How to stop bad tantrums that can last for hours.

Debbie - posted on 11/27/2009

My son starting raging around 3. They could last for hours and we both ended up exhausted. The other replies have given you some great advice. I would add one thing that really worked for my son. He now takes a blood pressure med called Tenex. When kids rage, their blood pressure shoots up and adrenaline spikes, which is why they are so strong during a rage. The Tenex helps prevent the spike in blood pressure. It has been a big help for my son. It probably does 80% of the work of keeping his temper down and I tell him that the other 20% is his job. He has been on it for 2 years now and it definitely made a huge difference.

Jan - posted on 11/11/2009

First things first the tantrums: I have two with asper & ADHD & ODD and when they go off they let fly.What I do is put them on their bed and let them go for it but if they get too upset then I go in and cool them down and talk closely to their ear and softly and tell him it's okay you can cry and let it all out and then when he starts to calm down you as him to do some deep breathing slowly in and out and that will calm him down and then tell him you can come out when you have calmed down and got rid of Mr Cranky and stroking the forehead helps also.Try that it may take a while but stick with it.Now for getting him into a routine: write up a morning routine of when he wakes up and then exactly what he is expected to do or you want him to do and if he can't read use picture and velcro so after he has done that job he takes it off and puts it in a container.So then you move on to what he is going to do at every hour of the day from sun up to bed time.I know it sounds alot and yes it is but you will find that he will settle into it after a week and start telling you what he has to do.Also give a reward with say gold stars or stickers for after his morning routine,mid morning to lunch routine,school routine,etc....But the big thing is you must stick to it as any sudden change will set him off.If there is a deviation from the routine tell him every hour wht you will be doing and then as it gets closer use a calendar also so he can cross it off so he is well prepared for the change in routine.Always take his favourite toys or colouring in books with him incase he gets nervous or uncomfortable.Don't hover or fuss so much over him also as you are invading his space which is uncomfortable for him......I hope this gives you some ideas and help as I know what you are going through.Best of luck and try and stick with it as it will get hard.......

Sue - posted on 11/10/2009

I have been thru this with my grandson (who I have custody of) he has Aspergers and would get very violent. Hit me, his papa, himself, pound the walls, slam doors repeatdly to the poin the walls would crack, the frame crack. He has excellent verbal skills but it didnt help, all he would do is repeat himself over and over.. nothing I could say or do would calm him down.



Holding him made it worse. We had to take everythign out of his room except his bed to keep him safe, and just let him have his melt down..all byhimself because I was tired of getting hit . They dont know how to handle their tempers, their fears take over and its out of control most times.



We took him for counseling over a yr ago and it helped so much. They gave him some skills to use, and just confirmed what I had been telling him that the behaviour was not good to do. He went from having meltdowns every hour to once a week.. we are now down to about one a month. Now I can see it coming on and distract him with something else and advert a big one.



Maybe your doctor can send you to a specialist that can help with some counceling? But I would suggest not restraing him, it seems to make it much worse and time outs never worked for me, I tried for months. Try giving him a safe room and just walking out and letting him melt till he feels calm enough to come back out and join the rest of the family. Austic children need consistancy even more than reg kids. routines are a must since change seems to set them off sometimes the simplist thing like moving his toys, do the same thing every day at the same time and he will feel safe and comfortable and not so stressed out. Keep your requests simple, not a bunch of words, praise him alot when he does something right .



I used a piece of construction paper and marker and just put times down one side, hour by hour and something to do next to it. For example, my gr/son got up the same time every day so at 8am i wrote "eat breakfast" at 9am I wrote get dressed,brush teeth, do hair and so on and so forth untill it was bed time . Grocery day was Friday and that got written in too, cause once he started reading in kindergarten he would tell ME what was next on the list to do..lol Hang it on the fridge in plain site.



If you do this and stick to the schedule you will notice a difference. If you can find a daycare center or another school, he needs to be in a setting with other children so he can be socialized, since this is a big issue with Aspergers children. I cant believe that the school refused to continue to teach him.. I didnt think they were allowed to do that?



Im lucky that my gr/son enjoyed going to school and the routine that they had there so he was well behaved while he was at school,, except for some OCD and ADHD traits creeping in, but the teachers and their assistants were great at keeping him focused. In the 4yrs he has gone to school he only had 2 meltdowns where they didnt know what to do and I had to go get him. Thats exceptional seeing how he would have meltdowns at home during summer vacations that would last for hours on end. He is 8 and its getting better the older he gets.

All the best to you...