I am looking for moms to chat with regaring my son...he has aspergers syndrome.

Anndrea - posted on 10/23/2008 ( 53 moms have responded )

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Our family has problems dealing with my son's behaviour re: aspergers syndrome.

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Nicole - posted on 06/18/2012

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My son was recently diagnosed at the age of 8. He is doing ABA therapy and it helping us all. I recommend it.

Christine - posted on 02/03/2009

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Hi, my step-son is 14 and is diagnosed with PDD-NOS/Aspergers. We really have struggled with him and my husband and his exwife also struggled and finally gave up. His father and I have tried different forms of interventions that have noticed a great difference in Tyler's behavior in the past year. Please, any of you that want to chat please add me as a friend because I know it can be frustrating and I am available for mom's to just vent, seek advice or whatever. I know that I need an "outlet" at times and would love to have some friends to talk to who are struggling with the same things I am.

Jill - posted on 11/06/2008

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Kerry - Applied Aehavioral Analysis - ABA - the intent is to increase skills in language, play and socialization, while decreasing behaviors that interfere with learning. The results can be profound. Many children with autism who have ritualistic or self-injurious behaviors reduce or eliminate these behaviors. ABA was developed by psychologist Ivar Lovaas, PhD. I am an ABA therapist in IL working under Dr. Anne Maxwell who worked with Dr. Lovaas. There are many different methodologies in ABA and the method we use is know as discrete trail. ABA can be used on children of any age but the younger the better. As for finding an ABA therapist in your area I would suggest looking into what is available on the internet. Or if you tell me where you are I can ask around to see if anyone has any suggestions.

[deleted account]

Hi Anndrea,

I am the stepmom of a 24 year old with Aspergers. He was 3 1/2 when his dad and I started dating, and we were married just after he turned 5 1/2. One of the most important things we ever did was get into a support group of other parents with children who have autism/aspergers. I commend you for getting on this group, actually all of you out here! There was just nothing like this when my stepson was younger. We went through the gammit of outbursts, rages, manipulative and repetetive behaviors. IEP's counselors, psychiatrists.. Unfortunately we weren't able to try any dietary changes because of his limited sensory capacity...he just couldn't handle different food than a very few he would eat. It's amazing now, he eats hamburgers! The divorce situation with his mom really complicated the process of working with him and the schools (yes, multiple schools! One would try, couldn't handle him after a while move him to the next one in the district...on and on) but my husband would never give up. For a while in his early teens he had to go to a lockdown facility because the rages were so bad. It was the worst emotional time in our life, yet he learned some of the most important life skills he will ever have: recognizing when the rage feelings start so he can separate himself from a situation and go calm down. For years he was on Ritalin, now he is on a combination of antidepressants and supplements with Melatonin to keep his sleep schedule on track. He lives in a supervised group home, is even holding a part time job at a grocery store and navigates his way to and from work, the library, the music store and other approved locations on the city transit system alone. He stays the weekends with us often to visit his brother and sister, and he lets us know when he needs a break from us all, and goes to his room to play his electric guitar. I know that although he feels a certain sense of independence, he also has frustrations about the limitations the syndrome cause him, his inablity to drive, have lasting relationships, be treated like an adult, etc. In spite of the challenges that still face him every day, we are truly thankful and sometimes still amazed after everything that we went through with him that his life is going so well. There is HOPE!

Donna - posted on 10/30/2008

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My son, Jon, now 20, was diagnosed with Aspergers and ADD when he was 7.. he's a bright kid..even earned a state scholarship to college (he's excellent in math)... but dropped out 2 months later because he couldn't handle it. he has now been working part time at Dunkin Donuts for 3 years. I don't know if he'll ever get a "real" job.

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Katrina - posted on 06/19/2012

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My son is 3 and a half and diagnosed with Evolving Aspergers - unfortunately it seems to just be getting worse, hence the diagnosis. I'm a single mum with two kids. My oldest is 11 and she has ADHD and Anxiety, and finds it hard to deal with her brothers' behaviour.

@Robyn Wallace, he's not hit puberty, obviously, but we have many issues surrounding people's personal areas and his own. I have no idea how to combat this. All I can manage is to remind him about appropriate behaviour. I use the word "hands" as an instruction. It's a quick way - and he knows what I expect - to tell him to stop. Not sure that would help with an older child though.

Like a few others' have mentioned, I too feel awful when I get overwhelmed and not keep my cool as I should. After all, it's not his fault he has these difficulties, but what's difficult for the child is difficult for us too. Not just because of the challenging behaviours, but the affect it has on our family and also to see them struggle is hard. :(

User - posted on 06/15/2012

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Hi, I just saw your post. I have Aspergers myself and I also have a young son with autism. I have met many people with AS also. If I can be of any help to you then please contact me. You might also find my FB page helpful. I write a lot about AS and ASD among other things. Best, Mary. https://www.facebook.com/#!/mary.kellygodley.

User - posted on 06/06/2009

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I would love to chat with families dealing with Aspergers. Our son is going to be 19 in Sept and we have been through so much over the years. I wish I had known when he was little what I know now. One important thing for me...weekly therapy. I wouldn't give it up for anything.

Christine - posted on 02/16/2009

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Beth, I totally understand what you are saying about loving your child but also the fact that it is a living hell at times. I feel the same way. Often I feel guilty but I get so frustrated and overwelmed that I just feel like I am going to explode. I love our son but he is a LOT of work. When he is home, I have no opportunity to accomplish anything. My son is 14 so he should be able to be independent and do things (and he can.. he is high functioning) but instead he follows my husband and I around all over the house. :-) That is just one of the things that drive me crazy! Feel free to email me or chat anytime.. I always have an ear to listen and of course would love to have someone to vent to on occasion as well!

Apps+8278986302 - posted on 02/16/2009

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I'm in, too. Our son, 5 1/2, has has a series of diagnoses and I'm so glad to have found this group, if only to vent and have people who won't judge and who will understand both how much we love our kid and what a living hell it can be raising him.

Jenny - posted on 02/06/2009

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Talk away we are all in the same boat and hopefully we can give you some advice

[deleted account]

I see that this is an old posting but I have a 5 year old son with aspergers.



I would love to chat



Nicole

Robin - posted on 02/05/2009

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I am a single mom of a 10 year old daughter with Asperger's. She is now entering puberty. She takes Adderall XR. I thought that amphedamines were supposed to dampen the dopamines. ( In other words, I thought her meds would squash her "sexual desires".) She is very curious about her parts and want to see others' parts. How has anyone else dealt with Asperger's and puberty?

Jodi - posted on 02/04/2009

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Hi! I may be in the wrong group, since my son is 17 and only mildly afflicted. He has some very odd social behaviors, but most of the kids in his high school are nice to him. Our problem is that he is old enough for a drivers' liscence but just can't manage all the stuff he is suppposed to be doing when driving. He still thinks he wants to try again, but I think this may be one thing that his disability will make impossible. How do I break this to him?

Jennifer - posted on 02/04/2009

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Hi! My son has been diagnosed with high functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder- I beleive that he has Asperger's- I have also wondered about Tourette's syndrome due to his very repetative motor behaviors and speech- what does your son do in relation to the Tourette's and how did you get the diagnosis? Thanks for your time!!

-Jen and Merlin

M - posted on 02/03/2009

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HI PLEASE ADD ME AS A FRIEND I HAVE 2 CHILDREN AND HAVE BEEN FIGHTING 4 8YRS 4 BOTH OF THEM AND STILL TRYING TO GET A STATEMENT FOR MY OLDEST THEY THINK FINALLY HAS ASPERGERS HE IS 13 MY YOUNGEST IS 8 AND I AM GOVENOUR AT HIS SPECIAL SCHOOL I AM HAPPY 2 TALK WITH U OR ANY1 ELSE EXPERIENCING SIMILAR ISSUES : )

[deleted account]

Quoting Anndrea:

I am looking for moms to chat with regaring my son...he has aspergers syndrome.

Our family has problems dealing with my son's behaviour re: aspergers syndrome.



mY SON HAD SEVER ISSUES WITH BEHAVIOR HE IS ON MANY MEDS,YOU CAN EMAIL ME PRIVATELY IF YOU WOULD LIKE tbaaernst@juno.com

April - posted on 02/02/2009

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Have you experienced any Sensory Processing Disorder along with the Aspergers?

Alanna - posted on 11/06/2008

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Hi there, My family especially my parents, have issues with my sons behaviours. It puts extra strain on you as a parent as you often fell so caught in the middle. If there is any behaviours in particular I can help with please feel free to ask....???

Lori - posted on 11/06/2008

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Hi- My son is 9 and dx with Asperger's since age 4. We have seen a lot of behaviors and tried all types of therapies & meds too. I would love to chat.

Nora - posted on 11/06/2008

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Our son has Aspergers and is now 10. We've had a rough ride , but feel like we've finally connected with the services and education we need to help him now. I'd be happy to talk.

Christie - posted on 11/05/2008

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My son is 7 years old. At 4 years old we were told he has asperger syndrome. If you would like to talk let me know.

Christie - posted on 11/05/2008

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My son is 7 years old. At 4 years old we were told he has asperger syndrome. If you would like to talk let me know.

Angel - posted on 11/05/2008

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Hi, my son is going to be 15 soon. Was diagnosed with Asperger's and Tourette's around 9 but started Special Ed. at 3 with the suspicions of Autism among other things. I would like to say, that no matter what the "symptoms" are of any diagnosis, each child is different with their own personality. So we not only get to figure out how to deal with the issues brought on by Autism or Asperger's or Tourette's.. but also the every day issues of dealing with kids.. lets face it.. kids are not easy when they don't have some "diagnosis". It takes patience to handle a "normal" child.. and it takes just a little bit more to handle the issues our kids with AS and Autism. Share some of the problems that you and your family having, maybe we have shared some of the same ones.

Pam - posted on 11/05/2008

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. My son is one of those that was diagnosed at a later age. He was 13 and by then he had been labled the "bad kid". He actually was a really great student until the 4th grade when he was tired of being picked on because he was different. Instead of trying to deal with the problem he tried to hang himself on the playground at school, with other kids pulling on the rope. I came to the school later that day and found the marks on his neck. When I asked him what happened his reply was, " I was just giving them what they wanted." He told me some of the kids had actually told him to kill himself. I knew at that point that he had something that I couldn't help him with by myself. He was hospitalized for a few weeks but the therapist he was seeing made everything out to be my fault. I felt a lot of guilt because of this person even though I knew Id not done nothing wrong. It was a few years later that I had become friends with a girl who was a therapist at a local mental health clinic. She recognized some symptoms that my son was having and arranged for him to be tested. She also arranged for him to have a mentor therapist. (The best thing that ever happened to my son.) He was then diagnosed with chronic depression, ADHD, and Bi Polar disorder.

We worked a couple years with that diagnosis, but his therapist and myself felt that we were missing something. One day I was talking to another parent at school whose son has Aspergers and started realizing a lot of the similarities the boys had. I then talked to his therapist who was actually thinking the same thing I was. We then arranged for him to have a neuro-pshyc eval. He was diagnosed a very high functioning Aspergers. The difference this diagnosis made was amazing. The schools then were able to understand more what he was going through thus, causing a big change for him.

I suggest to anyone that has a child with this illness look into mentor therapy. It is not like your everyday clinical setting therapy. This is actually done within your home. It's just like having a big brother that your child can talk to. His therapist will come to the house and talk to me, and then him and my son will go get a coke and just talk. My son is able to talk to him about anything. He has a special relationship with this person. He makes himself available 24 hours a day. If my son needs to talk all he has to do is pick up the phone. He is very comfortable with this. After their conversations, quite often, the therapist and my son will come and talk to me and let me know what the problem is. Before my son would just bottle it all up leading to an eventual explosion. I don't know what we would do without the therapist and the medications that he is on.

Kristi - posted on 11/01/2008

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My 8 year old son was just diagnosed this fall with high functioning autism/asperger's and seizure disorder NOS. The main behaviors we've dealt with since he was about 3 1/2 is tantrums- biting, hitting, kicking, screeching. As I've been learning things I've implemented a schedule in the home and been trying different approaches. Hang in there. I'm looking at dietary approaches next. And medication when I can get in to see the doctor.

Kay - posted on 11/01/2008

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Hi, I am Kay. My husband and I are raising our 7 year old grandson who has aspergers. He has had many issues also. Maybe I can give some advice on things we have done. How old is your son, and what are his worst behaviors?

Kay - posted on 11/01/2008

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Hi, I am kay. My grandson that we are raising is 7 and has Aspergers. We have delt with many behaviour problems with him. Maybe I can help. How old is your son?

Lori - posted on 11/01/2008

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My son is in Grade 11 in a modified program and in an amazing school...my suggestion if the school isn't supportive and if at all possible switch schools...We did in grade three and thanks to an amazing teacher found some of the help that was needed...GIve him the space he needs to be safe and to go when everyone is over stimulized. (not sharing a room is the first key!) I thought I was alone and responsible...we went to therapy...we had foster children because I thought that being a only child he was spoiled...you name it we tried it!!!!

Alysa - posted on 11/01/2008

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Hi there... I have a nine year old son with Aspergers. We received our diagnosis at age 4 and luckily his school is amazingly supportive. What are the behaviors?

Cristina - posted on 10/30/2008

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hey silky... our son just got diagnosed PDD-NOS this august... honestly, i have had to fight and advocate for my son on a level i didn't even know i was capable of... we flew him to portland (fun, trip...saracasm) because here in alaska, we have very limited resources and i just wanted to know (even though we suspected, finally his behaviour made sesnse) and not have the diagnosis process be as frustrated as everything else had... i have had to educate people like doctors here (shouldn't they know this stuff? they're pediatrics and this is a growing issue)... my son's tantrums look like rage, but really i've learned that his world and mine are different... my goal, as his mom, is to try to create a bridge to get him to our world, as best as i can, knowing that he has limits and not pushing... my son has stregnths that typical children don't... i wouldn't trade him for a typical child for anything... but diagnosis was the key for us to acsess medicade, which pays for his occupational therapy, speech therapy, and physical therapy... it deals with his inability to comunicate what he knows he wants.. imagine going your whole life not being able to speak... though my son is VERY verbal, it's not always correct speech...i feel like this detective trying to figure out triggers and not having all the information, because my son can't tell me what hurts or how things are being processed... in all the research i've done... the big thing is early intervention... autism is defined as a neurological disorder, so the brain is shooting of messages to wrong areas or not at all... because the first 5 years of age, or so, the brain is creating this wiring process, the earlier you get your child intervention the higher the ability to reprogram some of that wiring... i say all this to encourage you to fight for your child... get him evaluated by people who know what autism looks like in traits... then get the medicade to help with the financial side of things (they don't pay for aba therapy)... you'll be amazed at how much growth can happen in a child that seemed to be full of rage... best wishes.. cristina

Dena - posted on 10/30/2008

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I have a 12 year old son with Aspergers. He extremely bright, but we constantly struggle with behavior issues. He always is right and is never accountable for his wrong doings. He lacks tack and says rude things. :( Makes me sad b/c we just can't seem to get through to him. We say, "that hurts his feelings when you say things like that." His response is, "well, it wouldn't hurt my feelings." He just has a hard time being empathetic. Does anyone have any luck teaching empathy?

[deleted account]

My daughter had rage issues when she was two. We had no ideas at the time what was causing the rage. It was so scary watching her when she went into a rage. She would scream, bang her head on the wall, pull at her hair, kick stuff.

She didn't have her dx yet and the word Autism was not something we even thought of.

Some of her issue with the rage I believe stemmed from her having ear problems. She had repeated ear infections from the day she was born. Basically she had fluid in both ears 24-7 and this caused a huge delay in her speech. She would try so hard to communicate with us. She had no words to use and she would try and get frustrated. We dealt with the rage, unaware that she had ASD, so lots of patience, guiding her to make sure she didn't injure herself. We tried the melatonin and it helped. We also cut sugar in her diet to basically nothing and lowered her wheat and milk intake and we started to see changes. She's eight right now and still has rage issues, however they are not as severe as they used to be. No more head banging. She will still pull at her hair, scream etc.

Silk - posted on 10/30/2008

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how long did it take for the doctors etc to diagnose your children? just curious is all as the docs still wont give me a firm diagnosis after about 4 years even though the school, us etc know what it is? how do you calm the anger down when they are on "one"? are they in mainstream school? i have so many questions lol its nice to find a group who i can talk to xx

Stacey - posted on 10/29/2008

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When one of my sons was raging when he was young we took him down to a very strict diet...no artificial dyes or ingrediants, no refined sugar, no corn syrup, no milk (casien) or gluten(wheat,rye,barley,etc) and got him private OT at the hospital with a really good sensory therapist. It helped though I ended up putting him on Risperdol after a couple years because he was becoming a danger to self and siblings. I have 3 on the spectrum...very smart, high functioning kids with multiple sensory, anxiety, ODD, OCD, GI issues...also he was waking up very night and building in the middle of the night & wandering (even out of the house) so we did use some natural sleeping aids to help him sleep better...malitonin worked for him...and Eucaliptus/Spearmint pillow spray and herbal warm baths at bedtime...and swimming at the YMCA at night, etc, etc.

Brooke - posted on 10/29/2008

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My son who is almost 4 has aspergers/PDD and is so out of control with rage and sensory problems. I get it...believe me, I do.

Sally - posted on 10/29/2008

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Hi My son is almost seven and has Asperger's. I feel like we have been throug it all...even though I know we have not. Feel free to add me as a friend to chat.

Naomi - posted on 10/27/2008

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my son is 5 and was diagnosed in august, school are slowly starting to accept him but for a long time labelled him as naughty and immature. he is intelligent and talks but has BIG difficulties with the social/emotional side of life, if ya need to talk conact me n i'll help how i can even if its only someone to rant at on a bad day lol

Kathleen - posted on 10/27/2008

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I don't have a child with an ASD (Austim Spectrum Disorder), but work with many kids who do. I am a school-based Occupational Therapist with 7 years experience and have also done ABA for 4 years in family's homes when I was in college...what behaviors/concerns do you have? It's not only behavior, it's social-emotional struggles, communication difficulties, sensory processing difficulties at times which tie into these...that's why it's such a "puzzle." Btw: I love the post above describing the social group at their local university run by an OT professor and students! What a great way to expose students to these kids directly...what a win win situation for the students and the children!

Carla - posted on 10/27/2008

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I've been looking into AS for a few months and he has a dr apt next month to get tested. All of the symptoms I've been reading about are dead-on. He's had behavioral/social disorder for over 2 years and not getting better, even though we've been working with councelors. I'd love to chat about whatever you want!!

Stacey - posted on 10/27/2008

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My 10 year old has Asperger's. Have you tried any kids social groups...we were in one at Western Michigan univeristy's Unified Clinics-Occupational Therapy department. It was a group of kids with similar diagnoses ran by the OT professor and her OT students. It has been great help for my little guy. I would recommend looking for one at a university near you.

[deleted account]

Ahhhh the behaviors- you are not alone! My son has done the head banging to the point of bleeding and poop smearing to biting, hitting ,clawing, etc. We still have behaviors but since we put him on risperdal and the GFCF diet he has been doing better, plus I now homeschool him, but we still have some!! Hang in there! Hugs, Tina

Silk - posted on 10/27/2008

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my 13 year old son has asperges, he still hasnt been statemented at his school and are quite unsupporting. some of the teachers try to help but on the whole they just class him as a disruptive child. to be honest i feel like pulling my hair out with him and the school here in the uk x

[deleted account]

Anndrea, I have an 8 year old daughter she is technically dx with PDD-NOS however she exhibits all Aspergers traits. I have been the gamut with her, doctors, IEPS, dealing with the schools. She is a very high functioning child when it comes to school work etc, howver the emotional side of school is a major major challenge for her.

Bungie Bird - posted on 10/26/2008

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hello i have a 10 year old son with autism,is it the whole family or just certain family members ,you need to just talk stright with your family,they should be surrporting you ,try getting some info on autism ie dvds etc get them to watch it or read ,or even some footage of your son let them c for first hand how ,it can be with a child with austism,some people just dont get them ,they are such loving children ,i wouldent change my conor for for all the money in chnia, good luck

Kerry - posted on 10/26/2008

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Hello everyone i havnt already said hello to. And Katie meisenholder could you please post a thread telling us what ABA is and how it helps. What ages is the program ideal for? Where are you and how do people get to a ABA therapist in your country? What to do at home how can we help our kids when we dont have acess to specialist help>??
thanks for your help and great to see you here!

[deleted account]

I've been providing ABA therapy to children on the spectrum for the past 6 years. I'm here to help if I can. :)

Sheila - posted on 10/23/2008

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My son is now 14.He has been on the spectrum since he was 3. So we have I hope anyyways seen pretty much everything. What are some of the behaviors you are looking at?

[deleted account]

my son was diagnosed with autism last month. What behaviors are troubling you and what interventions have you tried?

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