sais that the boy just does that sometimes and that he doesnt mean it.

he obsesses over legos, and lego games and lego creations to the extent that several times he has asked if i would remove all of the toys from his room except his legos.

he only wants legos.

if his clothes are too sctratchy, too rough, have a tag that rubs, or just dont fit him quite right it drives him up a wall. if his food is too cool, too hot, too soft, too salty, too plain, mixed up too much, or not the brand of milk he expected he doesnt merely refuse to eat it but he struggles to eat it and is distressed about the fact that i am making him eat it.

most of the things i am listing sound, even to me, like regular "touchy kid syndrome" of which all kids suffer, but some kids really do have an extreme version of this and i belive my son is one of them.

the reason i see the distinction is just this one thing.

i recall going through the same thing as a little girl, and i always knew i was different, but i just didnt know what was wrong with me.

i think most or all asperger's syndrome children feel exactly like i did and i know that is how my son feels. he has told me so. he knows he is different than other boys his age.

one more thing

he reads extrememly well and is very intelegent, but for some reason, he cannot spell very well at all and untill the last part of this year his handwriting was so poor i would not have truly called it handwriting. ( he is 9 years old) he now writes about as well and my daughter did when she was only 5 or 6.

and im telling you he really tries. this may be the reason that many asperger syndrome children have trouble with homework or any written assignments. the attention span required to complete it in aggreement with the writing and spelling required may just be an over whelming challenge to some.

i had no trouble with writing or spelling but i suppose that is just how it is with people and thier differences, some will have areas that they struggle with , where others just dont have a problem with that same area and so it is hard for us to understand why.

ask him or her if they can tell you how they feel and why they have trouble with thier work. you may be surprised to find out that they DO know alot more about thier weaknesses than we give them credit for.



Crisanne - posted on 04/19/2009




my son as aspergers and i didn't find out tell he was 8 years old when i took him in for a screening and a bunch of testing and thats what they found out.but the first signs are not being able to sit still and focus on any one thing for a every long time. also routine they have to have things in their way if you change anything with out letting them know it will throw them off same thing all the time at the same time always tell the kids whats going to change ahead of time so the day goes smoothly i know i have had so many melt downs over the years and now my son is 14. I hope this will help

Jocelyn - posted on 05/07/2013




When my son was almost 2 he had to go live with my mom for awhile because I couldn't financially care for him. Ironically, not even a week later my ex-husband and I found out I was pregnant with number 2. After 6 months of my son being gone, I returned to go get him. by the time I was 8 months pregnant, we were all moving to my mom's. Within a month of moving, his sister was born. At that point, my son was still your typical boy...he started walking the week before he turned one and had been running around ever since. Now, we are onto joey's 3rd year. His sister was sick all the time, in and out of the hospital until she was about 4. So, for 3 years I gave his sister, not trying to, more attention than him, and while all that was going on, their father and I were divorcing and I was living on my own. I remember when he was that old, I couldn't keep him still. Now when he got mad or upset it was severely mad and upset. He would throw things across his room, or he would bang his head up against the wall or try to hurt people. I remember having to hold him for what seemed like hours to get him to stop. I also remember him climbing all over the place, he would hide in cabinets, and climb up on the counter tops, and he would even climb in and out off his crib when he had first learned to walk.

Okay, so now you have the basic background, on to the HX of medical conditions...

At 5 yrs old, he was put on ADERRALL XR for a total of 3 years, slowly increasing the dosage, until he would throw such severe tantrums that his medication was changed completely and refer to a psychiatrist started.
Each psychiatrist we had gone to made us go through an intake appointment, and then once we got to the psychiatrist, it was an automatic ADHD with a 3 minute appointment to write the prescription after asking a few routine questions. Although we did have one who said that he has OCD and Mood Disorders in addition to the ADHD, but has never been treated for any of that.
So we started to just get his medication filled by his PCP.
After we received a letter recently from his insurance company stating his psychiatrist was out-of-network we called and made an appointment with a new one. His appointment is coming up on Monday. After doing research on all of his problems, he seems to me to have Asperger's syndrome instead of all these other diagnosis.
He has Tantrums
He Runs around like crazy when I can get him outside....Going outside is a whole other issue
He is severely afraid of bugs,
and when he gets on a subject that he enjoys, it's constant trying to learn everything about it.
He thinks that even though people are mean to him, they are still his friend, or one day his friends with someone and the next he's not.
and, I love him to death, but he will stand there and talk to you while he has one leg wrapped around the other.

A few months ago he even started stuttering, when his medication was increased to high. Needless to say, he was switched again. He is now on Concerta 18MG and Risperidone 0.25mg which are very low doses and so I am just now noticing all the things he does. He was so overly medicated on all the other medications he was tried on that we didn't notice many behavioral differences.

He does not perform well in the public school setting and after repeated attempts to get help from the school, we have given up on them. We would constantly go to the school and request help. We were told, oh he just has ADHD and we have no services for that, most kids have ADHD now a days. When we brought documentation from his psychiatrist showing all of his other problems, we were told, oh he performs average with the rest of his class. That his B's and C's and barely passing the FCAT are fine with them. The problem is, and I know most parents say it, but it's so true with my son, that he is better than those grades. I see him at home constructing robots and sculptures out of an erector set, and drawing blue prints for a car he wants Nissan to make. He can watch how to draw a character or how to fold Origami and be able to do it in no time. For ten years old, we believe that he is very intelligent, but when even asked if they could perform and IQ test, he was never given one.

I apologize for rambling on, but I really want to know if you all think I am crazy for thinking he has Asperger's Syndrome or if you all think it really is something I should pursue with the new psychiatrist.

Yolanda - posted on 04/19/2009




I have a son who is 8 years old we just got him diagnosed and it wasnt easy! I have been saying something was wrong since he was 18mos old. Tell your friend to go to a nuerologist and tell them she wants an ADOS it is a test for aspergers/autisim. If they refuse keep going until they do! For some reason Dr.s are stubborn and you end up diagnosing your own child. My son was 18 months when I realized that maybe he wasnt just a clingy mamas boy. Maybe its not because he was early. So I took him to the Dr and they said maybe he will grow out of it. And he never did it only seemed to get worse. He never let anyone do anything for him but me not even his dad I couldnt work I tried once and his dad would have to bring him to me because he would stand at the top of the stairs screaming for me until he couldnt breath. He would kick and bite if his dad or grandma tried to calm him so they brought him to me. No one could put his shoes on get him dressed only me he couldnt or wouldnt do it himself. Nothing I did was right he would freak out on me its too tight too loose not the right color wrong material or itchy and why cant you do anything right mom? He had a certain way he wanted everything done but he never clued me in on it he just thinks that this is the right way and I'm trying to kill him becasue I cant understand that.Preschool he did ok until one day he hid under the desk and the teacher told me to come get him because he was screaming for mommy and would kick at her if she came near him Shortly after that he was pulled out of preschool and stayed with me. Then he went to kindergarden he did fabulous in school I thought maybe the problem was me at that point until 1st grade when the teacher said something about him not going at the speed everyone else did he refused to participate in school the rest of the year basicaly just sat in class and she wasnt very understanding she picked him apart and I couldnt switch teachers too late in the year I was told so I stood in the hall way wacthing and jumping in when I felt like he needed me. Then second grade he did great struggled a lil with reading and making friends and misreading cues but most of his struggles were at home and with socializing. I got a child phsycologist at this point to try to help me handle the rage fits that he threw. It helped some but he still was struggling making friends and playing with kids his own age he struggled with maturing like his peers. Third grade I had enough I had been to every dr and therapist and it was me and my computer who diagnosed him in the end! I took him to a pediatrician to get a referral which I told her I think he has aspergers he isnt progressing right and told her all of my concerns which was hard because forever I thought it was me or it was that he was born early or because of my divorce or I babied him or on and on so I just told her everything and then we went to a nuerologist the first one was an idiot! He told me that I should put him on prozac maybe that will calm him down??! Are you serious? So I gave up for about 5 minutes and then dusted myself off and took him to another one who asked a series of questions about his developement over the years and then said an ADOS was what Alec needed so he had the test which seems useless at the time its just questions about developement and speech and language and then I got the call ASPERGERS syndrome........ I was floored I knew it all along after all the reading I did on the computer and the years I knew that his behavior wasnt just normal toddler or normal kidd stuff but hearing those words was like having someone ripp my heart out!! I wanted to blame me! Now what do I do with this how do I help him? LOVE! UNDERSTANDING! and PATIENCE!!! Because when it is all said and done its up to the parent because sadly these drs have you in their office for 10 minutes and know nothing!!!!! So tell your friend to stay on it and research so she knows the right questions to ask and the right test to ask for! Stay on her childs school get documented proof of what they think and take it to the dr along with the childs developement history like when he/she first walked talked etc and she should be good!!! Hope this helps.


View replies by

User - posted on 05/10/2013




yes def pursue my son went through school not diagnosed u really hav a son with aspergers many hard days ahead many blessings also u take the good days with the bad my hubby was diagnosed last summer at 51

Faith - posted on 04/16/2009




My 13 year old used to have friends that started disappearing after 3rd grade. Now, we have to work with a counselor on how to make friends. His middle school even tries to match him up with other kids where their issues could help each other out?! He doesn't follow through on all of his assignments though. I can definitely say that my son behaves like yours Sarah on the bipolar looking meltdowns and obsessing until burned out.

Sarah - posted on 04/16/2009




kids with aspergers have basically the same symptoms as a child with autism....just not as many and not as severe. My oldest son has PDD-NOS and it was not diagnosed until 11 years old. He is actually very friendly and outgoing, but gets along with adults better than other kids. He was a late talker, but had a very mature vocabulary. He had bi-polar looking meltdowns starting at like age 2-3 years old. He tends to obsess over things until he burns out on them. For example he will play the same gameboy game exclusively until he gets a new one, then play the next one. He even has given his "old" games away to his sister ( "I have pokeman grass green now, so I don't need the gold version anymore").

Fiona - posted on 04/15/2009




It might be.  Get your girlfriend to check with the school.  If the school has done some testing, they ought to be able to tell her what is what.  However, if they just think her son might have AS, she should still speak with his class teacher or the school counsellor to see what should be the next step.


Janice - posted on 04/15/2009




her son is 11 years old, he does have no friends at all he does not have any friends over

he goes every where with his mother,w hen you tell him to do somthing he get angry,

he hums when he is in a group of people at the dinner table, he cries when he gets a scrap, i could go on and on, does this sound like asbergers to you?

thanks so much janice

Fiona - posted on 04/15/2009




Telling parents that there is an issue with their child then not elaborating annoys me madly!  Your girlfriend should have been given some information as to WHY the school believes her child as AS.  Depending upon his age, there could be many reasons - most of them simply because he is who he is and there's no neurological issue to worry about - why alarm bells have started to ring at school.

However, considering US schools are generally very good at this stuff, there must at least be some basis.  Usually it's a direct behavioural thing - such as the way he interacts with his peers, or perhaps his processing isn't quite what it ought to be in the classroom.  The latter was the first thing I noticed where my son was comcerned.

Because we don't yet know what causes Autism, it's still hard to say exactly what the early signs are.  Some people believe if you catch Autism early it can be 'cured' - I am not one of those people - however knowing what sort of thing to look out for means early intervention can be put into place.  The inability to connect with the neuro-typical (NT) world is the general foundation of it all, and this can manifest itself in a variety of ways.  Classic Autism can mean a person may always be in their own world, whereas Asperger's can mean a person simply sees the world a little differently but functions as well as any NT person.  There is a myriad of variants in between, of course.

Typical signs for this child (depending on his age) might be:

not picking up on social cues in the playground

not processing information - especially verbal - as quickly as other children in the classroom

having an over-riding obsession over one topic/colour/food/TV show/etc.

stimming (repetitive behaviour, verbally or physically)

walking on tip-toes or running in a peculiar way

having a monotonous vocal range, or a high-pitched voice when other children's are lowering

There are other things, but not all of them are common, at least not to the 'naked eye', do to speak.


Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms